The Falling Kind (9 page)

              “I meant what I said this morning,” he said softly, staring at my face. “Everything you said last night, I understand it’s a big thing for you. But it doesn’t change anything. You really thought I wouldn’t show up after that?”

              “I don’t know,” I answered quietly. I understood what he was saying – maybe it wasn’t something big to
him
. But I felt like it was a huge turning point for me, to finally be able to share that with someone else. I hadn’t uttered a word about the entire situation since shortly after the incident happened. I had to admit, it felt good to get out, but I also felt crazy for saying it out loud. It felt better as a secret. Now that it was out in the open, I felt like just another crazy girl with some sort of complication.

              “You’re looking at me differently,” he said with a shy smirk.

              “I am?” I blushed. I wasn’t sure what he meant by it.

              “You are. But I’m not looking at you any differently. I just want you to know that.”

              Butterflies swirled all around my insides and I immediately took a bite of my sandwich to hide my grin. I didn’t want his words to rattle me in such an obvious way.

              “We should check the turtles again,” I chimed in, changing the subject.

              “Yeah, the turtles,” he repeated with a smile, likely figuring out exactly what I was doing. Serious conversations often made me panic. I think he was picking up on that. “The ever-important turtles.” He winked at me and then turned to walk over to the rocks.

              I smiled as I watched him, noticing his muscles tighten as he bent forward.
Oh what I would give to –

             
“Syd, get up!” he said urgently. “Come here!”

              I leapt up from the sheet, quickly setting the rest of my sandwich down. I hurried over to where he was standing, and sure enough, there was movement. The tiniest turtles I’d ever laid eyes on climbed out of their shells and quickly made their way to the water. I squealed as they hurried past us, completely in awe of what I was watching. Nature amazed me, the way these tiny creatures knew exactly what to do at the right moment. Then you had advanced humans like me, who couldn’t figure out which direction to go at any given moment.

              “They’re so cute!” I exclaimed, watching them slide through the sand.

              “Oh no, this is how it starts, right? You want to take them all home with you, don’t you?” he chuckled.

              “Only if there’s an abandoned one left over,” I joked back. He leaned over, wrapping a strong arm around my waist. His eyes burned through me and I wanted so much more from him than a beach picnic.

              “So then you’ll keep me?” he said quietly. I’m sure he meant it to be playful or sarcastic, but there seemed to be more to it in his voice. He
was
abandoned. I was so thankful for Harvey in that moment, a man I didn’t even know. For him to look at an abandoned boy and decide he was worth keeping – that was something really beautiful.    

              “You don’t have to decide now, but think about it,” he teased, breaking up my thoughts. He slowly leaned in and his lips met mine. They were warm and sweet and inviting. Any light left over from the setting sun was completely gone now, and the night sky enveloped us. He pulled me in even closer and kissed me hungrily. Whatever I was running from before this moment, it seemed so distant now.

              “I’m willing to give it strong consideration,” I said breathily as he slowly pulled away from me. He stared into my eyes, probably trying to read my thoughts.

              “I’m not trying to pressure you into anything,” he said sweetly. “As long as you agree to keep hanging out with me, I can live with that.” He flashed me such a sexy grin that I couldn’t imagine a moment I
didn’t
want to spend with him.

              “It’s such a shame you have a poker game to get to,” I said suggestively. I hated that he had somewhere to be. I wasn’t ready for the night to end any time soon.

              “Who says I have to go?” he replied with a smirk and a raised brow. “I’ve cancelled for far less.” He leaned in again and kissed me, slowly at first, then with more intensity. Something about that moment, with our bodies pressed together and our feet in the sand, it felt like the epitome of summer.

              Cole’s phone rang loudly, but he didn’t loosen his arm around me. I felt his lips curl up into a smile as he tried swatting his pants to get the sound to stop.

              “I’m so sorry,” he whispered in between kisses, “I can’t get it to shut off.” The sound finally stopped and he brought his hands up to my face, kissing me again. Seconds later, the ringing phone sounded again. “I’m gonna throw it in the lake,” he teased, pulling away from me this time to get it out of his jeans.

              “Sounds like someone is trying to find you,” I replied, watching him fumble for his phone. His face had such a jovial expression – until he saw the screen.

              “Shit,” he muttered, looking immediately frustrated. “I have to get you home.”

