And the first cause? I was beginning to understand: whoever attacked Osané had got caught up in this â we all had. Perhaps it was Edur who'd so nearly throttled her . . . Edur wanted Osané, and Arantxa had egged him on because she was frightened that her sons would go away after Gathering Camp and leave her to starve â all that woman was after was getting a good hunter into her family â maybe Edur had got fed up with Osané evading him and had tried to force her. I'd seen no signs of rape when we'd undressed her. That didn't mean much â she'd have cleaned herself up â girls usually do â which means you can never prove anything â but I wasn't sure it was Edur. All spirits are good, but to their enemies they become evil. In which case . . .
âThe
first
cause,' Zigor repeated. âYou keep worrying about details. What do they matter?'
I jumped: had he read my thoughts? I answered as humbly as I knew how. âI think that every small thing matters. But of course I don't know.'
âYou want the girl to live?'
âOf course I do!'
âThen I suggest you don't mention again that she hasn't spoken to you.'
âYou meanâ'
âEveryone says you're a clever woman,' Zigor mocked. âSomeone tried to kill Osané. D'you think there's a man lurking among the Auk People who longs to be shamed in public? Who can't wait to be cast out? No? But there
is
a man among us who's tried to kill Osané. Where is he now, Nekané?'
I was angry that I hadn't thought of this. âOsané's no weakling,' I said, working it out. âThere are women here with strong hands, but I don't think . . . She'd have fought back! She's small, but she's strong, and very agile. She'd have left a mark, anyway, and I don't think anyone here . . . I can soon find out. It's almost certainly a man. And if a man's strong enough to do that to her without her fighting back, he's strong enough to go hunting. So he's not here now. But he must know he didn't kill her. Osané's got a tongue in her head. He knows his danger.' I clenched my fists together. âBut how do I make him think she's told me, when she hasn't uttered a single word? How can I hide the fact that I
don't
know?'
âEasily. You don't need my help for that.'
I shook my head slowly. âNot for
that
, no.'
I waited three heartbeats. Zigor said nothing.
If I didn't seize my chance now it would vanish. I crouched, head low, for three heartbeats, every muscle tense. Then I leaped: âI said just now I didn't know. I don't know because I've not been taught. Every new Go-Between must have a teacher. That I do know!'
Zigor wiped out the patterns in the ash with one flourishing circle, then swept over it with the twig. He dusted the ash from his fingers, and reached for his waterskin. His lips drew back, showing stumps of blackening teeth. He was smiling. My heart sank.
At last he answered me. âHave I so many words inside me that you think I want to waste them? You ask me a round hand-full of questions, and still you ask me “Where is my teacher?”'
I stared at him, trying to take in what he said. âWhen did you know this?' I asked at last.
âWhen did
you
know it, Nekané?'
The answers to that were piled in so many layers I couldn't seize upon any. Thoughts reeled round my head. I watched Zigor lean forward, pick up the twig he'd used to write and hold it in a flame. When it was burning he dropped it into the fire.
Presently I reached into my pouch and took out the white pebble I'd picked up on my journey. I gave it to Zigor. He held it in the palm of his hand and studied it.
âYou'll know that place again,' was all he said.
âYes.'
âThis matter is up to you, Nekané: you made the journey. Will we give her to Kemen when he comes back from the Hunt?' He dropped the white pebble into my hand, and I put it away.
âAll the winds blow that way.' I sighed, though I had no reason to be sad. âI made the journey, but you saw what it meant.' I thought it clever as well as right to give him his due. âIt certainly answers a lot of questions. But where it will lead us in the end â that's what I can't see.'
âSurely you know, Nekané: that's exactly what we
never
see.'
Amets said:
Initiation Camp is high in the hills. We take the boys to the mountain-tops to teach them the lie of the land. We show them where the spirits live. It's good for the boys to hunt in the bare lands above the trees. If they can find food for themselves there, they'll find it anywhere. They need to learn what to do in cold and dangerous places. In the high places it can be winter in any Moon.
When I thought about it later I was pleased at how well the boys did that Year, in spite of all the other things that happened. No one died, their cuts healed well and not one hurt himself enough to matter. I heard later that nearly all of them came back to Initiation Camp on the right day, with full stomachs and grins on their faces. The only one who was small and weak turned out to be clever enough to make up for it. I wish I'd been there to see them all come back.
I did see them half a Moon later, when they all returned to Gathering Camp. Not one had forgotten the words or the stories, and the tests ended in laughter, which is a good way of making People remember. I was proud of our Ortzi too, though I was careful not to let him know it.
But that was later. When the men reached Hunting Camp word came to bring the boys to the Hunt. The boys had just finished making their weapons. They'd wasted a lot of stone, but they'd all ended up with a spear and arrows that I wouldn't be too ashamed of carrying myself â if it were a dark night and none of my cousins was looking too closely. We led the boys up to the Hidden Place â no, I'm not telling you women â or you little ones either â where that is! We showed them the Pool of the Young Men. We mixed water and ochre on the flat stones round the Pool. The spirits of the water showed each boy the colours he must write.
We sent the boys off to get food. They weren't allowed to go below the tree line. When they understood that they had to get enough food from the high places for all the men coming to Hunting Camp, and have it cooked and ready for them, they went pale with terror. No wonder! I'll admit to you now â though I've never told any of you People before â that when we boys were put to the same test among the Seal People we failed miserably. It wasn't the beatings I minded, it was the shame. I thought the men would never forgive us. I only understood afterwards that forgiving had nothing to do with it; we just became a standing joke that got told again and again every single Year. We grew used to it after a while.
