The Girl in the Garden (31 page)

Veena Aunty glanced around once more before guiding me through the front gate and down the stairs. We sat down together on the bottom step, facing each other with our backs against the stone railing and our knees touching.

“You’re right. You do deserve an explanation. It’s just that I don’t even know where to begin.”

“From the beginning.”

“Let me think.” Wrinkles pleated the space between her brows. “Do you remember that summer when your mother… went away for a while, and I came and stayed with you?”

I nodded.

“So you know that she is, well, troubled. After that… episode, we had things under control. The doctors gave her medicine that helped. But she has stopped taking her medicine recently. I know that you’ve noticed some changes in her. I’ve taken the liberty of telling your father because she wouldn’t do it herself. Hopefully when he gets here he will be able to reason with her. There’s only so much that I can do.”

“But what does this have to do with Dev and Gitanjali?” I asked.

Veena Aunty looked up, as if she were hoping she would find the answers written across the sun-streaked sky.

“I just don’t understand,” I continued, and then I remembered a conversation I had had with Dev, the night he had shook me by the shoulders and called Amma a whore. “Dev said he used to be engaged to Amma. Is that true?”

Veena Aunty’s lips parted and closed again. She was silent for a while before she finally said, “Yes, it’s true. Dev was in love with your mother for a long time. It was sick and selfish, but it was the only way he knew how to love. And I can’t say that I fully blame him. He had it rough as a child.”

I narrowed my eyes. Was Veena Aunty actually defending Dev? “What do you mean?”

“Well, he lived alone with his old widowed mother in a run-down little place a few miles from here, and they were dirt-poor. His mother had him later in life, and her health was not so good—she could never get any work, and his father had left nothing when he died. He had no siblings, no cousins. It wasn’t easy.”

Veena Aunty’s body alternately tensed up and relaxed as she spoke, as if telling this tale was both painful and comforting.

“We’re the same age, Dev and me, and I still remember him as a sickly little thing. Mind you, his stutter was even worse back then. The village kids used to tease him like anything. I wish I could exclude myself from that group, but I’m ashamed to say I did it, too. Me, Vijay, Prem—even Sadhana. Dev used to follow us around everywhere we went in spite of the teasing, hoping one day we might include him. God, I even remember a time when we drove him away from one of our games by throwing stones at
him. Only your mother was kind—to his face, at least. Behind his back, she was just as cruel as the rest of us, maybe even more so. She followed him after the stone incident and apologized for our behavior. She comforted him because even though she looked down on him, she still wanted his adoration. Then she came back to our group and laughed at how he had run away like a dog with his tail between his legs. But Dev adored her. She was incredibly beautiful even back then as a child. And Chitra, she liked the attention. Even though we never let him join in our games or adventures, we always knew he was there, watching us, watching her.”

Veena Aunty stopped talking and regarded me uncertainly, as if she realized she had gotten carried away with her story. I urged her on.

“But why would Muthashan have agreed to let Dev marry Amma?”

“I got married and moved to America when I was twenty. Your mother was fifteen at the time, so I wasn’t actually here when—” Veena Aunty paused and I could tell that she was struggling to find the right words. “Let’s just say something… happened. Dev saw something he shouldn’t have seen, and he used that information to his advantage.”

“What do you mean? What did he want? What did he see?”

Veena Aunty ignored my questions. “Dev’s mother had passed on by then, and he had nothing. He confronted Muthashan. He promised not to reveal to anyone what he had seen, but he wanted two things in return—to inherit the hospital and to marry your mother. Your grandfather was an incredibly proud man. He wanted Dev to keep the secret, so he agreed under the condition that after Dev,
the hospital would always remain in the Varma name and that it would never leave the family.”

