The Game (22 page)

"Emilia, it's so good to see you again," she said in greeting. Her hands were full of samples she brought along with her. I was surprised she didn't bring any assistants along, but was also grateful I wouldn't have to deal with another pair of curious eyes.

"You too. You look good," I said, taking some of the packages out of her hands. We walked toward my living room where she set out the items on my couch.

She stood staring at me a moment, not saying a word. I could tell by the look of concern on her face she wanted to talk. I was sure she knew exactly what had happened between Rob and me. If she didn't read all about it in the papers, then Lily had probably told her everything.

"So," she said, hesitantly, taking a seat on the couch.

"So," I repeated.

"How are you?" she asked, emphasizing the words as if to impart greater meaning to them.

"I've been better," I said. "I'm glad to see you, though. I've been looking forward to this, you know? I think I just need to distract myself with pretty dresses and other girly things for a while," I laughed.

"I'm your girl," Mel said smiling. "So, I've brought a couple of samples that caught my eye, and I thought of you immediately. But if you don't like it we can go back to the drawing board."

She reached toward one of the garment bags and unzipped it, pulling out a one shouldered silver gossamer gown with crystal embellishments, and a thigh high split. It was sexy, and bold, and I instantly fell in love.

"It's beautiful," I said.

"Yes, it's Versace. I knew you'd love it. It's just your style," she gushed.

"I think this is the one," I said. "I don't even need to see the other dresses you got."

She laughed. "Well, that was easy."

I tried on the dress and was blown away. I looked amazing and I hadn't felt this good in a while. It was exactly the boost of confidence that I needed.

The dress would be perfect for the awards ceremony. I wasn't about to slink away and hide myself like a wallflower. Once I had decided to go despite not being nominated, I knew I wanted to make a splash. I wanted to be bold and show people I wouldn't be cowed. Yes, I'd been humbled, and yes, I'd learned a lesson, but no one and nothing would take my confidence or self-worth away. As silly as it was, this dress would help me make that statement. I would come out swinging and hold my head up high.

"Thank you for bringing me this dress," I said once I'd changed back to my black tights and sweater. "If I'm going to be out at all, I might as well look good, right?"

"Exactly. What made you decide to go anyway?" she asked. "I mean if I were in your shoes, I'd probably stay home and throw myself a little pity party."

"I thought about it," I laughed. "But then I figured, why not go? I had to come out of hiding some time, and I might as well make as grand an entrance as possible."

"I'm glad to see you back to your old self. Some of the stories they ran--" she gave a visible shudder.

"Thank God I avoided most of those," I said. "But at the end of the day, it's all just words."

"That's a good attitude to have. Lord knows I couldn't come out of it as unscathed as you."

"I'm not perfect--don't get me wrong--but maybe for the first time in my life I realize what's really important. I've been so one track minded for most of my life, thinking I had to toe the line and be a certain way for people to accept me and take my work seriously. But look how that turned out for me. I'd tried to do everything perfect, but in the end, it all blew up in my face. The people I thought were on my side were the quickest to turn on me. Now, I'm just going to be myself, and fuck whoever doesn't like it."

"Bravo!" Mel said clapping. "That's the spirit. You'll be back on top in no time, I can guarantee it."

Mel stood awkwardly and bit her bottom lip as if she were trying to work up the courage to say something.

"I'm just going to cut right to the chase. I've spoken to Rob," she said. She paused, watching to see how I would react to the news. I really wasn't too surprised by it. Maybe deep down, I'd expected her to do that. And maybe that's why I called her to dress me for the awards in the first place. Seeing that I wasn't kicking up a fuss, ready to throw her out, she continued.

"He'd like to see you. He asked me to help him set up a meeting."

There it was. I let the words sink in, trying to work out how I felt about it. I couldn't help feeling pleased and a little curious about what he had to say to me. After the way he acted at his parent's party, I was sure I never wanted to see him again. Then when he didn't bother refuting the stories that ran about us, I thought he'd finally thrown in the towel as well.

