His rage cleared abruptly and he had one startling clear thought. Corey stopped walking, jolting Sean to a stop beside him. He slowly turned back toward Nygaard in time to see him shake off his father and brother. “You forget,” Corey said with quiet menace, “I signed off on your after-action, Nygaard. It said the same thing that everyone else’s reports said. You had your chance to tell
your
truth and you didn’t take it. You don’t get to re-write history now, because you don’t like the consequences of your own actions.”
Corey turned on his heel and strode out of the yard, Tyler and Sean tight on his six.
As they crossed the street to the Jeep, Sean held out a hand, palm up. “Keys,” he demanded.
“What for?” Corey frowned.
“You’re too upset to drive,” replied Sean. “Whatever this guy did was bad, if it can get you this aggressive on a dose of Xanax.”
Corey looked down at his trembling hands. He fished his keys out of his pocket and handed them to Sean.
When they stopped at the end of the block to let Tyler out at his car, Tyler leaned forward and put his hand on Corey’s arm lightly.
“Sorry to drag you into this shit, dude,” he said, his expression sheepish. “I shoulda known better. I’m sorry I fucked up your night, but thanks for coming with me.”
Corey couldn’t blame Tyler for any of this shit. “You know I got your back.”
With a quick pat to Corey’s arm, Tyler turned to Sean and shook his hand. “It was good to meet you, man,” he said. “Sorry you had to see all that ugly shit.”
“It’s okay,” Sean said with a small smile. “I think it actually might have done Corey some good.”
Tyler opened the door and started to climb out. “Take care of him. He’s earned it.”
“That is the current plan,” Sean replied.
They drove in silence for a short time. Corey stared out the window, focusing on his breathing and struggling to calm down. He had an idea of what Nygaard was talking about, but he certainly didn’t order the asshole to do what he had done. He certainly never covered anything up. But he couldn’t remember everything that had happened so could he really be sure?
“Are you still up for dinner?” Sean asked quietly, breaking the silence.
Corey cleared his throat. “Yeah. Let’s go. Let’s just pretend none of this ever happened.”
“I think we’d better just stop thinking about it for now,” Sean replied. “But it sounded like there are some things you need to deal with. Just, maybe not tonight.”
Corey wasn’t going to argue. He just wanted to forget, at least for a time. He wanted normal. He wanted to focus on Sean and see if maybe there was still a chance Sean wanted to focus on him.
“You know, you don’t have to humor me,” Corey said suddenly, surprising himself. “If this is all too fucked-up for you and you just want to go home and never see me again, I understand. It doesn’t make you an asshole or anything.”
Sean heaved a deep sigh. “At some point, you’ll have to tell me who the fuck, besides Jonah, left you with a broken heart, so you keep expecting everyone to walk away and leave you.”
Corey’s heart clenched. He swallowed past the lump in his throat. “I’d rather talk about happier things,” he said in a rough voice.
“Yeah, you’ve probably earned that today,” Sean said quietly.
Corey let himself be led into the restaurant and seated in a dark, corner booth. He complied docilely when Sean ordered them both iced tea.
“Do you have any preferences?” Sean asked when Corey still hadn’t opened the menu. “If you’re not fussy, I can order for us both.”
“Yeah, sure,” Corey said, trying to rally enthusiasm.
Sean made it easy. He ordered them both antipasto salad, lasagna with meat sauce, and crunchy sourdough garlic bread. When the waitress asked if they wanted a bottle of wine with their meal, Sean quickly declined in favor of iced tea with lemon. Very calm and matter-of-fact, he began to talk.
At first, Corey had to force himself to focus on Sean’s words and ask polite questions, but it didn’t last long. Sean had gotten his break with a supporting role in the touring cast of a popular Broadway musical. Corey had heard of it, but never seen it. That role had led to lead roles off-Broadway, until he’d finally landed two back-to-back lead roles in Broadway productions. He’d spent three years in New York, longing for home.
“There is absolutely nothing wrong with New York, but it’s just not California,” Sean explained. “I missed the weather and the laid back attitude. I was happy when I finally came home.”
“I’ve never been there,” Corey said.
“I’m auditioning for a role on Broadway in a couple of weeks,” replied Sean, forking cold cuts along with his salad greens. “If I get the part, you’ll have to come visit me.”
Corey’s heart sank. The thought of Sean leaving for New York left him more devastated than he thought possible.
