The Fashionista Files (25 page)
CHAPTER 7
Cocktail Fodder:
What to Read, Watch, See, and Do
to Chic-up Your Schtick!
Now that you look like a fashionista and you talk like a fashionista (isn’t life swell?), it’s time to embrace the full lifestyle, which means spiffy invitations to major events, parties, dinners, dances, balls, galas, and charity benefits, and keeping up on hot new trends across the globe. (You’ll be able to say things like “Did you know that the return of pigtails as an acceptable hairstyle for adults was brought on by Tokyo Street fashion?”) Being a fashionista actually means being able to focus on things other than fashion. A healthy obsession with the work of architect Frank Gehry is a perfect example, as he is responsible for the whimsical cafeteria in the Condé Nast headquarters in Manhattan, the Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao, Spain, and the Walt Disney Concert Hall in Los Angeles. The occasional religious movement (Kabbalah, anyone?) and exotic travel destinations, whether you can afford to go there or not, are also hot topics.
Whether you’re at your glamorous best friend’s wedding or one of Puff Daddy’s OTT birthday extravaganzas, you will need to show people that you’ve got more in your head than just cotton (or clothes). Welcome to your crash course in fashionista literacy and traditions. That means films, magazines, books, music, and all sorts of dialogue-stimulating things to do and topics to discuss intelligently to a discerning circle of irreverent fashion-following friends and acquaintances.
The thing about fashionistas is that they appreciate fashion as something that’s more than just fabric you put on your body to look good. A true fashionista sees fashion as an art form that extends to an appreciation and reflection of high design, popular culture, society, political issues, architecture, ethnicity, and art, all of which conjure specific moods and emotions. Witness Yves Saint Laurent’s Mandarin smoking jackets, inspired by a trip to the Far East. Innovation can also be found in Helmut Lang’s forward-thinking trench coats, wherein loops were attached to the inner armholes so that the coat could be worn over the shoulder as well as in the traditional manner; that year he also showed jackets with puffed nylon built-in-neck-roll collars—perfect for the fashionista’s jet-set lifestyle, an inspired combination of form and function. Then there’s Nicholas Ghesquière at Balenciaga, who changed the silhouette by rediscovering the waist and giving women a new way to reimagine their bodies.
While sometimes designers can go too far beyond the acceptable line and into politically questionable taste (French designer Jean Paul Gaultier’s 1989 collection that recalled Nazi uniforms— models marched the runway in black combat boots, harnessed coats, felt helmets—and John Galliano’s 1997 show for Christian Dior that displayed garments made of deconstructed wire, newspaper tatters, and found objects, inspired by the homeless he used to spot on his morning jog come to mind), fashion at its best does not simply lie in the cut of the garment, but serves as an intelligent, savvy reflection of our times.
In the nineties, a new breed of boutiques began to sell everything from avant-garde designer wares to glossy books about Buddhism and Zen, as well as home accessories and compilation CDs from world-respected DJs; and host gallery-quality art exhibits.
There was a need for the kind of cross-cultural diversity that feeds hard-core shoppers, who care about trends and inspirations that transcend whatever the pant leg of the moment is.
You may be able to impress fellow fashionistas by your knowledge of which designer is now heading up which couture house, but to take your lifestyle one step further, you need to know your pop-culture references, your French techno from your deep house music, your Godard from your Truffaut, your Mies van der Rohe from your Richard Meier, and your Cabo from your Cuba.
THE FASHIONISTA FILM ARCHIVE
Fashionistas thrive on films that showcase fashion, or movies that are overdramatic and laughingly bad—as long as they have style. Below, the essential films with short capsule synopses. We point out the “fashion highlight moment” (FHM) and how to use them in conversation to earn “bonus convo points” (BCP) for each.
Classics from the Attic
Breakfast at Tiffany’s—
The end-all to fashionista films. A story of a small-town girl en route to big-city style and glamour, starring Audrey Hepburn, a goddess in classic trench coats, black cocktail dresses, and pigtails while it’s raining.
FHM: When Audrey is digging around the bottom of her bed, looking for her shoe, and cries “Alligator!” Also when she puts on the big black hat with the white scarf.
