The Fall of Sky (21 page)

Chapter Thirty-Nine

1 month later…

Liv

The swirling water
from the toilet sounded distant as I breathed through my mouth, staving off the smell of chlorine and vomit as I hunched over the rim and spat. I held my hair back away from my face, but the shorter strands kept escaping. I’d woken up sick to my stomach and had barely made it to the bathroom.

Feeling weak and still a bit nauseous, I pattered off to the sink and rinsed my mouth, splashing my face with water. Grabbing a towel from the stack the motel left on the sink, I dried my face and peered at myself in the mirror. I was a sallow green shade, but it was fading as the moments ticked by. I’d lost weight recently and was beginning to look even more waif like. Maybe I should see a doctor.

I shook my head and tossed the towel to the side. I hated doctors. Loathed them. There was no way I was going there whatsoever for a small bout of food poisoning.

Heading out of the restroom, I plopped back onto the bed and peered over to the second bed next to me.  Audrey slept curled up into Saul as he softly snored. The hotel had been nearly booked full, and we’d been forced to share a room this time. Luckily, it was our day off, and I could relax and recover from whatever was ailing me. We had one more week on tour, and then we would finish recording the second album and take a long vacation before it released and we’d be thrown on tour again.

I hoped it lasted longer than a few months. I was exhausted from travelling and singing almost every night for the last three months. It was more than draining.

I let my face sink into the pillow I’d bunched up under my head. Listening to the soft breathing from the other bed, I knew I wasn’t the only one burnt out on touring. My body ached in every little joint, my throat was constantly sore, and my legs felt like Jell-O most days. Exercising kept me in shape, but nothing compared to the energy it took to keep going weeks on end on little sleep, forgetting to eat now and then, compiled with extreme jetlag. I was pretty done with this rock ‘n roll crap for a while, and we weren’t even near the end.

Closing my eyes, my thoughts went to Emilio and then to Jonas. I’d not seen either since Jonas had ripped me out of my tour bus at 2am to see me desperately a month ago. We’d spent a couple nights together before he left again. No contact from Emilio since a week before that. It worried me to not hear from either of them, and the loneliness crept into me during these wee hours of the mornings.

At least Audrey had Saul. Hell…she had Random too, and no one was going to kill her if either found out about the other. I knew about Random. He’d demanded to get a chance with Audrey, hence the reason I’d stayed with Jonas longer than usual as an excuse to leave the studio to them three weeks ago when Saul was sick. What other way to give Random what he needed so he would keep his trap shut about Emilio and me?

All this thinking was giving me a headache, so I turned away from their sleeping bodies and settled in for a couple more hours of sleep. It was just five in the morning, and I wasn’t planning on getting out of bed any time soon.

I sat up remembering something which had slipped my mind. My period was late. Or was it? I tried my hardest to remember when I’d had my last one, but my memory failed miserably. I sighed as I rubbed my face in frustration. I probably missed it due to stress. It happened before when I didn’t eat enough and was on days of drug highs that kept me going on and on without much thought for sleep or food. That was probably it. Not the drug part, but the exhaustive pace I’d kept was messing with me for sure. Not to forget the food poisoning I had at this time.

I settled back into bed for a nice long nap, hoping to shove any more crazy thoughts out of my head.

My stomach had other ideas…

Chapter Forty

Audrey

The day was
dragging, but I didn’t mind. I sat outside in the balcony of the motel they’d stuffed us in for our days off. Everyone was tired, me included. I sipped the hot tea I’d made after heading to the bathroom. Liv was passed out cold on her bed, and so was Saul on the other bed where I’d slept the night. His gorgeous figure was tangled in the sheets, but I knew every inch of that body. Luckily Liv hadn’t come to the hotel until late last night complaining about eating something bad. That had given us ample time to break in the hotel bed all by ourselves.