Christ, when had he gotten so fucking needy?
Sean smoothly transitioned to talk of the television shows he’d had guest roles on. Corey was surprised at the quality of the shows. He didn’t watch much television, so he’d never seen any of Sean’s episodes, but he thought he might try renting some DVDs pretty soon.
“Have you ever done anything besides acting?” Corey asked with genuine curiosity.
Sean hesitated. “Early on I did some modeling. My portfolio is pretty interesting,” Sean said with a smirk. “I don’t do as much print work as I used to. What I do now is usually in Europe. My early stuff is damn near pornographic, though.”
“Are you fucking serious?” Corey asked in surprise, his mouth full of food.
“Damn near, but not quite,” Sean was still smirking.
“Were you naked?” Just the thought had Corey’s cock stirring.
“Yeah, but none of the photos were full-frontal.” Sean shrugged. “Well, a lot of them would have been if it hadn’t been for the strategic placement of props.”
“Can I see this portfolio?” Corey asked hesitantly.
Sean chuckled. “Sure.”
He listed the commercials he’d performed voiceover for, and Corey paused. Now that he thought about it, the voice in those commercials really did sound familiar. The greatest surprise came when Sean told him he’d provided the character voice for a series of animated movies. Corey couldn’t go anywhere without seeing posters, toys, or some other thing associated with those movies. Sean told him that the production company was making noise about requiring him to attend the San Diego ComiCon the following summer for a panel and autograph signings.
“You have a geek fan base,” Corey said with a laugh.
“Yes, I do, and they are some of the most exuberant fans of all.” Sean was beaming with pride.
When their plates were cleared away, Corey sighed and sat back in his chair. He ran his hand over the back of his neck, realizing there was no tension there. Corey was surprised to find he was relaxed and happy.
“You look better,” Sean said, studying Corey. “You seem like you’re feeling better.”
“I am.” Corey agreed. “You managed to salvage the night.” He was grateful and wondered how he could show it.
“It was easy. You’re good company,” Sean replied.
“I don’t know about that.” Corey snatched the check from the waitress when she approached. “It’s the least I can do for what you’ve had to put up with, tonight,” he said, to forestall Sean’s objection.
“I haven’t quite figured out yet, why you think spending time with you is such a burden,” Sean mused.
Outside of the restaurant, Corey unlocked the Jeep. He was fine to drive now. He held the passenger door open for Sean.
With an arched eyebrow, Sean said, “So I get to be the girl in this relationship?”
“No.” Corey frowned. “I’m just being a gentleman. If you get to a door first, I expect you to hold it open for me.” That wasn’t exactly true. Holding doors was a habit he’d developed with Kathryn and never seemed to have broken.
“You’re on.” Sean smiled as he slid into the Jeep.
Corey parked in front of Sean’s condo as he was directed. He was climbing out when Sean reached back and retrieved the canvas bag. He unzipped it and withdrew what Corey knew was the bottle of Viagra.
Corey’s stomach plummeted when he considered what Sean must think of him. “I don’t need those,” he protested when Sean tried to hand them to him.
“Just come on,” Sean said, exiting the vehicle.
When Corey joined him for the walk to the door, Sean said, “If you’re afraid I’ll think you’re trying to come off as an extra hard, super-hung stud with the stamina of Zeus, I already don’t think that.”
“And the alternative is so much better,” Corey growled.
“Stress gets to us all, at one time or another,” Sean replied with a smile, holding the outer door open for Corey to enter first. “You’re under more stress than usual so it’s a reasonable symptom for you to have.”
Inside the condo, Sean took a bottle of water from the fridge and set it on the counter in front of Corey. He poured a blue, diamond shaped pill into Corey’s palm. Reluctantly, Corey took the pill. He wondered if being freaked over Sean knowing about this would override the pill’s ability to do its job. “It’s supposed to take twenty to thirty minutes.”
“Relax, Corey,” Sean said quietly, stepping close and running a hand up his arm. “You don’t have to be
ready to perform
on cue. Let’s take our time and just enjoy each other, yeah?” Sean narrowed his eyes and cocked his head. “You don’t feel pressured, do you? I don’t want you to feel you have to do something you’re not really interested in—”
Corey didn’t let him finish. He wrapped a hand around the nape of Sean’s neck and brought him in for a kiss. He didn’t want Sean thinking Corey wasn’t very, very interested in being with him.