Anyway, these boys did neither badly nor well. They came to Hunting Camp with fat ptarmigan, snow bunting and plenty of smaller birds. Itzal had trapped a hare. Ortzi pointed out that men ought to fast before they hunt, and so, he explained, the boys had been careful not to get too much. I cuffed him round the ear, but not hard, because of course he was right. Ortzi was often quicker to get the point than the others.
The great Hunt of Deer Moon belongs to the high places. You little ones â you often see your fathers and brothers and cousins take their dogs and weapons, and quietly walk away from your hearths. You may not see them for many days. You know, wherever your Camp may be, that they're heading for the high hunting grounds. But you've never been there yet.
Shut your eyes and see my words inside your minds: you're climbing uphill through the trees â you've often done that. It's Deer Moon. The Sun slants through the leaves â green and yellow and gold. The ground's bright with fallen leaves and green mosses. You're clambering over slippery rocks, white with lichen. As you climb higher the trees grow smaller. The River doesn't sound like the wind in the pines any more. Its voice changes: it's rushing between the rocks, seeping through marshes or tumbling over broken boulders in little waterfalls. The trees are thinning out. They lean towards the Morning Sun Sky from the weight of the wind on their backs. The oaks are bent and spindly. Soon they give up. You're among birch and rowan and juniper. Clumps of bilberry and bog myrtle scratch your deerskins as you pass. Between the trees bees browse among the heather. You can't see the path â the scrub's above your waist â but your feet know where to find it. Now you see the mountain peaks above you, closer than you've ever seen them yet. They're guarded by the crags of the high corries. In the hollows of the corries the spirits have spread pastures of sweet grass and tender herbs. That's why the hinds are still there in Deer Moon. The Rut hasn't begun, and winter hasn't yet driven them down into the woods.
Hinds never leave the lands they know. The old ones know everything â just like the old women of the Auk People! The lead hind sniffs the wind and chooses the best places. Wherever the wind blows from, some old woman â People or Animal, they're all the same â will always remember a sheltered hollow where food can be found. The trick â if you're a man, that is â is to read what's going on inside her mind.
When the men arrived at Hunting Camp we were ready. The boys had slung shelters between the skinny birches and thatched the roofs with bracken and heather. They'd fetched wood and water. Heather and bog myrtle were trodden flat around the fire. The boys were busy cooking the meat. The men took no notice of them, but you can always see the eyes of the fathers flickering round the Camp to check their own boys are there. I was happy that, so far, no man had to face that grief this Year. I was also glad to see Kemen with Sendoa. Things must have gone well for him when they spoke to the Animals about the Hunt. When Kemen went off to the stream to refill his waterskin I walked with him.
âI'm glad to see you,' I told him.
âI'm glad to be here. But I'm hot!' Kemen squatted by the stream, filled his waterskin, then drank from the stream, water dripping from his cupped hands. I began to feel thirsty too. I knelt beside him, cupped my hands and drank.
âThat's better!' Kemen wiped his mouth, stripped off his tunic and began to splash cold water over himself.
I stood up, and saw his back. The swift mark of Lynx still ran across his shoulderblades, but now it hid behind a mass of welts. Under the blistered skin I read three spirals of red smoke. Below it, raw and shining, the three blue curves of Auk. Through the welts I also saw what was not there: the red birth-line of Auk had been left out. When I cried out, Kemen whipped round at once. âWhat is it?
What do you see?'
âNothing now. Turn round again!'
âYou weren't at the Dance,' he said with his back to me. âDidn't anyone tell you they'd done this?'
âNo, but I read it now. We were doing the same thing where I was.'
âYou were at Initiation Camp?'
âBoys must become men. And a few men have to change all over again in the middle of their lives. That's hard, but it can be good too. More good than bad in the end, sometimes â at least, that's what I think.'
âAmets! Tell me what he wrote! Because I can't see it.'
âDon't you know?' I stripped off my own tunic and turned my back to him.
Kemen was silent, reading what was written. Then he said, âAlmost, but never quite. And mine says the same?'
I turned to face him again. âNo man ever sees his own back. But you and I were both born under other skies. Now I think we belong in the same place.' I glanced at him. Since he'd been accepted into the Auk People I was free to say something I'd been thinking about for several Moons. âThe family I belong to is much too small,' I told him. âI won't go back to our winter Camp this Year if I'm the only hunting man. I decided that after my wife's brother was lost. But River Mouth Camp's a good place. If we don't go back this winter someone else will take it. It would be a shame to lose it.'
âYou think that Iâ'
âI can't offer you much. The hunting's good. But my wife's little sister is only a child. Otherwise there's only her parents. If you want a woman you'll have to take one before Deer Moon!' We laughed, and I clapped him on the shoulder. â
If
you want a woman!'
Kemen looked at the ground, grinning. âWhat do you think?'
âBut you'll join my family?'
He seized me by the shoulders and hugged me to his heart. âI ask nothing more!' He grabbed my hands and shook them up and down. Joy was written all over his face. âAmets, I ask nothing more!'
âNot even a woman?' I asked slyly. After that we had to grip each other's shoulders to stay on our feet, we were laughing so much. And so the matter was settled. I was very pleased with myself, because I'd had it all planned in my head long before.
I asked Edur if he'd let Kemen go with him on the Hunt. I knew Kemen would learn more about Auk hunting lands from Edur than anyone else. Edur wasn't willing. I didn't blame him. It's hard enough to take a boy who knows nothing â who may kick a loose stone, or show himself above the skyline, or let the Sun gleam on his face â all the things that foolish boys may do when they first come to the Hunt. But to take a man who's already a hunter in his own country, but who's lost his place in the world â it's difficult to tell a grown man what to do. You can't just cuff him if he makes a mistake! But a useless man is a lot worse than a boy, and twice as dangerous. I didn't want to cast a burden on Edur that should have been my own.