The Game Has Changed (20 page)

She couldn't get enough of him. He was the most
handsome man she had ever come across, a fact the waitress had
alluded to earlier. That idea made her all the more miserable. He
was so handsome, so desirable, that she was certain she had truly
lost him forever. She jumped up from the bed, anxious to stare at
him for as long as it was possible. She was certain that her days
with him were numbered and she wanted to commit every moment they
spent together to memory.

Standing in the living room doorway, she didn't
conceal the fact that she was gaping at him in the least. He stood
naked, oblivious to her presence, as he rummaged through the bag
and pulled out a fresh set of clothes. He looked up, momentarily,
his eyes clashing with hers. He wasn't surprised to find that she
was staring at him with longing. The look he gave her was rife with
subdued annoyance. He looked away and pulled his underwear and blue
jeans back on.

Only then, did Jaime speak. She realized, then,
that she was, in a sense, trying to surrender. She was letting him
win. “Why are you doing this?” she asked.

“Doing what?” he mumbled, purposefully playing
the innocent.

“Treating me like I'm only your charge now,
like I’m a package you have to deliver.” Her voice trembled as she
was on the verge of tears again.

The look upon his face was devoid of emotion as
he pulled his shirt on and then secured his gun and holster into
place below his right arm. “I have no idea what you're talking
about.”

“Where are you going?” she questioned. “It's
late, you know.”

“Go to sleep,” he snapped as he slid his shoes
and his jacket back on.

“Please, talk to me, Evan,” she
begged.

“Nothing to talk about,” he said as he made
sure that his wallet lay inside his jacket pocket. “I'm going out
for a while. I don't know when I'll be back, but feel free to
sleep, in the meantime.” He moved toward the suite's
door.

“Tell me why things have changed so much
between us!” Jaime cried out irrationally.

He stood there in silence, staring downward for
a moment. Minutes passed before he released a pent-up breath. “You
know the reasons as well as I do.”

“I promise I won't tell them that you made love
to me,” she gasped. “How could they possibly know if I don't tell
them?”

“They'll know,” he stated. “Besides, you lied
to me once. How can I ever trust you again?”

Jaime took a deep breath. The urge to lash out
at him in every way possible ate at her.
I
need to earn your trust,
she thought. The irony of his
supposition was mind-numbing. At first, she wanted to fight back,
but she felt defeated and lonely. The feeling dissipated as she
lowered her head and stared at the floor.

She blinked back her tears and said, “You're
going out to find another woman, then?”

“Maybe. But more likely a plethora of drinking
that will make me pass out completely, though, so I won’t have to
think about you anymore,” he replied. His words sounded so hateful
that it crushed her heart, then and there.

Without another word, he pulled the door open
and disappeared. Little did she know, his loathsome tirade hadn’t
been directed at her. It was a submission of his weakness for her,
a weakness that wasn't sitting comfortably within him. He hated the
fact that she’d come to mean a lot to him in so short a
time.

CHAPTER 25

Jaime spent most of her time crying into her
pillow. Her heart ached with the pain of what she was going
through. Evan’s indifference hurt even more. She wasn’t sure as to
what she needed to do in order to set things straight between
them.

He was adamant that most of what had happened
was hurt her fault. Part of her wondered if he realized that he was
at fault, too. Yet never once did he seem to acknowledge that
fact.

Deep inside, she wanted him to tell her that he
loved her. That he, too, had enjoyed the moment they’d shared
between them, however fleeting it had been. She wanted to wrap her
arms around him. To hold him close as they made love again. Yet she
knew that was a possibility that might never take place
again.

Bursting into a fresh wave of tears, she curled
herself into a fetal position. She cried for what would never be.
For the love she would never be able to show him. She cried because
of the circumstances that led her to where she was now. Most of
all, she cried for the loss of her innocence, something she knew
she would never have again.

She soon sunk into a miserable slumber,
oblivious to the world around her. Her sleep was fitful and
restless as she tossed and turned every now and then. Dreams of
Evan consumed her as she slept. She awakened, hours later, to the
sound of his drunken return.

***

Evan sat at the bar of the nearest restaurant
the entire time that Jaime spent crying. He had no desire for a
woman, despite the fact that several had come on to him in hopes of
having a rendezvous with him. Sex seemed to be the furthest thing
from his mind at that moment. That, in itself, was a rarity for his
sex-addled brain.

Yet he was reminded of the all too recent
sexual exploit he’d committed earlier and realized the trouble it
had caused him. Certainly, these women were all at the age of
consent and were more than willing, but he didn't have the resolve
to partake from any of them, at present. Instead, he drank himself
into oblivion. Hours later, he found himself throwing up all over
the barstools. The bar's bouncer picked him up without remorse and
unceremoniously threw him out into the street.

Evan wandered in confusion for a while,
concentrating hard on where he needed to go, as he’d forgotten as
to where it was that he was staying. Eventually, he remembered he’d
put his room's key card within his inside jacket pocket. He dug
into his pocket, relieved to find that the card was still there
with the room's number written across it. He staggered back to his
room, making a bee-line for the bathroom.

He’d forgotten about Jaime until the moment he
walked into the bedroom. She lay upon the bed, her face red as she
tossed and turned within an uneasy sleep. He stared down at her,
doing his best to remain standing. Several times, he nearly lost
his balance and had to grab a hold of the end of her bed to keep
himself upright.

The slight jostling disturbed her and broke
through the throes of her sleep. She bolted awake, startled to find
him standing at the foot of her bed. She sat there, staring at him
in silence, disgusted by the fact that he was completely
hammered.

