The Genie and the Engineer 3: Ravages of War (8 page)

Ω

“Where are we?” Capie asked as she stepped free of the
portal and glanced around the horizon through the diamond helmet of the
spacesuit she was wearing.

“Ascraeus Mons,” Daneel 1 replied. “The second tallest
mountain and volcano on all of Mars, a mere 59,793 feet tall. Of course, we are
not quite that high up since we are standing on the main caldera. It’s more
like 48,600 feet above datum. We are approximately dead center of the volcano
so it’s possible to see most of the rim around us, except for where the other,
older calderas overlap.”

“Okay, I’ll bite. Why are we here?” Capie asked, glancing curiously
over at Paul.

Several feet away, a new portal opened up and four more of
the Daneels flew through. All four had extruded holographic ‘arms’ out the
sides of their cubes. And in their ‘hands’ each one was carrying an object.

Capie’s breath caught in her throat. “Is that an emerald
crystal? And a block of tantalum?” She swung on Paul. “A talisman? Or a
chutzpah?”

Paul grinned mischievously. “A chutzpah, of course.”

“For me?” she said, practically squealing in sudden delight,
and she threw herself at him, hugging him hard, as difficult as that was to
accomplish with the two of them wearing spacesuits. “That is so wonderful!”

Paul shrugged. “The Daneels did most of the work, of
course.”

“Oh, CR, you are the most wonderful man on the whole
planet!”

“Dear,” Paul said, suddenly puzzled. “I’m the
only
man on the whole planet.”

“Silly man. You know what I mean.” And then she released
him, stepping back. “Oh, but how do we get a piece of the sun from here? Don’t
we need a really big rock? Shouldn’t we be at John Doe Mons instead of here?”

“Great question, Mom,” Daneel 4 said first, before anyone
else could say a word. “But you
are
standing on the biggest rock in the whole
world already.”

It was Capie’s turn to look bewildered. “But I thought all
of the calderas were pretty much made of lots of small rocks, shattered when
they collapsed inward.”

“They are…at least all of the other calderas still are,
except this one,” Paul explained. “I asked for a couple of volunteers and got
Daneels 8 and 11 to go to John Doe Mons. They used that really large rock to fuse
enough of the seams of Ascraeus Mons’s caldera to make it into one really
monstrous sized rock. They fused enough of the seams and cracks to join most of
the rocks in this part of the caldera together. True, it’s a hodge-podge
confab. But it’s more than big enough to reach to the sun for ten grams of
helium.”

Capie reached out with one gloved hand to grip one of his
and squeeze it in delight.

“You are an amazing man,” she said again. “But now I have
another question.”

“What’s that?” Paul asked.

“Well, on Earth, we used rare igneous Earth rocks and we
used meteorites, or in other words rocks from outer space for the chutzpah. But
here on Mars…well, will the same process work here? Won’t the magic be
different? I mean, shouldn’t we have brought some Earth rocks with us to use in
the chutzpah we make here?”

“That is a very insightful question,” Paul acknowledged.
“And I considered bringing some komatiite from Earth with us but I decided we
couldn’t really do that, not for all the chutzpahs that we are going to end up
making here. After all, each Scottie will need a chutzpah too and it just
wouldn’t be possible to haul all that rock from Earth.”

“Oh. So, you are hoping that using rare Martian rocks will
accomplish the same purpose?”

“Exactly. And I believe that it will. After all, our chutzpah
and talismans, which were fabricated on Earth, work just fine here on Mars. I
don’t see why talismans made on Mars wouldn’t work on Earth. Right?”

“That makes good sense,” Capie agreed with a quick
appreciative nod. “Now, I have a request.”

“Name it.”

“I want to cast the spells this time,” his wife insisted apprehensively,
chewing a bit on her lower lip.

Paul gave her a small bow. “By all means. I was hoping that
you would ask. Do you remember the words I used for the ceremony?”

“They are etched into my memory, believe me!” she swore and
then laughed.

With a flourish, she stepped forward, sweeping an arm in a
huge circle and created a large 150 foot diameter white circle, eight inches
wide and two inches thick. In response, a puff of red dust popped up a few
yards outside the circle. Another fling of her arm produced a white hexagram
inside the circle, with the apexes almost but not quite touching the circle.
Outside the circle, everyone watched as more dust rose from the ground, a hazy
cloud of red forming in the air. Capie then nodded at the Daneels holding the
components of the chutzpah. They grinned, each one releasing their cargo and
sending it gliding forward to hover over one of the apexes, where they bobbed
slightly up and down, as if anxious for the ceremony to begin. A red dust storm
formed outside the circle, gathering strength, the sky growing darker overhead.