              “Is it my father?” I teased, still trying to keep the mood light.

              “Hello?” he answered sternly, completely changing his tone from seconds earlier. “Yeah. Okay. I can be there in less than ten minutes.” He paused. “I know, but I have to make a stop, less than ten.”

              He hung up the phone, looking irritated. “I have to take you home,” he repeated abruptly, turning towards our picnic spot. In one swift motion he gathered up the sheet in his arms, shoving the entire thing, food and all, back into the bag.

              “Where do you have to go? I could come with you?” I offered, studying his face. Realistically speaking, it would definitely save him some time if he was in a hurry so he wouldn’t have to take me back home. Not to mention I wasn’t ready to leave him for the night.

              “I can’t,” he said quietly, grabbing my hand to lead me back across the street to his truck. “I’m sorry, I just can’t.”

              He didn’t elaborate, and his response felt cold. We walked back to the truck and he didn’t even open my door. He just threw the bag in the back of the truck and quickly climbed in. I did as well.

              We drove back to my condo in silence, which strangely echoed loudly in my head somehow. I wanted to know so badly why he was shutting me out, but I felt too uncomfortable to ask in that moment. He clearly wasn’t talking for a reason.

              We pulled up to my door and he didn’t shut off the engine.

              “Will I still see you tomorrow night for the bonfire, or…” I said hesitantly, not finishing my sentence.

              “Yes,” he replied, finally breaking his serious expression with a half smile. “I’m sorry for all of this.”

              “Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” I didn’t want to push him, but I wanted to let him know that I genuinely cared.

              “It’s probably better if you don’t know,” he said quietly, leaning over and kissing my cheek. “I’ll call you tomorrow?”

              “Sure,” I shrugged, unsure how to break him down to get him to open up to me. “If you want.”

              “Syd, this had nothing to do with you. This doesn’t change our plans or anything,” he said a little defensively. “You don’t want to know about the kind of stuff I deal with.”

              “You’re wrong,” I replied softly. “I do. If you think my secrets aren’t so bad that they’ll change your opinion of me, why do you think it’s different for you?”

              He finally made eye contact with me, staring at me with a deep, soulful expression.

              “Because my secrets are worse,” he whispered.

CHAPTER 8

              I had a restless night of sleep. There were moments where I stared at the ceiling trying to eradicate Cole completely from my brain. I barely knew him, nothing personal or intimate anyway – that was his doing – so it would sure be a hell of a lot easier to walk away from him now.

              But then I had moments where I would stare at my phone as the minutes passed, hoping he would call and win me back over with his soothing, charming voice. I felt so comfortable around him, in a very short amount of time – that never happened to me. It was easy for me to stay guarded and uninterested when other guys approached me, but with Cole, it was obvious he was breaking my guard down easily.
Probably because of those arms.
Thoughts like those weren’t helping me sleep either.

              I was already stirring when my alarm went off at five. At least I would have Sam with me at the clinic today – that was enough to get me out of bed.

              Sure enough we both arrived at the clinic a few minutes before six. I felt like we had so much to catch up on, though barely any time had passed. I wanted to call her last night, but I hoped to hear from Cole first so I would be less agitated by the whole thing, but that never happened.

              As we put our stuff away in the break room, I filled Sam in on the last two nights. She seemed excited when I told her about our kiss on the beach after the turtles, but she agreed with me that everything after that was a disappointment.

              “So what do you think it was? Why do you think he left? You must at least have some assumptions,” Sam mused.

              “It could be anything,” I shrugged. “I don’t even know what the guy does for a living.”

              “Do you think it’s something as bad as he led on?” she asked skeptically.

              “Probably,” I admitted. “I think he definitely has something shady going on.” I hated the reality of that, but it had to be true. He was honest with me about his upbringing – that was personal. But everything else he ever said was cryptic. I wondered if he was right – maybe it was better if I didn’t know too much.

              Our workday was a lot more fun and laid back than I expected it to be. Dr. Nikki always kept the surgeries light on Friday, which we all appreciated. The bad news, however, came towards the end of my shift.

              “Dexter officially has a forever home,” Dr. Nikki said excitedly. “They can’t make it in today before closing though, so they’ll be in Monday to pick him up. Your house will finally get a whole lot quieter.”

