The Ghosting of Gods (2 page)

Weak veins once collapsed in death

Entwine cords of voice…

Descriptions of shrieking souls follow. In detail as poetic as it is disturbing. My best friend is spontaneously, freakishly talented. Meanwhile, Leesel’s catching rain in cupped hands and, I think, listening to Poe’s verse, judging by the way she casually steps closer to him, though she’s careful not to look directly at him.

It’s not so much the haunted chapel I’m interested in. It’s the cemetery behind it. Just fifty yards away, tombstones hunker in the shadows. I feel drawn to the graves, like always. At the age of four I was identified by the church as being special. I’ve never known how they knew I was different. No matter. They set my purpose and my identity.

But I doubt. Whatever the truth is, I want it. I really don’t care what priests believe. I don’t want faith. I want knowledge, and I’ll eat any forbidden fruit to get it.

I’m sincere. I need a sign.

The graves pull at me. Are crystals here too? Every burial ground in town has them now. Sometimes, I don’t even have to dig. Sometimes, they come to me of their own volition.

…blasphemous blessed arise to
Stalk familiar pews in tandem nightmares

With these ones who pray awake

Emmy’s murder is a nightmare. And the vortex that took me there. Was it real? Did it happen, or was it a hallucination?

The forbidden fruit and Emmy both lie in graveyards. I know this in my soul. And so I defy my priests. But I’ve endangered my friends. Poe, Ava…

I reach for Leesel. She’s gone.

3
digging man

My sweetheart little girl is in the cemetery. For anyone to see.

She harbors no fear of graves or priests. Leesel slips in the mud as she skips around tombstones, patting each one and saying, “Duck, duck, duck—goose!” Squealing and laughing, her short legs pump with astonishing agility to escape me. Out of the corner of my eye, I glimpse disturbed dirt and catch Leesel just in time, grabbing her around the waist and yanking her back.

Her laughter ends.

An open grave gapes at us from the base of a tall, scraggly tree, positioned at the back of the small graveyard. The hole is the standard six feet deep, with tree roots knotted at one end, forming a kind of headstone in the absence of a real one. Dirt heaps around the edges of the grave. I lean forward to peer down into the earth. No coffin.

I push Leesel behind me and hold her there. “Poe,” I yell.

“What is it? A spirit?”

“Get over here. Now.”

I hear him sloshing around the chapel, but he stops outside the graveyard. He moans and crosses his chest. “What are you doing, Jesse? Come back, come back!” Out in the open, he ducks his head, trying to hide his six foot frame. It won’t work. His white hair glows on top of his head.

Dropping his backpack to the ground, he rifles around in it, finds what he’s looking for, and uses two hands to aim a working flashlight into my face.

I’m dumbfounded. “Where’d you get batteries?”

“Traded.”

I shield my eyes with one hand, point down at the open grave with the other. Leesel is free but stays put.

The beam of light follows my finger and dances alongside the muddy hole. “Holy Mary,” Poe shouts. He fishes the crucifix out from under his coat and holds it up like a shield, pulling the chain so tight I think it’ll snap.

“Take Leesel back over to the chapel,” I order, walking her over to him. “Wait there for me.”

“Somebody desecrated that grave.”

“Yeah, Poe, I see that. And so does Leesel. Can you take her back to the front of the chapel now?” He catches my meaning and takes Leesel’s arm. She pretends not to notice and he drops her limp arm. She does walk away though. Trailing after her, Poe keeps his eyes glued to the grave.

Suspicion settles my nerves.

Beer bottles lie scattered. Somebody must have been really drunk to go this far in staging a haunted dwelling. But why? I ponder this mystery while listening to Poe launch into more verse.

Raindrops plop inside the grave. It’s muddy. Dark. I feel a strong impulse to reach down into the water. I wonder if there’s something down there. Checking over my shoulder to make sure Poe and Leesel can’t see what I’m doing, I sit at the edge of the grave, swing myself around and down.

I nearly lose my balance. Something rolls beneath my boots. Crystal balls.