BCP: Read Truman Capote’s original novel, and bemoan the happy Hollywood ending of the movie. Tell your captivated audience that Capote had wanted Marilyn Monroe to play Holly Golightly. He saw the character as grittier, sexier, and more vulnerable.
My Fair Lady—
The original
Pretty Woman
guttersnipe-toglamorama transformation story.
FHM: The black-and-white checkerboard dresses during the Ascot race scene.
BCP:
My Fair Lady
is inspired by George Bernard Shaw’s play
Pygmalion,
which was in turn based on the Greek myth of . . . you guessed it, Pygmalion.
The Graduate—
Erotic story of a young, innocent college grad, played by Dustin Hoffman, who’s unsure of his life path, and in his attempt to find himself, he instead finds sensual sex lessons with an older woman named Mrs. Robinson, his mother’s friend. Then he falls for Mrs. Robinson’s lovely daughter.
FHM: The bride in her wedding dress on a bus to nowhere.
BCP: Katharine Ross also starred in another fashionista fave,
The Stepford Wives.
And anytime an older woman is with a younger man, you can refer to the seductress as Mrs. Robinson, making a clever allusion to the classic film.
Rear Window—
A psychological thriller about one man’s obsession with his neighbor, who he suspects is a murderer and whom he watches through his apartment’s rear window.
FHM: Two words: Grace Kelly. When the polished, cool beauty pulls a nightie out of her tiny Kelly bag—all she needs for the evening.
BCP: Jimmy Stewart was the only one of Grace Kelly’s costars whom she allegedly did
not
sleep with. And anytime you want to indulge your inner spy (like when the guy you’re dating suddenly turns to you and says, “I can’t tell you what I’m doing because I don’t want to put you or other people in danger”), you can say you’re not in the mood to star in your own Hitchcock drama.
Shanghai Express—
A dramatic love and war story that takes place on the Shanghai Express during the Civil War. Stars Marlene Dietrich.
FHM: Dietrich’s bold feather-embellished bolero jacket, fishnet veil, and sleek black leather gloves . . . for the office!
BCP: Marlene Dietrich is the most famous of the sapphic fashionistas. Yes, girls, she was a lipstick lesbian.
Rosemary’s Baby—
A dark, creepy, mysterious, otherworldly Roman Polanski–directed piece, starring Mia Farrow, about a young couple living in Manhattan. Rosemary’s husband makes a deal with the devil to get his acting career off the ground—and uses his wife as the pawn.
FHM: Mia’s perfect bone structure, those darling baby-doll dresses, and the first time she reveals her new pixie haircut while having a nervous breakdown. Manic chic!
BCP: During the film, Mia Farrow’s character loses it. Her psychotic episodes seem so real. And that is because they were. Those scenes were filmed during a difficult, tumultuously emotional time for her—when her real-life love, Frank Sinatra, dumped her. Also, he reportedly hated her haircut.
Butterfield 8—
A classic melodramatic love story, adapted for the big screen from John O’Hara’s novel about a call girl (Elizabeth Taylor) with a sketchy past (“I was the slut at all times,” she purrs) and a wealthy, unhappily married lawyer.
FHM: Elizabeth Taylor at home in lingerie and high heels, with a cocktail.
BCP: The film brought Elizabeth her first Oscar—and she didn’t even want to take the role in the first place, but had to in order to fulfill her contract with MGM. Her Oscar nod turned her into the first $1-million-per-picture actress, which was what she was paid for her next role as Cleopatra, which bombed.
The Mod Squad—
Three fabulously dressed and shagalicious people get in trouble with the cops, and to save their butts they go undercover to stop crime.
FHM: This is where Austin Powers got his inspiration. Space-age microdresses with opaque tights and all that was late-sixties cool.
BCP: Although the fashion is slammin’, it really wasn’t that great a film. And the Hollywood studios really shouldn’t have wasted their money to back the remake, which starred Claire Danes. It was more abominable than the first—and even the style department didn’t cut it.