The thought of making love to Saul brought my mind around to Random. I’d never cheated on anyone before. I wasn’t like Liv, who had a rotating door of men coming and going at her whim. Even being with Jonas hadn’t kept her from going with Emilio. I shook my head at the thought of my sister. Still, after being with Random, my flesh had ached to feel him again. Even while with Saul, I couldn’t keep my thoughts from floating away to the other man.

I should’ve felt bad, guilty that I’d betrayed Saul. But I was too tired to feel bad right now. Maybe it was nothing to get all hung up about. Maybe the thing with Random was just that, a one-time thing. I didn’t know what I would do when I saw him again, but maybe it wouldn’t be anything, and things would just go on. Maybe it would heat up again, just like that day. I just couldn’t tell yet. I loved Saul, and I liked Random a lot. Things had gotten so complicated, but I didn’t want to think about it at all. So I let the days go on, as if nothing happened.

Maybe I was wrong to do so. Obviously, my coping skills had rusted out. I was more mature than this. I should’ve dealt with it as soon as possible, but I couldn’t. Or I wouldn’t.

My stomach flipped, so I set the tea down on the table. Maybe whatever was ailing Liv had gotten to me too. I made my way to the bathroom and felt my stomach knot up even more. I made it to the toilet just in time to spill my tea right back out. Sliding to the floor, I felt absolutely awful. Whatever we’d eaten to get us sick was definitely a doozy. We’d be sick in bed together then. No big deal. I was done.

Leaving the bathroom after cleaning up, I slid back into bed with Saul, who barely moved from his spot as I crawled under the covers once more. I watched Liv sleeping peacefully as she dreamed whatever it was that crawled across her mind during these hours. I hoped it was a pleasant one and smiled at my little sister. Though things had been difficult lately, it’d all been well worth it.

I wouldn’t trade it in for the world, whatever dire consequences may come…

Chapter Forty-One

Liv

Heat rolled of
his skin, along with a sleek build of sweat from our lovemaking. He was glorious to look at, and I made sure my fingers explored every centimeter of hot flesh I could touch whenever he was around. There was something edgy and fierce about Emilio Esperanza. Something I could never tire of. He was my muse—my heart—and he haunted every synapse of my brain without even trying.

It wasn’t hard to look at the one person who could be my downfall…my demise…and feel nothing but a passionate need.

“When can you come back?” I didn’t want to hear another reason why he had to go. It was always something. I wasn’t even certain Emilio would always come back anymore. Maybe I was just being hormonal, but the tears were welling up in my eyes as I stared at him.

Breathing in and out, I tried to calm my insecurities. I didn’t want to break down in front of him.

Fuck.

“I don’t know. Jonas is sending me back to Sonora. I have to get things settled there before I can come back.” His tiger tan colored eyes flashed at me, so full of things unsaid. They had me wondering just what he was hiding. I wasn’t a jealous girl, but I could tell when I was being lied to.

“What sort of things?” I toyed with the end of the blanket, now fraying.

Emilio frowned and visibly sighed. His tight expression told me he was frustrated with the constant twenty questions I threw his way, but I couldn’t help myself. I needed him here, with me, for now and always.

“Cartel business, Preciosa. There is no other kind.”

I nodded, wishing it
was
some other kind and that I could reach out and cut the tie that binds him to his family’s business. I let my eyes drift down to the guitar I’d just subconsciously grabbed when he’d let me go. Strumming quietly calmed me when I felt like screaming. He knew this meant I’d retreated into my tumultuous thoughts, afraid to let my emotions take me over like they’d done so many times before. It was my way of coping with things I couldn’t deal with. He knew what my strumming meant and turned away instead of stopping to listen to the melody emanating from my fingers.

It hurt when he looked away, more than I ever thought possible.

Yet, if he knew me so well, why did he have to leave? Didn’t he know the only cure for my insanity was him? Why did it feel like he was cutting me loose every time he walked through that door, forgotten the second he entered his “other” life?

