The First Time I Saw Your Face (40 page)

‘No. I’ve come to apologise. To everyone.’ He flung his arms wide and Lionel, without glasses, must have mistaken it for a threatening gesture because he took a few steps back, shouted ‘Callous swine!’ and ran from the park.

Mack had soil down the neck of his shirt, his stomach and ribs ached and his leather jacket was scuffed all down one arm, but he didn’t think there had been any real damage done. He crawled over to the seat and pulled himself up on to it. Round One to the peace-loving librarian.

Jennifer ignored her mobile phone ringing and tried not to feel irritation at her mother. She’d already rung to see if she’d arrived safely this morning and again after lunch to check she’d eaten something. It was like being stalked. No, actually it wasn’t. That had been quite different.

If it wasn’t her mother ringing, it was Cressida. They were tortuous, stilted conversations these days. Cressida
was always trying to dampen down her obvious happiness so that she would not appear tactless, and Jennifer underplayed her own misery. That deep connection between them seemed to have fractured. The last phone conversation had ended with Cressida in tears. ‘Jen me having Anna Maria doesn’t mean I don’t need you any more, you mustn’t think that. You never call me any more, it’s always me calling you.’

Jennifer had assured Cressida that she didn’t feel supplanted by Anna Maria; she was happy for both of them; glad that Rory had agreed to finish the film; delighted that Cressida was heading for a long break in Argentina after the end of filming. She would try to ring more often. She was fine, absolutely fine. Really.

Jennifer opened the office door and walked quickly to the top of the stairs. Every day was getting easier. Well, the working and walking and talking bit. Not the thinking bit. She still found herself teasing out every conversation she had ever had with Mack, seeing where he had fooled her, how he had wormed his way into her confidence.

She would not allow herself to think of that last day and night. His actions then were bewildering and she could not think of any motive for them beside pity or guilt. Who wanted to think that someone had slept with you because of either of those?

She should be voicing all of this to Cressida, but she couldn’t bear to bring him up, and her cousin never pressed her. She knew Cressida was being kind, but somehow it made her feel worse – as if what she had done was so
incredibly stupid and naive that Cressida couldn’t stand to go back over it.

She arrived downstairs to see Sheila on the phone. She was looking extremely serious, and Jennifer concluded it must be Reece calling once more. He had managed to break his arm falling off the roof of a car – the details were hazy – and was contemplating coming home, as the owner of the bar he was working in was unimpressed with his behaviour. It had been his car.

Sheila was still offering the odd monosyllabic reply when the door opened and Lionel walked in looking as if he’d been rolling around in a flowerbed. There was mud on the knees of his trousers, and his shirt, which was hanging out, had a tear in one sleeve.

‘Bloody Hell,’ Sheila said, putting the phone down quickly. ‘What happened to you?’

‘I had an altercation.’

Sheila frowned. ‘Is that a fight to the rest of us?’

‘Who with, Lionel?’ Jennifer was unable to grasp the idea of Lionel having a fight.

‘Someone I bumped into,’ he said, reaching under the counter for his glasses. ‘I know it’s not right, fighting, but sometimes a man’s got to stand up and be counted. Defend those who can’t defend themselves. Be brave.’

‘How do you feel?’ Sheila asked.

‘Quite shaky actually.’

‘Run and get him some camomile tea, will you, Jen?’

‘Of course, but who have you been fighting, Lionel?’

Lionel looked as if he was about to answer, but Sheila
plonked him down in a chair and rammed his head between his legs. ‘Camomile tea now, Jen,’ she said firmly.

Jennifer went off to the kitchen, not really sure what to make of any of it, and when she came back with the tea Lionel was still hunched over on his seat.

‘I’m an animal,’ he said, ‘a complete animal.’ He looked so guilt-ridden that what with giving him his tea and sympathy, while also checking out books and answering queries, it was a few minutes before she realised Sheila had disappeared.

Mack was walking over the road with the intention of going to check on Jennifer’s car when he saw Sheila tanking out of the library towards him. Her language was indescribable and so was the pain when she grabbed him by the hair.

‘You and your lovely locks,’ she said, getting a real hiss into that last ‘s’. ‘Let’s see what you look like bald.’

‘Sheila, Sheila,’ he screamed, trying to disentangle her fingers from his hair, ‘please stop, just listen.’

Amazingly she did, but when he straightened up he could see it was not because of him. Sonia was standing a few feet away in a too-short, too-tight dress.

