The Girl Who Never Was (24 page)

'Well done, Will,'he says and sits on the floor and commences aiming the hair dryer at every spot on his body.

'Glad you approve,'Will replies dryly and then sits next to Safford on the couch. Safford is curiously flipping through channels on the television, never pausing on any long enough to register what's playing.

'Thisworld magic,'he says, sounding delighted. 'This is wonderful.'

I look at Kelsey.

'I have to go to bed,'she says, looking white and drawn. 'My head is killing me and I am exhausted. Can we catch up in the morning?'

'Yes,'I say. 'Sure thing.'I give her a tight hug, and then she trails off into the nearest bedroom, collapsing onto the bed.

I look at Ben and Will. 'We're safe from the Seelies here?'

'For now,'Will answers. 'The Seelies detest Cottingley; there's too much old magic here that interferes with them. We don't have long here, but it should be long enough for Benedict to get better.'

'What if it's not?'

Will and Ben exchange a look that doesn't make me feel safe. But Will says, 'It will be.'

I look at Ben, still aiming the hair dryer at himself, and hear my mother's words. Benedict Le Fay will betray you. And then he will die. 'My'mother said something,'I begin, stumbling a bit over what to call her, because mother seems inappropriate.

I feel everyone look at me expectantly.

'She said it was prophesied for'for Ben to die.'I leave out the first part. I can't deal with all of this at once; it just seems too much.

'She would have said anything, Selkie,'says Ben. 'Any powerful words she could find. Don't let the words have the power she intends.'

I ignore him, looking at Will.

Will looks between the two of us. 'Benedict's right. She could have just been saying it.'

'You've never heard that part of the prophecy.'

'No,'Will says hedgingly.

I narrow my eyes, thinking. 'But would you have?'

'Prophecies are incredibly tricky things. They're almost impossible to read. If they were easy, everyone would do it and no one would ever do anything that wasn't prophesied, and that's not how the world works. So'no, I've never heard that part of the prophecy. But that doesn't mean she was lying necessarily.'Will says it reluctantly, awkwardly, looking at Ben.

Ben shakes his head and looks at me, pale eyes glittering. 'She would have said anything, Selkie. Anything at that moment. If she knew so much about the prophecy, then how would we have been able to escape?'

It's a good point. But it doesn't quite ease the tight ball of nerves in my stomach.

x In the morning, I wake without realizing I'd fallen asleep. My aunts are still snoring, but there is the sound downstairs of people moving about, so I get up and go down to investigate.

Will and Safford and Kelsey. Will is in the kitchen, and he is cooking something that smells heavenly. Safford and Kelsey each have an omelet in front of them.

'I don't understand,'says Safford, frowning at it. 'It tastes like strawberry jam.'

Kelsey laughs, and Safford turns a pleased shade of pink in response. 'It tastes like an omelet,'insists Kelsey.

'This is what strawberry jam tastes like,'says Safford. 'The Thisworld is a strange place.'

'Good morning,'I say.

'Good morning,'they all chorus. Kelsey blushes, which is interesting.

'Omelet, Selkie?'asks Will.

'You cook?'I've never really thought of Will cooking.

'I've lived several centuries. I spent a few of them perfecting my omelet,'replies Will.

'Okay then,'I agree.

'They taste like omelet.'Kelsey grins at me.

'Strawberry jam,'insists Safford good-naturedly, and Kelsey actually giggles.

I sit at the table with them, feeling like a third wheel. 'Where's everyone else?'I ask awkwardly.

'As only Benedict is unaccounted for as far as you're concerned, you must be asking after him,'remarks Will, whisking my omelet.

I might blush.

'Still sleeping,'says Kelsey. 'He slept with me last night.'

I blink. 'What?'

She grins. 'Relax. There was an extra bed in my room. When I woke up this morning, he was in it.'

'He needs his sleep,'says Will, flipping my omelet, 'so we'll let him sleep as long as he can.'

I wish Ben had chosen my room to crash in, but I suppose it was already crowded with my aunts and we didn't have an extra bed.

Kelsey reads my thoughts. 'Don't read anything into it. I don't even think he knows my name.'

'I didn't sleep at all last night,'says Safford. 'I stayed up all night watching that magnificent thing.'He gestures to the television.