He nipped at Sean’s lush mouth, licking lightly against his tongue before darting away to change the angle and push in again. Sean mouthed at Corey’s lips and licked back at him, following Corey’s lead and giving him unquestioned access.
“Okay, then,” Sean sighed, pulling back with a satisfied smirk. “That answers that. Just relax, make yourself comfortable. I’m not going to drag you into the bedroom and demand you start performing.”
Corey almost made a joke about that actually sounding like fun. He stopped himself, though. He really was a little afraid he wouldn’t be able to
perform
when Sean was ready for him to.
Sean walked past him and Corey turned toward the expansive windows looking out over the city. He walked to stand in front of them. Lights glittered on buildings and cars. The full moon still hung low in the sky and appeared huge. Corey thought the ocean might be visible during the day and when he paused to orient himself, he realized the windows faced the correct direction for it to be possible.
A sound caught his attention and Corey turned to see Sean in the doorway to his bedroom, leaning against the door sill. He was bathed in moonlight, the light and shadow making his features ethereal. He watched Corey closely, expression guarded.
“You’re absolutely gorgeous standing there,” Sean said breathlessly. “The moonlight makes your hair look golden. Your eyes are such a pale blue they’re nearly white.”
Corey wanted to return the compliment but nothing he could think to say was as eloquent as Sean’s words.
“Whatever happens tonight, stay with me.” Sean continued, catching Corey off guard. “Just don’t leave me alone.”
“Okay,” Corey replied, voice rough. He took a step in Sean’s direction, heart thumping against his breastbone.
“I don’t know what this is. I have no idea where we’re gonna go.” Sean’s throat worked as he swallowed. “I just know that I couldn’t want you any more than I do right now.”
Corey froze, halfway across the room. He couldn’t catch his breath, only this time it was pleasant.
“I only need one thing from you.” Sean still leaned against the doorsill but now Corey could see his calm was feigned. “Stop trying to run away from me.”
Corey’s stomach knotted. “I don’t want to,” he said hastily. Sean’s expression told him he’d said that wrong. “I mean, I don’t want to leave. I also don’t want to hear you tell me to go.”
Sean nodded slowly, as if he was piecing together a puzzle and the image was finally taking shape. “It’ll get difficult. I just need to know you’ll fight until there’s nothing left to fight for, instead of calling a retreat.”
“I used to know how to do that,” he replied. “Fight, I mean.”
“Why did you stop?” Sean asked quietly.
Corey swallowed hard. He buried his fists in his front pockets, his shoulders rising up tensely. “Kathryn was gone long before she moved out. We’d moved in together to go to college. Two years later she came home and said it wasn’t working. She moved into the second bedroom we used for storage while she looked for a place of her own. I begged and pleaded for weeks. When she left, she left behind all the photos of us together from over the years. She didn’t take anything I’d ever given her.”
“What did she say when you pleaded with her?” Sean asked.
Corey sighed explosively. “That I could never make her happy because I didn’t really want to. Because I really wanted to be with a man, and not a woman.”
“It must be hard to try to…care again, when the only time you ever have in the past, that person walked away.” Corey nodded, at Sean’s words. His throat was too tight to speak. “This time, though, I’m not going to be the one to let you go.”
Corey stared helplessly at Sean. He wasn’t simply asking Corey not to walk away if things got a little rocky, he was vowing to do the same. Corey closed the final distance between them, standing close enough to feel the heat of Sean’s body.
“You don’t know what it’s like to be involved with an active duty Marine,” he said hesitantly, resisting the urge to touch Sean.
“You don’t know what it’s like to be involved with a working actor,” Sean retorted.
Corey couldn’t help his chuckle. “Fair enough. So, where do we go from here?”
Sean stood straight. “Kiss me,” he whispered. “Slowly. I like it when you’re slow and gentle.”
Corey leaned in even as Sean pressed closer. He settled his mouth over Sean’s lips, placing soft kisses along the seam. He wrapped his arms around Sean and pulled their bodies tight together. Sean’s scent drifted to him, pleasant and spicy. Corey had grown very fond of that scent. He flicked his tongue lightly and Sean opened for him. Corey rubbed their tongues together gently, not pushing deep, not demanding more. Sean’s fingers clutched at Corey’s shoulders and his breath quickened along Corey’s cheek.