Authors: Mercedes Keyes,Lawrence James
I'm gone be? Don't wanna be nowhere, but here, wit
you.” She spoke up, looking into his eyes.
“You say such things, yet – you avoid my bed,
why?”
“If – if you – real y want me there, I come – if
you want me to.”
“But you don't want to, do you? I can see it that
you don't – do I not stir you at al ? What is it that you
see in me, that I repel you so? My white skin?”
“What others of my kind have done to you and
your kind? What can I possibly do, that you don't fear
me? Detest me?”
“Wha's – detest?” Her eyes squinted as she
tried to understand. Quinton stood thinking about it –
to give her a meaning she would ful y understand, as
it came to him, he sighed, “The feeling you felt, when
it came to him, he sighed, “The feeling you felt, when
in that ship and the rats bothered you, how you felt
about them.” He explained patiently.
Her eyes grew even more round, “Nooo, that
ain't how I feel 'bout you. I feel – I feel...” She
swal owed deep, took a deep breath and tried to
explain, “...when you talk t'me, I hear yo' voice, my
heart can't be stil , it beat so hard, 'cause you fil me
with, joy – I feel so glad to be yours – I feel so good –
you talk to me, you take care'o'me, so – I got t'take
care'o'you too.”
He stepped closer to her, both hands at her
soft cheeks, “Then why, won't you come to me?”
At first she shrugged and then, closing her
eyes, savoring him so near, she rubbed her cheeks
even more against his palms, “One day, when you
have yo'fil – you gone get rid'o'me. Let otha' men
have me, once you have yo'fil .”
“Ohhh Suga, my sweet – sweet gift – I wil
never, have my fil of you, please believe me.” He
spoke gently, a catch in his throat, because no one
suited him more than she did. Because of her he
was able to get so much more studying done, he
seemed to focus better, was more driven, was not
so bogged down with worries over things he should
get to, but made those things wait. Now, with Suga
around, al things were as if they took care of
themselves, even though, he knew, she did al those
things. In such a short time, she knew – she
anticipated his need for refreshment and was ready
with his preferred brew – he was a tea drinker, and
she kept it ready for him, he'd only had to tel her
once how he liked it, and she had served it that way
ever since.
Not once, had he to worry over food, and yes –
she provided without him realizing how she'd done
so – because he'd slipped in his duties, neglecting
al because she saw to it. He had not taken her
shopping, made her familiar with the ways of getting
supplies from the town merchant, so yes – he
realized, what else could she have done, not to
disturb him? Had she been his wife, his white wife,
she would have had to disturb him because there
would be no food – but Suga had made do.
“Aaah Suga, this is my fault isn't it? Already,
I've taken your presence for granted, and – you have
done – what I forced you to do, provide for us.”
“No, you treat folks, they give, you bring'em
back, and I make do like that.”
He stepped away from her, turning for their
parlor taking hold of her hand to pul her along with
him. Once inside, he sat her in his chair, he took the
stool to gaze up at her, holding her hands.
“Suga, look at me, look right into my eyes.”
His eyes were dark blue, like the blue of the sky
deep into dusk before the dark of night; she could
look into those eyes forever.
“I want you to know, that I wil do better, I
promise you I wil do better. No more taking you for
granted. What are you feeding Moose, he's growing
with quite the speed.”
“He hunt wit me, at – night, while you sleepin'.”
She confessed.
“At night, Suga? You go off into the woods at
night?”
“Got to, I give him firs' catch, so he ful , then
bring back for you too, and me.”
He couldn't believe what he was hearing, but he
knew that it was true, days had gone by, he'd eaten
wel , felt great in fact and barely questioned where
the food was coming from – conveniently assuming
most had been from the cupboards where he'd
stored food stuff – figuring if they were out, she
would say so, and since she never murmured a
sound, not the tiniest complaint, he'd been able to
get back to his experiments, his studies, which in
truth is what he wanted, before being cal ed upon by
the town-folk.
“This cannot go on this way; I cannot have you –
out – as I saw you today, and most certainly, not in
the night.” Thunder rol ed, Quinton gazed at her, “You
are a lovely, exquisite creature, and I am blessed –
forgive me please – I have berated you, when it is I in
need of discipline. Do you, forgive me?”
Suga couldn't wrap her head around what he
was saying to her, it didn't make sense to her way of
thinking, “Can't forgive you fo’ somethin’ I can't see. I
done my bit, you do yours – that's al I know.”
“Tel me Suga, tel me what would you have me
do, and I wil do it.” He offered, his conscience riding
him as he looked back over the previous three and
half weeks, seeing his actions and neglect of her as
unforgiveable.
Her eyes looked off over his head, thinking
about his words, “I's gone be col' soon, we gots
t'bring al our meat in, what I hunt – we'ah be okay for
t'bring al our meat in, what I hunt – we'ah be okay for
winta' wit' what I got. If you want, I can bring it in
myself; me and Moose.”
“I won't hear of it, you lead me to it, and I wil
see that it is brought back to store. What else?”
“Hens is layin', again, i's gone be col' soon, we
gotta see ‘bout them so they be okay.”
Quinton nodded, “Whatever you wish me to do,
I'l do. And you, as you say, the climate is fil ed with
chil , it wil soon freeze – you wil need more clothing
for the winter, many more things than you have.”
