Authors: Bobby Hutchinson
Her voice quavered and she looked so pathetic Kate's heart melted. What was there to say except yes? There'd been enough drama for one night, she decided. They could discuss this whole thing another time.
She poured her best bubble bath into the tub and washed Eliza's back. While the little girl got her pajamas on, Kate warmed a glass of milk for her
and made them each a grilled cheese sandwich. Neither of them mentioned the scene at the dance studio.
When Eliza was asleep at last in Kate's bed, her blankie against her cheek and her tattered old teddy tucked under one arm, Kate stood looking down at her. The blond spiky hair was still damp from the bath, and Eliza's skin looked translucent in the soft light. Her long lashes were dark shadows on her rosy cheeks. The last vestige of Kate's anger melted and overwhelming love filled her heart. She bent and pressed a kiss against Eliza's temple. She loved this child with all her heart. She often thought she'd give up her own life for the girl.
And then a traitorous little voice in her head whispered,
Aah, but isn't that exactly what you're doing?
Shocked, Kate tiptoed out of the bedroom and sank into one of her comfortable living room chairs. She'd built a trap for herself by having Scott and Eliza live here, in her house. How would she ever get free?
She was attracted to Tony. Hell, that was the understatement of the year. She wanted to get naked with him, she wanted to know what he looked like, last thing at night and first thing in the morning.
And how was she going to accomplish that with Eliza in her bed and Scott in her apartment? A wave of depression threatened to engulf her. It was hope
less. It would be years before Eliza was grown, and until then she was stuck with Scott.
C'mon, Lewis. You're good at solving problems. You do it all day at work.
So why, no matter how hard she tried, couldn't she see a clear solution to her own situation? She sat pondering over it, and jumped when the phone rang. It was Tony, it had to be.
“Kate?” Leslie's voice was thick and high, almost unrecognizable.
“What's the matter, Les?” Kate was instantly alert. She'd talked to Leslie twice on the weekend, and again this morning.
“It's Mom.” Leslie's voice broke. “She'sâshe's gone, Kate.”
For an instant, Kate didn't understand.
“Sheâshe died an hour ago.” Leslie broke down in great, gulping sobs. It took several moments before she regained enough control to tell Kate what had happened. “When I got home from work, her voice was slurred. She couldn't walk, her right side was paralyzed. Sheâshe was there alone. I thought she was getting betterâ¦today was the first time I didn't have my neighbor stay with her. I rushed her into Emerg and they did everything they could, but sheâshe's gone, Kate.”
While she was frantically trying to figure out who she could get to stay with Eliza, Kate heard Scott's car pull into the driveway.
“Les, where are you?”
“I'm at St. Joe's. The staff lounge in Emerg. I can't seem to think straight or figure out where to go or what to do.”
“Stay right where you are. I'll be there in fifteen minutes.”
Kate hung up and raced downstairs.
Scott was just coming in the basement door.
“Eliza's asleep in my bed, I have to go out.” She glared at him. “She was devastated that you didn't come to her recital.”
“I meant to. But then one of the guys dropped by, and it got too late.” He looked sheepish and hangdog.
“How can you live with yourself, letting her down like that? Eliza was really upset.”
“Well, you were there, weren't you? With your boyfriend,” he added with a sly grin. “I figured three's a crowd. And I didn't really promise Eliza I'd come, anyway, I just said maybe.”
He was an idiot. He didn't deserve a daughter like Eliza. Kate stared at him, her temper barely in check. She had to leave, she reminded herself. She had to be with Leslie. There was no point in getting into anything with Scott.
“I don't know what time I'll be back,” she snapped. “Make sure you set the alarm and get her up and ready for school in the morning.”
“I always do, don't I?”
“I seem to recall a lot of times when you've slept in, and I've driven her to school,” Kate reminded
him. He was infuriating. Without another word, she turned on her heel and went back upstairs, grabbed her handbag and raced out to her car.