Using my scarf so I don’t touch my skin to the crystal, I grab one out of the water and hold it up to my face, but I see nothing inside of it. Wishing I had Poe’s flashlight, I almost call him over.

Clouds break, allowing moonlight to wash over me. Once out of the grave, I see that Poe and Leesel have their backs to me. They stand to the side of the chapel, with Poe shining his flashlight into the woods. He’s trembling.

There’s movement in the trees.

Leesel gasps when I grab her up. Poe twists around and clutches my shoulders. His mouth works for a bit before any
sound comes out. “There’s…somebody…there.”

Hell
. I take his flashlight. Shine it into the woods. “Who, Poe?”

No sound comes out of his mouth.

“Leesel, sweetie?” I prompt, my voice calm and quiet as I hack the forest with the beam of the flashlight. “Did you see somebody in the woods?”

“Yes, Jesse.”

Oh, shit
.

Poe finds his voice. “Tall. In a long coat dragging the ground. Smelled awful, like the trash yard where stuff gets burned. Couldn’t see his face. I don’t think he had one.”

Not what I need right now. This is typical of Poe. He says stuff like this all the time. We’d been friends for a year when he confessed his belief to me that I was being stalked by a vampire from Other London. Apparently it was the reason he asked to be my best friend in the first place. We were in first and second grades at the time.

“Poe. Did you see a priest?”

He only looks at me in bewilderment.

I kneel in front of Leesel. “Was it a priest, Sweetie?”
Please say no
. “I need to know.”
Because if it was, we need to run away
.

“We can’t leave Mommy. The priests would get her because I went in the cemetery.”

Squeezing her hand, I don’t even bother giving her a reassuring smile. She’s too smart for that. “I wouldn’t leave Ava behind.”

“Because you love her.”

“Leesel. Are you telling me you saw a priest?”

“I don’t think so. But whoever it was, might tattle.”

Poe’s clutches my shoulders. “We’ll never make it back through these woods. This is where he lives. He knows where to jump out, where to drag us.”

A light swings in the darkness.

I slap my hand over Poe’s mouth before he can scream. Pulling
him down, we run, crouching low to the ground, in the opposite direction of the approaching light. Safely in the shadows of the trees, we watch.

Underbrush snaps, and a lean figure emerges from the woods. He holds high a lantern. Poe is right that the guy wears a long coat, only I would describe it as a monastery robe from old times, with a cowl that’s pulled up over the man’s head, hiding his neck and shadowing his face. It’s heavy looking, not at all like the fine, silky robes our priests wear. A Halloween costume?

The man goes up the steps and stands on the landing of the chapel. Pacing back and forth on creaking boards, he raises an arm to pound on the front door. He calls out in a rough voice.

“What did he say?” Leesel asks quietly. Her arms wrap around the tree trunk we’re hiding behind. Poe is humming with terror, so I answer.

“Be there
, I think.”

The man knocks again. No one answers. Trees drip softly on us as we wait.

“I have to go to the restroom,” Leesel informs me.

I hold a finger to my lips. The man has given up and is staggering down the steps. Bells jingle. His lantern throws light in our direction. He staggers back up.

“Calm down, Poe,” I say, hugging him to me. We’re in trouble, something wrong is happening, but I pretend differently. “He’s just a drunk, okay? It must have been him who dug up the grave. Just an old crazy guy.”

“Jesse, be realistic. Don’t you see how he hides his face with the hood? What do you think he looks like beneath there?”

“I’ve gotta go,” Leesel reminds me. “Will you take me to the chapel? I need a restroom.”

“There’s not going to be a restroom in the chapel, Leesel. Go in the woods. Not far.”

She dances in place while I strain to see the robed man adjust his lantern, making it bright. He comes back down the steps and
stands in front of the chapel. Bending over, he scratches at the ground with his free hand.

Poe nudges me. “What’s he doing now?”

“I don’t know. He’s drunk.” I shrug my shoulders, as if I’m bored. But I’m remembering something. The lantern in Emmy’s graveyard. There were bells tied to it…damn. Poe didn’t do it. I’m so stupid. This guy…he’s following me. He
knows
.

