The Forbidden (21 page)
“Aw, Susannah, Nellie’s not responsible for any wrongdoing.” He observed her closely. “Nobody knows who placed the newspaper ad.”
Her face looked innocent. She was smiling a broad, full smile that stretched clear across her heart-shaped face. But her eyes revealed something else.
“Susannah?”
She folded her delicate hands, her eyes brightening as her eyebrows rose. “Jah, Caleb?”
“Do
you
know who placed that ad?”
In the split second before her face fell, Caleb saw it again. Deception.
“Why . . . Caleb. Why would I?”
Their eyes locked, and she gave him a knowing wink.
Caleb grabbed her arm. “You did it, didn’t you, Susan-nah? You took out the ad for Nellie’s Simple Sweets!”
She opened her mouth to protest but stopped. Glancing down at his grip, she smiled. “You have such strong hands, Caleb. And I do like strong men.”
Immediately he released her. “So you admit it, then?”
Her eyelashes fluttered again. “Ask yourself why Nellie Mae didn’t simply close up the shop when all those En–glischers started linin’ up. In her heart, she’s leanin’ toward the fancy, Caleb, and you know it.” She touched his arm lightly. “Might as well face it: Nellie Mae Fisher will never,
ever
be able to please your father.”
Caleb was stunned at what lengths this girl was willing to go to stir up trouble for Nellie and her family. “Nellie and me—that’s none of your concern!” With that, he turned away, intending to leave Susannah standing alone.
Just that quick, he raised his gaze and spied Nellie Mae standing near the door, her brown eyes piercing his.
His brain was scrambled; his beloved had arrived late.
What had she observed? How long had she been there? He groaned, wanting to talk to her, to set her mind at ease.
Oh, Nellie, it’s not what you think. . . .
Fast as a flicker, she turned her back, as if to shun him.
Then, making a beeline for the barn door, she hurried into the night.
Walking toward the other side of the barn, he wanted to run after her but hesitated, his father’s battle cry ringing in his ears. The hay bales seemed to taunt him as young couples blurred alongside them in his vision.
No!
With all that was in him, he had to right this wrong with Nellie . . . not caring what the grapevine might trumpet back to his father’s ears. In the whole world, there was only one girl for him, and Nellie had to believe that.
Now,
lest she trust what her eyes had witnessed and not what was truth.
Images of what Nellie might have seen raced through his mind—Susannah and himself over in the corner so privately. The brazen girl had touched him more than once, and as if in a dance of sorts, she’d followed each time he’d stepped away.
Caleb winced.
Even though it would mean disobeying his father once again, he knew he could not break Nellie’s heart. He must pursue her.
Not caring what Susannah or anyone else thought, he jogged across the wide-plank boards. He dashed out the barn door into the bitter night, looking to the right and left. But he had waited too long. There went the Fisher carriage, moving rapidly away on the snowy roads.
Himmel . . .
He was disgusted with himself.
You are a
fool, Caleb Yoder.
The white spray of moonlight on newfallen snow could not have been more untimely. Nellie longed for the concealment of darkness as she rushed home with the horse and carriage.
Caleb’s flirting with Susannah? What on earth?
She’d deliberated coming to the Singing at all after taking Nan and Rebekah clear to the other side of Lilly Road. But then, not wanting to spend the evening at home, with Rhoda gone to James and Martha’s, she’d decided in favor of the Old Order Singing. Slipping in ever so late, her eyes had searched for Caleb. Oh, the pain in her heart when she had finally seen him over in the corner with Susannah, all privatelike.
She wanted to cry; she wanted to holler, too. She didn’t know which feeling to express, because she simply could not understand what she’d witnessed. For sure and for certain, Caleb and Susannah had looked like a courting couple!
She tried to remember precisely what she’d observed— the interplay of flirtatious glances, not just Susannah’s, but Caleb’s, too. She hadn’t known for sure how to interpret the dreadful scene, but Caleb had looked mighty guilty when his eyes had met hers.
She’d never before had any reason to distrust him. Yet there he’d been with Susannah . . . why? Had he thought this a good night to cozy up to the deacon’s daughter, since it must have appeared that Nellie wasn’t coming? Had he been seeing Susannah all along?