He waved at her drunkenly, frowning with
confusion. “What are you doing here?” he wondered, a hiccup
bursting from his lips.

“I live here,” she stated
sarcastically.

“Oh.”

She pointed at the door. “You live out
there.”

“Okay,” he said. “But could I . . . ?” He
jerked his head toward the bathroom.

She nodded, her lips thinning to a tight line.
“Yes, please, before you pee on the floor.”

“I really have to puke,” he murmured and dashed
into the bathroom.

She could hear him retching in the bathroom as
she sat up in bed, rubbing her swollen eyes, almost feeling pity
for him. Why, she wasn't quite sure. He’d done this to himself,
after all. Yet she couldn’t help but wonder if she was the cause of
his drinking so profusely. Was he so fed up with her that he was
now inflicting bodily harm upon himself? And why was she letting
herself feel responsible for his stupidity? That was almost as
stupid as what he was doing to himself. Perhaps even more
so.

She watched him carefully as he returned from
the bathroom. He hesitated for a moment at the foot of her bed.
Part of her wondered if he was going to apologize or if he was
going to say something to her about their antipathy for one
another. Yet, even if he did, he was too drunk to remember, so an
apology would be quite worthless, she knew.

Yet the words he spoke next took her completely
by surprise. Her father had always told her that sincere truths
were often spoken by people when they were drunk. When they had no
control over their inhibitions, their secrets always came to
light.

“Jaime . . . I'm so mad at myself for how much
I love you,” he replied and promptly walked out of the
room.

Her heart leapt with expectation as his softly
spoken words tumbled about inside her head. Although his words were
a little slurred, they sounded lovely and sincere to her,
none-the-less.

Is he speaking from his
heart?
she wondered.
Does he
really, really mean it?

“Oh my God!” she gasped aloud.

If only he would remember what he said come
morning. Should she tell him? Would it embarrass him? Would he deny
it outright? Perhaps his words were befuddled because of his
inebriation. Perhaps he didn’t love her at all. The meaning behind
what he’d said to her confused her. She stayed awake for the rest
of the night as she found herself thinking about
everything.

CHAPTER 26

Evan's drunken snoring met Jaime’s ears as the
sun came up over the small Missouri hamlet. She leaned against the
wall near his sofa bed and gazed dreamily at him. She’d been in
love with him for awhile now. Was it possible that he was in love
with her, too?

It was driving her crazy, the wonder, the
hopefulness. Yet she knew what sort of man he was. He wouldn't be
the type to let her know in so many words. He wasn't a gusher. He
was too cool and cocky for that.

She decided she wouldn't confront him about
what he’d said to her within his drunken stupor earlier. He would
have to show her in his own way once he was comfortable to do so.
She'd have to settle for knowing deep within her heart that he had
already spoken the words to her.

Never-the-less, how could she hide the fact
that she knew? She wouldn't be able to keep herself from treating
him a little differently now. He would sense something was amiss,
she knew. Could she pretend that things were the same between them
and effectively carry on the charade of indifference?

He awakened with his usual groans and moans,
clutching his head between both of his hands. Jaime smiled and held
up a bottle of Tylenol as he gazed in her direction through bleary
eyes. Despite the overwhelming pain he was feeling, he returned her
smile. She tossed the bottle to him, grinning broadly as he managed
to catch it within his hands. Thanking her, he rolled off of the
bed and stumbled toward the bathroom without another glance in her
direction.

***

Though they had not spoken much that morning as
they took to the road again, Jaime didn't feel quite as miserable
as she had before. She knew part of the reason was because of the
secret she now held within her. She wanted to confront him with it,
yet she knew it was not yet time for her to do so. Never-the-less,
it carried her spirit far above the chilly antipathy that still
hung in the air between them.

Mid-morning, Evan pulled off of the highway
into a
7-11
station for a
fill up. It was then that they spoke to one another for the first
time that day. As the car came to a stop in front of the pump,
Jaime hopped out.

Evan shoved the driver’s side door open and
stepped outside, promptly calling out her name as he peered over
the car’s roof. “Where are you going?”

She hurried to his side and held out her hand.
“Give me some money,” she said with a straight face.

He frowned with suspicion. “For
what?”

She grinned. “Just give me some
money!”

“Jaime?”

She feigned a pout. “Please?”

His eyes narrowed as he rummaged within his
jacket pocket for his wallet. She smiled broadly, enjoying the
sense of power she was beginning to have over him. He pulled out
several twenty dollar bills and placed them within her
hand.

“Just going in the store, right?” he
asked.

She closed her hand into a tight fist,
crumpling the money between her fingers. “Thought I might use the
restroom, too,” she said, baiting him.

Part of her wanted to see if he’d slip up and
let his feelings for her show. To her relief, he promptly did. His
voice rang out as she turned about and walked away.

“Wait!”

She turned about to face him, a look of worry
was plastered across his face. Memories of their previous restroom
adventure were still fresh within his mind and hers. The fact that
he was worried touched her deeply, though she would never admit it
to him.

“If you really need to, let me come with you?”
he asked gently.

A ripple of tenderness coursed through her
body. She took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay.”

She hurried into the store to keep herself from
putting more into the situation than there really was. She took her
time in gathering what she wanted, hoping that it would calm her
frazzled nerves. Tossing her purchases into the back seat of the
car, she signaled to him that she was ready. He followed her down
the alleyway, keeping a safe distance. Had he not been with her,
her heart would have exploded with fear at the similarities. Yet
having him by her side made her feel safe.