For a moment, I’m stunned. I stare at Poe. At Leesel. With icy clarity, it hits me. We can’t go back.

We can’t go back
.

They’ll never let me in Emmy’s graveyard again. How else can I save her? Where else do I find her ghost?

My throat burns as I watch the drunkard, the spy of priests. He straightens and wanders in a circle, then heads back around the side of the chapel, toward the graveyard. Carefully, I pick my way through the dark, staying hidden in the trees, but keeping the man in sight.

He’s tiptoeing through the graveyard, his arms out for balance, jingling lantern dangling from one hand.

There’s no time to attack the man or question him. The priests are too clever.

“Let’s get out of here,” I whisper. Poe reluctantly agrees, though of course he doesn’t know what I really mean. I’m worried about Leesel. She’s so little. She won’t want to leave her mommy. But going back isn’t safe. We’ll have to leave Ava behind.

What have I done?

Bouncing Leesel insists she can’t make it all the way home without having an accident, and she’s not going in the woods. There’s no time to reason with her. I go to pick her up, but Poe jabs me in the side.

The spy has dropped to all fours and is touching his face to the ground. Looks like he’s sniffing. A hunchbacked silhouette in the lantern light, he paws in the weeds and mud. His body rocks
from side to side as he digs faster and faster, scooping away earth and lobbing it to either side of himself. Mud walls arise as his hole deepens. His speed is surreal, the rhythm of his movements hypnotizing. Suddenly he grabs his lantern and leans down behind the pile of mud. The eclipse of lantern light jolts me back to myself.

Poe is bumping into my shoulder, trying to get my attention. “He’s digging us a grave. This is scary.” Poe is several inches taller than me, yet he’s barely peering over my shoulder.

“Where’s Leesel?” I ask, panicked. She’s no longer bouncing beside me. I can’t see her, and I hope she hasn’t gone too far for her restroom privacy. Instinct shifts my eyes to the chapel.

No
.

Leesel’s already on the porch, a small shadow against the white door.

“Stay here,” I breathe at Poe.

Digging Man twirls, cackling.

“Wait,” Poe whispers. “Look. He’s not alone. Over there—see?”

A small circle of light floats in the dark, maybe a hundred yards away, out in the woods.

Leesel slips inside the chapel with a wave of her hand. She leaves the front door standing open.

“He’s got more lanterns,” Poe says, pointing back at the graveyard. “He’s setting them up in a circle around his new grave. He’s getting in! We should pray.”

Digging Man lifts his head out of his ditch and peeks around. I hold my breath, but he drops back down. Several lumps of mud fly up and out. He pops his head up, looks around again. Submerges for more excavating.

I’m afraid I’ll catch his attention if I move toward the chapel. Right now he’s oblivious to the chapel or anyone in it.

This makes no sense. If my priests sent him to spy on me, what’s he doing all this for?

The new light in the woods draws nearer. Blinking in and out of view, it seems to be headed straight for the chapel. A voice carries over. Female. The light stops and swings in a circle. The voice yells Leesel’s name.

“Is that Ava Lily?” Poe asks in dumb surprise.

The head pops out of the pit and cocks to the side, watching Ava’s light blip through the trees.

Digging Man scrambles out of his pit.

4
burning bush

The freak stretches his lantern-yellowed neck, jutting his boney chin forward, and monitors Ava’s approach. He’s utterly motionless except for a tic in his right leg.

Leesel squeals inside the chapel.

Lurching forward, Digging Man slips in the mud but manages to keep his balance. Escaping the circle of light cast by lanterns, he sprints toward Ava, wailing, but sounding as if he’s gagged.

My legs tangle with Poe’s as we both rush for her. Together we go down, and I scrape my face along the side of a tree. Digging Man keens, lips sewn together, the sound of it peeling my nerves.

Ava
.

I pull myself up and run, weaving through tree trunks as fast as I can, my eyes fixed on Ava’s lantern. “Jesse?” she calls out. Her lantern shifts. Moves toward me. Picks up speed. “Jesse?”