No, surely not. How could she think such a thing of her darling?
Then she realized it must have been Susannah’s doing; the girl had always made her interest in Caleb perfectly plain.
Yet as Nellie fretted and fumed, she didn’t want to think that way about it, either, presuming Caleb to be vulnerable to Susannah’s wiles.
Like Samson and Delilah . . .
Nellie tried to shrug off the comparison, only to begin to weep so hard she could hardly see her way home.
Caleb rode all over creation, alone in his courting buggy, wishing there was a way to smooth things over with Nellie immediately. Even so, he knew he deserved to feel the way he did. Nellie had fled from the barn, surely believing he’d been caught red-handed. She probably thought little of him now . . . and rightly so.
He drove aimlessly, his mind on Nellie and her sweetness, wondering what it would be like to kiss her soft lips someday . . . if he’d ever have the chance.
Caleb finally arrived home. He eyed the tobacco shed, his worry-sick mind wandering. Although he’d never mentioned it to his father, he thought it wise to tear down the dilapidated outbuilding and build a new one. Daed’s approach to it—or at least what he’d done in the past—was to buttress the whole thing, basically propping it up so it wouldn’t fall down.
His father and grandfather before him had always raised tobacco. There had been some talk against growing the crop lately, though. Tongues wagged and word got around mighty fast when it was a preacher who was declaring it a sin to raise tobacco. Surprisingly enough, a good number of farmers were in agreement with the outspoken Preacher Manny.
He heard some commotion behind him as a courting buggy pulled up to the front of the house, over near the mailbox. He was far enough into the lane to be somewhat disguised, he knew, and a quick glance over his shoulder told him it was his long-lost sister, saying good-bye to a beau. Had she been with him all day?
She was obviously interested in the fellow, for she stood near the buggy, looking up at him as they talked. Then he jumped down and walked her partway to the house.
After Rebekah had gone inside, Caleb let the harness slide down his horse and then heaved it off. Taking his time unhitching the buggy, he pondered his sister’s desertion for the day, so unlike her.
Where
had
Rebekah gone? It was none of his business, really, yet he wondered how she had managed to stay safe and warm on this brutally cold day. Now that he was stabling his horse, he realized how near frozen he was himself. Rebekah could not have spent the day out in this.
He made his way through the stable area and pushed the barn door open. Heading across the way, he heard the crunch of snow beneath his boots, glad he’d worn an extra pair of woolen socks. As he entered the back door, he heard voices—Daed’s and Rebekah’s. This was no time to emerge from the utility room.
“I know where you’ve been!”
Caleb was stunned at the sting in his father’s voice.
Total silence from Rebekah.
“You never think before you act, do you, daughter?”
Caleb cowered, concealing his presence.
“If you were out where I think you were, you ain’t welcome in this house!”
Wisely Rebekah remained silent.
As a lamb brought to
slaughter . . .
“Did you attend the New Order church today?” came the angry inquiry.
“I will not lie, Daed.”
Caleb slumped.
A crack—the sound of his father’s fist slamming against the table, the one he’d made decades before. Surely this blow had split the wood.
Caleb could see there was no talking to Daed tonight about his own decision. No, he would bow out, and quickly, hoping for a reasonable discussion at a later time.
“Get out!” Daed shouted. “I do not want to see the likes of you.”
No!
Caleb wanted to defend his sister, but once again he felt trapped beneath his father’s dominion . . . and his desire to protect any future with Nellie Mae.
What will Rebekah do?
“Jah, I was disobedient,” his sister said meekly. “But I choose to follow my Lord Jesus Christ.”
“Then begone from my sight!”
Caleb heard sniffling, then sobs, as Rebekah dashed up the stairs to pack a bag in submission to their father’s unreasonable punishment.
I won’t let her flee alone into the night,
he decided, slipping out the door to hitch up his poor tired horse yet again.
Nellie’s tears were nearly dry by the time she arrived home. She unhitched the carriage from the horse and left the enclosed buggy near the barn for Dat to tend to in the morning. Refusing to give Caleb another thought, she led their best driving horse into the stable.
Once inside, she hurried to her room, where she sat for the longest time, unable to move.