Â
L
ESLIE LOOKED ON THE VERGE
of collapse. Kate put her arms around her friend and held her. Les was trembling, and her breathing was fast and shallow. She was obviously in shock.
Several nurses came in and began heating soup in the microwave and talking among themselves.
“Let's go up to my office,” Kate suggested. “I'll make some tea, and we can talk.” She took Leslie's arm, and the other woman followed her like an automaton, down the hall, into the elevator, upstairs.
Kate unlocked her office door and switched on the floor lamp.
“Sit down, Les. I'll plug the kettle in.”
“I want to kill him,” Leslie burst out. “I want to kill him with my bare hands.”
Puzzled, Kate turned to her. “Kill who, Les?”
“Dr. Hersh,” she spat out. “Remember, I told you that when I brought Mom in to Emerg, Hersh diagnosed labyrinthitis? She didn't have that at all. She had an aneurysm, I'd bet everything on it. There'll be anâ” her voice broke “âan autopsy, and it'll show that I'm right, I just know it. Hersh didn't even bother doing tests on her. I asked him to, and he brushed me off. I told you, remember?”
Kate did remember. She sat down and took Leslie's cold hand in hers, and her concern for her
friend grew. “You think if Hersh had done the tests, it might have made a difference?”
Leslie's head bobbed up and down in violent assent. “Of course it would have. She should have been admitted. They'd have found out what was really wrong. But he wouldn't. He brushed her off as just someâsome old Russian woman who wasn't worth taking time overâ” Her voice broke again, and it was some time before she could go on. “He didn't like me. I argued with him. And now because of
him,
my momâ” Her face crumpled. “Because of him my mom's
dead.
”
To Kate, the reasoning wasn't rational. But Kate wasn't feeling rational herself. Galina's sudden death was a shock.
Leslie laid her head on Kate's desk, her fists clenched. “I can't stand it, I can't. Mom was my best friend, what am I gonna do without her? She was always there for me. When I lost the baby she stayed with me day and night. When that jerk I was married to walked out, she brought me fl-flowers. She had a hot meal waiting when I got home, no matter what time it was.”
Kate didn't know what to say that would be comforting, so she simply listened as Leslie went on and on.
“Mom scrubbed offices at night to earn enough money so I could get my nursing degree. She was so proud when I graduated.” Leslie lifted her wrist, her face ravaged with grief. She tapped her nurse's
watch. “She bought me this and gave it to me that day. God only knows whatâwhat she did without to get it for me.” Leslie dissolved again into floods of tears, the words coming out in choking gasps.
“Sheâshe h-had one g-good dress and she wore it for years, just so I could have clo-clothes.”
Now Kate's own tears flowed freely. She'd loved Galina, and she'd miss the sweet old lady. And her heart ached for her friend. As she listened, she rubbed Leslie's back. There didn't seem to be much else she could do to help.
“I'llâI'll g-get him for this, so help me God, I will.”
It took Kate a moment to realize Leslie was once again talking about Dr. Hersh. The degree of anger in her voice was frightening.
“Sounds like you're really mad at him,” she whispered.
Raising her head, Leslie gave Kate a cold, hard stare. “Don't you
dare
use your anger techniques on me. Don't you
dare
try to get me to calm down about this. It won't work, Kate.” Her eyes filled again and she choked back another sob. “I
hate
him. And I'm gonna get him for this.” Her voice quavered. “For my mom's sake.” Sobs overcame her once more. “I'llâI'll do whatever it takesâ¦I'll go to a lawyer.”
Leslie's whole body was shaking. Kate put her arms around her and held her until Leslie regained some control. She blew her nose and sat back in
her chair. “You need to go home, Kate, it's really late. And I need to go home, too.”
Kate shook her head. “Les, you can't be alone tonight. Come home with me. Let me take care of you. Or let me come home with youâScott's with Eliza.”
