The Fire Mages' Daughter (44 page)

Long before we got there, my happiness had drowned in guilt. I had done something bad, and it was only right to tell him about it. But I couldn’t bear it if he hated me for it.

As soon as we were alone, he swept me into his arms. “Mmm, my little flower, back safe at last. Sweet Drina…”

I pushed him away. My arms were weak and trembling, and my stomach was painfully knotted, but it had to be done.

“Arran… I have a confession to make.”

His face changed, and I read uncertainty there. “You had better tell me everything, then.”

“I… when I was on the island…” A long pause. My hands rose to cover my mouth, as if they wanted to choke back the words. But I couldn’t avoid the confession, and there was no way to paint this to look pretty. I dropped my hands, clasping them meekly in front of me, and lowered my eyes.

“I lay with
him
,” I rattled on in haste. “It was his magic, I took it all and there was too much and… and you weren’t there and I
had
to, I couldn’t help it and I’m so sorry.” Tears dripped down my cheeks, but he said nothing. I dared not look at his face. “Please… please don’t be angry with me. I didn’t mean to do it. I didn’t
want
to. Please…”

“Hush, sweetheart,” he said, gathering me back into his arms. “Hush now. I am not angry.” His voice was so soft I could barely hear him. “We all make mistakes. Sometimes… sometimes we do things that are wrong, even though we know we should not. Even though we know we will regret them afterwards. These things happen. Then—” His voice cracked. “We just have to resolve to do better in the future.”

“Yes! Yes, exactly! And I will, I
will
do better. I’ll never let it happen again, I swear it. I’m so sorry.”

“Shh. No more tears. Would you like to go to bed now, my love?”

I would. And we did, and Arran was wonderful to me, sweet and gentle and tender, and I loved him so much I thought I would die.

~~~~~

Half the fortress, it seemed, accompanied us back to Kingswell. The war was over, the extra soldiers were no longer needed and everything could return to normal. Some of the mages, too, were to make the journey, but several had gone to join my mother on the island, although they were more excited about the prospect of a new scribery than healing the Blood Clans. There was much muttering about improper use of magic, for it was illegal to heal foreigners, or without the payment of silver, but no one would dare to argue with my mother about it.

As well as Ly, five eagle riders had been captured alive during the final battle. They were all of them transported in a wagon fitted with metal rings so they could be chained to it, and they wore heavy manacles on both arms and legs. The others grumbled about it, but Ly never did.

Every second sun his magic had increased enough for me to detect it. I was adept now at taking it from him. I didn’t even need to be near him, but he always knew, and smiled at me afterwards.

We were about halfway to Kingswell when we encountered the remnants of Ly’s army making their slow way home. They kept to the woodlands away from the road, but here and there we caught a glimpse of tawny fur or mottled hide. Sometimes I could detect their magic, but I left them alone. The beasts were safer directed by a human rider than they would be if I broke the connection between them.

Following behind them was a large contingent of Bennamorian troops, monitoring the enemy retreat. At their head, I recognised the beaming face of Axandor.

“Well, sister, this is a happy meeting! As you can see, we have driven the enemy off. A fine victory! It is a pity you missed all the action. I am just ensuring these foul creatures leave our lands once and for all. And the border is secure, I hear.”

“It is. We are just conveying some prisoners for trial.”

“Trial before execution, eh? Novel. Well, your prisoners, sister dear.”

Beside me, Arran rolled his eyes, but I was seeing Axandor in a new light. Strutting about the lushly carpeted halls of Kingswell, he’d always cut a ridiculous figure. Out here, on his horse and with sword and helm and mail that had obviously seen real service, he looked a great deal more impressive. He was still an idiot, but perhaps the army could turn him into a useful one.

~~~~~

Yannassia was well enough to attend the trial, presiding with her usual impassive calm over proceedings. The law scribes paced up and down, asking their questions and making their arguments. The mages looked on without emotion. The nobles, who had rushed back from their country estates to enjoy the spectacle, ogled and whispered. No doubt some of them remembered entertaining Ly the previous year.

