The Friends We Keep (Mischief Bay) (31 page)

He rose and walked around to stand next to her. “I won’t accept that. I want everything you have, Nicole. No holding back. No excuses. Just your heart.” He put his hand on her shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere. Take your time. I love you. That’s not going to change.”

And then he was gone.

She sat in front of her cooling drink and did her best not to cry. This was better, she told herself. This made sense. Being safe. Making the sensible decision. She and Tyler were fine on their own. If it was just the two of them, she could keep him safe. Yes, their world was smaller, but wasn’t it worth it? To be sure?

She reached across the table. There was no one there to take her hand. No one to smile at her. To laugh. To say the right thing. She felt herself weakening. Jairus wasn’t Eric.

But he also didn’t come with any guarantees. Eric had promised to love her forever. She would accept the divorce, but not that he’d walked away from his own son. That he’d sent papers from his lawyer so he never had to see Tyler again. Because it was too much trouble.

She wanted assurances. She wanted to know and all Jairus could do was promise. In her world, a promise simply didn’t count. Not anymore.

* * *

“You can interview the families, if you’d like,” Amanda, an attractive fortysomething African-American woman, said. “We have several dozen in our files. You can pick your top two or three and we’ll go from there.”

Gabby sat close to Makayla, her hand on the teen’s back. Her stepdaughter was tense and she had trouble meeting the adoption counselor’s gaze.

“I don’t want someone close,” she said in a whisper. “I want a couple who lives on the other side of the country.”

“Of course. That’s not a problem. Any other criteria?”

Makayla shook her head. “Just that they’ll be good to the baby.” She sniffed. “Gabby and I went to the doctor yesterday. It’s a boy. Does that matter?”

“No.” Amanda’s smile was kind. “Most of our prospective parents aren’t concerned about gender. But it’s nice that you know already.”

Gabby hadn’t been sure Makayla would want to know but when the technician had asked if she was interested in the sex of the baby, the teen had said yes.

“It doesn’t change anything for me,” Makayla said now. “I just wondered.”

Amanda walked them through the process. They talked about how the parents would be chosen.

“What we find works best is one or two meetings as soon as you have your finalists, then you make the choice. You can stay in touch with them through the rest of your pregnancy, if you’d like.”

“They’ll be here when the baby is born?” Makayla asked.

“They can be.”

“I want them right there. I want them to take him as soon as he’s born.”

Gabby moved her hand to Makayla’s lap. The teen gripped her fingers tightly.

“I don’t want to see him.”

Amanda nodded. “I understand. Now about the biological father. You mentioned something about him signing away his rights?”

“I have the paperwork,” Gabby told her. “He has no problem with Makayla giving up the baby for adoption.” She’d phoned Boyd’s mother, just to be sure. “If there are more forms, he’ll take care of them.”

“Then this should all go very smoothly. Let’s talk a little about a few of the couples we have who meet your preliminary criteria.”

Gabby stayed close while Makayla looked through the folders of prospective parents. While she tried not to offer an opinion, Makayla kept looking at her and asking, “What do you think?” After a couple of hours, they’d narrowed the list down to three couples. One was from North Carolina, one from Florida and the last couple was in Maine.

“I like them best,” Makayla said as she and Gabby walked to the car. “They both work for the forest service, so he’ll get to be outside a lot. I liked their letters, too.”

Gabby nodded. “Hers especially.” The wife had gone through surgery while still a teenager and it had left her unable to have children. “Plus, they’re both from big families, so there will be lots of cousins to play with.”

“It’s an important decision.” Makayla sounded tired. “I don’t want to make a mistake.”

Gabby put her arm around her daughter. “You won’t. They’ve all been thoroughly vetted by the agency. Any one of the three would be a great choice. If you start with that premise, then it’s just the matter of which couple speaks to you the most.”

Gabby unlocked the SUV.

“Let’s talk to your dad tonight and get his opinion. The choice is yours, but maybe the three of us talking it out will help you decide.”

“I’d like that.” Makayla sighed. “I guess you should take me to school. I can still get to all my afternoon classes.”

The girl’s obvious discomfort at the idea made Gabby want to protect her from the world. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have to walk the halls of high school while pregnant. Talk about a nightmare.

“Why don’t you take the afternoon off?” she offered. “You can get your assignments online and do them at home.”

