The Forest House (35 page)

"Until the Goddess shows you Her will," Caillean finished for her, and the High Priestess of Vernemeton smiled.

Lhiannon was dying. It was obvious to everyone - everyone except perhaps Caillean, who nursed her so
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devotedly and with
a
despairing tenderness, night and day, seldom stepping beyond the room where the sick woman lay. Even those of the priestesses who had always been suspicious of Caillean as an outlander had to admire her dedication now. Both Dieda and Eilan guessed what was coming — but it would have taken a braver woman than either one of them to name it to Caillean.

"But she is so skilled in healing," Dieda said as they carried Lhiannon's soiled bedding down to the river.

"She must know."

"I suppose she does," said Eilan, "but admitting it would make it real." She looked at her kinswoman curiously. Apart from commenting sarcastically that the dirty laundry of a High Priestess smelled no different from anyone else's, and she could not see why a sworn priestess was required to wash it, Dieda had done her share of the work uncomplainingly.

It seemed odd that they should have become such strangers now, when they were sister priestesses.

Working with Dieda these past weeks, when Caillean's attention was fixed on Lhiannon, reminded Eilan how close they had been as girls. Distracted by her thoughts, she tripped on a tree root.

Dieda put out a hand to steady her.

"Thank you," Eilan said in surprise. The other woman glared at her.

"Why are you staring?" said Dieda. "I don't hate you."

Eilan felt the hot color flare in her cheeks, then fade. "You know then," she whispered.

"You are the fool, not I," came the answer. "Cooped up with you and Caillean all this time I could hardly help overhearing something. But for the sake of our family's honor I have kept silent. If any of the other women know your secret, they did not learn it from me. At least pregnancy seems to agree with you. Are you feeling well?"

It was a relief to Eilan to speak of something other than Lhiannon's illness, and it seemed to her that Dieda felt that way as well. By the time they returned to the Forest House, they were more in harmony than they had been in years.

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But a day came when even Caillean could not deny it any longer. Ardanos said that the priestesses must be summoned for the deathwatch. He looked grieved and gray, and Eilan remembered that her kinswoman had once said there was love between them. She thought it must have been a long time ago, or a very strange kind of love.

Certainly it was not at all what
she
would call love, thought Eilan, and surely she was an expert. But Ardanos sat close to the unconscious woman and held her hand; the priestesses slipped in and out to keep watch by twos and threes, and Caillean fidgeted lest they disturb Lhiannon.

"Why does she trouble herself? I do not think anything will disturb the High Priestess any more," Eilan whispered to Dieda, and the other girl nodded, but without words.

It was near sunset, and Ardanos had stepped into the air for a few breaths. Like all sickrooms, this one was hot and close, and Eilan could not blame him for a moment for wishing to escape it. Though it was nearly Lughnasad the light still lingered late. Sunset made a glare in the room, but the angle of the sinking sun told Eilan it would soon be gone. She had crossed the room to light the lamp when she became aware that Lhiannon was awake and looking at her with recognition for the first time in many days.

"Where is Caillean?" she whispered.

"She has gone to make you more tea, Mother," Eilan replied, "Will you have me call her?"

"No time," the High Priestess coughed. "Come here - is it Dieda?"

"I'm Eilan, but Dieda is in the garden; do you want me to call her?"

There was a strange, raspy, rustling sound, and Eilan realized the sick woman was trying to laugh.

"Even now I cannot tell one from the other," Lhiannon whispered. "Do you not see the hand of the gods in this?"

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Eilan wondered if Lhiannon had sunk into the delirium she had been warned might come before the end.

The High Priestess said harshly, "Call Dieda; my time is short. I do not rave; I know very well what I am doing and I must finish before I die."

Eilan hurried to the door to summon Dieda. When they returned, the dying woman smiled as they stood side by side.

"It is true what they say," she whispered. "The dying see clearly.

Dieda, now you must bear witness. Eilan, daughter of Rheis, take the torque that lies beside me - take it!" she gasped for breath, and with trembling hands Eilan picked up the ring of twisted gold that lay on the pillow. "And the arm rings . . .Now put them on . . ."

