The Fall of Chance (33 page)

“I don’t know.” Unt was genuinely perplexed and it must have showed because the Wizard softened a notch.

“Well, it’s a diary of course, isn’t it?” The word sounded like a curse.

“I don’t know what that is.”

The Wizard frowned. “A diary? It’s a journal. A record of your thoughts?”

“I don’t understand,” said Unt. “Why would someone write their thoughts down? Especially if they didn’t want others to see?”

“To know your own mind,” said the Wizard, darkly.

“But surely people know their own minds.”

“Idiot,” said the Wizard, “What do I keep saying to you about the importance of looking after your own wellbeing? A diary is the preservation of the self. It sets down the boy you were and keeps it alive while you go on to become another man.”

“But if you want to keep it, why be ashamed of it?”

“Why? Because a man wants to better himself. The more he improves, the more he is appalled by the simplicity, vulgarity and blatant idiocy of his younger self.” He breathed. “Do you really have no diaries in that town of yours?”

“We have the town record,” said Unt, “but we don’t have anything like that. Back home, paper’s a luxury. We mostly use it for business.”

The Wizard snorted. “A sensible philosophy. How much did you see?”

“Just one entry, I swear.”

“What did you read? Actually no, don’t tell me. Just forget anything you saw.”

Unt would have promised if he could but how could he say he’d make himself forget? An empty promise would only work the Wizard up into fresh anger.

The Wizard looked at him side-long and saw his genuine remorse. He looked at the book, then at the fire, then back at Unt. “You are never, ever to go in this bookshelf again,” he said. He pushed the book back into its place and stalked off outside.

Unt was left holding the blue book. He’d thought that book held the essence of the Wizard but he was only half-right. This was only the total of his technical side: the red volume was the sum of his emotions. Together, they were the record of the man.

Unknowing what to do, he drifted over to the fire and lay the blue book down. Whether it would get used now, only the Wizard could tell.

Just then, the Wizard reappeared in the doorway. “Unt,” he said. Unt looked but the Wizard said nothing more.

Had he come to apologise? It was unlikely but the old man was unpredictable. No; he just beckoned with his finger. Dutifully, Unt obeyed and followed the Wizard outside.

Still, the Wizard said nothing. He just started walking and Unt joined in step beside him. They went up to the edge of the camp, up where the corn had been and where the turnips were now planted.

The Wizard pointed at the patch where Unt had sewn his recovery crop. The leaves were all eaten and dead. “You chose your goal,” he said. “You took up with pointless, well-meaning distractions. And look at you now. You’re dead.”

21. Decay

Winter was setting in deep now. The Wizard shook Unt awake one morning with mist on his breath and announced that they were going fishing. “There’s nothing like fish to see you through a cold winter,” he said as they breakfasted on rock-hard bread.

“Most times, the weather’ll do a good job of preserving it on its own,” he went on. Unt was happy to let him talk. The Wizard was always happier when he had a good rant in the morning. “On top of that, I tend to pack ‘em in salt.”

“Now, don’t ask me where I got salt from. There’s a knack to getting it and I’ll show you another time but right now, I think we’ve got the opportunity to go one better.”

“What do you mean?” asked Unt, as he was supposed to.

“That monstrosity of yours, that millpond. What if we make it a fishpond, eh? Preservation’s all well and good but there’s no better preservative than being alive.”

The mill project was something that was not really spoken of. The mill led to the diary and neither of them wanted to discuss that. The project was on hold. The sluice doors and their hinges had been left unmade. The one thing Unt had done was knock down the remaining earth between the stream and the reservoir. He had no idea why he’d done it. Perhaps it was because it made the project look finished but looking done was as far as it was going to get.

Now the Wizard had taken the decision to break the taboo on the subject. It seemed the Wizard could do that, though Unt never could. The best thing to do was roll with it.

“And how are we going to stock it?” Unt asked.

“Two moons back, it was you who said we could use it for a fish store,” said the Wizard, now relinquishing ownership of the idea. “You tell me how you were thinking of doing it.”

“I thought we might find a nursery and transport some eggs,” said Unt, “Or failing that, grab some breeding pairs and ferry them over in buckets.”

“There’ll be no eggs or breeder at this time of year,” said the Wizard.

“I didn’t think there would be.”

“But carrying them over is a fair idea,” the Wizard allowed.

“It’ll take a lot of traps,” said Unt.

“Got any other plans?”

“Apparently not.”

“Good. Then let’s go fishing.”

*              *              *              *

They actually had a good time. The Wizard knew a few good fishing spots and they covered them all. In some places, where the waters were still, they had to break through a thin ice before they could start.