She heard a creak in the rafters and finally removed her heavy bonnet. Then she reverently removed her Kapp and slowly prepared for bed, slipping into a fresh nightgown. Oh, how she wished the sights of this evening could be shed as easily as her clothes. Now that she was home, she wondered if Nan was back from the New Order gathering. She longed to share her heartache with someone, and Nan was the most natural choice.
Moving silently down the hall, she stopped at what had always been Rhoda and Nan’s bedroom.
So many changes
lately,
she thought, poking her head in the door.
Seeing her sister already tucked into bed and thinking what a comfort it would be to simply slip in next to her, Nellie did just that. She was careful not to lean too hard into the mattress on Rhoda’s former side so as not to awaken her sister. The warmth from Nan’s slumbering body soothed her as she settled herself beneath the heavy layer of blankets and quilts.
Then, lying as still as could be, she realized she could not sleep. The image of Caleb’s handsome face rose up in the darkness—the light in his eyes as he’d talked to Susan-nah . . . the set of his lips, his whole body in alignment with hers, or so it seemed. Would she ever be able to erase the vision of her beloved talking so intently with Susannah? Standing so close . . .
Every breath she took was filled with missing him. Yet he’d deceived her so. She groaned inwardly, struggling to hold herself together in the bed where her older sisters had often talked late into the night, before Rhoda got the ridiculous urge to chase after the fancy.
Nellie recalled the fervent hope in Rebekah’s face—and the upturn of her determined mouth—as she departed for the Singing tonight. What would come of Rebekah’s departure from the Old Order for a full day was yet to be known.
She’s fortunate to have such a faithful friend in Nan.
Nellie slid her hand toward her sleeping sister, stopping when her fingertips touched the edge of Nan’s gown, spread out against the flannel bed sheet.
The hope of sharing her heartbreak with Nan faded with each of her sister’s rhythmic breaths, and Nellie missed Suzy more than ever.
Rebekah’s sadness resonated with Caleb’s own this night.
He sensed it in his sister’s slumped posture as she sat next to him in the carriage, even though she showed no other outward sign of grief. As far as he could tell, her resolve was remarkably intact as they made their way to the Fishers’.
“You sure Nellie’s . . . er, Nan’s house is where you want to stay tonight?”
She was quick to nod. “Ever so sure.” Her teeth chattered. He endured the frigid temperature as best he could, dreading the return ride, chilled as he was to the bone. But Caleb felt he deserved whatever punishment the elements meted out. Hadn’t he broken Nellie’s heart tonight?
That he hadn’t done so intentionally offered no consolation. To think he was heading right now to her father’s house, to shine his flashlight on her window as he had done once before, this time to get her attention for his outcast sister’s sake.
He gripped the reins and tried to will away what had transpired earlier at the Singing—the searing pain in Nellie’s pretty eyes.
“You feelin’ awkward ’bout this? Taking me to the enemy, so to speak?” Rebekah glanced his way.
“No.” He wouldn’t let on precisely how awkward the whole situation was.
“Seems kinda odd, really. And Nan’s goin’ to be surprised, I daresay.”
He considered that. “Well, maybe not.”
“S’pose you’re right.” After all, Rebekah had spent the entire day with the Fishers. Surely Nan could guess what Daed’s response to that might be.
“Did the whole Fisher family attend the new church?” he asked, not wanting to come right out and inquire after Nellie Mae’s whereabouts.
“All but Nellie.”
So there it was. His sweetheart was being true to the Old Ways . . . and to him.
But now? What would happen between them? Would she accept his explanation, once given?
He couldn’t allow himself to ponder that now. Truth be told, he must first see to it that Rebekah was safely settled for the night—take on the responsibility of a good brother, something Daed had unknowingly handed off to him. He shook his head at the memory of their father’s permitting things to escalate out of hand. As far as Caleb was concerned, it was Daed’s fault that Rebekah was out on her ear tonight.
Rebekah was still in her running-around years, not having joined the church yet, so why should she be punished for visiting Preacher Manny’s church?
None of this made a lick of sense.
At last they reached the end of the Fishers’ drive, where he left the horse and buggy, his sister still perched inside.