"But only the High Priestess - Eilan began, but the old woman's eyes held hers with such terrible fixity that she found herself twisting the necklace to open it, and sliding it on. For a moment it seemed cold, then it settled about her own slim throat, warming as if grateful to be close to human flesh once more.

From Dieda came a small, strangled sound, but the rattle in Lhiannon's throat was louder.

Then the High Priestess rasped, "Be it so. Maiden and Mother, I see the Goddess in you now . . .Tell Caillean —" She was silent a moment as if struggling for breath, and Eilan wondered if the old woman was delirious, or if it were she. She reached up once more to touch the heavy gold.

"Caillean is yonder, Mother; shall I summon her?" Dieda asked.

"Go," whispered Lhiannon with more strength than she had before. "Tell her I love her . . ."

As Dieda hurried out, the gaze of the dying woman fixed on Eilan.

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"I know now what Ardanos wanted when he bade me choose you, child, and instead the gods brought Dieda into my hand. He was wrong about you, and yet he did the Lady's will all the same!" Her lips twisted with what Eilan realized was laughter. "Remember — it is important! Perhaps even the Goddess Herself could not tell you two one from the other. Nor the Romans — I see now —" and she was silent again. Eilan looked down at her, unable to move.

She was silent so long that Caillean, returning, asked, "Does she sleep? If she can sleep, then perhaps she may live another moon —" and then, tiptoeing to Lhiannon's side, caught her breath on a gasp and whispered, "Ah, she will never sleep more -"

Caillean knelt beside the bed and kissed Lhiannon on the brow, and then, very tenderly, closed her eyes.

With every moment that passed more expression was fading from the dead woman's face, so that she no longer looked asleep; she did not even look like Lhiannon any more. Eilan hugged her arms, and winced as she felt the hard metal of the arm-ring. She felt dizzy, and cold.

Then Caillean stood, and as her gaze focused on the ornaments Eilan was wearing her eyes widened.

Then she smiled.

"Lady of Vernemeton, I salute you in the name of the Mother of all!"

Ardanos, coming into the room behind Dieda, bent over the dead

and then stood back again. "She is gone," he said in a strange, flat, voice. He turned, and something flickered in his eyes as he, too,

saw the golden ornaments that Eilan wore.

The other priestesses were crowding around them, but it was old Lads the herb mistress who pushed forward and bowed, saying with a strange deference that terrified her, "I pray you, Voice of the Goddess, tell us everything the Holy Lady said with her last breath to you."

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"Lhiannon, may the Goddess rest her, chose an uncommonly awkward season for her dying," Ardanos said sharply. "For we must have a priestess of the Oracle at the rites at Lughnasad, and obviously we cannot use Eilan!" He surveyed the two women before him grimly.

The three days of ritual mourning were past, and Lhiannon laid in her grave; Ardanos was surprised at how much it still hurt when he looked around this chamber where he had always met with her and remembered she was gone. He supposed he would continue to miss her for a long time, but he could not afford to show his grief now. Caillean sat frowning, but Eilan stared at him with wide, unreadable eyes.

He glared back at her.

"You know as well as I do that it is superstition to believe that only a virgin can serve the shrine, but for Eilan to bear the power of the Goddess right now would be dangerous both for her and her child,"

agreed Caillean.

Sexual abstinence was necessary during performance of the great magics - a magic such as the complete surrender of body and spirit necessary for the Goddess to speak through a mortal.

For the power to flow freely, the spirit must be detached from the senses. Thus it was forbidden to do those things that would increase their attraction and clog the pathways, such as eating the flesh of some animals, drinking mead or other liquors, or lying with a man.

"Lhiannon should have thought of that when she chose her," the Arch-Druid replied. "It will not do, you know. It's bad enough that she is still here. But a
pregnant
High Priestess? Impossible!"

"I could take her place in the ritual —" Caillean began.

"And how would we explain
that
to the people? We could have justified a temporary substitution on the grounds that Lhiannon

was ill, but they know that she is dead. Transitions are always delicate. People are wondering if the new High Priestess will survive her ordeal, whether the Goddess will still come to them now that Lhiannon is gone."