“Look, I have to go now. I’ll call you the usual time next week? FaceTime or Skype?”

“I’ll have both on me,” I said, averting my gaze. If I looked at him now, I’d break down and turn into a sniveling mess. I wanted to avoid that at all costs.

“Alright. See you then, Liv.” He flattened his shirt and approached the door of the bedroom. He didn’t turn around, just went through it, shutting the door with a heartbreaking click. How well we knew this dance. Don’t say goodbye. Don’t kiss me goodbye. I couldn’t take it. We both knew this and didn’t even have to voice it anymore.

Just like that, he was gone. If only the tears would disappear with him.

***

All I had to look forward to were his calls. This tiny event each week was the only thread I could catch of his essence, and I needed this hit like a vital drug.

“How’s Sonora?”

He moved to adjust on an old antique chair he’d chosen to sit at this session. All I could see behind him were wood shelves lined with food—cans, bags of rice, beans, bottled fruits and flour. It looked well stocked, but didn’t give me any clue to what was going on around him or the reason he had to stay there any longer.

“Business as usual.” He stared back at me, studying me through the pixels of the screen. If only I could reach out and caress his face through it.

I heard screaming from somewhere, but it was distant, like children squealing as they played off screen. I swallowed hard, my mouth dry as I peeked around the internet café, watching everyone to make sure I wasn’t being spied on. I knew the rules. Our secret had to stay that way, no matter how much I didn’t want it to, hence why I was at an internet café instead of chatting back at the hotel.

“When are you coming back?” The ever pressing question I failed to hold in.

He squirmed in his chair, appearing restless, tired with a tiny air of annoyance.

“I told you, I don’t know. I’ll let you know when it changes. Otherwise, I don’t know why you even bother to ask.” His accent grew stronger when he was down south, making him sound even more irritated than he appeared to be.

I tried to not let it upset me. I nervously reached up toward my ear and fiddled with the small earbud, like I was having a hard time deciphering what he was saying. I wasn’t. My nerves were shot, and I was as restless as he was.

“You been okay? You look worn out,” I asked, leaning forward to get a better look at him.

He did the same whilst scratching the back of his head. Some of his longer locks swept into his eyes before he resumed his previous positon and shoved them back like a nuisance.

“I’m fine. It’s the ranch work that needs to be done, keeping me fit here and exhausted. Can’t sit for a moment and slack off. The handlers are brutal here. I have to participate in the daily chores of the ranch if I’m to keep the respect of my men. Things aren’t just given here. One must earn the respect, and I’d be looked down upon if I just sat around all day. Much unlike what most Americans believe.”

My blood ignited, and the slow burn that ached for me to give him a taste of my thoughts about his opinions on certain things remained stilted. I couldn’t yell at him here, not in public, though I was seething at his subjective opinion on Americans. I barely got to speak to him let alone ruin our relationship over his broody attitude. It was all fatigue induced. That had to be it.

“We’re still working on recording the second album, but this break has been really nice for all of us. It rains here a lot, and it’s quite cold. I never thought I’d hate the rain, but sometimes, I just want to see the sun so it can warm my frozen fingers.” I paused, noting his deepened golden brown tan as he listened. “You probably see more than enough sun down there. No vitamin D shortage, right?” I laughed, but it came out hollow, stunted.

He gave me a short nod and a miniscule smile. I could hear voices again through the earphones, interrupting our solace.

“Emilio, te necesitamos. Vamonos!” A woman’s voice echoed into the microphone, and Emilio waved them off. He looked more than annoyed. He looked downright angry.

“Ya voy. Ya te dije!” he snapped at the woman and whatever group accompanied her. Falling footsteps hurried out of the room, leaving Emilio huffing like a primed bull.

“Look, Liv. I got to go. Things need to be tended to here on the ranch as well as some other places here. I’ll call you next week, same time.”

“Emilio—wait—I…” But he’d closed the laptop and the line went dead. The screen went dark, Emilio long gone, but I was still there, staring at the dark square pop up window on the laptop as a single tear dropped down my cheek.

