The Folly (28 page)

I got to Newcastle
a few days before contacting Jeremy
,
and sent a note to the Colonel asking him to meet me at the inn where I was staying.  He came fast enough.  He wanted me to kill Jeremy
and dispose of his body
, but leave
Lady Elizabeth
to him.  He had plans for the lady, he said.  I didn’t know what threat Jeremy represented, but the man obviously wanted him out of the way.  I purchased the boat, sent a note to Jeremy asking him to meet me
,
and you know the rest.”

Elizabeth looked at Simon, horrified.  “You killed two people in cold blood to save your own skin?”

“I did.  I make no excuses for what I’ve done
, my lady
.”  Simon put his pipe in his mouth, watching Elizabeth.  She met his eyes, unflinching.

“Why did the Colonel want Jeremy dead?” 

“He never told me, but I suspect he was afraid of something Jeremy knew.”  Simon turned to Jeremy.  “Care to enlighten us?”

“Hugh Brand was a spy and a traitor.  He had a longstanding association with Rachel Hilson, who extracted information from officers and passed it on to Hugh
;
which he in turn
sold to the French and shared the profits with Rachel.  When I saw Rachel in Newcastle, my suspicions were aroused, especially since they both seemed to prosper unexpectedly. 
I also remembered that Hugh’s mother was French, with family still living in
the Pyrenees
.  Hugh had gone to France often as a child.  He might have still had useful contacts that he
employed
in his spying activities. 
Hugh must have started to worry that I would start to figure things out
,
and decided to keep his secrets safe.  If any of this came to light, he would be charged with
High
Treason.
”

“I still can’t reconcile myself to the fact that Hugh was so
duplicitous
.  He
’
d been so kind and helpful,” Elizabeth sighed. 
“Was Rachel his lover?”
 

“I don’t think so.  Not anymore.  Rachel was more interested in what Hugh could do for her financially
,
and she most likely blackmailed him, forcing him to help her.
”  Jeremy got up and poured himself a cup of ale.  His hand was shaking as he sat back down, looking into the flames.

“Jeremy, are you sorry you killed Hugh?” Elizabeth asked.

“No.  He betrayed his country
,
and he betrayed us.  He deserved what he got.  It’s just that every time I think of what could have happened had Simon decided to go through with Hugh’s plan
,
I feel sick to my stomach.  I would have been dead
,
and you would have been working for Rachel.  It could have been a
horrible outcome for both of us.  Simon, I owe you a debt
of honor that
I will repay any time you ask it of me.”

“You don’t owe me
anything
, Jeremy.  Helping you and Elizabeth was a small, insignificant way of beginning to
atone
for the death of Alfie
,
and those two unfortunate people I killed.  I have a long way to go, but I plan to turn my life around and make my father proud of me, even if
he
might never know it
.” 

Elizabeth heard Robbie McTavish
squealing
as the trap pulled up in front of the house.  The McTavishes were back from church
,
and the time
for
revelations was over.  No one need ever know what happened to Elizabeth and Jeremy Flynn
,
or to Simon Manson.  Come spring, they would leave Scotland and start a new life in
the United States
.  The past would be behind them
,
as would all the follies that led to this moment. 

Chapter
54

The
frigid
January wind moaned outside their window
, rain lashing against the closed shutters. 
Elizabeth
could hear baby Maggie fussing in the next room, ready for her midnight feeding and Neimh’s soothing voice, telling Robbie to go back to sleep.  She wasn’t sure if it was the wind or the baby that woke her up, but she couldn’t go back to sleep.  Elizabeth was physically tired, but her mind was wide awake.  They had been at the McTavish farm for almost a month now
,
and life had fallen into a routine.  It wasn’t the type of life she was used to, but she found it strangely comforting. 

Neimh had been teaching
Elizabeth
how to bake bread and make a simple stew
,
and Elizabeth found that she enjoyed cooking.  Laundry wasn’t as much of a pleasure, but she tried to help as much as she could. 
The first time she watched Neimh skin and gut a rabbit she
’
d been sick, but by now she was used to it, if not ready to try doing it herself.  The men hunted whenever possible, bringing back some much
-
needed meat to supplement their diet of oats and cabbages. 