In the morning alone, they made a dozen trips up and down the mountain. Each time, they had two buckets and each one was mostly filled with water with two or three fish as well. They didn’t tire, though. Somewhere along the line, it had turned into a competition to see who could bag the most.

By lunchtime, they’d added a dozen fish apiece to their living larder. They took food downhill to the river and they sat by the shore while they ate. The Wizard had decanted his latest batch of beer into some bottles and they chilled these in the icy river before drinking them.

“This is the life,” said the Wizard and Unt didn’t disagree. “Do you remember this place? It’s where I found you. Just by that rock there.”

Unt looked around. It was hard to believe this peaceful scene could have been his deathbed. “It’s lucky you happened by,” he said.

“Lucky? It’s lucky you chose a good fishing spot to lie down in or else I’d never have found you.”

“You were fishing?”

“Supposed to be. Never thought I’d land a boy, though!” The Wizard actually shook with laughter.

“I guess you’ve caught none bigger,” said Unt.

“No, but there are some good-sized uns here.”

“Really?”

“Oh, yes. It’s all about quality, not quantity on this stretch.”

“Tell you what, then,” said Unt, “Let’s draw a line under who can catch the most fish. Let’s see who can catch the biggest.”

“I’ll wipe the floor with you,” said the Wizard.

“Don’t be so sure,” said Unt.

They went back to work, or rather, to play. Even the Wizard seemed to forget about stocking the millpond and focused on beating Unt. Unt saw him throw at least two fish back in the river.

Unt himself took an early lead and bettered that with a second. The Wizard cursed but a little while later, he was dancing for joy. “Take a look at that!” he yelled. “Take a look at that!”

Unt left his net to go and see, expecting to be underwhelmed. Instead, he was surprised. The Wizard had caught an enormous fish; as long as his leg.

“She’s a beauty,” said Unt.

“She’s too big for a bucket,” said the Wizard, rolling his prize in the net that had caught it.

“You’re not wrong. Best get up the mountain quickly.”

“And let you try and get one better?”

“I’m not going to be able to beat that,” laughed Unt. “I concede defeat.”

“You concede?”

“Yes.”

The Wizard thumped the air in triumph. “Victory is mine!”

“Not if you let her die,” said Unt. “Let’s get going.”

They went quickly. The Wizard had to wrestle with a massive, ungainly fish but Unt still had the two buckets he’d filled with his best prizes. The Wizard pulled away and by the time Unt reached the millpond, the Wizard was stood on the far bank, waiting.

“Where’ve you been?” he called out. “Old Macey here’s as dry as a board.”

“Chuck her in then,” Unt shouted back.

“Not without due ceremony,” said the Wizard. He held his net aloft. “I declare this fish…supper,” he said and emptied the net.

Unt wasn’t sure what happened then. Maybe the weight of the fish overwhelmed him. Maybe the bank was slippery. Whatever the reason, the Wizard tumbled in.

He screamed as he went in the icy water. Unt laughed at first but quickly realised that the Wizard was in trouble. He dashed round the far side while the Wizard splashed desperately. He had fallen into the deepest section and now his heavy furs were pulling him down. Unt slid to the ground from a run, stretching his arm out to grab the Wizard’s. He plucked him by the wrist, one arm, then two, then he sat up, braced his legs and dragged the old man bodily out.

Unt dropped the Wizard beside him then lay back a moment to catch his breath. He looked over at his companion. He was coughing and spluttering which was a good sign. Unt would have been more worried if he’d stayed still.

“Are you all right?” he gasped.

“Get me home!” the Wizard grumbled.

Unt was about to tell him to get home himself but then he saw the Wizard was more than just wet. The impact with the freezing water had knocked something out of him, in moments it had aged him.

Shock, thought Unt. It was best to get him indoors immediately. Wasting no time, he scooped the Wizard up, furs and all. They were heavy with water and that water would sap his body heat but Unt feared exposure if he stripped him. It wasn’t far to the cabin so he opted for getting to warmth first.

He carried the Wizard in his arms, like a baby and the Wizard complained all the while. “It’s your fault with your stupid fish,” he said between shivers. “I should have stuck to my own council and done what I know works.”

Unt let him talk. If it distracted the old man, so much the better. He was listening to the Wizard’s voice, hearing for sounds that the chill was settling deeper. The signs were getting less promising. By the time they reached camp, the Wizard was so bad Unt could barely understand him.

The Wizard cursed as Unt caught his head when he carried him into the cabin. Unt took no notice and laid the Wizard on his bed. He whipped off the furs, then the underclothes and swaddled him in the warm, dry bedding.