‘What are you doing here?’ Sheila said, her tone aggressive.

‘I’ve come—’ Mack began.

‘I’m not talking to you –’ Sheila nodded towards Sonia – ‘I’m talking to her.’

‘That’ll be a first.’ Sonia folded her arms, making her
dress ride up higher. ‘Been to the dentist, spotted this little creep in the park.’ She pointed at Mack. ‘You owe me money, took off without paying your bills.’

‘Sonia, it’s all right: you were on my list of people to visit.’ Mack reached for his wallet.

‘Typical, Sonia,’ Sheila said, ignoring him. ‘Typical. Not concerned about Jen, just your bottom line –’ there was a perfect pause – ‘which, in that dress, everyone can see.’

‘Well, at least Oxfam hasn’t given me a loyalty card.’ Sonia laughed at Sheila’s rather snug skirt and top. ‘And I do care about Jen.’

Sheila moved nearer. ‘No you don’t, all you care about is money and men. The younger the better. How’s that husband of yours, weaned yet?’

Sonia took one large, furious step towards Sheila. ‘How are those boys of yours, still running wild?’

‘No,’ Sheila blasted back, ‘they’re sitting around waiting for you to come and seduce them like you did their dad. You can say you’ve got the matching set then, you cow.’

Now understanding what had caused the rift between Sheila and Sonia, Mack decided it might be fortuitous to take a step to one side. Slowly, as the women continued to square up to each other, he backed away. They didn’t appear to notice he had gone.

Joe’s mantra stopped his withdrawal. ‘Hey,’ he shouted, ‘you were meant to be having a go at me, not each other. Sonia, here’s some of your money. Sheila, come on, get what you want to say to me off your chest.’

He wished he hadn’t phrased it like that, not with the size of Sheila’s chest.

The women barely looked his way. ‘We’ll get to you in a minute,’ Sonia said.

‘Yeah, later,’ Sheila agreed before they started shouting at each other again. As he walked round the back of the library, they were nose to nose.

Jennifer left Lionel contemplating what an animal he was and nipped out of the library to find Sheila and Sonia at what looked like boiling point.

‘Hey, hey, hey,’ she said loudly and managed to get both of the women’s attention. ‘Come on, Sonia, come on, Sheila. Fighting in the street, you’re better than that.’

Sheila suddenly looked as if she had woken up.

‘Jen, love, you shouldn’t be out here.’ She caught hold of Jennifer’s arm, ‘Let’s get you inside.’

Sonia was looking around, confused. ‘Where’s—’

‘Shut up, you,’ Sheila screamed, ‘not another word. We’ll finish this later. I’ll ring you.’ Jennifer had no time to find that last bit funny before Sheila was almost lifting her in through the library door.

‘What an earth is going on with you two today?’ Jennifer said, smoothing her clothes back down when they were inside the library. ‘Have you been taking testosterone supplements?’

‘Might have done.’ Sheila was looking at the desk.

‘Possibly,’ Lionel agreed and would not meet her gaze either.’

*

Jennifer’s car was parked around the back of the library and Mack patted it warily. After the events of the last half hour he would not have been surprised if it had turned and bitten him. Should he stand by the car or back off a little? Jennifer would know he was here by now, and he didn’t want to look as if he was stalking her.

Not again.

He loitered by the wheelie bins.

‘Waiting for them to take the rubbish away?’ Doug was walking towards him. ‘See you’ve had a run-in with someone already.’

‘Lionel.’

Doug whistled. ‘Lionel, eh? The crowd of people wanting to kill you must be bigger than I thought.’ He was looking over Mack’s shoulder, ‘And you know what? I think your day is about to get worse.’

Mack turned to see Alex rushing towards him and then he was down on his knees again, but this time it was on concrete and he had not been pushed, but punched. He just had time to feel the pain bloom across his back before he was hauled to his feet.

‘You bastard.’ Mack could feel Alex’s spittle landing on his face. ‘What you did to her was unforgivable and you’ve come back for more?’ Mack was being shaken vigorously. ‘No one wants you up here – especially Jennifer.’

His promise, to take whatever was thrown at him and not fight back, shattered when faced with Alex. Mack pushed him away and was pleased to see him stumble on the kerb.

‘Well Jen doesn’t bloody want you either,’ he shouted
and then ducked as Alex threw another punch at him. ‘You were history before I came along.’