“Really?” Relief brightened her whole face. “That would be wonderful. Thank you.”

“No problem.”

Gabby got in the SUV and started the engine. As she drove out of the parking lot, she told herself this was it. She had to commit, one way or the other. Was she really willing to do it? Because once she committed, she couldn’t back out.

She searched her heart and found only love for the teen next to her. As for her job, well, that had been a mistake. She’d been trying to recapture who she’d been when she’d quit. That woman was long gone. She needed to think about who she was now and what she wanted. Which was going to make for a very interesting conversation with Andrew later that day.

Chapter Thirty

Hayley hesitated outside the hospital room. She felt nervous, which was silly. She was bringing lunch to a sick kid, nothing more. Well, that wasn’t true. In addition to the burger, fries and a milk shake he’d requested, she’d brought a stack of books. Still, what if Noah didn’t want to talk to her?

She drew in a breath, squared her shoulders and walked into his room.

“Hi, Noah.”

The boy looked up and grinned when he saw her. “Hayley. I wasn’t sure you’d come back.”

“I said I would, didn’t I? Plus, what was I going to do with this?” She held up the bag from Gary’s Café. “As requested, a cheeseburger, fries and a chocolate shake.”

Noah raised the bed. “That sounds great. Thank you. I don’t know how much I can eat. I had a bad night.”

Hayley pulled up a chair and sat next to his bed. “You don’t have to eat any of it. I won’t mind at all. I can throw it out so the smell doesn’t bother you.”

“No way. I want to try.” He grinned. “It’s been a long time since I had a burger.”

She moved the rolling table closer and set the bag in front of him. As he pulled out the burger, she tried not to stare at his bald head. It was just...he looked so vulnerable, she thought. Defenseless. To have to deal with cancer as a kid was awful, but to do it alone. She couldn’t begin to imagine. If it had been her, her parents would have been camped out in the hospital. They would have dragged Morgan along. Her sister would have complained loudly about Hayley getting all the attention, but they would have been there for her.

Because they were her family, she thought. Flaws and all. She regretted taking the scenes of her childhood and twisting them into something bad. Something that had scared her. Especially when it hadn’t been necessary.

Noah took a bite and chewed. His eyes widened with pleasure.

“Wow,” he mumbled, then covered his full mouth.

“Yeah, I know all the best burger places,” she joked. “Stick with me, kid.”

He grinned and took another bite, then offered her his fries.

She took one. It was still warm and salty.

“How’s your nephew?” Noah asked.

“He’s good. The surgery went well and he should be going home in the morning. He’ll miss a couple of weeks of school, which he’s very excited about.”

Noah rolled his eyes. “A lot of kids don’t like school, but I do. It’s fun to learn new stuff. Better than being home sick.”

She would guess that nearly anything was. “How long are you going to be in the hospital?”

“A couple more weeks. This is my second round of chemo and they think it’s going to be my last.” He put down the burger. “Sorry. I can’t eat any more right now.”

He’d taken two bites.

“It was really good, though.”

Hayley shook her head. “So you’re saying that whole burger-fries thing was cheap talk?”

He grinned. “Yeah. But I think I can drink the milk shake.”

“Don’t worry if you can’t.”

A nurse in cheerful scrubs walked in. “Hey, Noah.”

“Hi, Minerva. This is Hayley.”

Minerva looked surprised. “Nice to meet you. Are you Noah’s foster mother?”

“She’s a friend,” Noah told the nurse. “Her nephew broke his leg and she’s visiting.”

“Oh, sorry about the accident.” Minerva turned to Noah. “I need a blood draw.”

Noah sighed. “Minerva’s part vampire, but I like her anyway.”

“I can’t help it. Your blood is so appealing.”

Hayley stood. “Let me get out of your way.”

Minerva waved her back into the chair. “You’re fine. I have a port I use.”

“It’s easier,” Noah explained. “They can get blood when they need and give me drugs. It’s kind of gross, but I’m used to it now. It doesn’t hurt.”

Hayley watched the nurse fold back his hospital gown to reveal an IV connection in his upper chest. Minerva pulled a sealed needle out of a protective sleeve. Hayley instinctively reached for Noah’s hand. He squeezed her fingers.

“It’s okay,” he promised.

“I’m trying to reassure you. Not the other way around.”

He grinned. “Okay. If you insist.”

“I do.”