Capie waved both arms over her head. “In the name of the
Green Lantern, the Flash and Wonder Woman, let there exist a dome of denser atmosphere
above the circle.” Gradually, a mixture of mostly carbon dioxide and a bit of nitrogen
gathered from the surrounding area, the pressure inside the circle rising
steadily toward six pounds per square inch.

She pointed to the tantalum block at the first apex. “Let
the tantalum represent the wealth of the planet Mars!” She swung to the next
apex. “Let the pallasite meteor represent the link to the heavens! Let the
komatiite rock represent the power of the core of Mars and may the emerald
represent the beauty of the planet Mars!”

A lightning bolt flashed from the ground halfway around the
circle, reaching upward hundreds of miles into space. Another one struck out
from the ground near the tantalum and blasted a section of caldera wall several
miles distant.

Capie knelt down to touch the ground with the fingertips of
her left hand. “Let the power of this rock on which we stand be used to reach
all the way to the Sun, to the photosphere of its surface and gather from there
half an ounce of helium plasma, to be brought here and enclosed in a tight
force field above the fifth apex!”

A white soccer-sized sphere appeared at the fifth apex,
suddenly blazing with a brilliant white light. The helium had arrived. Paul
glanced over at Daneel 1, who was clapping his hands and bobbing up and down,
obviously enjoying the whole performance.

A series of six dust devils formed, each positioned a mile
off an apex of the hexagram. They grew monstrous in size but without the power
they would have had back on Earth. They did, however, reach very high up into
the atmosphere.

Moving back to the left, Capie shouted, “Let there be a huge
speaker above the tantalum and let it be playing the soundtrack from
Lord of
the Rings
!”

A speaker appeared and the stirring theme song from that
series of movies began to play.

“Let there be a second speaker there!” she yelled, pointing
to the second apex. “Let it play the theme song from
Hook
!”

Pointing to the third apex, she yelled, “Let there be a
speaker there playing
How to Train Your Dragon
! Let there be a speaker
over the emerald playing
The Sorcerer’s Apprentice
! Over the helium from
the sun, let there be a speaker playing the theme from
The Forbidden Kingdom
!
And over our heads, let there be a speaker playing the theme from
X-Men
!”

Even in the reduced atmospheric pressure, the volume of the
six speakers was painful to Paul’s ears, the sound loud enough even to
penetrate his spacesuit. With a casual wave of one hand, he magically created a
zone of active noise control inside his helmet. He could still hear the din—indeed
the ground beneath their feet vibrated with its volume—but it now reached his
ears at a mercifully lower volume.

The dust devils had morphed into full scale tornadoes now,
much larger and much closer than before. Lightning bolts crashed around the
perimeter of the circle, the sound of thunder joining in with the music.

A Mars quake shook the ground and Paul watched as small
crevices opened up in the ground, angling toward the white circle. He frowned.
It would seem that some repair work to the caldera would be needed after each
chutzpah ceremony. Capie, however, seemed not to notice, instead waving a pair
of sunglasses into existence in front of her eyes. Remembering the ceremony on
Devil’s Tower, Paul thought it a great idea and duplicated her spell.

Capie yelled at the top of her lungs, “When in the Course of
human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political
bands…”

As she spoke on, the tornadoes merged into one giant
whirlwind, a wall of red dust just outside the white circle. The quake in the
ground below them also intensified. A glance upward revealed a solid phalanx of
lightning. From all Paul could see, this ceremony was just as intense as the
one on top of Devils Tower.

Capie finished quoting from the Constitution and the
Declaration of Independence, then said, “In the names of Lewis Carroll, Robert
Jordan, J.R.R Tolkien, and Terry Brooks, may all the parts of my chutzpah come
together in the center and may they fuse into one coherent whole.”

When she finished, she waved the objects forward. Paul
gripped her right shoulder and slowly, together, they approached the center,
the other items of the talisman gliding forth as well.

As had happened on Devils Tower, the items met in the
center, Capie stretching forth her hand as the tantalum, emerald, helium,
komatiite and pallasite merged together.

The familiar blinding white light washed everything away,
leaving spots in front of Paul’s eyes.

A minute went by, the intensity of light and sound here
every bit as strong as it had been for the ceremony on Earth. Then the noise
and the light gradually faded away.

“Wow, Mom! Awesome!” Daneel 7 bellowed.