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He rubbed his forehead. None of them had had enough sleep for far too long. Caillean's eyes looked dark and haunted, and despite the bloom of pregnancy, Eilan seemed anxious and strained. And well she might be, it occurred to him then. Lhiannon had put them all in a quandary when she chose the girl.

"I tell you this - whatever madness came on Lhiannon at her ending, I will not allow it to destroy all that we have labored so hard to build!" He sighed. "There is no help for it. We shall have to choose again.

There is a precedent; old Helve tried to pass her power to — what was her name? — that poor mad girl who died. And then the council chose Lhiannon."

"You would like that, wouldn't you!" Caillean began, but Eilan, who had been silent for so long the Arch-Druid had almost forgotten she was there, got to her feet suddenly.

"Not until after the ordeal!" she said loudly. Spots of color flamed in her cheeks as the other two stared at her. "They named a new High Priestess after the chosen one failed to carry the power of the Goddess in the ritual, didn't they? What kind of talk do you think there will be if I do not even attempt it? Everyone in Vernemeton knows that Lhiannon chose me."

"But the danger!" exclaimed Caillean.

"Do you think the Goddess will strike me dead? If what I did was such a sin, then She is welcome to do so!" Eilan exclaimed. "But if I survive, you will know that She has chosen me indeed!"

"And what do you propose that we should do with you if you live?" he said acidly. "Your condition will be showing soon, and the Romans will have a good laugh when they see our High Priestess wallowing around with a belly like a pregnant cow!"

"Lhiannon thought of a way," said Eilan. "It was the last thing she said to me. Once the ritual is over, Dieda must take my place and you must pretend that it is she who had to be sent away. You yourself cannot tell us apart, Grandfather, and you have known us both since we were babies!"

Ardanos eyed her narrowly, calculation spinning in his brain. The wretched child might indeed have solved their problem. If the ritual killed her, as was most likely, they would have every right to choose her successor, and if Eilan died in childbirth, Dieda would already be in place, ready to take over with no one
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the wiser. They would do well enough, he told himself, with either girl, for neither would ever think herself quite secure in her office. If the High Priestess needed the support of the priesthood, she would do what she was told.

"But will Dieda agree?" he asked.

"Leave her to me," Caillean replied.

Still wondering at the summons, Dieda faced Caillean in .the chamber that had for so long been Lhiannon's.

"Ardanos has agreed to let you substitute for Eilan after the ordeal of the Oracle. Dieda - you must help us now," said Caillean.

Dieda shook her head. "Why should I care what Ardanos wants when he has never cared about me?

Eilan has brought her troubles on her own head. I will not consent to this deception, and you may tell my father so!"

"Fine words, indeed, but if you are always determined to do exactly the reverse of what Ardanos decrees, then his will still rules you. I suppose if I had told you he opposes this you would have agreed?"

Caillean replied.

Dieda stared at the older priestess, her mind whirling.

"He doesn't at all like it, you know," Caillean added, watching her intently. "He would rather reject Eilan now and make you High Priestess in her place. I think he agreed to suggest the substitution only because he thought you would react in just this way . . ."

"High Priestess?" Dieda exclaimed. "I would never escape from this place then!"

"It would only be temporary, after all," Caillean reflected. "As soon as Eilan's babe is born she would
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return to take up her duties, and then, in any case, you would have to go away —"

"Would you let me go north to be with Cynric?" Dieda asked suspiciously.

"If that is what you desire. But we had thought of sending you to Eriu for advanced training in the skills of a bard . . ."

"You know perfectly well it is what I have always wanted most!" Dieda exclaimed. Caillean looked at her steadily. "Then it seems there is something I still can promise or deny you. If you do this for Eilan

-and for me -I will see that you are allowed to learn from the greatest poets and harpers in Eriu. If you do not, Ardanos will surely make you Priestess, and I will make sure that you rot within these walls."

"You would not," Dieda said. But she felt a chill of fear.

"You shall see," Caillean responded calmly. "There is no alternative. It was Lhiannon's wish, and I will do her will as we all have always done."