When Minerva left, Hayley stayed a few more minutes, then glanced at her watch. “I have to get back to work. Want some company tonight?”

“Sure. If you want to stop by.” He looked at her. “You don’t have to, you know. Visit me. I’m used to taking care of myself.”

“I’m sure you are, but I’d still like to stop by. Anything else you wouldn’t like to eat?”

He laughed. “Chocolate chip cookies.”

“You’re on.”

* * *

Gabby didn’t bother closing the bathroom door. There was no point. It was close enough to dinner that the pets were following her everywhere. No matter how many times she pointed to the clock and explained they had another hour, they didn’t bother learning to tell time.

So she peed with Boomer sitting patiently on the mat by the tub and Jasmine rubbing against her legs. When she returned to the chaos of the kitchen, Makayla was at the table with the twins coloring. The smell of rosemary and garlic from the rub she’d made filled the room. The brownies she’d made earlier were cooling on a rack. A salad was in the refrigerator. She’d marinated vegetables that would go on the grill along with the pork chops. Andrew had promised to be home right at five-thirty. If he made it, he would be in charge of the cooking—otherwise she would get it started.

She walked over to the table and put her hand on Makayla’s shoulder. The teen smiled at her, then handed Kenzie another crayon.

This was what she wanted, Gabby thought. Time with her family. Not the crazy stress of her supposed part-time job. Not reading briefs and analyzing new laws. She wanted to be working with actual people. Kids and adults. She wanted to help in a way that made sense to her.

Several hours later, when the twins were in bed, Gabby, Andrew and Makayla sat around the kitchen table. They’d already discussed the three couples Makayla was considering. Andrew had asked several good questions about them, but then had agreed with Gabby.

“There’s no wrong decision. You have to do what you think is right.”

Makayla nodded. “I like the couple from Maine the best. I want it to be them.”

“Why don’t you take a couple of days,” Andrew began.

Makayla cut him off. “Dad, I’m not going to change my mind. I know I’ve been immature about a lot of things. Especially when I first thought I might be pregnant. Thinking that Boyd and I would be together always. Well, that was stupid.”

Gabby leaned toward her. “No, it wasn’t. You trusted him and believed in him. That’s not immature. That’s not wrong. The person making the mistake was him, not you.”

“I was unrealistic. I’m fifteen and he’s only a year older. How were we supposed to like raise a child together? This is better. I’m not going to want to keep the baby. He needs to go to a good home where the parents are ready for him.”

Gabby hugged her. “You’re doing really well.”

“Thanks.”

Gabby straightened. “Okay, my turn.” She looked at her husband. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot. Makayla isn’t comfortable at her high school and I don’t think she should keep going there.”

His expression was cautious. “We talked about this. Where would she go?”

Gabby thought about the research she’d done. “It’s just a suggestion, but I could homeschool her for the rest of the school year. I’ve looked online and there are some excellent programs.”

She had more to say—that scholastically, it would be a challenge. Makayla wouldn’t be skating through her studies. Instead, Gabby would choose a well-respected program that would be the equivalent of advanced placement in several subjects. That when Makayla returned to high school the following September, she would be ahead of her classmates.

But there wasn’t a chance because Andrew was staring at her openmouthed and Makayla was out of her chair and jumping up and down.

“Yes!” the teen crowed. “I want that. I’ll do everything you say. I’ll do my homework and study and be the perfect student. Yes. Yes!”

Andrew pulled himself together enough to ask, “Gabby, are you sure?”

“I’ve been thinking about it for a while.”

“You’d have to quit your job.”

“I know. To be honest, I don’t want to work there anymore. I hate it. I’m not a lawyer anymore. I don’t know when that changed, but it did. I want to homeschool Makayla and then when she goes back to high school, I want to return to college and get my master’s in educational administration.”

Andrew laughed. “You want to be a principal?”

“Eventually, yes. I’ve learned a lot dealing with Makayla and her pregnancy. I think I could help.”

“Damn, you constantly surprise me. Good for you.” He looked at his daughter. “All right. So we’re in agreement? Gabby’s going to homeschool you through June.”

Makayla hugged them both. “Yes. It’s going to be great. You’ll see.”

“It’s going to be interesting, at the very least.” Gabby held on to her. “I have a lot of ideas about different things we can do.”

“I can’t wait to hear what they are,” Makayla said. “Now I’m going to go upstairs and write a letter to the couple in Maine. Oh, once I tell Amanda they’re the ones, do you think we’ll get to know their names?”

