The Faithful Heart (8 page)

 

 

“Morgana, please don’t be angry .I am merely concerned for your
welfare. Has it not occurred to you that the person responsible for
the poisoning of your father might make an attempt upon your life
now that you are back?” Ruairc asserted.

 

 

“Yes, it has occurred to me, Ruairc, which is why I'm wearing a
dagger under my cloak." She had brought it with her to the convent
when she had become a novice, and hastily found it and donned it
before she had left with Ruairc. "But I have no reason to trust you
either, when for all I know you could be in league with your
brothers to ruin my family."

 

 

"If I had killed your brother for my own gain, I certainly wouldn't
have squandered everything," he observed quietly with a sweep of his
hand. “Look at this place! Do you really think this is
my
doing?”

 

 

She shook her head angrily. "It's like a wilderness compared to only
two years ago. Which is why I must fight this. Do what I can to
relieve the suffering of the poor.Which is why I can't cower in fear
inside the castle walls. Nor sit around doing embroidery and
experimenting with new ways to coif my hair, as Aofa has done for
the past two years, while all this has been taking place.”

 

 

“Nay, I know you only too well, my love. I just want you to have a
care for your own safety,
a stor
, that's all,” Ruairc said
softly.

 

 

Morgana observed impatiently, “There is far more danger inside the
castle at the moment than out there.”

 

 

Ruairc didn't deny it. After a time he asked, “What do you wish to
do now? “

 

 

She began to walk back to the castle, taking such long strides he
had to hurry to keep up. “I will go see Father first to consult with
him. Then I am going to the kitchen to see what stores are there
that we can give to the folk. Tomorrow we will see about getting
more food and supplies.

 

 

"If Father recovers, I will have got the place back on its feet. If
not, then we shall have to look towards the future. I shall have to
decide which of my cousins will take the succession from me.

 

 

"So, I shall consult with my father now. If you wish to help, meet
me in the kitchens in half an hour’s time.”

 

 

Morgana swept in through the castle portal, leaving Ruairc standing
alone in the darkness. He stumbled over the door lintel and wondered
how Morgana could move with such ease. She always did have eyes like
a cat, he thought angrily, as he tripped again, and heard her
footfalls outpacing him, leaving him far behind.

 

 

“Wait for me, Morgana!” he called into the dark hall.

 

 

“I did once, Ruairc, but I can’t do it anymore,” she said, suddenly
close to his ear. “I have a new life now, one which you are not part
of. If this situation is as dangerous as you say, then I tell you
now, this is not your fight. Go to your brothers, or back to
Dublin.Save yourself if you can, for you will not be spared if it
becomes a fight to the death.”

 

 

Ruairc grasped Morgana’s arm as she began to step away. She felt his
other hand slide behind her coif to the bare skin on the back of her
neck.

 

 

“Look at me, and tell me to leave, Morgana,” Ruairc demanded.

 

 

“Ruairc, I want you to leave,” she whispered, though a small catch
in her voice betrayed her emotion.

 

 

“You see, you can’t hide it from me. In spite of everything, you
still care, or else you would not be so concerned for my safety.”

 

 

Ruairc suddenly smiled, and pulled her close, so that her head
rested against his broad chest.

 

 

For a moment, Morgana allowed herself the luxury of being enfolded
in his warm embrace.

 

 

Then she stepped back, and said, “My father, we must look in on him.
And tomorrow, will you sit with him and take care of him while I run
some errands?”

 

 

She headed up the winding stairs to the second floor without even
waiting for an answer.

 

 

“Morgana, it's not safe to ride out into the countryside,” Ruairc
warned, once again having to trot behind her to keep up.

 

 

“I will keep your warning in mind,” she said quietly, as she entered
her father’s room.

 

 

Morgana was relieved to see there was a bit more colour in Morgan’s
cheeks, and he ate again from the small parcel of provisions Ruairc
had brought.