Ly himself watched everything with lively interest. Occasionally he would translate for the others, but mostly he sat, a little apart from his country-people, listening intently. His friends were subdued, perhaps expecting the worst, but Ly never showed the slightest fear.

The trial was mercifully brief. In truth, there was little to say. We were the victors, and could say what we liked. Ly and his comrades had no defence against the accusation that they had invaded our borders, to the grievous destruction of life and property. And no one mentioned that only a few scant moons ago, we were the invaders.

I had said nothing the entire time. Only when all the talking was done did they turn to me. I was war leader, and the prisoners were captured during the war, so they belonged to me. Courtesy dictated that I relinquish my rights to Yannassia. Very politely, she returned them to me.

“How speaks the Most Powerful Lady Axandrina, Drashonor of all Bennamore and its dominions, in the matter of prisoner number six?” intoned the senior law scribe.

One of the eagle fliers. I had no interest in her. “Prisoner number six is to be transported securely to the northwestern border and there released to return to her home. If she enters Bennamore in the future, she will be subject to summary execution.”

A buzz around the room, as Ly translated rapidly in an undertone. The other four received the same. But then we came to the crux of the matter. Prisoner number one. Ly-haam. He watched me calmly, not afraid.

I took a deep breath. “Prisoner number one is to be committed for life to my sole custody.”

Silence.

Yannassia frowned. “What exactly are you planning to do with him?”

“I am going to marry him.”

Yannassia stormed about the room. I’d never seen her in such a towering rage. She’d charged out of the hearings chamber, skirts flying, with clouds of servants, scribes and mages scampering along behind her, but she had sent them away with an abruptness I’d never heard from her before. Only Arran and I, and Torthran, remained in the antechamber with her.

“You are
insane
! What are you thinking, marrying this boy? I cannot understand you, Drina, I swear it. By all the gods, you
cannot
be love with him.”

That brought a little smile. “Of course not.”

“How can you possibly be Drashonor now? This is your revenge on me, I suppose. Are you still looking for ways to pay me back? Do you hate me so much?”

Torthran shadowed her anxiously. “Yannassia, dearest, please sit down. This is doing you no good.”

And then, as he helped her to a chair, she burst into tears. That was worse than anything. Her anger I could cope with, and even her cold contempt would have been better. But tears – I couldn’t deal with that.

I knelt at her feet. “Yannassia, please don’t be upset. This is not because of you and it’s not a choice from the heart. You know me better than anyone, and you know where my heart lies. Do you really think I would tie myself to this man if I saw any other option? I’m sorry it was such a shock, but if I’d told you what I was planning, you would never have left his fate to me to decide. But truly this is for the best.”

“You will never convince me of that, never. There are only two options, Drina, execution and locking him up for life. Anything else is madness, total madness.”

“Well, call me mad, then, for I can’t find it in me to kill him, and he hates stone walls around him, he would go out of his mind locked away.”

“Who cares if he does? He is evil!
Please
reconsider. I have already lost Zandara, I could not bear to lose you too.”

Her vehemence shocked me. “You will not lose me,” I said gently. “He’s perfectly harmless without his magic. I’m the only one who can keep him that way, so he has to be near me, always. And I need his magic. It fills the emptiness inside me. This way, we both get what we want.”

“But you do not have to
marry
him! Drina, is this your way of escaping me? You never wanted to be my heir, and now you have made it impossible. But I never believed you would go to quite such extraordinary lengths to avoid the possibility.”

I sat back on my heels. “No! It’s nothing like that. In his culture, a man must be obedient to the woman in his life. His mother, if he is unmarried. His wife, if he has one. If I marry Ly, he will be bound to obey me.”

She was quieter now, interested. “How does that help?”

“Because he is
byan shar
, the leader of his people. He can negotiate with all the clans. He has something we want – access to the black-bark forest. We cannot harvest it, but his people can. What I propose is that we take the new scribery, the lake and all the land up to the fortress back into Bennamorian control, as it once was. That way there will be mages there. Ly can make a trading agreement to give us the black-bark in exchange for silver. He can use the silver to buy spellpages for his people when they need them. Because he will be married to me, he will be a Bennamorian, so he will be able to do that. It will be legal. Do you see? Everybody will get what they want.”

