The Face (54 page)

Dunny sees his friend holding the boy in his lap, in his arms, and he sees the boy holding as tightly as he is able to Ethan, but he sees far more than their wonder at his supernatural presence and more than their relief to be alive. He sees a surrogate father and the son whom he will unofficially adopt, sees two lives raised from despair by the complete commitment of each to the other, sees the years ahead of them, filled with the joy that is born of selfless love but marked also by the anguishes of life that in the end only love can heal. And Dunny knows that what he has done here is the best and cleanest thing that he has ever done or, ironically, ever will.

“The PT Cruiser, the truck,” Ethan wonders.

“You died a second time,” Dunny says, “because destiny struggles to reassert the pattern that was meant to be. Your death in Reynerd’s apartment came by your own free will, because of choices you made. In setting time back, I thwarted your self-made destiny. You don’t need to fully understand. You can’t. Just know that now…destiny won’t reassert that pattern. By your choices and by your acts, you’ve now made another destiny for yourself.”

“The bells from the ambulance,” Ethan asks, “all the games with them…?”

Dunny smiles at Fric. “What are the rules? How must we angels work?”

“By indirection,” the boy says. “Encourage, inspire, terrify, cajole, advise. You influence events by every means that is sly, slippery, and seductive.”

“See, there’s a thing you now know that most other people don’t,” Dunny says. “More important perhaps than knowing that civet is squeezed from the anal glands of cats into perfume bottles.”

The boy has a smile to make his model mother’s fade from memory, and he has an inner light that shines without the help of spiritual advisers.

“Those people that…that rose up out of the driveway and threw themselves at the car,” Ethan says with lingering bewilderment.

“Images of Moloch’s victims, which I conjured out of water and sent running at his car to frighten him,” Dunny explains.

“Damn, I missed that!” Fric says.

“Furthermore, we guardian angels don’t pull our white robes around us and just harp-strum ourselves from here to there the way movies would have you believe. How do we travel, Fric?”

The boy starts well but falters: “You travel by mirrors, by mist, by smoke, by doorways…”

“Doorways in water, by stairways made of shadows, on roads of moonlight,” Dunny prompts.

Fric picks up the thread of memory: “By wish and hope and simple expectation.”

“Would you like one last exhibition of an angel flying in this way that angels
really
fly?”

“Cool,” the boy says.

“Wait,” Ethan says.

“There is no waiting,” Dunny says, for now he receives the call and must answer. “I’m done here forever.”

“My friend,” Ethan says.

Grateful for those two words, grateful beyond expression, Dunny transforms his body by the power granted in his contract, becoming hundreds of luminous golden butterflies that rise gracefully into the rain and one by one, with flutter of wings, fold themselves into the night, away from the sight of mortal eyes.

CHAPTER 95

W
HEN DUNNY MATERIALIZES ON THE THIRD floor of the great house, in answer to the call, Typhon steps through the double doors from Channing Manheim’s private suite, into the north hall, shaking his head in amazement. “Dear boy, have you taken a tour of these rooms?”

“No, sir.”

“Even I myself have not enjoyed quite such luxury. But then again, with all my traveling, I stay mostly in hotels, and even the finest of them offer no suites comparable to this.”

Sirens arise in the night outside.

“Mr. Hazard Yancy,” Typhon says, “has sent the cavalry a tad too late, but I’m sure they’ll be welcome.”

Together they walk to the main elevator, which opens as they approach.

With his usual grace, Typhon indicates that Dunny should enter ahead of him.

As the doors close behind them and they begin to descend, Typhon says, “Splendid work. Magnificent, really. I believe you achieved all you hoped and much more.”

“Much more,” Dunny admits, for between them he is required to speak only the truth.

Merry eyes twinkling, Typhon says, “You must acknowledge that I honored all the terms to which we agreed, and in fact I interpreted them with considerable elasticity.”

“I’m deeply grateful, sir, for the opportunity you gave me.”

Typhon pats Dunny’s shoulder affectionately. “For a few years there, dear boy, we thought we’d lost you.”

“Not even close.”

“Oh, much closer than you think,” Typhon assures him. “You were almost a goner. I’m so glad it worked out this way.”

