The Fire Starter (8 page)

I could feel his hot breath on my face already, and considering my predicament, it was hard to speak. I didn't think he'd buy any lie I'd say at this point anyway, since he would be aware of every inflection, every squirm, every tiny movement that I might do. Instead, I didn't answer.

And it seems he didn't need any. He had stopped walking, since there was nowhere else to walk. He was just an arm's length away from me, or maybe even closer, but I could see his face drawing nearer.

It was a slow, painful, torturous process.

He brought his face nearer and nearer, savoring every second that I anticipated his next move. I hated that I anticipated it, but it was all leading there, wasn't it? Was he going to kiss me? Finally? Was he really going to torture me up to this extent? I didn't think he could be this…cruel.

But he wasn't cruel. Instead, he was sweet, painfully, passionately sweet. His lips brushed against mine, soft and kind. It was so soft that I didn't think our lips really touched. He solved that problem by kissing me once again, this time with a little more force. Above all the emotions jumbled inside me, two stood out. Happiness and sadness. Happiness that he was kissing me with a passion that I almost wanted to drown in, and sadness that it wasn't because he liked me. Because how would he like me when there are other girls who were far better than me in every aspect?

Happiness overpowered sadness as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer, urging him to deepen the kiss. He didn't seem to hesitate as he tilted his head and crushed his lips against mine, a low moan escaping his throat. I kissed back as passionately as I could--never bother with the sadness. I would deal with that later on. Right now, all that mattered was that his hands were at the small of my back, pulling me closer, his body fitting against mine perfectly. This felt good. This felt perfect.

We broke apart, catching our breaths, our eyes both alight with fire. I sighed, the sadness already creeping up inside me.

"I'm really sorry if I said something wrong--" he started.

"What? No. You didn't say anything wrong. I just--"

But he didn't let me finish as he pulled me into his arms again and kissed me with a fire that was almost physically scorching where his hands touched me. My senses were acutely aware of his every movement, but a fraction of my mind wondered if the rain had stopped. As I reveled in the warmth of the kiss we were sharing, I heard a painful howl from somewhere in the distance, a pain that I could almost empathize with.

Spencer pushed me away abruptly, emphasizing the pain that almost made my heart want to stop, though it was running too fast for it to halt suddenly. "I have to go," was the last I heard from him before he dashed out of the room without another look. He looked as though he had made a terrible mistake and couldn't get away from it soon enough.

Physics class was nothing but torture. As I sat beside Spencer trying to listen to what Mr. Landover was saying, all I could really hear was the steady beat of Spencer's foot tapping. It wasn't distracting to the others, since it was just barely noticeable, but it was all I could think about. I gave up trying to write down some notes and just stared at Mr. Landover bleary eyed.

Beside Spencer, Alice was whispering something in his ear. He didn't speak, but he either nodded or shook his head inconspicuously. I hated her, I hated that Spencer was kind to her. Or maybe he wasn't kind at all. Maybe he was just like her, cruel, exacting, and judgmental. It all makes sense. Any sane person wouldn't torture you into believing that they somehow had even the slightest feelings for you only to disappoint you. And what a convenient timing that was last night, when we were mid-kiss and he suddenly left. I could feel the familiar loathing I feel for him coming to the surface already.

As the bell rang, I hurriedly collected my things and made for the door.

"Kayleigh, wait." As expected, he was going to talk to me as if nothing happened. How many times had he done this to me already?

I didn't want to stop, but several of our classmates had lingered on the doorway and blocked my way.

"About last night I--"

"No." I cut him off. "I know what you're doing Spencer."

"What?" his voice wasn't as calm as usual and he looked genuinely confused.

"I know what you're trying to do. And I won't be a victim." I won't be someone who begs for you to pay me any attention. And I certainly won't be one who helplessly waits for you to notice me. I know what you're going to say. That last night was a mistake, or something similar. "Don't even bother."

He stood there speechless as I finally made my way out of the room, wondering where to go without bumping into any of his friends. Lunch was not an option, since they would all be there at this time. I'll just have to hole up in my room for an hour or two until it's safe to get myself some food. I should start getting some food stacked up inside my room just in case.

