The Fiery Angel (11 page)

I might say that I yielded to the temptation of a woman, as Samson to that of Delilah, or Hercules to that of Omphala, but, not wishing to lie, I must confess that two considerations quickly flashed through my mind. The first—that truly a sin committed for another weighs only half-weight on the scales of justice, and two—that perhaps I should be guilty of no real sin in my consent, for it was scarcely possible that Renata could really find means to confront me with the Devil. Thus I was not simply yielding to her tender insistence, but, none the less, like a cool-headed gambler placing a heavy stake, at last I answered Renata that I no longer had strength to refuse her prayers, and that for her happiness I was ready to sacrifice my life, both this and the life eternal. Renata, however, when I had pronounced this solemn oath, became deeply serious, and, suddenly kneeling before me, she humbly kissed my knees, so that my soul became prey both to confusion and shame, and I knew not what to do or what to say, and in truth desired to yield up for her both my life and my soul!

I wish to describe all that followed with especial care, for I shall have to speak of controversial matters, doubted by many in these times and not entirely comprehensible to me myself. To this day, though I have travelled far from that night, I cannot say with perfect confidence whether all that I experienced was a terrible truth, or a not less horrible nightmare, the creation of imagination, and whether I sinned before Christ in actual deed and word, or in thought only. Myself, however, I incline to the second opinion, though not to such an extent as not to seek shelter with God’s Mercy, which, being inexhaustible, alone can acquit me in case the horrors and blasphemies of that night prove not imaginary. So I shall refrain from attempting any decision, and will relate all that my memory preserves—exactly as if it actually occurred.

From the Wednesday morning, Renata began to prepare me for the task I had undertaken, gradually, as if by chance, mentioning one thing or another to acquaint me with the black substance of all I had to accomplish and as yet knew but vaguely. Not without trembling and revulsion did I learn that the road she had chosen for association with the Devil was a visit to the hideous dances of the Sabbath, where the Prince of Darkness appears to his faithful, and that I should have to utter words of blasphemy and perform shameful rites. But that temptation of curiosity, that Thomas Aquinas calls the fifth of the deadly sins, burned in me so furiously, ever increasing, that myself I questioned Renata about the minutest details of that which awaited me at the gathering, and my heart beat with the ecstasy of a boy who walks for the first time into the embraces of lust. I will add, moreover, that in such measure was I then blinded by my passion for Renata that, when startled by her knowledge in matters of witchcraft, I asked her suddenly whether her learning came from her own experience, and she answered me, No, but from the confession to her of an unfortunate woman, I scarcely doubted her denial and was still willing to believe in her purity.

In the evening all was ready and I even sought to hasten the time, rather than tarry. But Renata, on the contrary, was sad as Niobe, at times her eyes filled with tears, and more often than usual she coupled with my name the word ‘dearest.’ And when the hour of darkness came and I could commence my forbidden traffic, Renata escorted me to the door of our third, remote room, stood for a long time on its threshold without the heart to part from me, and at last said:

“Rupprecht, if there be in you but one trace of hesitation, abandon this undertaking: I renounce all my prayers and return to you all your oaths.”

But
ni Rey ni Roche
, as the Spaniards say, could stop me now, and I replied:

“I shall fulfil all that I have promised you, and I am happy that I perish for your sake. Trust me to be brave and to betray neither myself nor you. You are my love, my Renata!”

Then for the first time we approached our lips and kissed like lovers, and Renata said to me:

“Farewell, I shall go pray for you.”

I expressed doubt lest a prayer might not be harmful to such an undertaking, but Renata, sadly shaking her head, said:

“Never fear, for you will be far from hence. Only, beware of pronouncing holy names yourself. …”

Breaking off her speech, she shrank back suddenly; as she walked away, I followed her with my glance, but, when she had disappeared behind the door, I sensed in me that clarity of mind and resolution of will that I invariably feel in the hour of danger, especially before a decisive battle. Remembering the instructions of Renata, I shut the door and shot the bolt to, locking it, and carefully covered all the chinks, while the window was already curtained with blinds. Then, in the light of a lamp filled with fat, I opened the case with the ointment that Renata had given me and tried to determine its composition, but the greenish greasy mass did not betray its secret: there came from it only the pungent smell of herbs. Stripped naked, I lowered myself to the floor, on my spread cape, and began to rub this ointment firmly into my chest and in my temples, under my armpits and between my thighs, repeating several times the words: “
emen—hetan, emen—hetan
,” which mean “here—and there.”

