The Fallout (17 page)

“Sorry,” I said. Then I spritzed her in the face. “Oops.”

She sputtered and blinked, then started to laugh. “Eli!” She widened her eyes at Eddy. “Are you going to let him get away with that?”

Eddy grabbed my arm and tried to twist the sprayer around at my face. I was laughing so hard I couldn’t hold on to it, and he turned it on, soaking my shirt. I yelled, “Mom! Help!”

“Eddy!” she said. “Give me the stupid thing.”

Eddy handed it to her.

“This is ridiculous.” Then, laughing, she took aim and let both of us have it full blast, as we yelled and tried to block the spray with our hands.

“Clea!” Gram stepped in the kitchen.

Mom stopped spraying and let her arm drop to her side.

“The floor is soaked.” Gram crossed her arms and glared at all of us.

Mom pointed at us. “They started it.”

Eddy and I looked at each other and grinned. “Right, Mom,” he said. “Gram? Did you see either of us with the sprayer?”

Gram didn’t look like she was going to believe anything that any of us had to say. “All I know is you’d better get this place dried before Els sees it.”

Mom laughed as she put the sprayer back in the sink. She told us, “Get some towels. I’ll help you clean up.”

I said, “That’s the least you can do since you started it.”

She rolled her eyes at me.

Eddy came back with a stack of towels and the three of us got down on our hands and knees and started wiping up the water. Eddy stopped and looked at me. “That was fun. Like old times.”

“Yeah.” I grinned, glad that he noticed I could still be fun.

When we’d finished, Eddy took the towels to the laundry room. Mom was making some tea, so I asked her, “Who was on the phone?”

She said, “I want to sell the Colorado house.”

Eddy had just returned. “Why?”

She didn’t look at either of us. “I don’t think we need all our properties. It’s too hard for all of us to go anywhere. I think we should sell and think about getting new ones that no one knows about.”

I guess I understood that logic. Fresh start and all. But still. “I’d like to see the Colorado house before you sell it. I mean, it’s been so long.”

Eddy said, “Me too.”

Mom said, “It’s so hard to travel with all the kids right now. I don’t think I could deal with it.”

Eddy looked at me. “What if just Eli and I went?”

Mom started to shake her head, but I said, “Yeah, why not? There’s staff there, right?” Staff paid nearly as well to be discreet as they were to be efficient caretakers.

Mom nodded.

“And we can take the jet,” added Eddy. “It’s not like we’re unsupervised at any point.”

Mom stopped wiping and sat back on her heels, looking at the two of us.

“Please, Mom? Since we’re not doing school yet?”

She scratched her head. “I don’t know. What if—”

“What if what?” asked Eddy. “No one can get into the place when we’re there.” He looked at me. “We’ll just go for a couple days, right?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Just to see the place again.”

Mom sighed. “I suppose.”

Eddy grinned.

I went upstairs to get out of my wet clothes and shower. As I headed toward my room, I walked past Lexie’s. And I heard her crying.

I knocked. “Lex?”

“Go away.” Her voice was muffled.

I twisted the knob and it turned, so I pushed open the door.

“I said go away!” Lexie was on her bed, clutching a pillow, her face and eyes red. “I don’t want to talk.”

I shut the door and stepped inside. “What’s wrong?”

She shook her head and dropped her face into her pillow, sobbing.

I went and sat beside her, then set my hand on her back. She knew it was a long shot, which might not work. Softly, I said, “Hey. We’ll find your birth parents some other way.”

She croaked out a no, then pointed at her desk.

I went and sat in her swivel chair. Her computer was on, and a balled-up piece of paper lay near the keyboard. I opened it and smoothed it out until I could read the letter from the state adoption offices. I scanned it until I found what I needed. Lexie’s birth mother’s first name and occupation.

The first name was Laudine. “That’s unique,” I said. “We should be able to find her. What does she—” My gaze went to the next line. The one where the occupation was listed. The line held one word:

Inmate.

CHAPTER
TWENTY-TWO

My intake of breath was so quick it almost sounded like a whistle. I whispered, “Seriously? She’s in jail?”