One o'clock passed. It was time. My hunger had passed, but I had to get something to eat, since dinner wouldn't be coming anytime soon. I should get some snacks for when it's already late. I chuckled, realizing that it was easy to avoid them. I looked at the corridors before I left the room. The coast was clear. I walked quickly, eager to get back inside as soon as possible.

The trip was a blur, and when I entered the cafeteria with a meal already in mind, I was determined that all would go on as expected. However, when I heard someone clear his throat from behind me, I knew that my plan had been busted already.

"Kayleigh," he said simply.

I tried to ignore Spencer, concentrating on the food I was going to get. He was insistent, and he brushed his hand against my forearm, which, of course, had the desired effect. I snapped. "What the hell?"

A few students looked at us, but they looked away quickly.

"Please talk to me," he said in a hushed tone, nervousness lacing his voice.

"There's nothing to talk about." It was my turn at the counter and I recalled the order I had been chanting inside my head without difficulty. It must just be me, but the waiter seemed to be preparing my order extra slow today. I waited impatiently, already imagining my room and the long walk I would have to endure. Now that Spencer has found me, I don't know how I'd get rid of him.

"We have to talk," he insisted, his voice growing unbearably cold. "Look, I'm sorry about last night--"

"Of course you are, Spencer. You must be regretting every minute of it."

"No. That's not--Kayleigh--"

"Something wrong, Spence?" I heard Alice's irritatingly chirpy voice from outside the cafeteria but I didn't bother to check. I know she would be smirking evilly at me, and I don't want to give her that satisfaction.

"Nothing," Spencer answered flatly.

"I'll wait for you outside. Be quick, dear," Alice mentioned, certainly for my purpose. She was telling me that she had won. That Spencer was hers and that I should back off. Oh, sure. You can have him, bitch.

Spencer let out an exasperated sigh. "Will you speak with me later?"

"If you mean you're going to knock on my door helpless and sad, the answer's no. Just hurry and tend to Alice's problems, will you? She gets more and more irritating as you let her wait."

With one long look in my direction, Spencer left in a hurry. You see? I'm not imagining that Alice and he are an item. Just look at how obedient he is to her. It's sickening, actually. He's a man, for crying out loud. And Alice seems to be holding the reigns. No wonder he's regretting what he had done last night. For a moment I felt sad for him, but then again, he has a choice. If he doesn't like how she's treating him, he could just end it. He had done that before, so why can't he do it again? And why did he even get back with her in the first place?

Much as I didn't want to meet with Spencer, I had no choice. We were the only two who had any concern for our projects, and though I know he could finish everything off on his own, I wouldn't allow myself to be viewed as someone who just lets others do things for her. If I can help with the project, I will. There's no changing that.

"Let's finish this quickly," I announced as soon as I dropped my bag on the chair beside me and sat down on the seat farthest from him.

He sighed, pushing a book towards my direction. "There are some revisions."

"Yeah," I answered without much interest. I studied what he had pointed out and wrote it down in my notebook. I have to admit, this is helping me focus on my studies. At least with the tension between us, I could improve my grades. At least there's a consolation in all this.

We continued working silently, separately, as the hours passed. It was already eleven thirty and I was growing tired. I still had a lot of things to do, and I was determined to finish my share so that this would be the last meeting we would have.

"You're still not going to talk to me, are you?" he asked out of the blue. He looked up from what he was doing and waited for my response.

I finished with my tasks and pushed it towards him. "I'm done. If you don't mind, I'd like to rest now." I stood up and collected my bag, ready to leave the room. I still needed him to check what I have done to make sure that there were no problems. I waited.

He looked at my notes, and his eyebrows furrowed deeply. I wanted to ask if he found some problems, because if he didn't tell me, I know he would solve them on his own. He flipped from page to page without saying anything. He didn't even bother talking to me, which was good.

