The Fight (5 page)

And that was it.

T

he rest of the day was a blur. When I did see my friends, they were nice, but they wanted to know the details. I hadn't wanted to ask my mom about how Dominic did it, and she hadn't told me. So I didn't know any more than anyone else. And it didn't matter—however he'd done it, Dominic was dead.

At lunch, people were buzzing about it. Some of Jay's friends were laughing loudly at their table. I stared at them with hate.

As I was throwing my stuff away, Zoe came up to me. She looked as sad as I felt.

“Hey,” she said. “Dominic Garcia—that was your friend, right?”

I hesitated. I wasn't sure “friends” is how I'd describe me and Dominic. But I nodded.

“I'm really sorry,” she said seriously. She took a deep breath. “I thought you might be interested—we're going ahead and meeting even though we don't have approval yet. I thought you might want to come.”

“To—?” I said.

“The GSA meeting. Tomorrow after school in the courtyard. Salazar said he can't let use his room.” Her mouth twisted. “If you know anyone else who might be interested, pass it on. But be careful.” She tossed her stuff and walked away.

“Who was that?” Jenny asked as she came up.

“Oh, just somebody I know,” I said.

Both my parents came home early just to sit with their arms around me again it seemed. Not that I minded. They talked a lot about feelings and seeking help and resources. Finally, I interrupted.

“I've never thought about killing myself. Really.”

“Do you promise you won't?” my dad whispered.

“I promise,” I said.

Then we all started to cry.

After a while my mom wanted to hear again about the bullying and what Dominic had tried to do about it.

“That really needs to be looked into,” she declared. “We don't know exactly why Dominic … ended his life, but that kind of harassment can't be ignored by the adults in a school.”

“I know,” I said. “And usually they do
something
. But Mom, Dominic's parents don't know and you can't tell them. They didn't know he was gay. And I don't think this is the time for them to find out.”

“Are you sure he was…” Papi trailed off.

“
Gay
, Papi, it's not a bad word,” I said, annoyed. “I don't know, but he never denied it to me and it seems like he was.”

Papi screwed up his face, thinking. I could see he was trying to remember who Dominic was and whether he looked gay. Whatever. I turned back to my mom.

“Who would you talk to anyway? And what would you say?” I didn't want her going out there making things even harder.

She shook her head. “You're right. I'm not sure. But that other boy last year? who also … took his life—didn't it come out later that he was bullied too? Something about Facebook?”

I nodded. I didn't really know anything else about it, though.

She pulled me closer. “I just worry there are more kids out there going through that and no one's helping them,” she said.

Me too.

I

didn't want to be the first one at the meeting, so I hung around my locker the next day after school. Jenny offered me a ride home and looked at me funny when I didn't give a good reason for turning her down.

Finally, I walked slowly down to the doors by the courtyard and saw Zoe and some other kids sitting at a picnic table.

Zoe nodded to me as I sat down. The other kids looked at me in surprise. They all seemed to know each other.

“I don't think you told me your name,” Zoe said to me.

“Bella,” I cleared my throat. “I'm Bella.”

“Dominic was her friend,” Zoe told the others. Some of them looked sympathetic. Zoe went around the table telling me names, but I couldn't remember any of them after she said them. My hands were sweaty.

“Umm, excuse me,” said one of the guys. “Emma, or whatever your name is—”

“Bella,” I said softly.

“Uh-huh—but are you gay?”

I sucked in a huge breath, and my entire body felt flushed dark red. Before I could stutter an answer, Zoe jumped in.

“Oh my God!—Tyler!” she screeched. “I can't believe you'd ask that. Do you not know what GSA stands for? Gay Straight Alliance! It doesn't matter whether someone's gay or straight or just doesn't want to tell you.” She glared at him. He shrugged.

“We need to be careful who we trust with our secrets. I don't know her. I don't know who this Dominic kid is—was—either. What does he have to do with us?”

“Dominic was gay and being harassed because of it,” Zoe hissed. I was surprised—how did she know? “Right?” she turned to me.

I hesitated, then nodded. “I mean, he never told me he was gay but…” I paused. I didn't want to offend anyone here. They were all pretty…obvious. Like kind of stereotypical gay guys or lesbians. Zoe was wearing cargo shorts, and Tyler was wearing eyeliner.

I wasn't sure what secrets Tyler was talking about because it didn't seem like a secret that he was gay or trying to look gay. Dominic hadn't been anything like that.

“He was
gender nonconforming
, which means he didn't act or look like some pigs thought a guy should,” said Zoe.

“How did you know he was being bullied?” I asked her.

“I saw a few things,” she said briefly, giving me a look like
later
. She looked at the door. “I thought a few other people were coming, but this might be it.” She seemed disappointed that it was only six of us.