The baby came in early January
,
and watching Neimh care for her was an education in itself.  Elizabeth had never seen a newborn baby before
,
and she was fascinated by the bond between mother and child.  She frequently asked Neimh if she could hold the baby, enjoying its weight in her arms and inhaling the warm, milky smell.  She would have been close to her time if she hadn’t miscarried
,
and she often thought of the little grave in the snowbound meadow. 

Their time at Tower House seemed like a long-forgotten dream, the only reality the cold and snow outside the window of the little cottage.  Soon the winter would melt into spring and they would leave this
place
.  Jeremy had been talking of buying a printing press and starting a newspaper of his own.  It sounded like a fine idea to
Elizabeth
.  She wondered what Simon would do once they reached the distant shores, but he never spoke of his plans, preferring to keep his secrets.  She was
still wary of him, never forgetting his past.  She would be glad to see the back of him.

Elizabeth turned to find Jeremy watching her in the dark.  He pulled her closer to him, thi
nking she might be cold.  Elizabeth slid her hand down his belly until she found what she was searching for
,
and watched his face as she began to stroke him. “Are you sure?” he whispered.  She nodded, her eyes never leaving his. 
“It’s been long enough.  I
’
m ready.” 

Elizabeth
closed her eyes as Jeremy’s lips closed over her breast, sucking gently, making her shake with desire.  She opened her legs, inviting him to touch her, explore her in ways he hadn’t done since before she lost the baby.  She gasped as their bodies came together, making her feel complete.  She hoped they would make a baby tonight, but if they didn’t there would be plenty of time.  She closed her eyes, carried on the wave of desire until she quivered with pleasure
;
whole at last.  Jeremy was watching her as she opened her eyes, a joyful smile on his face, and
s
he knew that everything would be all right. 

Chap
t
er 55

February 1817

A bitter, February wind blew off the Thames, leaving no corner safe from its bitter embrace
,
as Willa huddled in a doorway, shivering as much from the cold as from the fever that burned within her, ravaging her body.  Her feet were numb with the cold seeping through the thin soles of her shoes, making her teeth chatter uncontrollably.  There wouldn’t be much business tonight, but she couldn’t afford to go back to her squalid, little room.  If she didn’t work, she wouldn’t eat tomorrow.  A couple of inebriated, young swells staggered from a nearby tavern, forcing Willa to leave her sanctuary and step out into the street. 

“Looking for a date, gentlemen?” she inquired,
striving
to keep her voice even.  The young men merely shook their heads, trying to keep their hats from being blown off their heads by the force of the wind
,
as they looked around for a hackney.  Willa stepped back into the shadows, wrapping her shawl tighter around her low-cut bodice.  She would find no custom tonight.  It was a choice between going hungry
,
or freezing to death
,
and she finally resigned herself to an empty belly, making her way back to her room at a nearby boarding house.  She climbed under a moth-eaten blanket without even bothering to undress
,
and fell into a fevered sleep, her last thought before oblivion claimed her being of Edwina.

Coming to London last year had been a vastly different experience than when she came with Elizabeth.  There was no comfortable, warm house with an army of servants to see to their every need.  Now Willa was frightened and alone, seeking to make a life for herself in this huge metropolis, overflowing with humanity.  Willa took a room at a small, respectable inn
,
and set about making enquiries regarding the premises for her shop.  She had much to learn
,
and the facts came as quite a shock.  Even the smallest, most run-down shop she had seen would require
the investment of the greater part of her stash.  The premises, stock
,
and everyday living expenses would cost significantly more than she had in her possession
,
and the tidy sum she had saved now seemed like a mere drop in the bucket
,
instead of the fortune she believed it to be.  Willa knew how to do the most basic of sums, but her mathematical knowledge was enough to understand that her dream would leave her destitute.  Going home was out of the question, so she needed a new plan.  She would safeguard her savings
,
and try to find a position as lady’s maid as soon as possible.  After all, there were plenty of ladies living in London
,
and with Willa’s impeccable references she should have no difficulty in securing a position. 