The ointment slightly burned the flesh and my head began to turn from its odour, so that soon I scarcely was aware what I was doing, my arms hung limp, and my eyelids fell over my eyes. Then my heart began to beat with such strength it seemed as though, tied upon a string, it leapt away from my chest a whole elbow’s length, and this caused me pain. I was conscious of the fact that I lay upon the floor of our room, but, when I tried to raise myself up, I was already powerless to do so, and I thought: so all the tales of the Sabbath are babbling nonsense, and the much talked of miraculous ointment is only a sleeping draught—but at that very moment all went dark before me and I suddenly saw myself, or imagined myself, high above the earth, in the air, quite naked, astride as on horseback a woolly black goat.

At first my head was all fugged, but then I made an effort and entirely mastered my consciousness, for upon it alone could I rely as my guide and protector in the miraculous journey I was making. Having taken stock of the animal that bore me through the astral spheres, I saw that it was an ordinary he-goat, obviously of flesh and bone, with rather long and matted wool, and only when it turned its head towards me did I notice a devilish quality in its eyes. I did not then wonder how I had left my room, which had a fireplace, though of very narrow chimney, but later, however, it was explained to me that this circumstance alone cannot serve as proof of the imaginary nature of my journey, for the Devil is an
artifex mirabilis
and can expand and contract again the bricks of a stove with a speed invisible to the human eye. Similarly I did not think, during the flight itself, of the question what power could sustain above the earth matter so heavy as the he-goat with the weight of my body, but now I think it must have been that same infernal power that enabled Simon Magus to rise in the air, as witnesses Holy Scripture.

In any case, my hell-steed maintained itself very firmly in the streams of the atmosphere, and flew forward with such impetus that I had to cling with both hands to its thick hair to avoid falling, and the wind created by the terrific speed of its movement whistled past my ears and was painful to my eyes and chest. Having adjusted myself to the sensations of a man in flight, I began to look around me and down, and noticed that we were keeping well below the clouds, at about the height of small mountains, and I was able to make out various districts and villages as they followed one another below me like a geographical map. Of course I was quite unable to take any part in determining the choice of route, and obediently flew whither my he-goat hastened, but by the fact that we encountered no towns on our way, I concluded that we were not flying along the stream of the Rhine, but most likely towards the south-east, in the direction of Bavaria.

I suppose that the aerial journey lasted not less than half-an-hour, perhaps even longer, for I had time to get quite used to my position. At last there rose up before us out of the darkness a remote valley between two bare peaks, lit by a bluish-green light, and, as we approached it, more and more distinctly voices were heard, and the figures of various beings became visible bustling hither and thither in the valley, on the shores of a lake that shone like silver. My he-goat descended low, almost to the earth, and, riding me right up to the crowd, he suddenly tipped me off on to the ground, not from a great height, but yet so that I felt the hurt of the bump, and disappeared. Hardly had I had time to rise when I was surrounded by several frenzied women, as naked as I was myself, who lifted me up with shouts: “A new one, a Novice!”

I was dragged across the whole assembly, my eyes, blinded by the sudden light, at first distinguishing nothing but various grimacing jowls, until I reached the side, at the entrance to a wood, where, beneath the branches of an old beech-tree, loomed dark a group of beings, whom I took to be men. There the women who led me stopped, and I saw that there was Someone seated on a high wooden throne and surrounded by his suite, but in me there was no terror, and I was able to study his appearance rapidly and clearly. The Seated One was enormous in stature and made like a human being down to the waist, like a hairy he-goat below; his legs ended in hoofs, but his hands were like human hands, so was his face human, red-sunburnt, like an Apache, with large round eyes and a medium beard. He had the appearance of being not more than forty years old, and there, was in his expression something sad and rousing compassion, but this feeling disappeared as soon as one’s glance rose above his high forehead, to see, emerging distinctly from his curly black hair, three horns: the two smaller ones behind and the larger one in front, and round the horns was placed a crown, apparently of silver, that emitted a soft glow, like the light of the moon.