He looked around for other clothing. He was surprised and worried by how fast the cold had taken a grip. Normally, when people were exposed to the wet and cold you had a fair window to get them dry before the effects set in.

But that was talking about young, fit people. When Unt took off the furs, he realised how old and frail the Wizard really was. Had he been like this when he carried Unt up the mountain or had he secretly been losing weight for months? By mutual consent, Unt and the Wizard always averted their eyes when the other was dressing. He’d never seen the man beneath the scaffold of skins.

He found some clothes and a towel and made sure the Wizard was properly dry before he put them on. He recoiled a bit when he had to go near the top of another man’s legs but he gritted his teeth and blasted through it. Dressing him was difficult but at least the Wizard didn’t struggle. He didn’t even complain, which was worrying.

“I’ll draw you a bath,” Unt said loudly. The Wizard owned a deep, metal bath. They used it rarely because it took so long to fill and it normally lived outside.

“I’m not deaf,” said the old man.

“Just keep talking,” said Unt, wanting to keep him awake. He hurriedly made a fire.

“I must be in the shit if you want me to do that,” coughed the Wizard.

When Unt had got the fire burning he drew water from the butt outside and put it on to boil. He then went for the bath and dragged the heavy thing inside, putting it by the fire.

“Don’t waste your time with that,” said the Wizard. “Just bring me some tea and I’ll be all right in a while.”

Unt doubted that but said,” When the water’s boiled, I’ll put some aside in a mug.”

“Make it an herbal one,” said the Wizard.

“Tell me what to put in, then.”

Unt listened patiently as the Wizard directed him around the stores. He dragged his heels, letting time for the water to boil while the Wizard was distracted.

When he’d gathered the ingredients into a muslin bag, the water was coming to the boil. He dunked the herbal bomb in a mug of water and left it to brew while he put the remaining water in the bath. He then put more on to boil.

He took the mug over to the Wizard and held it as he drank. The Wizard sipped greedily. He didn’t even bother to push away Unt’s assistance. “Ah, that’s the ticket,” he said.

“I’ll put some in your bath,” said Unt.

“And brew me up like a great pot of this stuff? Why are you trying to get me wet anyhow? Being wet’s my problem.”

“Being cold’s your problem,” said Unt. “There’s nothing that will put the heat back in you like a hot bath.”

“That’s your medical opinion, is it?”

“Just common sense.”

“A contradiction in terms if ever there was,” the Wizard sulked.

It took four batches to make enough water to fill a bath and by the time the last was finished, the water at the bottom had been cooling for twenty minutes. All together, it was nice and hot but not scorching.

“Here, let’s get you in,” he said and went to undress the Wizard.

“Make your mind up, do you want me dressed or undressed?” muttered the Wizard. He assisted Unt this time but his fingers were shaking. Unt helped him get in and he sank up to his shoulders.

“Bring me that tea, lad,” he sighed and Unt obliged. As he picked up the mug, beside it was the Wizard’s hat with its massive horns. He looked back at the old man and saw that he really was an old man. He looked a lesser creature without his horns.

*              *              *              *

Unt got the Wizard dry after his bath and put him to bed. An earthenware bottle filled with hot water was placed below his feet and would keep him warm through the night.

Unt stayed up for hours after, watching the Wizard from the fireplace. When he finally got too tired to stay up any longer, he rolled out his own bed in front of the fire and went to sleep.

At one point during the night, he woke and went over to check on his patient. He had only a candle for light and had to lean in close for a look. He was alarmed to see the Wizard’s skin looked grey. He touched him and the flesh was cold.

Horrified, he thought he was dead. He shook the old man in panic, desperate for a reaction. The Wizard stirred weakly and Unt sighed relief but his condition was far from good.

The Wizard went back to sleep unprotesting and Unt tried to sleep too. From time to time, he would nod off but it didn’t last. His mind wouldn’t let him sleep too deeply. He worried that if he did, the Wizard might slip away in the night.

Morning came with no signs of improvement. The Wizard couldn’t get out of bed and needed Unt for everything. As the day went on, he had to do latrine duty which was unpleasant and then he had to feed him too. By the day’s end, the Wizard had made no progress and had barely even spoken.

*              *              *              *

That day became the template for many days to follow. It fell to Unt to not only nurse the Wizard but to tend to the camp itself. All the jobs that they had shared between them were suddenly his responsibility and he had to be a full-time carer too. The short days didn’t help either. Unt had a very small window in which he could get any work done outside.