Lexie was still crying into her pillow, so I turned to the computer and jiggled the mouse enough to wake up the screen. The Washington State Department of Corrections website popped up, along with the heading
Find an Offender
. The search results consisted of a listing of prisoners with the last name of Cobb. There were a few men with that last name, but no women. And no one named Laudine.

Had she been released? Is that why Lexie was upset?

I clicked on the next window. It was a death notice. Three years before, Laudine Cobb had developed an infection and died in prison. I leaned back in the chair. But then I noticed several other windows open, so I clicked on one of them. Yahoo search engine, with the search results from the words
Washington
+ inmate+ Laudine.

Hundreds of entries came up. One that Lexie had clicked on was from the local NBC affiliate with the headline
CROWD ATTENDS LAUDINE COBB SENTENCING
. I scanned the news article from over eighteen years before.

“Convicted murderer Laudine Cobb, 29, was sentenced to life in prison plus 65 years for the murder of her two children.”

I gasped and looked over at Lexie. That was why she was upset. Not that Laudine Cobb was dead, but that she’d been … a murderer.

I kept reading.

One rainy night, Laudine Cobb called 911, said someone had broken into their house, shot her in the leg and shot her two children, both of whom died on the way to the hospital. Her tearful pleas from her hospital bed, to find whoever was responsible, made the national news. Prosecutors spent months checking her story and finally found enough evidence to convict her of the crime. She had shot herself in the leg to solidify her story. I checked the dates.

I said to Lexie, “Are you sure this is her? She was in prison when you were born.”

Lexie rolled off the bed, and came over to me. Her eyes and face were red, glistening with tears. There were other windows open and she clicked on one of them. The article, dated several months after the first, was short. The first line read: “Under heavy security, convicted murderer Laudine Cobb gave birth at St. John’s Hospital in Gig Harbor.”

I stopped reading and glanced back at the date. Lexie’s birthday.

Lexie said, “She was pregnant with me when she went in. Father unknown.”

I grasped her arm. “You don’t know this is her. You don’t know this is your birth mother.”

Lexie asked, “Did you see the photo yet?”

I shook my head.

She reached down and moved the mouse, clicking on another window. There was a posed photograph of a woman and two children. It was small, so I leaned in to look more closely.

The woman had bleached blond hair. She was pretty. Not as pretty as Lexie, but she looked a lot like her. Enough to be her mother?

Most definitely.

Lexie sighed. “Still think it’s a coincidence?” She sunk down onto the carpet beside the chair.

“This doesn’t mean anything.” I said.

She narrowed her eyes at me. “Doesn’t mean anything? My birth mother was a murderer! How does that not mean anything?”

“No one has to know,” I said. “No one
does
know.”

Her face crumpled and she started to cry again. “Did Mom and Dad know? Did they know they had a murderer’s baby?”

I slid off the chair and sat next to her on the floor, putting my arm around her shoulders. She leaned into me. “Did they know?”

I said, “You heard Mom go on and on about that night. About the next year, waiting until the adoption went through. They had a baby. An innocent baby.”

Lexie sat up. “What if I’m not innocent?” She pointed to the computer. “I looked it up. She was psychotic. She was narcissistic and histrionic. I looked those up. Psychopathy can be inherited.”

“No.” I shook my head. “You’re not any of those.”

With the back of a hand, she wiped tears off her face. “Really? She was egocentric. Antisocial. Manipulative. You don’t think I’m any of those?”

I swallowed, realizing I had to tread carefully so I didn’t make her more upset. “You can be those without being psychotic! Little kids can be manipulative, for God’s sake.”

“So you think I am those things.”

Oh crap
. “No, Lex. I didn’t—”

“Like mother, like daughter,” she said. “Isn’t that how it goes?”

I pointed down. “Your mother, your real mother, the mother that raised you, is sitting downstairs right now, taking care of her children. You should be glad to be like her.”

“She’s not my biological mom.”

“Lex! Your birth mother has had nothing to do with you your entire life. She has had no influence, no impact. All she did was give birth to you. And she’s gone. You are not her and you never will be.” I tightened my arm around her.

She breathed in and shuddered, then set her face against my chest. “I can’t, Eli.”

“Can’t what?” I asked.