'Safford thinks he's on holiday,'says Will, sounding disapproving as he puts my omelet in front of me.

'I haven't left Mag Mell in years. Or minutes. I am on holiday. There is water in this house. On command. When you want it.'

I pause. 'Is he talking about sinks?'

Kelsey nods.

'Kelsey says it's very common in the Thisworld. Benedict must hate it.'

'Safford's been telling me how Ben is allergic to water,'says Kelsey. 'How does he wash up? I'm so confused.'

Now I am too. 'You know, I've never asked him.'I look at Safford. 'So what did you think of the shower, then?'

Safford looks confused. 'The what?'

'Oh, if you liked the bathroom sink, you're going to love the shower.'

Safford brightens and leaps up and makes a beeline toward the bathroom.

'Now you've done it,'sighs Will. 'We'll have a flood, and I'll never hear the end of it from Benedict.'Will goes after Safford.

I eat my omelet steadily. It's actually really fantastic.

'So,'says Kelsey. She draws the word out playfully. 'You and Ben, huh?'

'I don't know,'I admit. 'Maybe? It's confusing.'

'You don't say,'says Kelsey. 'Odd, since everything else about your life makes total sense.'

'Shut up,'I say, knowing that I'm blushing.

'So I guess that's the end of you and Mike then, huh?'

'Mike,'I exclaim, suddenly remembering him.

'Don't worry. He thinks we went to Europe. Which I guess we kind of did. But you'll have to break up with him when we get back.'

I am perplexed. 'Why does he think we went to Europe?'

'Everyone does. It's what Will made everyone believe, so it wouldn't look like we'd just disappeared. He said he's not as good at that sort of thing as Ben is but that it should hold. I asked him what his specialty is and he said remembering. What do you think that means?'

I look at Kelsey, so calmly talking about all these insane things. 'I'm so sorry you're involved with this,'I say honestly.

She looks back at me. 'I'm not. You need help. At first I thought it was because you and everyone around you had gone insane, and now I know it's because none of you are insane. So I am with you here to the end of this little coup d''tat everyone keeps talking about.'

'This is above and beyond the call of friendship,'I tell her.

'Well, that's me,'she says. 'Awesome. I expect really good birthday gifts from you for the rest of my life.'

'Deal,'I say and pause, then add nonchalantly, 'Of course, it doesn't hurt that Safford's here.'

Kelsey blushes crimson. 'Stop it,'she hisses and looks over her shoulder, where Safford is nowhere in sight. Then she turns back to me, eager. 'He is cute though, don't you think? And funny.'

I smile, and I'm about to reply when my aunts arrive,

and then there is bustling about as they make tea. Will and Safford come back, and Will makes more omelets, and Safford shows us the wonders of the television, and eventually Ben gets up. He sits at the table, looking adorably mussed with sleep, and eats his omelet mechanically, looking more awake when he's done.

'How are you feeling?'I ask him. I ask it just because I love him, of course, but I'm also anxious to get back home. I feel like it's been forever since I saw home.

'Better,'he says and smiles. 'Let's go for a walk.'

My aunts both look alarmed.

'Is that safe?'Aunt Virtue demands.

'Just as safe as being in here,'Ben points out. 'It's not like this little cottage is going to hold back the Seelies.'

Not the best way to reassure my aunts, who utter little cries of protest. 'I'd love to get out of the house,'I say, standing, and then glance at Kelsey questioningly, feeling bad about abandoning her.

Kelsey shakes her head, eyes on Safford. 'I'm fine.'

'I don't know''Aunt True starts worryingly.

'I'll be fine,'I promise her. 'We won't go far.'

I am delighted to be able to join Ben outside. The weather has cleared, and the day is bright and cheerful. It's been so many hours since the last time I was in immediate terror for my life, it seems to have faded a little bit for me.

'Do you want to see something lovely?'Ben asks me.

xx We are climbing up a gentle hill, wending into woods.

'Here we are,'Ben says finally and sweeps his hand out in front of us. 'St. David's Ruin.'

It is still a little ways away from us, but it is lovely, a picturesque ruined tower, roofless, doorless, windowless, almost pointless, but lovely nonetheless, a circle of stone in the middle of the forest.

