The Forgiven Duke (A Forgotten Castles Novel) (32 page)

She nodded and then leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, clinging to him. “Yes,” she said into his neck, kissing him. “Yes.” She clung to him, saying it with her whole body. “I will be your wife.”

His heart soared with happiness. He hadn’t bribed her. Of course not. She was about to say yes anyway. Of course she would be his wife. He’d been subconsciously planning it since her first letter. He’d been conscious of it since the masquerade. And she’d accepted him, loved him despite everything that had happened to him in the last year. He shoved the thoughts aside and kissed her more deeply, losing them both in the world of touch.

They
would
be happy together.

He would make sure of it.

Chapter Thirty-Three

S
he wasn’t pregnant.

The banns had been read. The white dress trimmed in pearls and aquamarine stones, the color of her eyes, lay perfect in every way on the bed ready to slip into. The church overflowed with thousands of waiting guests, and the streets surrounding it thronged with Londoners eager to get a peek of the Duke of St. Easton’s bride. And thanks be to God,
she wasn’t pregnant
.

Alexandria Featherstone stared at her family crest on the stationery from home that said Ann and Henry couldn’t make the journey and represent her only family for the biggest event in her life. Her thumb brushed across the wax seal, reading the Featherstone motto on the banner over the lion and eagle’s heads:

Valens et Volens
—“Willing and Able.”

Was she?

Clarissa, the maid assigned to her since coming to Gabriel’s household, burst through the door. Alex had always been thankful that Clarissa wasn’t the shy sort who held Alex in any kind of esteem. No, she was the chatty, gossipy friend sort who had helped Alexandria navigate the household and instructed her about the duties of a duchess. And today was no different.

“Gracious me! Look at the time, my lady. We have to get you dressed and into the carriage within the hour.” When Alex didn’t move, she glowered at her and shook her head. “Come now, no time for bride’s nerves. Bless the saints, at least we have your hair done. Come, come.”

Alex let her chatter wash over her and calm her nerves. She had had her woman’s time two weeks ago, days after her engagement became official. The relief had left her reeling with both happiness and shock. And even though that news had been welcome, she had felt a surprising stab of sadness that John would die without legacy. She could have given him that, at least. Still, she was terrified of her wedding night. What would Gabriel discover? Would he be horrified if he found out she was no virgin and hadn’t told him? Any normal man might be.

She took a shaky breath and turned as her maid directed. There was no backing out of it now. She loved Gabriel. He loved her, as he’d told her several times over the last three weeks during which the reading of the banns occurred. They would work through it together. She would tell him, just not yet. Not today! She couldn’t ruin their wedding day. But something kept whispering to her that this was the only day left. The last day he could change his mind.

She had been trying to get up the nerve to tell him every day since agreeing to marry him, but she froze every time she thought of it. She just couldn’t seem to get the words out of her mouth. And now, she couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen on her wedding night. He would discover the truth on his own, wouldn’t he?

She stepped into the white gown and stood rigidly as Clarissa buttoned the row of pearl buttons. “Now, there isn’t any reason to be so nervous, my lady. Why, the duke is happier than we’ve ever seen him. He left for the church an hour ago with that handsome friend of his, Lord Albert Bartrom. Why, his lordship and the duke were joking and laughing and having a right good time all the way into the carriage, both of ’em looking so dapper in their uniforms.”

She turned Alex and began straightening the folds of the sleeves and the skirt. “And the dowager duchess is all smiles.” Her voice lowered in a grumble. “And we know how often that occurs, almost never.” Her voice brightened again. “Lady Jane is teary eyed, happy tears, you know, and so pretty in her pink dress as your attendant. They wanted to come up, but I said to give us a minute to get you in all your glory and they’ve listened for once. Mr. Meade keeps talking about that time you shot him.” Clarissa leaned back and eyed Alexandria with laughing hazel eyes, her brown curls bobbing on the sides of her cap. “I still can’t fathom your sweet self shooting anyone.”

“It
was
an accident,” Alex interrupted.