“A truly marvelous ceremony, CB,” Paul crowed in delight.

Capie stood there, the pride radiating from her face as she
held forth a brand new chutzpah armband. From where Paul stood, it appeared nearly
identical to his own. The same pure white color, the same size and shape, but
with emblems of fantasy emboldened on its surface instead of engineering
symbols.

She held it up high so that he could see it clearly. “‘At
last, after two thousand years of research, the Illudium Q-36 explosive space
modulator. At last…!’”

Paul chuckled. Leave it to her to quote
Marvin the
Martian
at a time like this.

The planet Mars

Coprates Chasma

Gathol House

Friday, 8:17 a.m. LMST

December

Day 49

“D
o you know
what day this is?” Capie asked as they sat at the breakfast table and munched
on reconstituted scrambled eggs and canned ham.

Paul smiled benignly, knowing full well where this
conversation was headed. “Of course. It’s the day before Christmas Eve. I plan
to give everybody tomorrow and Christmas day off, of course, to celebrate the
holiday.”

Capie stabbed at her scrambled eggs, frustrated. “This will
be my first Christmas away from home.”

Paul put his fork down. “I didn’t know that. I’m sorry, but
I don’t see a way for us to go to Chicago anytime in the near future.”

His wife apparently wasn’t hungry because she laid her fork
down and sighed. “I don’t either. I guess the biggest problem is that it
doesn’t even feel like Christmas. No Christmas carols, no decorations, no tree,
no special treats, no presents, no feeling of Christmas at all. No chocolates,
even. And worst of all, no father to share Christmas Day with!”

Paul reached over to lay his hand on top of hers, squeezing
it gently while offering an understanding smile. “Losing a parent is not easy,
I know.” He paused for a moment. “As for the rest of what you said—well, I
wouldn’t know about that!” he continued, with a more mischievous smile. “I
guess it might be time to spring my little Christmas present on you. Maybe then
you won’t be so down in the dumps.”

“You have a present for me?” she asked, a sliver of hope in
her voice. “How? You can’t exactly go Christmas shopping on Mars.”

“My dear, who said we were going to celebrate Christmas on
Mars?”

She blinked and looked even more hopeful. “Earth? Are we
going to Earth? I thought we were too busy. And the ship has no engines,
remember?”

“My dear,” Paul shook his head in mock admonishment. “It’s
Christmas!”

“I know that insufferable grin of yours,” Capie sternly eyed
him. “You have a plan and you’re just dying to show how smart you are. So, tell
me, oh intelligent one, what is your plan?”

Paul chuckled. She had him dead to rights. Again.

“Well, it’s not really a big deal,” he replied. “The rock
that the Daneels fused together in Ascraeus Mons is more than enough of an
amulet to portal us most of the way to Earth, even as far around the Solar
System as it is from us right now.”

She stared at him in shock. “We can portal to Earth? Just
like that? How far is it?”

“In round numbers, 149.43 million miles. Even with Ascraeus
Mons, we can’t go that far, not all in one jump. But with spacesuits, we can
now do what the Daneels did, and make the last part of the trip in multiple
jumps. No sweat, not really. And, just for safety sake, I want to keep the last
portal to the Earth’s surface a short one. Imagine the energy signature we
would leave otherwise! No, I’d like to stop short a bit, say to within 10,000
miles of the surface and then portal one last time, straight to Earth. Sort of
sneak up on it a bit, to avoid anyone in
Errabêlu
from noticing. If we
are careful about how we use magic on Earth and avoid the capital cities, and
Chicago and Lancaster, California, we should be okay.”

She winced at his stress on those words but made no comment.

Paul smiled, reaching out to squeeze her hand. “I want us to
have a good time without looking over our shoulders while we are there. And I’d
like to allow the Daneels to go too, all of them. I’ve been thinking that they
could use a little more field experience on Earth, to get the lay of the land,
as it were. And maybe enjoy a little Christmas time for themselves as well.”

“And maybe take the mirror woman back to Earth too?” Capie
asked, beaming happily.

“Categorically and most assuredly, that’s a big 10-4,” Paul
affirmed, nodding earnestly. “She
has
rather worn out her welcome here,
hasn’t she?”

Capie came around the table and wrapped her arms around her
husband, squeezing tightly.

“I love you,” she whispered in his ear, then pulled back and
giggled in glee. “Where do we go for Christmas?”

Paul shrugged. “I thought we’d start in Napapiiri, Finland.
I understand the Santa Claus Holliday Village is one of the great places in
Europe to see during the holidays. Highly recommended.”