“I’m here.” Catching her in my arms, I kiss her cheek.

Digging Man’s cries recede.

There’s no need trying to stop him. My fate was decided the moment he was sent to spy. His testimony isn’t necessary for judgment to be passed. It’s not simply that my priests doubt me. My priests suspect I have knowledge of ghosts beyond what I confess. They want to know my spiritual secrets. That’s why they sent the spy.

“You have to trust me, you have to do what I say,” I blurt at Ava.

She holds her lantern up. “You’re bleeding,” she says, peering out from the hood of her raincoat, touching my cheek softly. “Jesse, you’re too exhausted to be traipsing out here with Poe. I can’t believe you…Was that Poe screaming, playing horror
games? He’s such an idiot. It’s not funny. Do you have Leesel?”

I nod, unable to speak another word. Suddenly, it’s just us, our faces alight from the lantern, with darkness all around. Concern flits across her face when she sees my eyes fill with tears. “I’m sorry,” I manage to whisper.

Poe clears his throat. I realize he’s standing a few feet away, his chest caved in as he hugs himself. I take a quick step back from Ava.

“Oh, Mommy, Mommy. Here I am!”

“Sweetie?” Ava starts toward Leesel’s voice. First she looks into my eyes, and she knows to be afraid.

Poe races to keep up with Ava. “I’m so sorry, Ava Lily. She followed us…”

“Come dry out by the fire,” Leesel calls, her voice a squeal of delight. “In the chapel.”

The fire?

Poe stalls on the front porch, so Ava and I push past him. “We don’t have much time,” I confess to Ava. “Get her.”

Cold
. Goosebumps wash over me in waves, and spontaneously, I open myself to voices. None come. Wary of who could be hiding here, I start up the center aisle, touching the wooden pews and making them wobble on the uneven floor. A layer of dust an inch thick covers the floor, muffling my footsteps.

Leesel stands at the head of the aisle. Holding out her hands, she warms them over a fire that burns in a pristine white ceramic tub on a raised platform. Ava wraps an arm around Leesel’s middle and pulls her back.

“She started a fire in the baptismal!” Poe accuses, indignant. He’s followed us inside after all. “Oh, rapture,” he adds, quickly untying his boots. There’s a holly bush in the tub. That’s what’s burning. Only it’s not. It’s on fire, but perfectly green with red berries dotting its foliage. The bush neither shrivels nor blackens. “Jesse! This sort of haunting is perfect for the religious twist in my poetry. Take off your boots. It’s hallowed ground. Jesse? You
okay?”

A burning bush. God is signaling. God is communicating.

It’s a sign.

God is watching. He’ll help us escape. Suddenly, I know this was meant to be. Knowledge can’t be found in my town. It can’t be found with the priests. I’m meant to leave this place.

I swallow. I didn’t mean for Poe and Leesel to be caught up in this. If only Leesel hadn’t followed us, she wouldn’t be here, and neither would Ava. But
Poe
. I’m so glad he’s with me.

There’s no time, so I’m blunt. “Poe. We’ve got to run. Do you understand? That man, he was spying on me. The priests sent him. We can’t go back to town, Poe. We can’t go home.”

Leesel hears none of this. She’s broken free of Ava. Flapping her arms, she runs up and down the aisle, warbling like a ghost. “This chapel is haunted. La, la, la, it would make a fun playhouse,” she sings. Abruptly, she bolts herself to the floor, slaps her hands on her hips, and looks defiant. “Mommy, I hope you don’t think I started that fire. I absolutely did
not.”

Poe tugs on my arm. Deciphering his expression is difficult. “Priest knows you’re good,” he tells me, but his voice falters. “We’ll go talk with Priest. It’ll be okay. You lost your sister. Your obsession with graveyards is understandable, forgivable…”

Keening. Out in the woods. Digging Man isn’t gone.

Ava’s eyes are on me as she pulls Leesel into her arms. “Where do we go, Jesse? Do you know where to go?”