But Leslie shook her head. “Thanks, but I really need to be by myself for a while. And there're people I need to callâold friends of Mom's who'll want to know, my dad's sisters. And there're arrangements to make for theâ” She swallowed and struggled for control. “For Mom's f-funeral. She told me how she wanted it to be.”
Although she was reluctant to leave her alone, Kate understood what Leslie was saying.
“Okay. But if it gets too much to handle, if you feel like you want someone to talk to, any hour, phone me. Promise?”
Leslie nodded, and Kate walked with her to the parking level. She gave Leslie a final, fierce hug, then made her way to her own car.
Driving home, Kate realized she was trembling. Sobs overwhelmed her when she thought of Galina. The old woman had been kind to her. She'd crocheted a throw for Kate's sofa and given her recipes for borscht and perogies.
When she got home, Kate's call display registered several calls from Tony. He hadn't left a message, however, and by now it was nearly midnight,
far too late to phone him. Kate's spirits sank even lower.
He must have wondered why she wasn't answering, she realized. She'd told him she had to stay with Eliza because no one was home. He couldn't possibly think that she'd been dishonest with him. Could he?
The whole evening had been jinxed, Kate thought with a sigh. She could only hope that tomorrow would be better.
For her, probably it would, Kate thought. But for Leslie it would be a long and difficult time before she had anything approaching a good day again. Kate's heart ached for her friend.
In spite of the lateness of the hour, she couldn't get to sleep when she finally slid into bed beside Eliza. She was anticipating a call from Leslie, she told herself.
But the truth was, ridiculous as it might be, she kept hoping Tony might phone again.
T
ONY PICKED UP THE PHONE
and then glanced at the clock. It was almost midnight, far too late to call Kate again. He felt uneasy and dissatisfied with the way the evening had gone. He'd been looking forward to having dinner with Kate and the two girls, and although he and McKensy had pretended it was fine eating by themselves, she, too, was disappointed.
She was also good and mad at Eliza. “She acted like a baby.”
“She wanted her daddy to be there, and he didn't come.”
“So?” Her expressive face was disdainful. “Lots of times I waited for my mom, and she didn't come. But I didn't have a screaming fit over it.”
She had when she was younger, Tony recalled. He didn't remind her, though. It hurt them both too much to recall those times.
“She felt let down, McKensy. People have different ways of showing their disappointment.”
“I used to like her, but now I don't.” McKensy's chin took on a stubborn set, and although he did his best to reason with her, it didn't have much
effect. Eliza had spoiled their special evening, and McKensy wasn't ready to forgive her for it.
And Tony, too, couldn't help but feel annoyed at the child, ridiculous as that was. The simple fact was he'd wanted Kate with him, he'd wanted their daughters to get along. He'd been shocked at the intensity of his reaction when she called the restaurant and said she couldn't come, and he was still feeling let down when he and McKensy got home.
Dorothy was watching television. Once McKensy went to bed, she'd switched off the sound and turned to him.
Tony waited, his stomach knotted. He knew by the expression on her face what was coming.
“I talked to Judy tonight. She said that she and Peter are fighting about this dinner you're having for
that man.
”
He'd wanted to get up and walk out of the room, but he stayed where he was and managed to say, “Oh, yeah? Why is that?”
“Peter thinks the children should meet their grandfather, but Judy says she's thought it over and she doesn't see why he's coming back now after all these years just to cause trouble.”
Tony wondered if that was indeed what Judy had said, or if his mother had twisted the message to suit herself. It wouldn't be the first time.
“I'd say that's something Judy and Peter need to work out on their own.” He'd clicked the television sound on again and pretended to be fascinated by
a news broadcast, but the loud sighs and meaningful glances from his mother finally got to him.
“I'm going to bed, Mom. Good night.”
“Tony, I know you don't want to listen to this, butâ”
“You're absolutely right, Ma. I don't want to listen.” He'd walked out of the room, ignoring her shocked exclamation and her voice calling his name.
Up in his room, he'd called Kate, but she didn't pick up. Was she there, just not wanting to talk to him? He'd called again, half an hour later, and there was still no reply. He began to wonder if perhaps there'd been something more seriously wrong with Eliza than a temper tantrum.