"What should I tell him?" Mel asked.

"I need a little more time," I said. "I mean, I'm not totally against it, but I'm just not ready yet."

"You don't have to explain it to me," she said. "Take all the time you need. I'm surprised, though. I thought I'd have to use my Jedi mind tricks to get you to agree," she said.

"Maybe a few weeks ago," I laughed.

"But what changed your mind?" she asked.

"I'm not sure. Maybe I just want to hear what he has to say."

Over the past several weeks, my initial anger had turned to a dull kind of pain. Even though my parents and even Charlotte had suggested that there was more to Rob and my relationship--that he was as into me as I was of him--I tried to ignore them. What good would it do, after all? I felt betrayed by him, and that was a hard thing to get over.

Even though technically our relationship was only for show, he must have known I had feelings for him, and yet that didn't stop him from treating me like dirt and ultimately exposing our arrangement.

I couldn't be too mad at him, though. He had tried to warn me many times and he made no secret of the fact it wasn't real. It was my own fault for not listening, or thinking I could change his mind somehow.

In the end, I only had myself to blame. Now I had to put on my big girl panties and act like a professional. Ending things with Rob the way I did by walking out on him and his family left a bad taste in my mouth. At the very least, we could still be cordial to one another. That was what I wanted right now, I just needed to steel my heart against hoping for anything more.

"I'll let him know then," Mel said. "I'm sure he's anxious to see you again."

"Ok, I'll let you know when I decide," I said, feeling more than a little anxious myself.

***

Ever since Mel had left, I'd been thinking about meeting with Rob nonstop. I knew it needed to be done. I'd kept him hanging long enough, but it had just been easier to put it off for another day. Then that turned into another day, and another, until it had been a week and I still hadn't been able to muster the courage to make the call.

Sure, I told myself that I'd been busy. That was partly true. I'd arrived back in LA a few days ago. After being holed away at my parents, I'd gotten used to the relative privacy there. My family had formed a protective shield against outsiders, and any paparazzi or journalists milling around too close learned very quickly not to hang around or mess with my family.

So coming back to LA was a pain in the ass. When I got off the plane and headed out of the airport, the paparazzi were waiting out in swarms. I had no idea who had tipped them off, but it had been a shock to the system to see them all there with their cameras clicking away.

On top of dealing with that, Charlotte, Arnie and I had been discussing how to handle my reemergence at the awards show. I'd been laying low long enough, and now it was time to make my big splashy appearance. Arnie was adamant against my meeting with Rob.

"It would only dredge all that back up again," he had explained a few days after I arrived back in LA.

"Arnie's right," Charlotte agreed.

"Let's leave the past in the past. You've got to be humble, and gracious, and act like you've learned your lesson," Arnie added.

I bristled at the thought. It made me sound like some disobedient child asking for forgiveness from the same people who had been so gleefully happy to throw me to the wolves. Even though I had learned a lesson, my biggest lesson was that I couldn't trust anyone, especially them.

"At least wait until the award season is over. We don't want any hint of another scandal or rumor attached to your name," Charlotte had said.

I agreed with them at the time. Maybe it was best to wait it out. I had enough on my plate as it was, without having to add all the baggage with Rob on top of it.

With the exception of going to Charlotte's office and a quick run to the pharmacy, I'd been stuck at my house since arriving back in LA. The paparazzi were waiting outside my gates just lying in wait for me, and I'd been so stubborn trying to wait them out. A few of them got discouraged and left, but there were still enough of them out there that would make any type of trip a hassle.

My salvation came in the form of a prostitution ring. On the third day of myself imposed imprisonment, news broke about a high powered Hollywood madam who'd gotten busted for running an escort service. Her clients were the crème de la crème of Hollywood--high powered studio execs, directors, and even some major A-list actors. And she was talking--singing like a canary actually. Her little black book had just been leaked and people were in a frenzy. Just like that I was old news.