She sighed, the sound shaky and ragged. “I can’t be from a monster. I just can’t.”

I didn’t know what else to say, so I just sat there while she cried.

Someone knocked on the door.

“Go away!” said Lexie.

The closed door muffled Eddy’s voice. “I’m looking for Eli.”

I told Lexie, “It’s fine.” Then I said more loudly, “Come in.”

Eddy walked in. As soon as he saw us, he frowned. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” snapped Lexie. “It’s none of your business.”

But Eddy didn’t retreat as I expected him to. He closed the door, then walked over to us and stood there. “What’s going on?”

Lexie looked at me and shook her head. But I wondered if this was the moment that I could stop being their intermediary, stop being the buffer between them. If Eddy was the person I thought he was, then he
was
capable of being a brother to Lexie, just as much as I was.

I would give him this one chance.

The letter from the state was sitting above me, on the desk. I reached up and grabbed it, then, praying I wasn’t making a huge mistake, I held it out to Eddy. “Lexie found her biological mother.”

CHAPTER
TWENTY-THREE

Eddy’s eyes narrowed, but before he said anything, he read the letter. His eyes widened. Lexie was staring him down and he met her gaze. “I’m sorry. I mean, I didn’t know how you wanted this to work out, but…” He shook the paper a little. “I doubt this was it.”

He sat down beside us and put a hand on Lexie’s arm. “I am sorry.”

Lexie asked, “You’re not gonna tell Mom?”

He shook his head.

“There’s more,” I said. I tilted my head toward the computer, but Eddy didn’t stand. Instead, he looked at Lexie. “Do you want me to know what it is?”

Lexie studied him for a moment. Maybe she was deciding if she could trust him. “Go ahead. It won’t change anything.”

Eddy sat in the office chair and started reading all the stuff I’d just read. He didn’t say anything, but after a bit, he blew out a breath loud enough that we could hear it. “Wow.” He twirled around to face us. “That’s crazy.”

Lexie shook her head. “No. She’s crazy. Was crazy. And now
I’m
crazy.”

“Lex.” I put an arm around her. “You’re wrong.” I looked up at Eddy.

Eddy said, “Are you serious? Other than some shared DNA, you have nothing in common with this woman. You are not her.”

Lexie sniffled. “How do I know that for sure?”

Eddy scratched his head. “Because you’re you. We’re your family, not her. The people downstairs are your family.” He pointed at the computer. “She had absolutely nothing to do with who you are.”

“But it’s obvious you hate who I am,” said Lexie.

Eddy’s mouth dropped open a little, and then closed. He looked as if he’d been caught at something. “No … no, that’s not it.”

“You always pick fights with me. It’s like you can’t stand to be in the same room with me.” Her gaze went from him back to me. “Before we went in the Compound, neither one of you could stand me.” She waggled a finger between me and her. “
We
only started getting along when we thought our lives depended on it.”

In a low voice I said, “Our lives did depend upon it.”

“Seriously?” She tilted her head at me. “So if that hadn’t happened, we—”

“No.” I held up a hand to get her to stop. “That’s not what I’m saying.” I sighed. “I’m glad you’re my sister, honestly.” I looked up at Eddy. “I just need the two of you to figure it out. Because I need to have both of you in my life. But more than that … I need you both to
want
to be there.” I didn’t look at Eddy when I said that, but he shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

None of us said anything for a few minutes, and then Eddy cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. Really. It’s been an adjustment having you all back.”

Lexie snorted. “Wow, excuse us for not being dead.”

Eddy covered his face with his hands and groaned. “God.” He dropped his hands. “I didn’t mean it like that. I spent so long thinking you were all gone forever. And it took a long time for me to figure out how to go on without all of you. A long time. And when it seemed like it would be okay, that I could go on … it all turned out to be a lie. And, except for Dad, you were all back and my life changed again.” Before we could say anything, he quickly added, “For the better. I have my family back.” He paused. “It’s just … taking me a little while to figure out my place again. I was the only one of us left. And I got used to that. And now … I find myself having to go back to being a younger brother and an older brother”—his eyes met mine—“and a twin.”

Lexie shrugged. “You’re probably looking in the wrong place for sympathy.”