So Amma’s father had betrayed her to protect some secret? Thinking back to what Vijay Uncle had told me, about Charles Holloway and all that my grandfather had been forced to give up for the sake of his family, the strength of his pride and desire to protect the hospital made some sense. But what could Dev have seen that would be so bad he would sacrifice his own daughter? I felt as if the wind had been knocked out of me, but I needed to know more. “Is that why Amma left?”

“Yes. She was so distraught when she found out about what her father had agreed upon that she ran away. Muthashi helped her escape—made the travel arrangements with me, gave her the money—even though she knew that her husband would be furious and that he might never forgive her. I didn’t know the circumstances until Chitra arrived on my doorstep in Plainfield.”

“But what were the circumstances?”

Veena Aunty continued speaking, as if she hadn’t heard me. “Your mother stayed with us for a few years. Eventually we introduced her to your father. On the outside, they seemed like an unlikely pair. He was older and so accomplished, and she was just this simple village girl. But they were both lonely and… running from painful memories. They stumbled upon each other at the right time. Your father knew that Chitra couldn’t stay with us indefinitely without a green card, so he married her. He would have married her anyway. He loves her, he really does. And she loves him, too. Unlike Muthashan, your father encouraged her to use her brain, to take classes, to read. And Chitra was so caring in the beginning, until she got sick. I still remember how happy they were.” Veena
Aunty smiled. I liked hearing about Aba and Amma being happy and in love, but at the same time, it pained me.

“What happened when Muthashan found out that Amma had run off? Why didn’t he come after her?”

She cleared her throat with an air of finality. “He never did find out. The night before your mother left, he had a stroke. He was in a coma for two weeks and then he died. Dev was enraged when he found out that Chitra had broken the deal, and I think that is when he truly changed. As a child, he could be sweet, I remember, but this experience hardened him. So he moved on from bribing your grandfather to bribing Sadhana. He threatened her and he has been blackmailing this family ever since. Bleeding them dry. He may not appear so, but he is a wealthy man now, and the Varmas, who were once the richest family in the area, are practically destitute. That is why he wields so much power over this family, and that is why they agreed to this wedding. Sadhana made the same deal with him that her father once made regarding Chitra. There is no money left, and if they marry Gitanjali off to him, then they think this will all finally end.”

My breath was coming in short gasps, but I tried to stay calm for fear that she would stop talking, thinking I was too young to hear what she was telling me. I did not have to worry, however, because she no longer seemed to be addressing me. Her eyes had a distant look. I had melded in with the green vine that crept over the stone railing and tumbled over my shoulder like Rapunzel’s braid.

“I can’t help feeling that some of this is my fault,” she continued with a sorrowful shake of her head. “I should have set a better example. If I had been nicer to Dev, then the others would have followed my example. And if we hadn’t been so awful to him as kids, maybe he wouldn’t
have blackmailed our family. If I had been a better person, maybe he wouldn’t have turned into such a monster. If I had only…”

“It’s not your fault, Veena Aunty,” I said, “You’re a great person. I mean, you saved Amma’s life. I would have never been born if it hadn’t been for you.”

Veena Aunty’s confused eyes met mine. “What are you talking about, Rakhee?”

“You know—how Amma got her scar… when you were both in the jungle together and Amma got bitten by that snake. You carried her to the hospital so that her father could give her medicine. She would have died without you.”

Veena Aunty stared at me. “That wasn’t me, Rakhee,” she said, then pressed her fingers to her lips with a sharp intake of breath.

“Who was it, then?”

“Oh God, I’ve opened up a can of worms here.” Veena Aunty’s fingers migrated to her temples.

“Tell me, please?” I grasped her wrist. “If you don’t tell me, then I’m just going to go ask Amma, and think how much it will upset her.”

“It wasn’t me.” Veena Aunty let out a long sigh. “It was Prem.”

My grip on her wrist tightened.

“Prem was with her. Prem carried her home. They used to go running around in the forests together all the time, just the two of them—” She broke off abruptly, and I knew without her having to tell me what the secret was, what they had been trying to hide all this time.

