The Girls

Table of Contents

 

 

Published by Dial Books for Young Readers
A division of Penguin Putnam Inc.
345 Hudson Street
New York, New York 10014

Copyright © 2000 by Amy Goldman Koss

Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data

Koss, Amy Goldman, date.

Summary: Each of the girls in a middle-school clique reveals the strong, manipulative hold one of the group exerts on the others, causing hurt and self-doubt among the girls.

eISBN : 978-1-101-04324-0

[1. Friendship—Fiction. 2. Behavior—Fiction.] I. Title.

PZ7.K8527Gi 2000

[Fic]—dc21 99-19318 CIP

L
AST SATURDAY, I STUMBLED half asleep into the kitchen, aiming for a bowl of granola, thinking it was just any old Saturday morning. But when I came through the kitchen door, my little sister, Lena, yelled, “Maya's awake! Can I tell her? Can I,
please
?”

My dad nodded.

“Tell me what?” I asked sleepily.

“Daddy's taking us to Six Flags, Magic Mountain TODAY!” Lena screamed. “And we can each bring a friend!”

“Really?” I was suddenly wide awake. “Really?”

Dad's smile grew. “Eat something first,” he said.

“YA-HOO!” I yelled. My sister was jumping around the kitchen and I jumped with her.

Lena was bringing Ann, of course. They always did everything together. My parents called them “Salt and Pepper.”

First I called Candace, because everyone in our group called Candace first for everything. That was just the way things were. But her line was busy, so I called Renée.

“Hi, Renée,” I said. “It's Maya. Wanna go to Magic Mountain with me today? My dad'll take us!”

I'd expected Renée to squeal with joy or moan with disappointment, but there was silence. That wasn't really
so
strange, though, because Renée always thought and spoke slowly. I'd just thought that talking about a trip to an amusement park with tons of rides would speed her up.

Finally Renée said, “Gee, Maya, I um . . . I can't.”

I knew her folks were going through a divorce and she was shuttling back and forth between their apartments, so I figured that was the reason she couldn't go. I could picture her serious face, her eyebrows knitted. Actually, Renée's eyebrows were so light, you could barely see them knit—you'd only see her forehead bunch up.

“Um, thanks,” Renée added. “I'm, I'm really sorry.”

“That's okay,” I said, feeling sorrier for her than me.

I hung up and tried Candace's number again, but her line was still busy. I'd have waited for her to hang up, but the longer it took me to find a friend and get ready, the less time we'd have for the rides. It was a long drive to Magic Mountain.

So I called Brianna, but her mom picked up and said Bree wasn't home. I knew Brianna hated it when her mom called her Bree, but I didn't say anything. “She's on her way to Darcy's,” Mrs. Cohen said. “Aren't you going too, dear?”

“To Darcy's?” I asked.

Brianna's mom just said, “Oh,” and hurried off the phone. A gray, wispy sort of feeling started forming in my gut, where my excitement had just been. I took the phone to my room, shut the door, and punched out Candace's number for the third time. She answered.

“Candace?” I said, feeling suddenly a little shy. “It's Maya. I wondered if you'd like to go to Magic Mountain with me today.”

“Tooo-day?”
Candace said. The wisp in my gut grew to a gray cloud. “No, Maya,” she said. “I won't be Magic Mountaineering
today.
” Then Candace made a choking laugh and blurted, “Gotta go!” and hung up—bam. That “bam” felt like a door slamming in my face.

I didn't dare call Darcy. I bet they were all going there—without me. Well, maybe Darcy forgot to invite me. No, someone would have said, “Aren't you coming to Darcy's?” The gray cloud slithered up my chest. Higher, to my throat, choking me.

But couldn't it be a coincidence that everyone was busy? Brianna's mom just thought I'd be going to Darcy's because we all hang around so much together, right? Wrong.

What had I done?

Had the girls been acting strange toward me? Did anyone act weird yesterday at school? I thought back. All I could remember was that Candace took one look at my new gray sweater with the loose lacy weave and said, “What corpse did you steal
that
from?”

I'd laughed. I'm not sensitive about stuff like clothes and Candace was right, it did look cobwebby! I knew that from then on I'd always see my new sweater as a shroud on a mummy. Candace had that effect on me. When I'd been so thrilled bringing a persimmon from my own tree to school, Candace had shuddered, saying the inside was the texture of snot. “Sweet red snot,” she'd said. Instantly, that was
exactly
what it felt and tasted like. I'd gagged and spit it out.

I glanced at the mirror and caught myself chewing on my nails. None of the other girls bit their nails. Candace and Darcy collected nail polishes. Between them, they had every color under the sun.

How long had they been planning to leave me out of whatever it was they were doing today? The grayness curled around my head, squeezing.