There was a speculative glint in her eye. “It is clever, very clever. But he is not a strong leader. He cannot negotiate unless his people respect him.”

“He will be respected in his own right when he is older, and begins to make his own decisions. For the moment, he must be guided by a woman. He has been badly advised up to now, but I shall do better. He will be a great leader in time, but through peace, not war. I shall see to that.”

~~~~~

It was many hours before I had a chance to talk to Arran about my proposal. His stricken face followed me from meeting to meeting, and it wasn’t until we returned to our apartment to bathe and change for evening board that we were alone.

He sat down heavily on one of the silk-covered sofas in the dressing room, but he wouldn’t look me in the eye.

“We should talk about it,” I said gently. “Tell me what you think.”

His head came up. “I hardly know what to think.”

“It is a political arrangement, nothing more. I’m sure you understand that.”

“How will it work? Where will you live? Will you be here… or there?”

I shrugged helplessly. “I can’t say yet. There’s so much still to be decided. It will be… different.”

His head drooped a little. “And… what about me? There will be no place for me in this new life of yours.”

I sat down beside him and took both his hands in mine. “There will
always
be a place for you in my life, always. If you want it.”

“If I want it? You know I do.”

Such an easy opening. I could have smiled and nodded and kissed him, and that would have been that. But that would have been selfish of me. I knew what I had to do, and it was the hardest thing I’d ever done in my life.

“Arran, we must be completely honest with each other. I know you’ve never loved me the way that I love you. You enjoy the life we live, the apartment, the servants, the fine clothes. You enjoy the high rank. No, don’t deny it, it’s the truth. And I’ve been very grateful to you for… well, making me feel as if you were only here for me.”

I paused to catch my breath, for the words were stuck in my throat somehow. Tears began to well up, but I blinked them away.

“But everything is changing now. I don’t know how it’s going to work out, or how you’ll fit into it, and I can’t expect you to just wait around for me. So if you want to be free, I will release you from your contract early, and you can find another drusse-holder, if you want that. There are several of the cousins who would love to have you, and they rank almost as high as I do. The one with the dark hair and pretty blue eyes – you’ve always admired her.”

I was weeping in earnest now. He lifted my chin with one hand. “Is this what you want? To be rid of me?”

“
No!
No. It’s the last thing I want. But I’d hate you to be tied to me and miserable. More than anything I want you to be happy.”

He wrapped his arms round me, rocking me a little. “Oh, Drina. It is true, I started out that way. Here is honesty for you – it was not even my idea. It was my father who suggested it, when I became your bodyguard.
‘There is an opportunity for you, if you like,’
he told me. And I did like. And… and you have always been generous to me, and… Drina, I am not perfect, I know that. I make mistakes, I do foolish things. I never mean to hurt you, but sometimes… While you have been kindness itself. But I always thought I was heart-free, until you were kidnapped by… by
him
. I was so afraid for you, nothing else mattered.”

He squeezed me so tight I could hardly breathe.

“And then, when I was out at the border and you were here,” he whispered into my hair, “I missed you so much, it was unbearable. Everything was so empty and lonely and miserable without you, my darling. I realised that… all the fine clothes and the title and living in a fancy apartment… it means
nothing
without you. If you want to go and live in the wilderness, I would be perfectly happy with that, so long as I can be with you. So no, I have no desire to be free, or to take up with the cousin with the pretty eyes.
You
are the only woman I want, sweet Drina. I love you so much. Please, please let me stay with you.”

He kissed me with fierce passion, and I so badly wanted to believe it all. He meant every word, I was sure of that, and there was an intensity I’d not seen in him before.

Yet I knew him so well. Even if he loved me truly, he would always admire other women. Admire, and perhaps something more. He couldn’t help himself, and that was something I understood perfectly well.

In the future, perhaps, I would tire of his antics, and his declarations of love would leave me unmoved. But for now, it was enough. More than enough. I leaned into him, and allowed myself a moment of pure happiness.

~~~~~

Ly was released into my custody, and I brought him into my apartment to live. It was as well to begin on the right footing. I found him a room with a large balcony so that he could escape the constricting stone walls when he wanted.