“Yes, well he’s taking credit for endearing you to us. And the duke’s other sisters are said to be at the church already. Have you heard about the crowds? Why all of London has turned out in the streets, and we don’t know how we’re going to get you to the church on time.”

Alex had heard about the crowds and it only made her more nervous. A sudden knock at the door gave her a jump.

“There now, that’ll be the dowager and Lady Jane.” Clarissa rushed to the door and flung it wide. True to her words, Gabriel’s mother and sister came inside.

“Oh, Alexandria. You look so beautiful! Doesn’t she, Mother?”

“She does.” The dowager, having softened toward the idea of their marriage in the last three weeks, saying she was glad her son had finally found someone and could get to the business of producing an heir, looked as misty eyed as Jane.

Jane came forward and took Alex’s hands. “I’m sorry your parents couldn’t be here to see you, Alexandria. You must miss them terribly today.”

Alex nodded and bit down on her lower lip with sudden tears in her eyes at the thought of it.

“Good heavens, Jane. Don’t bring that up,” Her Grace admonished.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Jane squeezed her hands and then backed up. “We’ve brought you something borrowed and something blue.” She held out two wrapped packages.

Alex smiled, telling Jane with her eyes that she wasn’t upset at her for the comment. “That was so kind.” She sat in one of her bedchamber chairs and unwrapped the first gift. Inside, on a bed of white velvet, lay two teardrop-shaped earrings with large, blue topaz stones and diamonds surrounding them. Alex could only stare at them for a long moment. “They are amazing.”

Jane nodded happily. “They match your eyes and the gems sewn into the dress.” Jane handed her the second package.

Her Grace lifted her chin and spoke with pride. “This has belonged to the Duchesses of St. Easton for over two centuries. Until you are pronounced husband and wife, it is still mine and can be your item borrowed. After today, you will be the Duchess of St. Easton and it will belong to you until your firstborn son marries when you will give it to his wife.”

I am about to become the Duchess of St. Easton.

For the first time the impact of what that meant struck her. Her stomach quivered as she took the small package and carefully unwrapped it. There, in a pile of tissue paper, lay the most delicate tiara she’d ever seen. Small and dainty but with hundreds of diamonds mounted on what looked like spun silver. “I can’t,” Alex said. Just the thought of picking it up made her nervous. What if it snapped in half?

“You must,” the dowager insisted. “Let me.” She came and took the piece in her gloved hands. There were tiny combs along the edge that she slipped into Alex’s hair with practiced ease.

“Alexandria, it’s perfect. Come see.” Jane took her hand and led her to the mirror.

Alex looked at her reflection, shock and joy and terror warring within her. Was she really about to get married?

They heard bells from afar. “The church bells!” Jane shrieked, eyes bright with panic and laughter.

“Saints preserve us!” Clarissa clapped her hands as if leader of an army. “We have to get her to the church!” They all laughed, Gabriel’s mother even cracking a smile.

Alex let the excitement of the day wash over her. Gabriel would be her husband soon!

Her husband.

When she thought back to that simple girl on Holy Island, waiting . . . wishing her life would hurry up and really begin, praying God would send her on her own adventures, so much longing, so much hope—well, she’d never in all her daydreaming dreamed of this. She had found love and to a man unfathomable to that girl. She had grown up and found her place in the world. A shot of joy pulsed from her spirit through her soul and then sent tingles through her body.

This was no time to worry about the bad things of the past, nor the mystery that was the future. This was the time to live the moment where all her dreams were coming true.

With that thought, she pushed her worries aside and rushed with her new family from the room.

AFTER WHAT SEEMED HOURS OF
being clogged in the horrific crush around the church, the guards Gabriel had insisted accompany them flanking their carriage from every side before and behind, they finally arrived.

Alex stepped from the duke’s glossy carriage and walked, guarded all around and so overwhelmed she was numb inside, into Westminster Abby. She was greeted by splendid pages in the duke’s royal blue livery, looking like young princes themselves. They bowed and scraped as she passed by as if she was already the duchess. They opened the massive doors for her and stood like rigid statues, chins up and looking only forward. Alex nodded her thanks and swept inside.