“You
are
romantic,” she accused him, amused. “I was
starting to wonder.”

“Oh, and before we go, I’ve arranged for Daneel 1 to do a
little Christmas shopping for us. He already has my list—”

“That’s a great idea,” Capie declared, jumping up from the
table and practically sprinting out the doorway. “I need to make a list too!
Oh, where do I start? There are so many choices…” and her voice faded away as
she hurried out of range.

“I think I’ve unleashed a giant shopping spree,” murmured
Paul to himself.

Ω

They assembled outside the Gathol House, Paul and Capie,
along with all fourteen Daneels. Visibility was a bit on the poor side these
days, what with the dust storm that was currently raging within two hundred
miles of the chasma. The storm in Mars’s southern hemisphere had grown larger,
now lapping north over the equator a few hundred miles. The way it was growing,
Paul fully expected it to engulf the entire planet in the next couple of weeks.

Inside his spacesuit, Paul was dressed in black dress
slacks, a white cashmere turtleneck sweater, black leather loafers with gold
studs and a camel corduroy jacket. Not to be outdone, Capie was wearing medium
heel slippers, a loose fitting pair of black slacks, a chiffon lace blouse with
a blend of pink and black colors, and a black cardigan coat that stretched
below her waist.

“I can’t wait to get to Earth and get out of this spacesuit,”
she carped. “It’s a little warm with both these clothes and it too!”

“Is everyone here?” Paul asked loudly, to divert the
conversation.

“We are ready, Dad,” Daneel 1 confirmed with barely suppressed
enthusiasm in his voice.

“We will use the caldera rock in the Ascraeus Mons and
portal about two-thirds of the way to Earth,” Paul explained to them. “From
there, we’ll take shorter jumps until we get to within 10,000 miles and then
from there everyone can use their own talisman to go down to the Earth’s surface.
I suggest Chongqing, in southwest China, one of the largest most populated
cities on Earth. We will split up there and go our separate ways until 9 p.m. HAST
of December 25th. Then we will all report on the crest of the mountain of Lehua
Island in Hawaii. We’ll start the return trip to Mars from there. Are there any
questions?”

“None, Dad,” Daneel 1 replied with a confident smile. “And
thanks, Dad, for the holiday. I promise that no one will get into trouble. We
are not sailors on leave.”

Paul chuckled in appreciation. “Mom and I will start off in
Finland. From there, we will likely go to Cologne, Germany.” He took a moment
to study Daneel 1’s countenance. “Are you sure you don’t have a problem taking
the mirror woman to that senior citizen’s home in Denver, Colorado?”

“No sweat. We’ll take care of it. Have a nice holiday, Dad.
We will see you tomorrow evening,” said Daneel 2 with a wave of an extended holographic
arm.

All the Daneels shouted enthusiastically. Within minutes,
they had all portaled to the caldera of the Ascraeus Mons where Paul reached
down to touch the Martian surface and initiate a much larger portal spell.
Capie stepped close. A huge portal sprang into existence, more than 30 feet in
diameter and 100 million miles long.

With a grin, Paul waved an arm toward the portal. “Wagons
forward! Yo!”

Arm-in-arm with Capie and followed by fourteen Scotties,
they stepped through.

Ω

In China, Paul turned both his and Capie’s spacesuits over
to Daneel 1 for safekeeping.

Then they did indeed start their holiday by portaling to St.
Petersburg, Russia to quickly buy some heavy winter wear. From there, they
proceeded to the Santa Claus Holiday Village in Finland, as Paul had planned,
where they ambled around the city streets. Nearly six inches of fresh snow lay on
the ground, the sky a crystal clear blue. Ah, and the village with all its
decorations was everything the internet claimed it was, a holiday delight to be
experienced and thoroughly enjoyed.

Christmas danced in the air here like fairies spreading
magic spells. (Hmm, did fairies really exist too? Paul made a mental note to
check on that later.)

After their jaunt, they popped through a portal to Cologne,
Germany, where they spent a couple of hours walking around the market plaza,
just across from the gigantic gothic cathedral of Kölner Dom. There was no snow
here yet, but the air was still crisp enough to see their breath in the air.
The city seemed alive with the Christmas spirit and they walked the avenues,
enjoying the decorations, the scents and the sight of people scurrying to and
fro, intent on their holiday errands.