“I’m sure we will.”

“Cool.”

The teen left. Andrew stood and drew Gabby to her feet. He kissed her.

“How do I thank you?” he asked. “For all of this?”

“You don’t have to. I want to help.” She put her hands on his chest. “It’s strange. When I first found out she was pregnant, I felt trapped and angry. But somehow her being pregnant has brought us closer. She’s important to me, too. I want her to be happy. The next time she gets pregnant, it’s going to be our grandchild, not just yours.”

He kissed her again. “Thank you, Gabby.”

“Thank
you
. If we hadn’t fallen in love, I wouldn’t have any of this.” She leaned against him. “You’re my handsome prince, Andrew. Even when you make me crazy.”

“Then my work here is done.” He bent down so he could whisper in her ear. “So, what are we going to do with the rest of our evening?”

“How about something naughty?”

* * *

Nicole wiped her hands on the sacrificial towel and stepped back to look at the mural. She’d been working on it nearly every day. The painting had gone slowly. She had neither Jairus’s talent nor his patience. But it was important to Tyler and if her son couldn’t have the friend he adored, at least he could have his work.

Nearly a week had passed since she’d last spoken to Jairus. A week of sleepless nights and long, sad days. A week of Tyler asking when Jairus was going to be home.

Because for the first time in her life, she’d lied to her son. Rather than tell him the truth, she’d said he was back on tour. She kept promising herself she would explain everything, just as soon as she figured out what she was going to say. Or rather how to phrase it. Because what had happened had been awful...and her fault. She was going to have to tell her son that they weren’t going to be with Jairus because she was afraid.

Afraid to love, afraid to be hurt. Afraid to trust. She was a coward. And rather than face those fears, she would walk away from him. Had walked away, hurting not only herself, but Tyler, too.

She studied the mural, the bright colors, the careful lines that brought the ever cheerful Brad to life. A boy and his dragon, she thought sadly.

The doorbell rang. For a second she allowed herself to hope that it was Jairus. That he’d shown up to talk some sense into her, to insist that she give him another chance. But when she pulled open the door, there was only a uniformed delivery woman with a slim package.

“If you’d sign here, ma’am,” she said, handing over her tablet.

Nicole scribbled her name, then took the envelope. She hadn’t ordered anything. There was no return address.

She turned the package over in her hands before opening it. Inside was a book. No, not a book. Just loose pages bound together. The cover showed a familiar red dragon and the title:
Brad the Dragon and Tango Girl
.

Nicole sank to the floor. She was crying before she turned to the first page.

The story was simple. Brad met Tango Girl—a pretty blonde dragon who danced. Brad and Tango Girl went to dinner and out on the beach. Brad fell in love with Tango Girl and asked her to marry him. Only Tango Girl said no. The second to the last page showed Brad crying big, fat dragon tears. The last page was blank, except for a Post-it that said:
I’m hoping for a happy ending
.

There was nothing else.

Nicole closed her eyes and told herself she would be fine. That this wasn’t a big deal. Yes, it was a lovely gesture, but it didn’t have to mean anything unless she wanted it to. She’d made her decision. She wasn’t going to be swayed by...

A book? The story wasn’t the problem. Nor was the unwritten ending. The real problem was her. She’d always prided herself on being self-sufficient. On taking care of business. On being a good example for her son. So what was all this? Her teaching him it was better to lie and be afraid than tell the truth? What was she showing herself? That she would rather be alone and safe than take a chance on a wonderful man who loved her?

She got up and walked back into Tyler’s room. The mural dominated the space. Everything about it was happy and positive. Jairus had only been in their lives a few short months, yet he’d already left his mark. Was she really going to lose him because of something he might never do?

Fear battled with hope and love. She knew what she wanted and she knew what was right. For once, they were the same thing.

She ran to the kitchen and collected her purse, along with her cell phone. She was still holding the book.

It only took ten minutes to drive to Jairus’s house. She raced up to the front door, which opened before she got there.

He stood in the door and smiled at her. “I hoped Brad would get through to you when I couldn’t.”

She flung herself at him. Her purse and the book fell to the floor as she buried her head in his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I was so scared. No. Terrified. I love you and I want to be with you. I love you, Jairus. I’m sorry for not being able to deal with that sooner.”