Contemporary Flicks with Elaborate Wardrobes
Clueless—
A frothy coming-of-age tale of love and high school in Beverly Hills, starring a well-dressed Alicia Silverstone as a trendoid teen named Cher.
FHM: There are many: 1. Cher’s two-story automated closet and computer “matching” program. 2. When being held up at gunpoint and asked to lie on the ground, Cher cries, “You don’t understand. This is an Alaia. He’s, like, a totally important designer!” 3. When she’s going on a date in a tight white slip dress and her father yells, “Cher, what is that?” She says, “A dress.” Dad says, “Says who?” She whines, “Calvin Klein.”
BCP: The aforementioned Alaia dress was donated to one of those Hollywood-theme chain restaurants. The aforementioned white dress was actually a Vivienne Tam. You can also remark on Alicia’s heavy animal-rights activism and the fact that it’s the only thing she seems to talk about. Move on to character-assassinate Jennifer Love Hewitt— just for fun.
Unzipped—
Documentary on a season in the life of neurotic Jewish flaming fashionista designer Isaac Mizrahi.
FHM: The bandannas in his hair, the moment he confesses to his mother that he was obsessed with her daisy shoes when he was a little boy, and supermodel Linda Evangelista whining backstage about having to wear flats and then complaining, “My feet hurt and you don’t caaaare. . . .”
BCP: Astound everyone by telling them
Nanook of the
North,
the film on which Isaac Mizrahi based his collection, was not a real documentary, per se. Some scenes (like the one where the Eskimo family eats the seal raw) were deliberately staged.
Pulp Fiction—
Postmodern comic-book hipster fairy tale about drugs and violence.
FHM: Uma Thurman in a black wig doing “the Batman ”—the dance step that originated in 1966—with John Travolta. Also, her flat silver shoes.
BCP: Show them your “Bad Motherfucker” wallet.
Flashdance—
A rise-to-stardom tale of a hot steel-welding small-town girl who becomes a modern dancer . . . and the man who believed in her all along.
FHM: When Jennifer Beals rips off her tuxedo jacket and reveals nothing but a slinky halter top, a bow tie, and Playboy bunny–style cuff links, while she seductively sucks meat out of a lobster tail. Thought we’d say that sweatshirt, didn’t you?
BCP: The loft Jennifer Beals lives in was the inspiration for “shabby chic.”
Legally Blonde—
Elle Woods, a seemingly stupid blonde with a heart of gold, played by Reese Witherspoon, goes to Harvard Law School to get her man back . . . and finally discovers who she really is.
FHM: Elle and her Chihuahua, Brewster, in matching outfits; Elle and her marabou feather pen taking notes on a heart-shaped notebook the first day of class; Elle dressing as a Playboy bunny for what she thought was a costume party (and making the best of it when she realizes it was a joke to make her look stupid). Oh, we can go on.
BCP: The movie was based on Amanda Brown’s novel, which wasn’t published until two years
after
the movie was a blockbuster! Also, the film that established Reese as a bona fide $12-million-per-picture leading lady.
Down with Love—
An ironic love story/period piece starring Renée Zellweger as the blond bombshell who wreaks social havoc by publishing a culture-shocking book about how women don’t need love and can have sex like a man—with no emotional ties. Many twists and turns and hilarious moments ensue.
FHM: The entire duration of the film! It’s styled to perfection, from the set (Renée’s “adorable” pink palace of an apartment epitomizes midcentury modern design) to her ladylike dresses and matching coats, hats, and gloves.
BCP: It was a very underrated film that truly marked a significant time for women in society. It also pays homage to the romantic comedies that Rock Hudson made with Doris Day in the late 1950s and early 1960s
—Pillow Talk, Lover
Come Back,
and
Send Me No Flowers.
And that Ewan Mc-Gregor sure is yummy!
Foreign and Indies
Foreign and indie flicks are a favorite of fashionistas because they are usually shown in small, out-of-the-way art cinemas (or art houses, as they’re aptly called) in obscure neighborhoods and frequented by a similarly groovy, fashion-minded, pseudo-intellectual crowd.
The Umbrellas of Cherbourg—
Jacques Demy directs a twenty-year-old Catherine Deneuve in a sad-happy French musical.