Typhon pats his shoulder one more time, and Dunny’s body drops to the floor of the elevator, while still his spirit stands here in suit and tie, the very image of the corpse at its feet, but far less solid in appearance than the lifeless flesh.

After a moment, the body vanishes.

“Where?” Dunny wonders.

With a pleasant chuckle of delight, Typhon says, “There’s going to be some shocked and confounded people in the garden room back at Our Lady of Angels. The naked cadaver they lost is suddenly found well-dressed, with folding money in its pockets.”

They have reached the ground floor. The garages wait below.

With that note of sweet concern that is so characteristic of him, Typhon asks, “Dear boy, are you afraid?”

“Yes.”

Afraid but not terrified. At this moment, in his immortal heart, Dunny has no room for terror.

Minutes ago, looking at Ethan and the boy on the stone bench, aware of the love between them and of the future they would share as father and son in everything but name, Dunny had been pierced by a regret sharper than any he had known before. The night that Hannah died, a sorrow flooded through him, almost swept him away, sorrow not only for her, not only at the loss of her, but sorrow for the mess he had made of his life. Sorrow had changed him but had not changed him enough, for it brought him no further than to the point of regret.

This anguish that now comes upon him on the way from ground floor to garage is not, in fact, merely a keener regret, but is instead remorse so powerful that he feels sharply bitten and torn by guilt, which is the mother of remorse, feels a terrible gnawing in the bones of his spirit. He trembles, shakes, shakes violently with the first true realization of the hideous impact that his misled life has had on others.

Faces rise in memory, the faces of men he has broken, of women he has treated with unspeakable cruelty, of children who have found their way to a life of drugs and crime and ruin along the path that he has led them, and though these are faces painfully familiar, he sees them as if for the first time because he sees in each face now, as never he had seen before, an individual with hopes and dreams and the potential for good. In his life, all these people had been but the means with which he satisfied his desires and needs, not people at all to him, but merely sources of pleasure and tools to be used.

What had seemed to him to be a fundamental transformation of the heart following the death of Hannah had been more sentimental self-pity than meaningful change. He had known sorrow, yes, and a degree of regret, but he had not known this fierce remorse and the wracking humility that comes with it.

“Dear boy, I understand what you’re going through,” Typhon says as they pass the upper garage. He means the terror that he believes now consumes Dunny, but for Dunny terror is the least of it.

Mere remorse is an inadequate description, as well, for this is such devastating remorse, such a grinding anguish, that he knows no word for it. As the faces plague him, faces from a life squandered, Dunny asks forgiveness of them, one by one,
begs
forgiveness with a profound humility that is also new to him, cries out to them though he is dead and cannot make amends, though many of them died before him and cannot hear how desperately he wishes he could undo the past.

The elevator has passed the lower of the two garages, and still they descend. They are not in the elevator any longer, merely in the
idea
of an elevator, and a strange one. The walls are mottled with mold, filth. The air reeks. The floor looks like…compacted bones.

Dunny is aware that changes are occurring in Typhon’s face, that the sweet androgynous features and the merry eyes are giving way to something that better reflects the spirit within the grandfatherly form that he has heretofore assumed. Dunny is aware of this only from the corner of his eye, for he dares not look directly. Dares not.

Floor after floor they descend, though the numbers on the panel above the door run only from one to five.

“I am developing quite an appetite,” Typhon informs him. “As far as I am able to recall—and I’ve got a fine memory—I’ve never been as famished as this. I’m positively ravenous.”

Dunny refuses to think about what this might mean, and in fact he is beyond caring. “I have earned whatever comes,” he says, as the faces from his life still haunt his memory, faces in legions.

“Soon,” Typhon says.

Dunny stands in spirit bowed, looking at the floor from which his body had disappeared, ready to accept whatever suffering comes if it will mean an end to this unbearable anguish, this gnawing remorse.

“As terrible as this will be,” Typhon says, “perhaps it would have been as bad for you if you had rejected my offer and chosen to wait a thousand years in purgatory before moving…up. You weren’t ready to go directly to the light. The sweet deal I gave you has spared you from so much
tedious
waiting.”

The elevator slows, stops. A
ping
signifies arrival, as if they are going nowhere more exotic than to work in an office building.