It was such a short call. They’d been getting shorter every week. Every single time, I had managed to get to some sort of café where the internet was least likely to be monitored by Jonas to call Emilio via my laptop or smartphone. Every week, he had some sort of excuse to cut our conversation short.

He was slipping away, faster and faster than fine sand through my fingers. Still, I wanted to hold on even more. This fatal combination was not good for either of us, and I was afraid that one week, he wouldn’t answer my call at all.

What then? What happened if Emilio never came back?

“Time to go.”

Lonzo stood before me, observing my teary eyes before glancing at the darkened screen. He reached over, pulled out a napkin and handed it to me, then gently shut my laptop. Lifting it up, he propped it to his side. “Come on, Liv. Time to go back to the real world.”

I didn’t reply, but accepted his free hand to rise to my feet. I followed behind him, leaving the bustle of the café behind as we spilled out into the busy Los Angeles streets. He led me to his SUV, the windows darkened so much, no one could see any of its insides. Slipping into the passenger side, he handed over my laptop and swiftly shut the door behind him before heading around to the driver’s seat. He was still employed as security detail and was stuck with me most of the time since Audrey didn’t go out much but I did.

Lonzo knew what was going on. His best friend was Emilio, and if he knew anything else about Emilio’s absence, he wasn’t telling me shit.

It was nice to know I couldn’t count on him with matters of Emilio.

“Where to, Miss Westing?” He was all business, a cold exterior that made me wonder if there was anything underneath it. Most likely not. He was as blank as a white sheet of paper and hard as rock. Just as well. I didn’t need any more complications.

“The hotel is fine,” I mumbled weakly, still stuck in my own grief. Glancing over to him, I saw him give me a tiny nod before he started the car. When he looked away, it dawned on me how much I took him for granted. I never thanked him or asked him to take me anywhere politely. My manners had disappeared, and I didn’t like who I’d become the last few months.

I reached over and placed a hand on his arm. “And Lonzo?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you for helping me.”

He flicked his eyes toward my hand, his dark brown eyes narrowing pensively, but he didn’t shake it off. Instead, he gave me another quick, curt nod before facing forward and maneuvering the SUV onto the road.

“You’re welcome, Miss Westing.”

I let go of him and turned to stare out the window as the rain began to pour down. The sky had been holding it in as thick, grey clouds above our heads for days, and it chose on and off to eventually dump its buckets of cold, icy rain down onto the streets of the city. I didn’t mind at this moment. It matched my glum mood.

As we pulled up to the hotel, the bellhop headed over to cover me with an umbrella. I loved being catered to like this and threw him a tiny smile. His white teeth flashed as he grinned back. Before I stepped away, I turned back to grab my laptop.

“Another thing, Miss Westing?” Lonzo leaned to the side, digging his dark, cold eyes into me.

“Yes, Lonzo?” My fingers curled around the computer as I waited.

“You need to get away from them. Both of them. Do what you have to, but neither of them are who you think they are. Don’t drag this on. It will only get worse.”

I swallowed down the dry knot forming in my throat as I threw back a shaky nod, scooping up my laptop. I stared into the impenetrable wall of his eyes, finding no sympathy. Stepping away, I let the bellhop shut the door behind me before swinging around and marching up the steps into the hotel.

Lonzo’s scathing words of warning stung in the back of my mind more than anything. They twisted and turned in my head as I swept past families and an odd couple or two crowded at the front desk waiting to check in, some with clothes soaked to their britches. No one gave me a second’s notice. Their eyes looked right through me as I passed them by—an afterthought, no more than a stranger rushing by.

Jumping into an empty elevator, I held my breath until the doors slid closed and I could finally let the tears burning holes in my eye sockets pour out and spill a river down my flushed cheeks.

I was so fucked and I knew it. I’d been screwed for a long time coming.