Had anything happened in the lunchroom Friday? We'd all sat together as usual at our table by the window, and I couldn't remember anything odd. Unless it was when I'd said we should start a baby-sitters club, like in the books. I'd thought it was a good idea and I knew we could make a ton of money in the neighborhood, but Candace and Darcy had stared at me as if I'd grown fangs. Then they looked at each other and burst out laughing.

I'd said, “What's so funny?” but they were laughing too hard to answer me. I'd looked at Renée. She shrugged. “What's so funny?” I asked again, but that made Candace and Darcy laugh even harder. Brianna smiled along with them. Then the bell rang.

On the way out of the cafeteria Renée said to me, “You know, um. Candace watches her brother and sisters a lot. Maybe she, maybe she thinks that's enough baby-sitting?”

Lena burst through my door.

“I told you to KNOCK!” I said.

“Sorr-rry.
Daddy said we're leaving in fifteen minutes. Why are you
still
in your nightgown?”

I imagined myself at Magic Mountain with Salt and Pepper shrieking in my ear on the rides, begging my dad for cotton candy and churros, giggling constantly. I liked them, but without a friend there for
me
. . .

“I'm not going,” I said.

“Huh?”

“Magic Mountain is stupid,” I said. “It's for babies.”

“Is not.”

“Is too.”

Lena ran from my room yelling, “Daddy, Maya doesn't wanna go!”

What was I going to tell him? It was a very big deal that my dad was willing to take us and spend that kind of money. We all knew that living in this neighborhood, renting this house, meant no extra money for stuff like day trips and treats. We hadn't been anywhere in ages. I couldn't stay home because Momma had just gotten a job as an interpreter at the hospital, and she'd be gone all day. Other girls were allowed to stay home alone, but not me.

My dad appeared at my door. “What's the matter?” he asked, already sounding annoyed.

“I just don't want to go,” I said.

“Ten minutes ago you were thrilled,” he said. “Weren't you the girl who jumped up and down cheering?”

I said, “Sorry.”

“Did you get a better offer?”

“No.”

My sister peeked around my door. “Well,” Dad sighed. “Momma's gone to work and I'm taking Salt and Pepper. You want me to drop you at a friend's house or something?”

That's when tears filled my eyes. I suddenly had no friends. I tried to think of someone I could call. Someone from outside the group, some friend from before. But it had been so long, and I guess I'd dropped everyone else when Candace and her crowd had come along. Not dropped in a
mean
way, not with a BAM. I'd just sort of drifted away, faded out. If I called one of those girls now, I'd have to say
something
about why I hadn't called them in so long. Worse, they'd instantly know I'd been dumped. They'd hear the echo of Candace's “BAM!”

Maybe I should just show up at Darcy's, just walk in casual and cool and say, “Hey! What's up?” But I knew I couldn't do that. Most likely, I'd creep in all cowardly, cringing and speechless, like a dope. Worse, I'd whimper, blubber like a baby, beg.

“I'll be ready in a second,” I said, not looking my dad in the eye. “I've just got to get dressed.”

He nodded and left, closing my door behind him.

I
KNOCKED ON THE bathroom door. “Mom?”

“Come on in,” she said. I didn't want to come in. I wanted her to come out. She'd been in there all morning.

“Are you going to drive me to Darcy's?” I asked through the closed door. Actually, I must have said something like, “Are you um, um, going to um, drive me to um, Darcy's,” because Mom said, “Try it without the ums please, Renée.”

So I
carefully
repeated, “Are - you - going - to - drive - me - to - Darcy's - house?”

Satisfied this time, Mom answered, “Can't you walk?”

“I told you,” I said. “I've gotta take my sleeping bag and stuff.”

“Give me a second,” she said. My heart sank when I heard her bathwater swoosh. It wouldn't be a second. She was still in the tub and hadn't even started her hair/makeup ritual. No ancient tribe took longer to prepare for their sacred ceremonies than Mom took to prepare for her day. My friends thought I was a slowpoke, but I was lightning compared with her.

Forty-five minutes later we were in the car. Mom was saying that my dad would pick me up from Darcy's tomorrow, then she'd get me from his apartment Sunday night. She wanted me to be ready to leave. She did not want to wait around his apartment for me. I already knew that.

“Darcy didn't invite Maya,” I said, interrupting her.

“Well, Darcy is certainly free to invite whomsoever she pleases to her parties,” my mom said.

“Everyone is invited but Maya.”

“Everyone
,
”
Mom scoffed. “The entire seventh grade?”

“And Maya called me this morning to ask if I wanted to go to Magic Mountain with her.”

“That was nice.”

“Well, it made me feel . . .”

“Squirmy?” Mom said, finishing my sentence. I was going to say guilty, but squirmy was close enough, so I nodded.