He was still guarded constantly, and Yannassia insisted on his hands, at least, being chained, but I had a special set of manacles made for him, lighter and looser, which opened so that he could take them off at night. He was very passive, and I would almost say he was contented, at least until he was properly introduced to Arran.

They’d met on the journey to Kingswell, but then Ly had mistaken Arran for just another member of my entourage. Now he learned differently.

“Your drusse? I have never understood that concept.”

“Think of him like a husband, only not quite,” I said.

“Ah,” Ly said, his eyes flicking from one to the other. “But how will that work… when I am your husband?”

Good question. “I have no idea yet, but Arran stays with me. That is not negotiable.”

The two men exchanged glances.

“But what about… sleeping arrangements?” Arran said. “And children?”

Ly shuddered. “I will have no more children.”

“I think we are agreed on that,” I said. “If I have children, they will be yours, Arran. As for the… sleeping arrangements, you will have to sort that out amongst yourselves.”

They looked confused, but I just laughed. We had plenty of time.

~~~~~

“It will never work, you know,” Yannassia said to me one sun. “Two men in one apartment? They will either ignore each other or…”

“Or?”

“Or one of them will kill the other.” She shifted position restlessly. She was as large as an ox now, and could never get comfortable.

“It is a very large apartment,” I murmured. “And we will not always be at Kingswell. Sometimes we will be in the Clanlands. I want them used to each other. At ease with each other.”

She shook her head, but she was no longer angry with me. She’d seen the benefits of the arrangement, and the prospect of harvesting the black-bark forest was irresistible.

Another shift of position, then with a sigh she rose, one hand pressed to the small of her back. “I swear, I am never doing this again. Once this child is out, I plan to do what I should have done in the first place, which is to marry Torthran. He can take on a stable of drusse and have as many replicas of his nose as his heart desires.”

I laughed in delight. “And then you will have an even larger array of potential heirs.”

She smiled at me. “Ah, Drina! You never give up! But I have already surrendered. You will stay as Drashonor officially, at least for a while, but you could never be Drashona while married to another leader, and from a hostile neighbour too. The nobles will never agree to it.”

My heart leapt with delight. Finally! “I’d have married him earlier if I’d known that. So I shall be free at last!”

She tutted at me sorrowfully. “Poor Drina. You never wanted it, I know, but look how well you have turned out! You would have been so perfect. Ah well. I shall turn my attentions to Hethryn. It is all for the best, I daresay.”

~~~~~

Kingswell was alive with activity again. As the population returned, the business of clearing up and repairing the damage began. Fortunately the mages had prevented the fires spreading out of control, so only a few buildings had burned to the ground, and the evacuation had saved many lives. Even so, there had been many deaths, especially on the road to Kingswell, in towns and villages that had not heeded the warnings. But we had had a fortunate escape and the temples were overflowing with gifts of gratitude.

The normal business of Yannassia’s court recommenced, and my hours were full. But when word arrived of more Vahsi movements into Icthari land, I thought of Shallack Gurshmonta. I had never liked him, still less trusted him, and I would never forgive him for working against me when I was war leader.

But I had one reason to be grateful to him. I was certain he had used his influence with the Icthari to ensure that the plot to kill Zandara, Axandor and me would never be repeated. It was an immeasurable relief not to have to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder for an assassin.

I was not so grateful, however, that I wanted him lurking in Kingswell, interfering with everything I did. His profitable Icthari trade had been disrupted, but it was within my power to help him to open up new trade. On the southern Plains of Kallanash, a number of settlements had sprung up since the troubles in the Karningplain. It would be in everyone’s interests to tie them to Bennamore before they had the chance to look elsewhere. A few new trading licences issued, and Shallack Gurshmonta and his private militia would be far, far away.

There was one other person I wanted to be rid of, and that was Arran’s wife. Although it was perfectly legal for him to have a wife, she rankled with me more than I cared to admit. She and her son were a constant reminder of Arran’s deceit in the past, and would be a drain on him for ever more. Even though she was settled with his family at Hexmore, there was a steady stream of messages reporting on the child’s progress and trying to wheedle money from him. And he was too soft-hearted to refuse her.