Two weeks later, Willa was installed in a
n
attic bedroom in the home of Lady Wilcox in Belgrave Square.  She had been very fortunate to find such a good position
,
and tried desperately to please her new employer.  Lady Wilcox was a humorless, middle-aged matron
,
who demanded nothing less than perfection, but Willa was willing to do whatever it took to get into the lady’s good graces.  The pay was fair and her room, small, but adequately heated
,
was
private.  Things were looking up and Willa threw herself into her new job, aiming to make herself indispensable to her new mistress.  She greatly missed the camaraderie she shared with Elizabeth, but that was rare
,
and Willa didn
’
t expect Lady Wilcox to confide in her so soon.  Maybe in time they would develop a rapport, but for now
,
she had to work hard and avoid making mistakes at all cost. 

Willa was so tense the first few weeks that she attributed her fatigue and loss of appetite to her nervousness.  Once she got more comfortable, it would pass.  She just needed time.  But the symptoms did not diminish
,
and soon the truth dawned on Willa’s horrified mind.  She was with child and it would be the end of her.  Lady Wilcox would dismiss her as soon as she found out
,
and she would be thrown out into the street with no character reference or pay.  She would be disgraced and alone, unable to work until after the child was born, and even then, no one would take her on with an infant.  Willa considered writing to Sir Henry to inform him that she was carrying his child, but she quickly dismissed the thought.  Henry would not take kindly to her news
,
and would either ignore her completely
,
or threaten her in some way. 

Lady Wilcox mentioned to Willa that despite being in mourning, Sir Henry was courting a young widow
with a rather large fortune.  The lady was beyond the first flush of youth, but still of childbearing age
,
and very handsome to boot.  Lady Wilcox pretended to be scandalized by Henry’s lack of decorum at looking for a new bride so quickly, but she secretly felt sorry for the man after what he had been through.  He needed female
companionship
to help him get over the shock of losing his young wife and son
,
and he couldn’t afford to waste any time in producing another heir.  What would Lady Wilcox have thought if she
k
new that Sir Henry’s next heir was growing right under her very nose?

The thought of the baby made her sick.  If it had been a child conceived in passion and love, she might have felt differently, but knowing how this child came into being made Willa cringe.  The idea of Henry’s
spawn
growing in her womb made her flesh crawl with disgust, so she tried to do the only thing she could think of.  Willa prepared a concoction her grandmother used to give to women who wished to miscarry.  She was still very early in her pregnancy
,
and she could pass o
f
f a miscarriage as menstrual cramps
if anyone saw her get ill
.  No one would be the wiser.  Willa took the mixture three times, but the baby refused to budge.  She felt nauseous and crampy, but her body
stubbornly
refused to expel the fetus.  The life inside her would not be extinguished
,
and time was running out. 

Willa laced her corset as tightly as she could, but it would be just a matter of months before she began to show.  She would be lucky if she lasted
un
til spring.  Her only recourse would be to leave Lady Wilcox’s employ before her condition was discovered
,
then find another position after the child was born.  She prayed for a stillborn, but if the child lived, she would place it in an orphanage
or a work house
.  Keeping it was out of the question. 

Willa waited as long as she could to give Lady Wilcox notice, telling her employer she had to return home to take care of her ailing mother, but she didn
’
t expect the venom that greeted her explanation.  Lady Wilcox was furious at having wasted time training a new maid
,
and ordered Willa to leave her house immediately.  She withheld the letter of reference and
refused to pay Willa the money still owed to her
, claiming it was compensation for being so inconvenienced
.  Willa left that afternoon, frightened and disgraced.  She still had at least three months until she delivered
,
and her wages would have gone a long way toward her living expenses.  Now she would have to start using her savings in order to survive.  Willa found a room in a boarding house, calling herself Mrs. Adams, the widow of a dock worker.  She took i
n
some sewing to supplement her income
,
and waited for the hated infant to be born.  The sooner she got rid of it, the better. 