Or maybe there was more going on with Kate than she'd admitted to him. The thought upset him. He couldn't imagine what that might be, and whatever the answer, there didn't seem to be anything he could do about it tonight.
But after he'd showered and crawled into bed, he couldn't sleep. Where the hell was she?
He'd finally dug into his briefcase and brought out journals and brochures he hadn't had a chance to read. If anything would put him to sleep, he thought with a grimace, these suckers would.
He was flipping through a pamphlet listing upcoming conferences when he spotted a two-day session, Friday and Saturday, that weekend in Edmonton. The topic was Medical Error and the Need to
Inform. Considering his recent experience at St. Joe's, the subject matter was relevant. One of the speakers was a guy who'd gotten his MD and then gone on to become a lawyer.
McKensy was going to a weekend sleepover with her cousins, and if Tony stayed home he'd be alone with Dorothy. Without McKensy's presence, his mother would be certain to harangue him about the upcoming visit from Ford. That alone was incentive enough to register for the seminar.
Tony decided he'd do it first thing in the morning.
He closed his eyes and another idea sprang to mind.
Why not talk Kate into coming to the conference, too? No kids, no ex-husbands, no Dorothy, no St. Joe's. His imagination got the better of him, and he began to visualize adjoining hotel rooms, whirlpool baths, Kate in his arms. In his bed.
He'd better start with the conference and let fate do its thing. How early in the morning could he phone her and suggest it?
Â
“T
ONY
?” K
ATE CLEARED HER
croaky throat and tried to wake up. “Hi, Tony. What time is it?” She sat up and yawned, shoving her hair out of her eyes and squinting at the bedside clock.
“Seven-twenty.” He sounded contrite, and a bit stiff. “I figured you'd be up by now. Sorry for waking you.”
“I must have slept in.” She was such a liar. She never struggled out of bed before seven-thirty, but she felt like a slug saying so. She had her morning routine down to a fine art. “Thanks for the wakeup call,” she said, attempting to sound alert.
Eliza was like Kate, not a morning person. She was still sleeping soundly beside her, the quilt pulled right over her head.
“You called last night and I wasn't here.” Kate told him about Leslie's mother's death, adding that Scott had gotten home in time to baby-sit while she went to St. Joe's.
“That's rough. Did you know Leslie's mom?”
“Galina, yes.” Kate had to fight back tears. “She was a dear lady, I liked her a lot. She and Leslie were really close. Les is taking it hard.”
“Losing a parent has to be tough. And speaking of parenting, is Eliza okay this morning?”
Kate glanced at the lump under the covers. “She's fine. She's sleeping right here beside me. I feel bad about dinner, Tony, I really wanted to be there.”
His voice was relaxed now. “Me, too. But I take rain checks.”
“That's good news.” She smiled and snuggled down, drawing the duvet up to her shoulders. This was delicious, talking to him first thing in the morning. She could get used to this real fast.
“I'd take you out for dinner this coming weekend,” he was saying, “but I've decided on the spur
of the moment that I'm going to a conference in Edmonton. Medical Error and the Need to Inform. Sounds like something that would be valuable for the next time I'm a patient.”
“I saw the brochure.” She'd noted the conference because it was a subject that applied directly to her job.
“Why not register? I know it's short notice, but I'll bet they still have room for more participants. These things are never that well attended.”
Her first thought was of Leslie. Her friend needed her. But her imagination stirred at what it would be like to be in Edmonton with him. They could have dinner together with no time lines attached. They could talk without either of them having to rush away. There'd be a place to kiss where it wasn't pouring rain.
Regret filled her. There was Les, and there was also Eliza. Friday was their special evening togetherâgirls' night for shopping, an early movie and pizza. Before she could say anything to Tony, the bedroom door opened.
“Time to get up, honeybun,” Scott's loud voice boomed out.