              “I haven’t minded it at all,” I stated honestly. I was actually going to miss his company, he was so much fun to play with. The squeals he let out before mealtimes or when he wanted attention didn’t really phase me. I strangely liked the sound.

              “Well give him a lot of love over the weekend,” she continued, “and you can just bring him in with you Monday morning. I’ll do one last checkup before he heads out.”

              I felt a small knot in my stomach. It happened every time I had to give one of the animals up. I knew from the beginning that my time with them was just temporary, but it still affected me every time they left. I was always saddened by the thought of never seeing them again, but also nervous they
would
return if someone else gave up on them. That was the ultimate heartbreak for me.

              My phone rang, distracting me from the news about Dexter.

              “Three minutes,” I said quickly towards Sam so she would cover for me while I headed out the back door for some privacy. My stomach flipped when I saw Cole’s name on the screen.

              “Hello?” I answered casually.

              “Am I bothering you at work or are you off yet?” he asked politely.

              “I’m done in about a half hour,” I explained, not saying any more. I wanted him to lead the conversation. I wasn’t sure what I even wanted from him anymore.

              “Do you want me to call you back?”

              “No, I can talk. It’s pretty slow this afternoon,” I confessed.

              “First of all, I obviously owe you an apology. I am so sorry about last night,” he explained in a sincere voice. “Harvey got some pretty serious threats last night, and we had a lot of stuff to move from the warehouse. I’d never heard him panic like that, so I knew it was serious. I was a little rattled and I didn’t handle that well at all. I’ve been thinking about it all day long.”

              “I think this is where I pretend that I haven’t given it any thought at all,” I replied, feeling it impossible to be mad at him for it after his heartfelt words.

              “Look, it was a douche move. I know that,” he sighed. “I know I need to tell you more about it… About me… Everything.” He fell quiet. “I already lied to you once.”

             
Maybe this wasn’t starting off as well as I thought.

              “Do you remember the other night when you asked me if I was scared of anything?” he questioned with some hesitation in his voice.

              “Yes,” I replied softly. “And in your best macho voice you said nothing. You have no fears whatsoever.”

              “I knew that was a lie as soon as I said it,” he admitted. “After meeting you, I feel like now I’m scared of everything.”

              “What do you mean?” I asked with genuine curiosity.

              “I don’t know, it’s everything,” he reiterated, as if I knew what that meant. “I know I’ll lose you if I’m
not
honest with you. You deserve that from me. But I know I’ll lose you if I
am
.” There was a pause. “I mean I know you’re not even mine to lose,” he said, trying to clarify his thoughts. “Look, can we talk about this in person? I need to see you looking at me when I talk so I can gauge how stupid I sound.” I smiled, feeling relieved by whatever he was or wasn’t saying. He was at least trying.

              “What time are you picking me up?” I asked, trying to hide how anxious I was to see him.

              “The party doesn’t even start until nine, and I have to wrap up some stuff before then. So like eight forty-five?”

              It was later than I’d hoped, but I was thrilled about our plans nonetheless.

              “I’ll see you then,” I said casually. We hung up the phone and I instantly felt like I was going to burst with nervous excitement. Cole’s words gave me the impression that maybe he was finally ready to open up to me a little more. I was so anxious for that to happen. I headed back into the clinic and Sam could immediately tell by my expression that I was delirious.

              “So all is well?” she asked, cleaning up one of the exam rooms. I helped get all of the linens to the wash pile and we sanitized all of the equipment.

              “He’s picking me up a little before nine,” I shrugged. A huge smile spread across my face.

              “What’s happening tomorrow then? Are we still heading out on a boat with Luke?” she asked, her excitement matching mine.

              “Yeah, that hasn’t changed,” I stated. “I think we’re still planning to meet up around two. I’ll text you in the morning. In the meantime, do you want to catch some sun this afternoon?”

              “Yes,” she happily agreed as we finished up our shift. Like so many other afternoons, we headed back to my condo to change and then made our way down to the beach. It was another perfect summer day without a cloud in the sky. We joined in a volleyball game that was already going on and the beach seemed busier than usual, probably because it was a Friday afternoon  versus a regular weekday. We grabbed some grub from a nearby burger joint and finally separated around six.

              I took a full shower and took my time drying and curling my hair. Tonight felt big. I imagined I would be meeting some of his friends – maybe that alone would give me some more insight as to what Cole was all about. He’d already met Sam and Brandt, so I was excited to meet some of his friends as well. I hoped we would have some time to break away and talk too – I felt like we needed that at this point.