When the doors slide open, someone enters, but Dunny will not look up at this new arrival. There is room in him for terror now, but still he is not dominated by it.

At the sight of the person who has entered the elevator, Typhon curses explosively, with a rage inhuman, voice still recognizable but with none of its former humor or charm. He thrusts himself in front of Dunny and says with bitter condemnation, “We have a bargain. You sold your soul to me, boy, and I gave you more than you asked for.”

By the exertion of his greater will, by the awesome power at his command, Typhon makes Dunny look at him.

This face.

Oh, this
face.
This face of ten thousand nightmares distilled. This face that the mind of no mortal ever could imagine. Had Dunny been alive, the sight of this face would have killed him, and here it withered his spirit.

“You asked to save Truman, and you did,” Typhon reminds him in a voice that by the word grows more guttural and more saturated with hatred. “Guardian angel, you told him.
Dark
angel was nearer the truth. Truman is all you asked, but I gave you the brat and Yancy, too. You’re like those Hollywood pooh-bahs in that hotel bar, like the politician and her handlers that I snared in San Francisco. You all think you’re clever enough to slip out of the deals you make with me when the time comes to fulfill the terms, but all pay in the end.
Bargains are not broken here!”

“Leave,” says the new arrival.

Dunny has chosen not to look at this person. If there are worse sights than what Typhon has here become—and surely there will be an infinite progression of far worse sights—he will not look at them by choice but only as he is forced to look, as Typhon forced him.

More insistently this time:
“Leave.”

Typhon steps out of the elevator, and as Dunny starts to follow him, going to the fate that he has earned and accepted, the doors slide shut, barring his exit, and he is alone with the new arrival.

The elevator begins to move once more, and Dunny trembles at the realization that there may be even deeper realms than the abyss into which Typhon has gone.

“I understand what you’re going through,” the new arrival says, echoing the statement Typhon had made earlier as they had descended out of Palazzo Rospo to places stranger still.

When she’d spoken the single word,
leave,
he had not recognized her voice. Now he does. He knows this must be a trick, a torment, and he will not look up.

She says, “You’re right that the word
remorse
can’t describe the anguish that’s come over you, that tears so painfully at your spirit. Neither can
sorrow
or
regret
or
grief.
But you’re wrong to think you don’t know the word, Dunny. You learned it once, and you still know it, although until now it’s been an emotion beyond your experience.”

He loves that voice so much that he can’t forever avert his gaze from she who speaks with it. Steeling himself for the discovery that the gentle voice issues from a face as hideous as Typhon’s, he raises his eyes and finds that Hannah looks as beautiful as she did in life.

This surprise is followed by an astonishment: He has misjudged the motion of the elevator. They are not going down to a darkness even deeper than the darkness visible. They are ascending.

The walls are no longer encrusted with mold and filth. The air no longer reeks.

With wonder, not yet daring to hope, Dunny says, “How can this be?”

“Words are the world, Dunny. They have meaning, and by virtue of the fact that they have meaning, they have power. When you open your heart to sorrow,” Hannah says, “when after sorrow you learn regret, and when after regret you achieve remorse, then beyond remorse lies contrition, which is the word that describes your anguish now. This is a word of awesome power, Dunny. With this word sincerely in your heart, no hour is too late, no darkness eternal, no stupid bargain binding on a man as changed as you.”

She smiles. Her smile is radiant.

The Face.

Her face is lovely, but within it, he sees another Face, as within Typhon had been another, though this visage is not poured from a distillery of nightmares. Impossibly, this Face—
the
Face—within her face is yet more beautiful than hers, the source of her radiance, so profoundly beautiful that he would be stunned breathless if he were not a spirit who had given up breathing when his body had been shorn from him.

The Face of infinite and beautiful complexity is also the Face of a mercy that—even now, in his ascendant state—he can’t fully comprehend but for which he is inexpressibly grateful.

And yet another amazement: He realizes from Hannah’s expression that she recognizes within his countenance the same shining awesome Face that he sees within hers, that in her eyes, he is as radiant as she to him.

“Life is a long road, Dunny, even when it’s cut short. A long road and often hard. But that’s behind you.” She grinned. “Get ready for the next and better ride. Man, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”

Ping!