“Daddy, Daddy. Morning, Daddy.” Eliza must have been awake all the time, because she popped out of the blankets now, arms held wide for Scott's hug. He lumbered over to the bed.
“I missed you last night, Daddy.”
“I missed you, too, baby.” Scott plopped his
wide bottom down on Kate's bed. Eliza extended one arm to include Kate in the hug. “Morning, Kate.” She made loud smacking noises as she kissed first one parent, then the other.
“I'm on the phone, Scott. Eliza, go with your daddy.”
“But I'm not awake yet.” She stretched and snuggled under the blankets.
Kate was horrified, knowing that Tony was hearing all this. There was strained silence on the other end of the telephone, and then he said, “Sounds like you're busy at the moment, Kate, I'll talk to you later.” The line went dead.
Kate scowled at her ex, wanting to throw the phone at him.
“Exactly what do you think you're doing, barging into my bedroom like this? You know the rules, my living space is off limits. And get off the bed.”
He gave a shrug, his face a mask of innocence. “You were the one who told me to get Eliza up for school this morning. You said to be sure and come and wake her because you weren't going to be home, remember?”
She did remember. Why, this one time, had he done what she'd asked? “I suppose you didn't think to look in the driveway and see if my car was here before you came barging into my room?”
“As a matter of fact, I didn't.”
But she knew by the studied innocence on his
face that he had. He was just trying, as usual, to test her patience.
“Eliza, go with your daddy this minute and get ready for school.”
The two of them left, and Kate slumped against the pillows, feeling furious and defeated. A glance at the clock indicated that she'd better get moving, and she dragged herself out of bed, her earlier exuberance gone.
When she finally staggered into the kitchen, Eliza came dancing in.
“Guess what, Kate?” Her eyes were glowing, and she couldn't stand still. She bounced from one foot to the other. “My daddy's taking me camping. Thursday's the end of school, so we're going Friday morning. We'll be gone till Sunday. Daddy's going to show me how to catch a fish.”
So much for girls' night out. Kate summoned up a smile and told Eliza she was happy for her, and then she dialed Leslie's number.
Her friend answered on the first ring. The funeral would be on Thursday, she announced in a lifeless voice. It would be a small, quiet ceremony followed by cremation, which Galina had requested.
“I'll arrange food for after the funeral,” Kate offered, “and I'll come over this afternoon. We can talk or go out for a walk or something.” She'd take a few hours off. Leslie shouldn't go through this alone.
Leslie's voice took on a hard edge. “That's not
necessary, Kate. I'm not having anyone over after the service. And I'm busy this afternoon.”
People dealt with grief in different ways, Kate reminded herself. “Then how about coming to dinner Saturday, Les? Eliza's going camping, we'd have a chance to talk.”
“I won't be here on the weekend,” Leslie said. “I'm going away for a few days. My aunt is coming and I'm taking her to Victoria.”
“Maybe that's a good idea.” And maybe not, Kate thought, trying desperately to figure out a way to reach her friend. “If anything happens and you change your mind, though, I'm free. We'll go wherever you want, my treat.”
“Thanks.” Leslie sounded distant and distracted. “I've got to hang up now. I'm waiting to hear from a lawyer. I'm going to make a formal complaint to the college about Hersh, and if this lawyer agrees, I'm also going to sue him in civil court.”
Kate's heart sank. She'd hoped that by this morning some of Leslie's anger might have given way to grief, but it was obvious that hadn't happened. What could she say to her friend? What could she do to help?
“How about talking to Hersh first, Les? I'm sure he'll feel terrible when he hears about your mom. Would it make you feel better if I arranged a meetingâ”
“No. I told you last night, don't even try that route with me, Kate.” Leslie's reaction was defi
nite, her voice suddenly cool, as if Kate had betrayed her. “I never want to lay eyes on that man again, unless it's in court. Look, I've got to go now. I've got a million things to do.” And for the second time that morning, the phone line went dead in Kate's ear before she could respond.