As he was halfway on my notes, he stopped and wiped the sweat that had collected on his forehead. I also noticed his hand shaking a bit. "I'm sorry. It might take a while to finish this. You can go ahead and rest now."

I didn't move. "No, I want the revisions now if there are any." I didn't want to meet with him again. The sooner this is over, the better. I'm pretty confident with what I had done anyway. Spencer looked at me, but his eyes looked lifeless. I noticed that even his neck was sweaty, and he was shaking visibly now. "Are you okay?" I asked, though I made sure that he wouldn't mistake my concern as forgiveness.

"Yes," he answered weakly. He looked paler than usual and he seemed to be unable to keep himself straight. "I'll just leave it on your chair tomorrow, okay?" he finished with a weak, almost lifeless smile.

I hesitated, but he looked so terrible that I had to step in. I put a hand on his forehead and sure enough, he was hot with fever. He was shivering too. I panicked when I realized how high his fever must be. "You're not okay!"

"Call Evan," he attempted to stand up, but instead he collapsed on his chair and lost consciousness, his head landing on his hand on the table.

"Spencer!" I shouted for help, but since it was already late, we were the only people in the cafeteria.

I didn't know where Evan's room was. All I know was that it was opposite Reid's room, and since Reid was the president, he must be at the first room in the East Wing; that must mean Evan was the occupant at room number two. I took my chances and knocked as urgently as I could. There was noise inside and I knocked again, this time louder. I might have woken up a few of the other boys on the nearby rooms, but I didn't care. The image of Spencer unconscious in the cafeteria kept reappearing in my head.

"Evan, please open up!"

Evan finally opened up and I barely had time to register the naked upper torso and the wet hair before I blurted out that his brother was unconscious. "Please, let's go!"

He didn't need any persuading. Though he wasn't as panicked as I expected him to be, he did seem concerned. We both ran to the cafeteria where I asked the attendant to check on Spencer while I ran for help. He was just as I had left him. "Spencer," I called, shaking him gently, but to no avail.

"Spence?" Evan tried, but still no answer. He didn't hesitate to put Spencer's arm around his shoulders and dragged him up. "Kayleigh, I need your help."

Spencer was taller than Evan, and Evan's body also seemed thinner than his older brother's, so it was impossible for him to be able to carry him on his own. I helped, putting one of Spencer's burning arms around me. The challenge was climbing up the stairs with Spencer's weight dragging us down, but we were both determined to save him. We might not be okay, but I didn't want anything bad to happen to him.

"We have to call a doctor," I suggested as Evan struggled to open his door. Thank God his room was just at the top of the stairs.

"There's no need," Evan answered, surprisingly calm. He had finally opened the door and we dragged Spencer in, where he collapsed on Evan's bed with a grunt.

Spencer's eyes opened slightly. "Evan--"

"It's okay Spence. You're in my room," Evan replied, holding his hand, rubbing the back of his palm affectionately. I swear Spencer's fever was so high that where Evan's hand touched him, it seemed to emit a mist or smoke.

"Please, his fever's dangerously high. Evan, we need help," I demanded, hating that Evan could be calm at this point. "Can't you see, he's--"

"Is that you Kayleigh?" Spencer's weak voice tried to say more, but he was shaking feverishly.

"Yes, it's me," I answered, forgetting to hate him for a moment. "You're going to be okay, Spence," I came nearer and brushed the hairs covering his forehead, wiping at the beads of sweat there. He raised a shaking hand and touched mine, interlocking our fingers together. He lowered our hands on his side and he let out a heavy sigh, a sigh of discomfort. "Spence--"

"Shh," he closed his eyes peacefully. Evan was still holding his other arm and I could see the mist clearer from where I sat on the floor.

"Evan, Alice--"

"I'll tell Kyle to tell her you can't make it tonight," Evan replied even before Spencer could finish his words.

As Spencer whispered that woman's name while clutching at my hand tightly, I felt white-hot pain deep down inside me, at my heart, specifically. That even though it's me who's here with him, that it's me he's holding on to, he was still looking for her, sad that he can't make it to their appointment, and probably wishing that it was Alice who was here now.