              I wasn’t exactly sure what to wear for the night. In college we’d had some late night beach parties, sure, but we were usually in our college sweatshirts, which didn’t seem appropriate for tonight. I chose another skirt like the one I wore last night, cotton and casual, with a fitted shirt and a light sweatshirt for the cool night air. I threw on some old sandals and was ready in plenty of time before Cole arrived.

              He picked me up in his truck again, which I was so thankful for. I wondered if I would ever feel comfortable enough to ride on his motorcycle. I was surprised he hadn’t asked me about it yet.

              As we walked to his truck he gently squeezed my hand and I swear I felt it through my entire body. He helped me into his vehicle and stopped before turning away, leaning in to kiss me. “No early night tonight,” he said quietly, studying my face. “Are you ready to see how the other half live?”

              “What does that mean?” I said with a slight laugh.

              “I imagine you’ve never been to a West Cove bonfire, right?” he said with a smirk as he climbed into the truck and started the engine. “Don’t expect anything fancy.”

              “It’s a beach with a fire pit and probably excessive alcohol, how different can it be from any other party? Maybe I’m not as sheltered as you think,” I said mockingly.

              “We’ll see about that,” he teased back. “Do you want to discuss safe words in case things get weird?”

              “Seriously?” I asked with a scrunched up face and a light laugh. “Where are you really taking me?
”
             

              “Just blink twice if you want me to throw you over my shoulder and carry you out of there,” he continued. We drove west towards the dive bar we were in the other night, but then continued even beyond that. As we headed down one of the side streets, a woman caught my eye.

              “Slow down, I think I know her,” I said, pointing to the woman up ahead.

              “I can’t imagine you know anyone around here,” he muttered, slowing his truck down a bit.

              “I do, Sam and I used to give her sandwiches after our shift at the clinic on the weekends,” I said, recognizing her from her worn yellow shoes. “She looks like she needs help.”

              “You know Crazy Jamie?” he replied in disbelief. “I hope you’re kidding.”

              “Maybe she needs a ride or something, she looks lost.”

              “For the record, you would never actually pick up a hitchhiker, right?” he asked, looking over at me.

              “Stop the truck,” I directed as we caught up to her.

              “What do you want to do?” he asked skeptically, pulling the truck over. The woman in the yellow shoes didn’t even seem to notice a vehicle had stopped behind her. She just kept slowly walking.

              “I don’t know, maybe she needs money or she’s hungry or something. She told me she has kids. Why would she be out this late?”

              “Syd, there are a lot of reasons people are out this late around here, but none of those reasons are usually good ones,” he said protectively. “I see her around here all the time. She’s bat shit crazy. I’ve never seen her with kids.”

              “Just give me a minute,” I said, reaching for the door handle.

              “Whoa, no,” he said, reaching over me. “Syd, I think this is a bad idea, I don’t want you getting out of the truck.”

              I studied his face as he said it. His tone was somewhat domineering, but I believed he had good intentions. “I haven’t seen her in a couple months, she looks so frail. I want to help her,” I said sincerely. I rummaged through my purse. “I have some money we can…”

              “Stay here,” he answered reluctantly, cutting me off. He climbed out of the truck, pushing the door lock behind him.

              I watched as he approached the woman, rolling down my window just slightly to catch the conversation.

              “Cr, uh, Jamie,” he said, catching himself on the nickname. “Your name is Jamie, right?”

              “Aren’t you one of them Harlow boys? I’m not looking for any trouble,” she sneered.

              “That’s not why I’m here,” he said softly. “My girl, she’s in the truck, she knows you. She said she used to give you food outside of the Mountain Ridge Vet Clinic?”

              “Ah, those girls,” Jamie said with a fondness in her voice, “let me guess, that pretty blonde one? I never did know her name…”

              “Yes, Sydney. She hasn’t seen you in awhile and just wanted me to check on you. Are you okay, do you need anything?” Cole asked her sincerely. He looked up at me in the truck and I smiled back at him.

              Her response was muffled, and I wasn’t sure what she was saying to him. He reached into his wallet and handed her some bills. She patted him on the arm and he walked back to the truck. I quickly hit the unlock button so he could climb back in.

              “What did I just do,” he groaned with a laugh.