The naked witches placed me before the throne and exclaimed:

“Master Leonard! He is new!”

Then sounded a voice, hoarse and devoid of inflections as though he who spoke was not accustomed to pronouncing words, but strong and masterful, which addressed me, saying:

“Welcome, my son. But dost thou come to us of thine own free choice?”

I replied, by my own free choice, as I had been instructed to reply.

Then the same voice began to ask me further questions, of which I had been warned, but which I do not wish to repeat here, and thus, step by step, did I perform the whole blasphemous ritual of a black novitiate. Thus, first of all I pronounced a denunciation of the Lord God, of His Holy Mother the Virgin Mary, of all the Saints in Paradise, and of my faith in Christ, the Saviour of the World, and after that I gave Master Leonard the two convened kisses. For the first he benevolently gave me his hand, and as I touched it with my lips, I noticed one peculiarity: its digits, not excepting the thumb, were of equal length, crooked and clawed like those of a kite. For the second, rising, he turned his back upon me, so that above me rose his tail, long like that of an ass, and I, playing my rôle to the end, bent down and kissed his he-goat’s rump, black and emitting a nauseating odour, but yet strangely reminiscent of a human face.

And when I had performed this ritual, Master Leonard, still in the same unchanging voice, exclaimed:

“Rejoice, oh my beloved son, and accept my sign on thy body and bear it throughout the ages of ages to come, Amen!”

And, bending his head towards me, he touched my breast with the point of his larger horn, above the left nipple, so that I felt the pain of the prick and from under my skin oozed a drop of blood.

At once the witches who had brought me clapped their hands and shouted for joy, and Master Leonard, seating himself on the throne, pronounced at last those fatal words for the sake of which I stood before him.

“Now ask of me what thou wilt, and thy first desire will be fulfilled by us.”

With perfect self-control I replied:

“I desire to know, and I beg of you to inform me, where is now the Count Heinrich von Otterheim, known unto you, and how am I to find him.”

As I said this I gazed into the face of the Seated One and saw how it hardened and became overcast and terrible, and it was not he, but someone else standing near the throne, small of stature and hideous, who answered me:

“Thinkest thou that we do not know thy double-dealing. Beware playing with matters that are stronger than thou. And now begone, and perhaps later wilt thou receive an answer to thy insolent question.”

In no wise frightened by the threatening tone, for the naturalness and humanity of everything that was happening instilled no terror into me, I was about to reply, but my guides whispered into my ear: “No more! Later! Later!” and dragged me away from the throne almost by force.

Soon I found myself amidst a variegated crowd, which was making merry as at the Feast on Saint John’s day, or at the Carnival festivities at Venice. The field on which the Sabbath was being held was rather large, and probably used often for that purpose, for it was so trampled that no grass grew upon it. In places, here and there, fires that burned without fuel rose from within the earth, and they lit all the district by a greenish light like the light of fizgigs. Amidst these flames there bustled, jumped and grimaced three or four hundreds of beings, men and women, either quite naked or barely covered with shirts, some with wax candles in their hands, and also hideous animals of human appearance, enormous toads in green caftans, wolves and wolf hounds upright on their hind legs, apes and long-legged birds; here and there beneath their feet crawled and twisted repulsive serpents, lizards, salamanders, and tritons. In the distance on the very shore of the lake, I could make out some small children with long white staffs, who, not taking part in the merry-making, were grazing a herd of toads of a lesser size.

One of the naked witches who were leading me took an especial interest in me, and showed no sign of leaving me when the others, dragging me into the crowd, dispersed in various directions. Her face attracted me by its gaiety and pertness and the young body, though with breasts drooping, seemed yet fresh and responsive. She held my hand firmly and, snuggling against me, told me that she was known at the night feasts as Sarraska, and was persuading me: “Come and dance.” I saw no reason to refuse her.