They ate a lavish meal in the Casa Calcada restaurant in
Porto, Portugal and left by portal to jump the Atlantic to see the sights in
New York City. Paul confessed that he had always wanted to see Christmas in
that city since watching
Home Alone 2
. And the two Armsteads did very
much enjoy themselves, visiting the huge well-decorated Christmas tree and all
the Christmas lighting at Rockefeller Center, and then window shopping at
Bloomingdales, Macy’s, Saks, and Lord & Taylor. But the crowds were a bit
much and they left to attend the Christmas Eve Pageant at the West Tisbury
Congregational Church on Martha’s Vineyard, an outstanding Christmas event that
dated back several decades—one that was highly recommended by the general
public.

They strolled the snow lined streets of Boston, admiring the
city’s many and wonderful decorations; then they portaled to Aspen, Colorado
for a carriage ride through snow filled streets. From there, they returned to
Boston and retired for the night at the XV Beacon Hotel where their room
sported a gas fireplace and comfortable New England décor. Daneel 1 dropped by
for a few minutes to deposit several gifts wrapped in brilliantly colored
Christmas paper, then he zipped out again via portal.

Paul and Capie cozied up together in front of the fireplace,
roasting marshmallows, drinking hot chocolate, and listening to all of their
favorite Christmas carols.

Ω

In the morning they exchanged gifts, where Paul gave Capie a
diamond bracelet and three very expensive 1.6 oz. bottles of Clive Christian
No. 1 perfume for women. In addition, he passed along gifts given to her by the
Scotties, including several boxes of gourmet chocolates from Pierre Marcolini,
LA Burdick, Leonidas and MarieBelle. Paul’s presents from Capie included a TAG
Heuer men’s Carrera chronograph watch, a dark gray Italian silk/wool suit and,
from the Scotties, a graphing calculator, a binary clock, and a portable
retractable whiteboard, complete with a set of colored marking pens.

Capie smiled when Paul opened the package with the suit.
“Dear, I love you to death but you really do need some new clothes.”

He smiled and gave a nod in agreement. “We can work on that
when we get back to Earth on a permanent basis. I’m sure we can come up with
some new clothing for both of us. But the suit here is really nice. I love it!
Thanks!”

They dressed, checked out of the hotel and ate brunch at The
Capricci, a five star restaurant on the Italian island of Anacapri in the city
of Capri. They dined outdoors, on the patio where the fresh warm breeze from
the Mediterranean Sea was a stark contrast to the snowy vistas of Finland,
Boston, Aspen and New York City.

Afterwards, they portaled to Venice, touring Saint Marks
Square, Doge’s Palace, and Basilica San Marco, followed by a sumptuous dinner
in Ai Mercanti and, of course, an extended and very romantic gondola ride along
some of the more scenic canals of the city.

A trip halfway around the globe took them to Las Vegas, just
in time to get premium seats in the Reynolds Hall at the Smith Center to watch
the full orchestra production of
The Nutcracker
. From there, it was a
short portal hop to the Bellagio Fountains to enjoy watching the dancing
streams of crystal clear water synchronized with all the popular seasonal
tunes.

At 11:30 p.m. PST (8:30 p.m. HAST), they took a series of
short portal jumps to the desolate crest of the uninhabited island of Lehua,
just north of Ni’ihau Island. They stood on the cliff above the rocky shoreline
below them, looking across the moonlit breakers of the Pacific Ocean. Here the
ocean breeze was quite pleasant.

Capie sighed. “I had a wonderful time,” she confessed sadly.
“Oh, why does time have to go by so quickly?”

Paul hugged her, recognizing that her rhetorical question
didn’t need an answer from him. Indeed, he was wondering the same thing.

Not far from their location, a portal opened up and several
black cubes floated through. The Daneels were starting to arrive.

“It’s almost time to go,” he stated sympathetically. “This
won’t be the last chance we have to holiday like this. We have many years ahead
of us.”

She smiled and kissed him deeply. He returned her kiss with
great enthusiasm.

“I love you,” she declared, as she pulled back, her eyes
locked on his.

“And I you,” he responded. He reached out an arm, taking the
spacesuit that Daneel 1 had for him while Capie reluctantly accepted hers. They
had so much experience with putting them on that it was only the work of a
couple of minutes plus a few spells to don them and seal them up. Then, with
Paul opening a portal, they strolled leisurely through, hand in hand.

First stop would be the Moon, to the peak of Mons Huygens,
the largest mountain there. Then they would use a series of portals back to Ascraeus
Mons on Mars. Tomorrow, it would be back to daily grind, in their preparations
to make war on the wizards of Earth.