FHM: When Catherine as Genevieve sings of her love for a lowly garage mechanic. (Mom was right—it’s just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as it is a poor man.)
BCP: Catherine Deneuve was a muse of Yves Saint Laurent and never missed one of his shows in twenty years.
Breathless
(
À Bout de Souffle
)—Jean-Paul Belmondo and Jean Seberg in the best nouvelle vague film of all time.
FHM: Jean-Paul’s black leather jacket. Jean Seberg’s nautical-striped boatneck shirt.
BCP: Tell everyone how you hated the Richard Gere version, which is a perfect segue for discussing how Travolta was a fool for not taking
American Gigolo
and how he hasn’t done a decent project since
Pulp Fiction.
Move on to bash Kevin Costner, who hasn’t had a decent picture since . . . who can remember?
Blowup—
Michelangelo Antonioni’s film of fashion and murder and the sexy David Hemmings as a camera-clicking lothario. Grainy, gritty, documentary-like production set in swinging London. Supermodel Veruschka plays herself.
FHM: Zipping through London in David Hemming’s Aston Martin.
BCP: It’s rumored that
Blowup
was based on the life of the late fashionista shutterbug Francesco Scavullo. Also, Vanessa Redgrave was scorchingly fierce. You can sound smart by talking about how doing a British film was a nice departure for the Italian filmmaker, who went on to do
Zabriskie
Point,
which featured a soundtrack from Pink Floyd.
La Dolce Vita—
Fellini’s tale of dissolution and despair centering on the world of a gossip columnist.
FHM: Anytime Anouk Aimée and Anita Ekberg appear in a scene.
BCP: Tell everyone you’re writing a modern-adaptation rock opera of
La Dolce Vita
based on the reporters from Page Six.
Party Girl—
Parker Posey as the early-nineties answer to Edie Sedgwick.
FHM: When she steals a Chanel suit at a party.
BCP: The film makes reference to the Greek myth of Sisyphus, which is such a postmodern and ironic story. Then you can say that it’s a shame that Parker Posey never gets to demonstrate her diversity as a performer. In every film she seems to play the same role, no matter if it’s a blockbuster like
You’ve Got Mail
or a small piece, like
Best in Show.
Then you can imitate Parker’s manic-bitch-cheerleader routine from
Dazed and Confused.
(“Fry like bacon, you freshman bitches!”)
Hedwig and the Angry Inch—
Rock opera about a transsexual who suffers from a botched sex-change operation and a broken heart.
FHM: Every scene! Denim hot pants, bustiers, stilettos, glitter lipstick and eyeshadow, and Farrah Fawcett hair that just won’t quit. Oh, and we love Hedwig’s red paint– splattered fur jacket and when he freaks out on his bandmate, who has the audacity to stupidly put a bra in the dryer.
BCP:
Hedwig
started as an act John Cameron Mitchell would perform at the notorious gay nightclub Squeezebox. He also wrote and directed the film. You can talk about the difficulties of being a cult indie artist and how it’s a shame that Mitchell’s work will never achieve the status it truly deserves.
The Pedro Almodóvar Oeuvre
Pedro Almodóvar is the much-celebrated, Academy Award–winning Spanish filmmaking genius, who writes, directs, produces, composes, and sometimes acts. His work, no matter how twisted, loopy, dark, perverse, and sensual, embodies all human emotions and issues everyone can relate to. And he portrays women in a beautiful, powerful light. They are all strong, multileveled, psychologically complicated, semitortured, and fighting some kind of demon and conflict, physically or mentally, that they inevitably surmount. He loves drag queens, gays, alcohol-infused moments of giddy delirium, deviance, flamboyance, and the dark underbelly of society, the mind, and sexuality. His film
All About My Mother
is what got Penélope Cruz the kind of attention that turned her into an international starlet. Plus, we love his big, crazy hair and wacky wardrobe. And he had Antonio Banderas playing gay men long before the actor mainstreamed himself by doing
Philadelphia
with Tom Hanks.
Rent his greatest hits:
Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!
Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown
High Heels