I am delighted by it, imagining it in medieval times, in times filled with faeries, when Cottingley was drenched with magic and faeries came here to convalesce, like a Caribbean resort. 'How old is it?'I ask. We are nearly all the way to it now.

'Not as old as you'd think,'answers Ben as we reach it. He watches as I duck into the tower itself. 'It's a folly, built to be a ruin.'

I look at the sky through its lack-of-roof. 'Why would you build something to be a ruin?'

'Because you're impractical,'suggests Ben. 'The world used to be a much more impractical place.'

I look at him. He is leaning against the stone of the open doorjamb, watching me. 'Do you miss that? The world being a more impractical place?'

He shrugs.

Standing there, in a fake ruin, seems like the proper time to ask, 'How old are you, anyway?'

'Is that important?'

'You sound like my aunts,'I tell him.

He laughs like I have told the most hysterical joke ever, sagging against the doorjamb in his hilarity.

'What?'I ask, staring at him.

'Sorry,'he gasps, trying to catch his breath. 'It's just'if you'd been present for any of the numerous arguments I've had with your aunts over the years, you'd know how hilarious is the idea that I sound like them. Sorry.'He clears his throat, attempting to become sober. 'The thing is that time passes differently in each world. You can live a century in a minute and vice versa. Asking me how old I am is impossible. It isn't an age I could translate for you, not an age you could understand. We don't even keep track of things like that in the Otherworld.'

Which explains my aunts. I lift myself up to perch on the open windowsill of the fake ruin's fakely ruined window. 'So how old am I then?'

'You may be seventeen,'he replies, 'you may be four hundred and twenty-three, and neither one of those numbers is your age.'

'Well, maybe that explains it then,'I say.

'Maybe that explains what?'

'Why sometimes I feel so very young and sometimes I feel so very old.'

'No,'says Ben, his mouth tipping up in a smile. 'I think that's just life, Selkie.'

'Ah,'I say. 'How very philosophical of you.'

'Why didn't you leave?'The question is abrupt, catching me off guard. The way he asks it is abrupt. His eyes are very serious, a storm-cloud gray in the fading light of the day.

'What?'I ask, confused. 'When?'

'When we were trapped, outside Tir na nOg, and your mother was there, and I told you to go, you didn't go. I kept telling you to go, and you never went.'

He is walking toward me very slowly, very deliberately, in that way he has, that way of making you realize that all of his attention has shifted toward this very moment, toward whatever he intends to do next. I curl my fingers into the stone of the windowsill underneath me, grabbing what little purchase I can, because tumbling out the window is the very last thing I would like to have happen at this moment.

'I wasn't leaving without you.'My mouth is very dry. I have to make a huge effort to swallow to get the words out.

He has reached me now, stands in front of me and looks down at me, and he looks like I am a puzzle he is desperately trying to figure out. This confuses me, because usually I wonder if I can possibly be any more humiliatingly obvious in my interactions with Ben.

'I told you I was right behind you,'he says.

I try to smile at him. 'Never trust a faerie,'I manage.

He chuckles and leans his head down, but he doesn't kiss me. 'You should really, really remember that more often than you do,'he murmurs at me.

'Should I?'My hands are fisted into his shirts. I wonder when that happened. But if I let go, I really am worried I'll just tumble bonelessly backward, so I keep them there.

'Yes. You're appallingly bad at it.'

He leans his head closer, so close that I actually close my eyes, because he really is so close that he should be kissing me at this point, and I don't know why he's not. His hands are on either side of me, which makes me surrounded by Ben on three sides, which is kind of a lovely thing to be, much lovelier than this ruined tower.

'But you're the only faerie I trust,'I am barely able to say, tipping my head a bit, so I can feel his breath across my cheek.

'I know.'The words drift across my skin. 'That's what makes you so appallingly bad at it.'

And then he kisses me. It is so lovely to be kissed that I am light-headed with it. Kissing Ben is one of the world's best activities. I lean closer to him, and if time is confused, if you can live a century in a minute, then I want this to be the minute in which I live a century, I want this to be the only minute I have, if I can only choose one.

He draws back, and I think he is going to say something, which I desperately don't want him to, but all he does is shift slightly, lifting his hands up to cup the back of my head, and then he kisses me again, and I sigh with joy and wonder how it could ever possibly be wrong to trust him.