This time Alex’s fist did connect with his face and Mack stumbled back against the wall.

‘Shut up, you little prick,’ Alex said, grabbing him by his jacket and twisting him round so that his face was flattened against the stone. Mack felt his arm being pushed up his back and Alex’s mouth was right by his ear.

‘The people who love her are looking after her, putting right the damage you’ve done. I won’t have you upsetting her again. Take this as a warning and go.’

‘So you can move in on her. Smother her? Get her up on that farm of yours and bury her?’

‘I’m protecting her,’ Alex snarled and Mack felt his hair being tugged. His head was pulled backwards before it was smacked forward into the stone. He was so stunned he didn’t feel the pain until he started to slide down the wall.

‘Hey, now,’ he heard Doug say, ‘not his head, not on the wall, that’s too much.’

‘Oh, you think so,’ Alex replied and Mack felt a sharp pain as he was kicked in the thigh.

‘Hey,’ Doug shouted, ‘enough. He’s on the ground. He’s bleeding. Leave it.’

Mack was being lifted to his feet again, but this time it was by Doug.

‘Careful, Doug,’ he muttered, ‘I’m dripping on you.’

Mack saw Alex’s hand was on Doug’s shoulder. ‘Move aside, Doug. Don’t you dare get in my way or I’ll—’

‘Or you’ll what?’ Doug asked sharply, ‘Have me horsewhipped, run me off your land? I’m not your serf, and I say this stops.’

There was some other shouting which Mack didn’t catch as Doug had let him go and he was too busy crumpling on to the pavement and trying to stop the blood from dripping into his mouth. He was aware of Alex stalking away still shouting before Doug returned to lift him back to his feet.

‘Make it easy on yourself,’ he said peering at the cut on Mack’s head, ‘gan and get yourself patched up and then leave.’

Mack tried to shake his head, but it hurt too much. ‘Can’t, Doug. I have to tell Jen how much I love her, make her believe all those good things I told her and forgive me for all the bad things.’

‘It’ll never work. They won’t let you near her. And what you did really was unforgivable.’

‘Got to try.’ Doug’s head appeared to be lengthening and then shortening. ‘Stand still, Doug. I want to know: Postwoman Pat, you asked her out?’

‘You’re gibbering, you soft git, I’m not moving at all. And it’s none of your business if I’ve asked her oot.’

‘That means “no”, doesn’t it? Ooh that’s bad, Doug, very bad, and I’d tell you why if you stopped swaying about. It’s not good Doug, it’s making me feel sick and dizzy. I’ve already bled on your jeans. I think I might vomit now.’

‘Oh, bugger,’ Doug said, ‘why do I get landed with this? Howay. Let’s get you to A&E. Can you walk?’

‘Learned when I was a toddler.’ He felt himself start to disconnect with everything around him except Doug manhandling him along the road.

‘Not a good start to your campaign, is it?’ Doug was saying. ‘You might want to consider some kind of private health insurance if you’re serious about staying up here.’

Jennifer had only just got herself back up into the office when her mother and father appeared in the doorway, with Sheila behind them. Her immediate thought was that something had happened to Danny or Bryony, or even Louise.

‘It’s all right, love,’ her father said quickly, ‘it’s not bad news. Well …’

She saw him look towards her mother.

‘Jen, love,’ her mother said, ‘Doug rang to say he’d had a visit from … from that … that Mack. Earlier. And since then he’s been spotted in Tyneforth. He’s back.’

Jennifer heard the words but there was no meaning underneath them, it was too incredible, too unlikely. But then she thought of all the things that had happened this afternoon. That one scrap of comfort she had dressed herself in over the last four weeks, that it couldn’t get any worse, was suddenly whisked away. She was naked and raw again. He was back? For what? To laugh at her, rub her face in it? Her scarred face? She felt her father’s arm around her shoulders.

‘I’m really sorry,’ Sheila said, ‘your mum couldn’t get you on your mobile, so she rang me and, what with Lionel and then Sonia, I—’

‘Where is he now?’ she asked, feeling the panic start to swirl in her.

‘I don’t know, not outside.’ Her dad had his hand under her elbow. ‘Come on, love, we’ll get you home. Stay there for a bit. Lionel said take as long as you want.’

Jennifer let herself be led out to the car, jumping at every noise and every man who had even a hint of soft brown hair, and on the way out of Tyneforth she could not bear to look out of the car window.

Why was he back?

CHAPTER 42