 

 

“That cordial is marvellous, Ruairc,” he said with a grateful smile
as he sipped more of Aunt Agatha’s special concoction.

 

 

“I’m glad you're feeling better,” Ruairc said softly, with a fond
glance at the older man.

 

 

“I am indeed, and would have you send to your aunt for more of her
wonderful potion. While you are about that, I wish to speak to
Morgana alone.”

 

 

Ruairc bowed to them both, and with a pat on the old man's shoulder,
and a stroke of Morgana's head, he left.

 

 

He waited until the door was shut, and said quietly, “I can guess
where you've been, Daughter. You've been around the castle and down
to the village.Knowing you as well as I do, I know you would not
rest tonight until you had seen all there was to see. No doubt you
have already begun on the work which must be done.You have seen the
damage my neglect has caused.

 

 

"Nay, more than neglect, foolish grief, with no care or thought for
the future. But I had lost the two things I treasured above all.I am
close enough to death to tell you the truth now, so that you can
learn the extent of my foolish pride, and you will know once and for
all beyond the shadow of a doubt that Ruairc is blameless.”

 

 

“What truth?”’ Morgana whispered.

 

 

“Ruairc was not to blame for your brother’s death, for he was away
on an errand for me, making preparations for your wedding, and
legally dividing the lands between yourself and Conor, so that you
would both be my joint heirs.”

 

 

Morgana was dumbstruck.“But Father, splitting the land? Between a
man and a woman? It is unheard of.”

 

 

“Your brother was a great warrior, but weak in the ways of managing
the estates. Conor could never have held it all together in peace
and harmony.

 

 

"I knew if he were ever in trouble, you would come to save him, you
and Ruairc, my loyal foster son and your husband, and Conor's best
allies he could have ever hoped for. That is also why your share was
to have been two-thirds of the estate, instead of a mere half.”

 

 

Morgana stared at her father, all her doubts and mixed emotions
swirling within. She licked her lips and managed to find her
voice.“But surely if this were true, it would have been all the more
reason for Ruairc to kill Conor, to take it
all
for himself,
not merely two-thirds.”

 

 

“And I tell you, Ruairc was not to blame. Yes, I know the dagger
which killed your brother looked like Ruairc’s, but three days
before your brother’s death, when we were out hunting, he broke the
jewel off the handle, a large ruby. I ought to know, I gave it to
him, as my father had given the dagger to me.It never left his side.
No one could have stolen it, so a copy must have been made.That copy
killed your brother, for there was still a jewel on the hilt.”

 

 

“Father, why did you not tell me so before!” Morgana gasped.

 

 

“I was so stunned when I saw the dagger, I didn’t bother to look
closely. It was only much later, that I remembered the hunting
incident, and by then it was too late.

 

 

“You were gone, Ruairc had left for parts unknown, and in any case,
I thought at that point that you didn’t love each other enough to
put the whole incident behind you.

 

 

"To tell you the truth, by that point I really didn’t care. It is a
terrible thing to tell you, but I begrudged you life and happiness
while I had lost my only son. But,” Morgan said, holding up a
shaking claw, “I was wrong, not for the first time, and your mother
was right, as she always was. She insisted you be named after me,
and I will tell you now, Daughter, never once, ever, have I been
disappointed in you."

 

 

"Oh, Father, you don't have to say—"

 

 

He silenced her with one finger on her lips. "I do have to. Before
it's too late. I know I have never been honest with you about my
feelings, for you should have been a boy. But not a day has gone by
that my heart hasn’t nearly burst with pride at seeing you grow more
beautiful, more strong, more womanly, and more wise. Never had I met
a woman like you, though your mother came close. I'm so proud of
you, I cannot say. I thank God for sparing me long enough to right
some of the wrongs I have committed over the past eighteen years,
and I hope you can forgive me.”

 

 

“Oh Father, there is nothing to forgive. Sean said to me that
nothing is gained without struggle and sacrifice,” Morgana sighed,
tears in her eyes.