“OK,
boss
,” said Tyler. “What's the plan?”

“Well, I thought we'd just go around and say why we wanted to be here or have a GSA at our school,” said Zoe. My stomach dropped. Somehow I had thought I could just sit back and listen. A couple other kids had similar uncomfortable looks on their faces.

“Some of you know that last year a couple of students did all the paperwork and got all the signatures, but the principal still hasn't approved the GSA,” Zoe continued. “That's why Salazar can't be here and we can't meet in his room. So if we're going to keep fighting to be acknowledged, we need to know why.”

She looked around. “Fine, I'll start. I want a GSA so everyone who's gay or questioning knows they're not alone. And because they can't put us back in the closet!” She punched a fist in the air. The girl next to her threw an arm around her and kissed her on the cheek. Her girlfriend, I wondered?

“Amen,” said Tyler sarcastically. “I want a GSA so I can find some hot boys at this school to date. Other than you, Emilio,” he added, patting the short boy next to him. “You're a little young for me.” Emilio blushed.

“I want…” Emilio trailed off. “I just want a place to talk about … being…” he sighed.

“Gay,” said Tyler for him.

“I can't tell my family. They just …” he shot a look at me. Zoe nodded.

“Lots of people aren't out to their families … yet,” she said.

Emilio squirmed. I could see him thinking he'd never be able to tell. That's how Dominic felt.

Then everyone was looking at me. “Uh,” I said. “I'm here because …” June's face and long hair flashed through my mind. I was blushing like crazy. “I'm here because adults at school wouldn't help Dominic even when he told them what was happening. And I want to know why. Or for that to change.”

Tyler opened his mouth, but Zoe stopped him and pointed to the next girl.

The other two girls said stuff about safe places and support. Then Tyler jumped in.

“So what exactly happened with this Dominic kid? I mean, I've gotten pushed into a few lockers, and I stay away from certain people, but it sounds like he got it bad.”

“I don't know a lot,” I said. “I saw him getting…grabbed and kind of beat up in the hall and one of my teachers saw it too and didn't do anything. I know she heard the guy call Dominic a faggot. And the other guy, he was grabbing him…” I felt embarrassed.

“Grabbing his junk and saying he liked it?” asked Tyler. “Closet cases are the worst. They're like all over you because
they
like it. Cowards.”

Emilio looked sick. I wondered if stuff like that had happened to him.

“And he told me he'd talked to one of the vice principals, and he just told him not to be so gay,” I finished.

Everyone moaned. “I hate this school,” said one of the girls.

Zoe looked grim. “There's something going on, but I can't get it out of Salazar. It's not just the GSA being denied. The teachers are totally freaked about anything having to do with gay people. We're not playing Copland for the next band concert, and I swear it's because he's gay.”

I opened my mouth to tell them about Wellie and the Harlem Renaissance, but one of the girls spoke up first.

“Yeah and why has Salazar, like, gone back in the closet? My older sister had him, and he used to tell his classes about his partner and stuff, but now he never talks about that. And he doesn't have any pictures on his desk anymore, and I know he had some before.”

“Maybe they broke up,” said Tyler.

She shook her head. “I was with my family at the mall, and we saw him with a guy. My sister said that was his boyfriend. They've been together, like, ten years.”

A janitor poked his head out of the door.

“You kids got permission to be out here? Unless you're here for a sport or with a teacher, you need to leave.” He pointed a finger at Emilio, who was nervously eating chips. “And no food out here!”

“W

e'll get together again soon!” Zoe called out as everyone split up. She fell into step with me. “Need a ride home?”

“Uh, OK,” I said. The girl I thought was Zoe's girlfriend had disappeared. Zoe led me to her car in the parking lot.

“So, my mom wants to tell someone that no adult helped Dominic, but I told her she can't because then his parents would find out,” I said as Zoe backed her car out.

“Yeah, the teachers and administrators not helping kids who are being bullied for being gay is the biggest problem,” she said. “I mean, for some of us. Some of us don't get as much hassle, maybe just because we're more confident or whatever. But I worry about kids like Emilio and Nessa. I think they've had some problems.”

Nessa must have been one of the girls at the meeting, I thought. “So does Mr. Salazar stand up for kids if they're called names?” I asked.

Zoe twisted her mouth like before. “I've seen him be a pansy about it.” She stopped and snorted. “You know what I mean. He tells kids to knock it off, but he doesn't really address it. Not like I think he would if it were something else. Like calling someone—” she looked at me. “You know, a racist name or something. Where do you live again?”

When I was getting out of the car, Zoe leaned over to look at me. “Hey, if your mom is cool and like into PTA stuff, maybe you could ask her if there's something going on, something big. I think there's something the teachers and stuff are scared about. I'll ask my parents too. And the GSA will meet again, soon. Bye.”