Using my coat like a blanket, I smother the fire in the baptismal. “Turn off your lantern,” I tell Ava.

Her lip trembles. “No. You answer me! You tell me you have a safe place for us to go. Please.”

We now have Leesel’s attention. Her face turns serious. She listens to the adults.

Snatching Ava’s lantern, I extinguish the light. “The spy’s still here. That means they’re already coming. We need dark.”

Shushing Leesel, I move to the side of a window and look out.
Digging Man’s new grave with its circle of lanterns continues to glow, but the digger is nowhere. The night sky has cleared. We’ll easily be seen in the moonlight if we try to escape. My eyes rake the woods. There are many shadows in which to hide priests. Straining to hear voices, I think I hear something, but it’s impossible to tell with the rustling trees and creaking shutters.

“Now?” Ava whispers, looking out beside me.

God will protect us. “Yes. Now.”

Poe’s kneeled in prayer at the smoking baptismal. His prayer continues while I haul him to the doorway where Ava stands riveted. “Where’s Leesel?” I demand, then see her crouching behind a pew. She holds a finger to her lips.

Turning, I see that priests have appeared in the clearing outside the chapel, six dark shapes in the moonlight.

My heart flutters. Ava’s nails dig into my arm. “Oh, Jesse,” she whines. “Six of them. The number required to pass judgment.”

Only yesterday I was told my talent was so remarkable the church wished to overlook my young age and begin my apprenticeship in exorcising not only dwellings, but people. It was a lie. They’ve suspected me for some time, hence the long inquisitions after each exorcism. I resisted. Some things I keep to myself.

They know.

“We’re saved,” Poe yelps, rushing for the door. “They’ll get the crazy digger!”

I pin his arms behind his back and wrestle him back inside the chapel. “Trust me,” I plead, though I’m the last person he should trust. “Poe, are these the priests who told you to bring me out here today?”

“Yeah. Look. My beloved Priest. And another one I know. He gave me the holy water. What are you doing? What is this about?”

This is my fault. They know about my visits to graves, know I dig up crystal balls, know I might be a medium…

Digging Man appears. The priest on the right places a hand on
the freak’s shoulder. From the darkness of the tree line, another robed man steps forward. And then another. And another. They stand with my priests.

Poe sees this. Gasps.

Ava hugs Leesel tight. I place a hand on Leesel’s head where she stands near the window. She looks up at me, and the moonshine catches her face. She doesn’t look scared, but she does look serious. “Are they afraid to come in the haunted chapel and get us?” she asks me.

“I don’t think so. They’re waiting on something.”
What are they waiting for?

“We need to run. Maybe they can’t catch us. Not all of us.”

The priests are young and fit, perfectly capable of chasing down Ava, Leesel, and probably Poe. His heart won’t be in it. He won’t run away from his beloved Priest or the others. But me. I could possibly get away. Startled, I realize Leesel already has this figured out.

Does God mean for only me to get away?

No. That can’t be. I won’t leave my friends.

Poe picks up the lantern, cranks it high, sits on a pew. Bowing his head, he fervently prays in Latin.
“Christus factus est pro nobis oboediens usque ad mortem. Mortem autem crucis. DEUS meus, ex toto corde poenitet me omnium meorum peccatorum, eaque detestor
,
quia peccando, non solum poenas a Te iuste statutas promeritus sum
,
sed praesertim quia offendi Te…”

Ava starts to cry. “Jesse? Do something.”

Poe’s voice grows more intense.

“…
summum bonum, ac dignum qui super omnia diligaris
.
Ideo firmiter propono, adiuvante gratia Tua, de cetero me non peccaturum peccandique occasiones proximas fugiturum…”

Do I surrender myself? It won’t matter if I do. The priests will assume I’ve told my friends about the crystal balls. Association proves guilt. Ava knows this. Leesel knows this.

We’ve seen what’s happened to the mediums in town and
everyone close to them.

Poe’s Latin silences. I turn to see him standing on his pew. “Scary weird,” he says, pointing downward.