For that I was grateful. Maybe a year ago, I would have had misgivings about being completely overshadowed by someone else, but I'd had enough publicity over the past few months to last me a lifetime. Once the last paparazzo left my street, I breathed a sigh of relief. I grabbed my purse and hopped into my car, itching to finally get out of my house.

What I really needed was a trip to the salon. My hair and nails were a hot mess. I phoned up Reya, my stylist, for an appointment. I'd known her since my modeling days, and she recently opened up a salon in Long Beach of all places.

As I pulled out past my gate, I noticed a black Mercedes following me. At first I thought it was a neighbor, but as I entered the freeway, the car was hot on my heels. I decided to take a different exit to put them off my trail, but they remained close by.

I could've cursed out loud. In fact, I did. How wrong I'd been to think I could have one moment of privacy without these paparazzi sticking their cameras up in my face, and shouting rude and inane remarks at me as I tried to go about my day. My temper was reaching a boiling point, and I understood how other celebs could lose their cool and get physical with them. I was halfway there myself.

I pulled over my car in a strip mall parking lot and waited. The black Mercedes parked behind me and I got out of my car. If they wanted to get up close and personal, I'd give them what they asked for.

The driver's face was hidden by the dark sunglasses and baseball cap he was wearing. As I made my way toward the car, the driver side door opened and I had to stop in my tracks. The last person I expected to see was standing right in front of me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I came to see you," he said. Rob looked like he was going to walk closer, but I held up my hand to stop him.

"How long have you been waiting outside my house?" I asked.

"Not long," he said. "I just arrived in LA a couple of days ago."

I lifted my eyebrows in surprise. Did that mean he'd been waiting outside since he got here? I didn't ask the question, though. There were more pressing matters on my mind. I'd forgotten how tall he was, or how broad his shoulders were. His face was still partially hidden underneath the shades, but he had that perpetual five o'clock shadow, and that irresistible cleft in his chin.

"What do you want?" I asked.

He hesitated a moment and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, looking nervous and unsure of himself. "I wanted to talk to you. I...there's...do you mind if we go somewhere to talk? Can I buy you a cup of coffee or something?" he asked.

I looked around us at the shops in the strip mall plaza. There was a nail salon, a Polish deli, an urgent care doctor's office, and a small diner.

"Let's go," I said, making my way toward the diner. It was as good of a place as any to have this discussion. After making a quick survey of our surroundings, I didn't see one suspicious car, or anyone with any camera equipment around. This area wasn't exactly celeb sighting central, so we were left in relative peace.

The diner was mostly empty except for a couple of tables near the front filled with elderly couples, and one table in the back with a group of three boys who looked like they were in their teens. They were too engrossed in their cell phones and took no notice of us as we walked in.

We seated ourselves at a booth away from the other diners. I slid into the plastic vinyl bench and had to smile at the look of distress on Rob's face as he took a look around him. I was willing to bet he'd never been to a place like this before. It wasn't his typical Michelin star restaurant.

The waitress came a few minutes later to take our orders. When we both ordered coffees she seemed annoyed, like we were wasting her time, but didn't say anything. She just snapped her gum and walked away, scooping up the menus with her.

"How did you know I was back in LA?" I asked.

"I saw it in the papers," he answered a little sheepishly.

I lifted my eyebrows in surprise. "I didn't take you for a tabloid reader," I said.

"I'm not, but it was the only way I got any news of you. Charlotte basically shut me down. And Mel wasn't much help either. She told me to give you time, but after a week, I began to lose hope, so I took matters into my own hands," he said.

"So, what do you have to say?" I asked, cutting right to the chase.

Rob looked a little caught off guard at first, but then he smiled and nodded his head. "I almost forgot how straight forward you are," he said.

He took off his sunglasses and hat and placed it on the table in front of him. I waited for him to speak. "I want to apologize for what I did and everything I put you through. That night at my parent's anniversary party was--it wasn't me," he said, running his fingers through his hair.