“Got me three gowns now, three chemise, two
– uh, uh blooma's...” She blushed, looking away from
him bashful y.
Quinton rocked back on the stool laughing from
the gut, “Oh Suga, you bring light and laughter into
my dark world, for this true gift, I must have done
something right. Yet, I've neglected you, no more –
this I vow as a gentleman, no more. We have things
to do, as the day clears, the next three, I give solely
to you, unless of course there is a matter of urgency
that takes me from you, otherwise – my time has
come – to repay you.”
The very next day, before dawn as the rain
continued to drizzle, Quinton was wide awake - his
mind on many things from the night before, he
searched through al of his books, taking those he
would use in teaching Suga to read; she’d slept in
his bed the previous night, because he had insisted
upon it, refusing to take no for an answer. She would
be up soon, he could hear Moose excitedly moving
about, as if trying to wake her - no doubt he needed
to go out. Sure enough, the door opened and down
the stairs he barreled, his growth was startling, one
could guess his solid weight by the sound of his
movements – even though he was stil a young pup,
his size was showing what he would one day be. No
sooner had he reached the hal way when he stopped
by their front door to bark at it - aware of a presence.
Quinton and Suga barely said good morning to
each other before a banging started, Moose had
known. A young male came cal ing – beating upon
their door. Quinton had never seen him before; he
appeared to be a man in his mid-twenties. His wife
was now in labor and suffering terribly, according to
him, it was her first and the child was not coming -
she had been in labor al night.
Suga rushed to let Moose out, splashing her
face and rinsing her mouth out as she listened to the
men down the hal .
She was trying to keep up with what Quinton
was doing, rushing to gather al that he needed. After
cal ing Moose back in, putting him in the wood store,
Suga stopped Quinton, “I'ah help, if you wan' me to?”
Looking at her, something told him, take her.
Nervous and fearful, the young man had
confided that he and his wife were alone, strangers
to al as they were new to the area and just settling
in. “Yes, Suga - come along – please. Take my
cape, cover yourself with it, the season has grown
brisk.” Eager, Suga gathered what she had col ected
of her own herbs and remedies – and slipped her
feet into the moccasins she'd made for herself from
animal hides. Once more, Quinton felt his face burn,
he'd completely forgotten that she didn't have shoes
and once more, she never made a complaint.
They were soon off – al three in the carriage –
with Quinton driving it as fast as he could. When they
arrived, the laboring wife was screaming out in fear
as they rushed through the door. The husband,
Erwin, hurried to his wife's side behind the curtain in
their quaint dwel ing – it was rustic and showed they
hadn't been there long, but it was clean and warm.
“I'm here; I've brought help, the doctor! His
servant girl came – she says she can help you with
the pain.” He rambled off to his wife and then turned
to Suga, asking immediately, “Is it true, can you help
her not to hurt so much?” He pleaded, obviously very
much in love and frightened for her.
“Ain't nobody can make it not hurt, but I’ah help
to make it mo'easy.” Suga explained, taking over,
never looking Quinton's way after entering the home.
The wife was trying to relax – but she was afraid of
the next wave of contractions, they were growing
steadily stronger, giving her a sensation to push.
“Gone – move! Make sure we got lots of clean, hot
water to clean up wit' – gone!” Suga ordered, the shy
woman that Quinton knew was left behind in the face
of what had to be done.
She sat next to Erwin's wife, whose eyes were
intensely upon her, “It hurts so bad, I've never known
such agony, what am I doin' wrong?” She begged.
“You been pushin'?” Suga asked.
“I feel like I have to, to get it out.”
“Ain't too sho' it's ready to come out yet, gone
have to look and see – you gone lemme look?”
El en eagerly nodded, glad to have a woman
with her.
with her.
Outside of the curtain, Quinton stood
wondering should he step forward, and thought he
would ask, cal ing out, “Suga?!”
Of course being in the same room she heard,
“Yes sa’?”
Hearing her address him that way froze him,
then it occurred to him, they were before others, he
sighed in acceptance, “You gonna need me?”
“I'mo need me a bowl o'fire, string, need that
now.” She answered. Both men looked at each other
and then at the fire place roaring and crackling.
“Wel ?” Quinton posed the question to spur the
husband, Erwin, on. He rubbed his face – a nervous,
looking around the room. As an idea came to him,
he quickly took a baking pan and grabbed a smal
chip of burning wood – flames clinging and licking
the air; immediately finding his wife's store of wicks
he brought the items to Suga, “Here you go.”
“Put’em down, now gone!” She ordered him
away.
Taking out her pipe, she stuffed it with a strong
smel ing herb; lit it with the wick she’d used to pick
up the flame, puffed on it to get it going, and handed
it to El en.
“Smoke that, inhale al it, til i's gone an' ain't no
more.” El en looked at the pipe, then at Suga,
steeling herself, she took it, she hadn't a clue why –
but she was wil ing to do anything she was told not to
hurt so much, however the herb caused her to cough,
she looked up at Suga.
"Don't matta', it'ah do that, keep smokin' it."
Obediently, El en finished it, Suga emptied the pipe,
cleaned it out and set it back in her bag of tricks.
“How you feelin' now?” She asked El en.
“Ever so strange – something coming over
me.”
“Good, let it, hopin’ it get in ya' fo'that pain
come back. When it do, don't get scared, just let it.
You gots’ta’ride it like you on a big'o'mean bul – an’