My moment of revelation was surprisingly quiet, as if I had known all along, known somewhere deeper than my mind—in my blood, in my soul.

“Tulasi is my sister,” I said.

Veena Aunty drew away from my feverish, clinging hand. “Rakhee, how do you know about her?”

“I found the garden. I’ve been visiting her all summer. We’re friends.”

The portrait had been so disconcerting because it had been like looking into the mirror and seeing another side of myself.

“Does anyone else know?” Sweat had formed beads on Veena Aunty’s upper lip. “Have you told your cousins?”

“No, no one knows, but I think Sadhana Aunty suspects.” I closed my eyes as I felt the rage beginning to build up inside me. “How could Amma have kept this from me? I have a sister and nobody bothered to tell me?”

“Rakhee, I know this is hard, but you have to understand it’s complicated. There’s no easy way of dealing with such things. I know there’s nothing I can say to justify it. This really has to be something your mother explains to you herself.”

“No!” My anger was temporarily replaced with desperation. “Please don’t tell her I know. You can’t tell anyone, not yet. You won’t tell on me, will you, Veena Aunty?” I didn’t want anyone finding out until I had figured out a plan for setting Tulasi free. Amma clearly didn’t want her. But surely Aba wouldn’t just leave her behind. If Amma found out that I knew about Tulasi, though, she might do something. She might hide Tulasi someplace where I would not be able to find her. I leaned forward and pressed my head against Veena Aunty’s bosom. Aba was not here yet. I had no one else to turn to.

Veena Aunty stroked my hair, but the gesture was surprisingly discomforting. I felt the cautious fear trembling in her fingers, as if she were petting a tarantula. “Rakhee,
I can’t make that promise. You don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into. This isn’t something you can handle on your own. This is an adult matter.”

Veena Aunty had been the one grown-up I thought I could rely upon and now this final illusion was shattered.

“Are you listening to me, Rakhee? Just don’t get any more involved, and let me handle this. I’ll take care of it. And your dad will be here soon. We’ll figure out a way.”

I withdrew my head from Veena Aunty’s breast.

I had a sister.

A real sister.

I knew with certainty that I couldn’t depend on any of them to save her. It was up to me.

I cleared my throat. “Okay. But since I know this much already, can’t you tell me the rest of the story?”

“I suppose there’s no keeping it from you now, though God knows I wish I could. I wish I could have protected you from all this.” She shook her head back and forth before continuing. “Chitra got pregnant at fifteen. When your grandfather found out, he was furious and mortified. He convinced Prem’s father to send him away to school at his expense. Then he forced your mother into seclusion. She wasn’t allowed to leave the house or to see anyone. He went so far as to tell Prem and his father that she had miscarried. They never even told Prem’s mother about the pregnancy because they didn’t want to upset her. The only people who knew were Chitra’s immediate family and, soon after, me. Nalini Aunty, the girls, no one living in this house knows except for Sadhana, Chitra, and Vijay. And I believe Muthashan’s sisters know, too, which is why he kept them away all these years. That’s it.”

I imagined Amma as a young slip of a girl in a white nightgown, with a grotesquely inflated belly, humming a
tune through the bars of her bedroom window, the lonely notes floating into the waiting forest. My own stomach bucked at the image, and I had to swallow hard to find my voice. “What happened then?”

“Your grandfather had decided to bring the baby to an orphanage and then go on as if nothing had ever happened. But when the baby was born and he saw that it was—she was—deformed, he took pity on her, knowing that she would have no chance of ever being adopted. He also knew there was no believable way they could keep the child openly or explain her existence. So instead he brought builders down from the north, and had the cottage and the wall constructed deep in the forest. They fitted the house out beautifully, sparing no expense, to cover their guilt.”

Veena Aunty peered at me through the corner of her eye. Hearing the story of Tulasi’s birth and the plot to keep her hidden intensified the twisting pain in my gut, but I forced my features to remain composed.