The months crawled by, made more difficult by Willa’s loneliness.  She had no one in the city
,
and the few peop
le she met at the boardinghouse
,
she kept at arm’s length.  She didn’t want anyone knowing her business.  Willa was grateful when her pains finally came.  Soon her suffering would be over
,
and she would be able to return to her normal life.  She might not find a mistress as grand as Lady Wilcox, but she would find something and make a new life for herself in this city that was full of possibilities. 

Willa gave birth alone, in the middle of the night
,
in her little, airless room. 
The August night was stifling, not a breeze moving through the small windows of the room. 
She tried not to scream as contraction after contraction tore through her exhausted body, leaving her breathless and sweat-soaked.  Mercifully, it was relatively quick
,
and the babe finally slithered out of her body after only a few pushes.  Willa cut the cord
,
and wrapped her daughter in an old shift, not wanting to soil anything useful. 

She leaned back
against
the wooden headboard
of the bed, gazing
down into the little face.  The baby looked back at her with round, blue eyes full of wonder.  She had a halo of ginger fuzz around her head
,
and a rosebud mouth that began to turn toward Willa, looking for a breast.  Willa ran a finger down the gentle curve of the baby’s cheek, a tear sliding down her face.  She wanted to hate this baby, she really did, but what she felt at the moment was overwhelming tenderness.  She wanted to clutch this little girl to her chest and keep her safe from harm.  All thoughts of work houses and orphanages fled Willa’s mind
,
as the
little mouth finally found what it was seeking and began to gently suck, sending shivers of contentment down Willa’s spine. 

“Hello, Edwina,” Willa whispered.  She hadn’t planned on naming the baby, but the words just slipped out, leaving Willa surprised and pleased.  The name seemed to fit the little person in her arms and she held her closer, kissing the silky strands of hair plastered to her daughter
’
s head. 

Willa recovered quickly and life took on a whole new rhythm.  She took i
n
as much sewing as she could, doing it by candlelight while the baby slept in a little basket by Willa’s bed.  Despite Henry’s coloring, Edwina didn
’
t resemble him at all
,
and reminded Willa of the cherubs she saw painted in church.  She was the most beautiful baby Willa had ever seen
,
and she proudly displayed her to the other tenants, accepting their praise and feeling a strange pride well up in her chest. 

Of course, now Willa couldn’t find a position as a maid.  No one would hire her with a baby, especially as a lady’s maid.  That avenue was closed to her, leaving her with sewing and cleaning, which didn
’
t bring in as much money.  Willa managed to supplement her income, but she had to dip into her savings for rent and food, despite cutting corners whenever she could.

 
By November
,
her next egg was vastly diminished
.  She was always hungry
since
Edwina was sucking her dry
,
and her gums were starting to bleed
,
making her teeth feel wobbly in her mouth
.  Willa needed more money and she wouldn’t get it from sewing.  Her neighbor, Ruby, walked the streets, bringing gentlemen back to her room at night.  She told Willa that she refused to work in a brothel and hand over half her earnings to some Madame or pimp.  She was in business for herself, thank you very much.  Willa’s mind screamed in denial, but she knew she would have to make money somehow without leaving Edwina.  The first time was difficult, but eventually it became easier. 
Thankfully, most men did not expect the things that Henry asked of her.  They wanted a straight forward lay
,
and she gave it to them. 
She fed Edwina and put her in her basket, leaving her alone while she went out into the night looking for customers.  She found at least one
or two
most evenings
,
and it gave her enough money to live on without touching the last of
her savings
.  That was for an emergency. 

The emergency came on a cold night in December
,
when Edwina woke up from her nap with a fever.  Willa didn
’
t go out that night, putting
cool
compresses on the baby’s head
,
and rocking her endlessly as she cried through the night.  In the morning, the baby was burning up, her eyes glazed and her little body limp in Willa’s arms.  She left the baby with Ruby
,
and went for the doctor.  He wasn’t unkind, but he charged her for the visit and the medicine, promising that Edwina should get better by the following day.  She did perk up for a while in the afternoon, but by nightfall, she was burning up again, refusing the breast
,
too weak to
even
cry.  Willa summoned the doctor again, paying for another visit and more medicine.