 

 

He nodded. “You struggled to make this clan what it is now, not your
brother, and I have let it all slip away. But it can be great again,
with you at the head of the family once more,” her father insisted,
before reclining back upon the pillows, more at ease than she had
seen him since she had arrived.

 

 

“But my vows, my duty to the convent,” Morgana protested. “Surely
Finn or Patrick can take my place.”

 

 

“No one can take your place, Morgana, that you know. The clan loves
you. They will do anything for you. They will even die for you if
need be.”

 

 

“No, Father, I have left the battles and raids behind,” Morgana
denied. "I am supposed to be a nun, and bring peace to the land."

 

 

Morgan grasped his daughter’s wrist fiercely and tracecd the sinews
in her arm with the forefinger of his other hand. “Look at you.
Battle is what you are made for. You are a warrior, however much you
pretend otherwise!”

 

 

“No, Father!” Morgana argued. "Not any more."

 

 

"And a worker." He traced the callouses on her palm. "These are not
the hands of a simpering aristocratic beauty. You are made for toil,
made to rule, to be a leader of men. For you lead from the front, by
example. Many might envy you, but most wish to emulate you.
Strength, intelligence, power, you have them all, and they can yield
you so much more, if only you will embrace your fate."

 

 

She shook her head. "You tell me this after two years in exile, and
a lifetime of neglect? Forgive me if I don't trust a word you say."

 

 

The old man smiled grimly. “I understand. Damn my stubborn pride for
not having told you all this sooner. For not having sent for you
before things became so dire.

 

 

"You do not wish to hear the truth now, Daughter.But time is running
out for all of us. You know what to you have to do. I pray God
you're not too late.”

 

 

Morgana's stout heart began to fail at the enormity of what was
being asked of her. “Father, please, my duty is supposed to be to
the convent. If you are feeling better, I will stay a few more days
to organise things, and then go back for my vows. You shall continue
to rule as always, and--”

 

 

“Nay, you are deceiving yourself. I have not the heart, nor the
skill, as well you know. And what of Ruairc! He loves you! Are you
going to abandoned him to a barren wasteland for the rest of his
life because of your stiff-necked pride? He is innocent. He loves
you!The reasons for you going to the convent in the first place no
longer apply. They never did! Ruairc is innocent. Marry him, for
God’s sake, and be happy!”

 

 

She shook her head. “It’s not that simple, Father, and you know it!
I’m not sure I could love him any longer, and in any case he is a
MacMahon.He could still be the enemy!A copied dagger could all be
part of the plan to kill Conor.”

 

 

“In that case he would have made sure he married you first, before
Conor’s murder! He was miles away at the time, with several of the
servants as proof of his whereabouts. And with you when he came
back, for most of the time until the hue and cry was raised that
Conor had been killed.

 

 

"No, the blame lies with someone else. Trust Ruairc with your life.
He loves you. He would never have harmed Conor or myself for
personal gain.”

 

 

I’m sorry, Father, but everyone has a price!”

 

 

“Even you?” the old man demanded angrily.

 

 

“What are you saying?” Morgana bristled.

 

 

“If what you say is true, Daughter, it could be you who killed him,
or poisoned me!”

 

 

Don’t be silly! I love you, I would never! “ Morgana spluttered in
outrage.

 

 

“You see,” the old man crowed in triumph. “Now you know what Ruairc
has been feeling all this time, falsely accused by you and me and
the entire clan.”

 

 

Morgana subsided into silence, her chest heaving with anger.

 

 

They sat mute for a few moments, until Morgan turned his eyes to his
daughter, and asked quietly, “What will you do now?”

 

 

Morgana outlined the plans she had already made, and the old man
nodded.

 

 

“Good girl. I knew you would put your mind to the problem quickly.”

 

 

“Tell no one, Father,” she whispered, “not even Ruairc.”