All of her confidence drained away as she stopped inside the grand, echoing entrance and inhaled. The church was like nothing she’d ever seen—gothic with a rich, ancient air that sent goose bumps up and down her arms. She looked up at the vast, vaulted ceilings that looked like row upon row of stone fans as far as she could see. The ceiling was upheld by fluted columns with massive stone bases attached to the pale marble floor. The walls held the paintings of kings and saints, twice her height, and farther down, past the entry and into the main part of the church, were rows of colorful flags.

She peered forward, down the long aisle toward the altar, visible but small from so far away. She looked for Gabriel, noting the people in their best finery and hats seated ahead through the arched entries, but couldn’t see him. There were so many people, murmuring people on rows of elegant benches, a thousand faces she didn’t know. She felt too small to move . . . too insignificant to be here, too stained with sin to remain standing. She felt the presence of God in this place.

It took everything in her not to run away or fall on her face and weep. She stood frozen, more afraid than she’d ever been in her life.

“Alexandria, do not even think of fainting.”

She turned around to the familiar voice. “Montague!”

A broad smile swept his face and joy shot from his piercing blue eyes. “Come here, child.”

His face brought back a deluge of emotions—joy, sorrow for John, his nephew’s death. Sorrow for a moment that she couldn’t tell him she was pregnant and that they would yet have a part of John with them. Relief—both that she wasn’t pregnant and that he was here for her. And love, mostly love, the kind she would feel for a father. If she couldn’t have her parents with her, then Montague was the next best thing.

You are so good to me, Lord.
Her heart cried out the prayer as she smiled at this man who had been her protector, her friend.

He met her halfway. Her legs wobbled and she had to clutch the heavy skirts up, but she managed to make it to his side and into his arms. He held her for a moment and then pushed back to see her face. His voice was quiet yet strong, echoing across the ceilings of the ancient church. “I’ve come to walk you down the aisle, if you will have me.”

She pressed a hand against her mouth, tears threatening. “How did you know?”

“That you are marrying the duke?”

Alex nodded. “And that I needed you.”

“He asked me to come. Well,” Montague chuckled, “commanded is the better word for it. Sent a fancy carriage for me loaded with food and drink and ten outriders. As if I needed all of that.” He looked at her intently. “Is this what you wish, Alexandria? I thought it might happen this way, but I need to hear it from you. Do you love him?”

“I do.” She nodded, missing her parents and yet so glad he was here and she didn’t have to do this alone. “But how can you bear to be here . . . after all that’s happened? After he . . . shot John?”

Montague gazed deep into her eyes. “How can
you
bear it . . . after all that’s happened . . . after he shot John?”

“I’ve forgiven him.” The words rushed out and she realized it was true. She had forgiven him, more than she’d forgiven herself, for everything that had happened.

“And so have I.” Montague’s deep voice echoed across the cavernous antechamber. “People say one can forgive but they cannot forget, and yet forgiveness is that very thing—forgetting, trusting again as if it had never occurred, and trusting God to take care of us when people fail us. That’s how God forgives us, as far as the east is from the west, that’s how far He has removed our transgressions from us.”

Gabriel loved her. He would be like that. He would understand. When she told him the whole story, he would forgive her too.

Alex kissed Montague’s cheek. “Thank you for coming, Montague. I am ready now.”

He chuckled and took her arm. With a signal from some unknown person, the notes of an organ swelled into life. Jane hovered behind her, spreading the train of her gown, and then followed after them as Alex began down the long white aisle toward her future.

WAVES OF VIBRATION STARTED UP
Gabriel’s legs and filled his body with a humming roar.

The organ had begun to play.

He turned, straining to see her down the long aisle, heart pounding with hope that made him feel alive, lighting inside in vibrant white glowing streaks of pure joy.
Come to me, my beloved Alexandria. Come and marry me.

When her face came into view, the room filled with colors. Streaking and dancing, shooting across the wide space and dissolving before he saw the full form of it. The silent room lit up—alive—the air moving and glowing, surrounding and encircling her. He could hardly bear it, it was so powerful. It nearly drove him to his knees.