The Girls from See Saw Lane (14 page)

T
hat was
the year that we all turned eighteen. Mary's birthday was in February and mine was in June, and Ralph and Elton's birthdays were so close together in March that they decided to have a joint party. They hired the Co-op hall where Rita had had her reception. The party was booked for the last Saturday in March. A long cold winter was beginning to soften and turn into spring, and there was a sense of anticipation in the air. It wasn't just the primroses opening their little yellow faces in the park, or the birds singing in the garden, or the warmth in the air when we walked along the seafront. It was more than that. It was a feeling that we were all on the cusp of something: that something was about to happen, that our adult lives were about to start.

Mary and I were both looking forward to the party, but Mary especially.

‘I know, I just know, things are going to change between Elton and me,' she said one evening when we were up in her bedroom.

I had to admit that things
were
better between them, but it was still pretty up and down.

‘Oh yeah?'

‘Yeah!'

She was standing, looking through the clothes that hung from hangers hooked over the picture rail. She turned and grinned at me.

‘I'm going to make sure I look the best I've ever looked at this party. I'm going to make all the boys want me, and when Elton sees that I'm the best girl there
by miles,
he'll fall completely and madly in love with me'

‘Okay,' I said, trying not to feel hurt that Mary clearly thought she was going to look miles better than me too.

‘I'm going to need something new to wear,' she said, ‘something classy. Something… tight-fitting and glamorous. Like a film star would wear.'

‘We could go shopping on Saturday,' I said. ‘The new season's fashions are coming into the shops. There are some lovely things around.' I picked up a magazine and started to flick through the fashion pages.

‘And I need to get Elton a really special present, something that will show him that I understand him, that I know what he really wants. What do you think I should get him?'

‘I haven't got a clue,' I said.

‘What are you getting Ralph?'

‘Nothing much,' I mumbled.

‘Go on. Tell me.'

I stared hard at the pages of the magazine. ‘I've bought him a watch.'

‘A watch! Wow!' Mary made her eyes big and round and bounced down onto the bed. I felt a bit embarrassed now. I'd been so pleased with the present. It had cost me a week's wages, but I knew Ralph would love it. Now I was worried that Mary would decide to buy Elton a watch too, and if she did, then Ralph would think we'd just teamed up as a pair to go shopping and that I hadn't put any thought into the present. And I had put thought into it, lots of thought. ‘What sort of things does Elton like?' I asked quickly to take Mary's attention away from the watch.

She chewed on her nail.

‘The only thing he's really interested in is music.'

‘And women,' I said, grinning.

Mary pushed me back onto the bed.

‘Not any more,' she said, batting her eyelashes at me, ‘from now on I'm going to be the only girl in Elton Briggs's life. I'm going to make sure of it. You just watch me, Dottie!'

I picked up Mary's old battered teddy bear, it had seen better days and one of its eyes was missing. I turned it over in my hands but Mary snatched it off me and threw it into the corner of the room.

‘So what am I going to buy Elton for his birthday?' she asked again.

‘What about a record?'

‘Too ordinary.'

‘Let's go into town then, something might catch your eye.'

We had a lovely day trailing round the fashion shops in Brighton. In the last year a number of small boutiques had sprung up in the town. They were noisy and colourful and were named after their owners, who were called exotic names like Zita and Marlene. The shops stocked the same clothes that were in the London stores. They were expensive, but they were amazing and they were fun, not like the dull department stores where our mothers bought the clothes they didn't make themselves.

Mary and I tried on miniskirts and maxi dresses. We draped ourselves in feathers and furs, we danced around in thigh-high boots and shimmied in front of the mirrors in spangly, geometric dresses in oranges and purples and greens. We posed and pouted and put on hats and laughed at one another until our stomachs hurt. In the end Mary brought an amazing yellow and black tunic dress. It was very short and sleeveless with a cute little collar and three big, shiny black buttons at the back. I didn't buy anything. I'd spent all my money on Ralph's watch, not that I minded.

Mary bought a pendant for Elton. It was a silver-plated plectrum on a black piece of cord. Mary said it was perfect and I thought so too. It was kind of cool. After that we called into Woolworths to get some eye shadow to match Mary's dress and we saw Sally.

Mary showed her the dress and Sally was suitably impressed.

‘That'll be perfect for Paris,' she said.

Mary looked at me and then back to Sally.

‘Paris?'

Sally nodded. ‘Yep. The management team has decided they're sending us all to Paris in the summer as a “thank you” for all the hard work we've put in over the last twelve months.'

‘What, Paris France? French Paris?' Mary asked. ‘French Paris where Montmartre is?'

Sally laughed. ‘Yes, that's the one!'

‘Oh my goodness!' Mary's eyes were wide and bright.

‘But how come?' I asked. ‘Normally we just go out for a meal.' Actually the previous summer we'd gone and played bingo. It had been really good fun and Mary had won half a crown. The Mecca hall seemed a long way from Paris.

‘Our store made more profit than any other in England last year,' Sally said. ‘This is our reward. We're going to go on a coach and stay in a proper hotel. We'll need money for extras, but that's all. There's a brochure in the staff room.'

Mary was beyond excited ‘Can we have a look now?' she said.

‘Of course you can.'

Mary and I ran to the back of the store and through the door that led up the back stairs to the staffroom. We poured ourselves a cup of tea from the urn, sat at a table and pored over the brochure. It was full of beautiful pictures of Paris, which it described as ‘
the most romantic city in the world'.

‘Imagine that!' said Mary. ‘The most romantic city in the world. This is probably going to be the single most exciting thing ever to happen to us in our
whole lives!
Apart from Elton and Ralph's party of course.' She turned over a page in the brochure. There was a picture of Montmartre. It was a big, white church on the very top of a hill and all around it were little cafes and bars and squares where artists painted and singers sang and dancers danced. ‘Look at that! That's where I'm going to be one day,' Mary said. ‘I'm going to be one of those artists painting at one of those easels. That's going to be my life!'

Mary sat back in her chair and closed her eyes.

‘I can hardly believe it,' she said. ‘I told you we were at the beginning of our lives and this just proves it. We're going to go abroad, Dottie, abroad, overseas, to a different country! To the
one single place I've always wanted to go to my whole life!
Isn't it the most exciting thing
ever?
I can hardly wait for us to get on that coach and drive out of Brighton. I wonder if we're allowed to take guests. Do you think we will be? I could take Elton and you could take Ralph. Can you imagine that? We can climb the Eiffel Tower! You can borrow your brother's camera and take pictures of me and I'll take pictures of you and…'

I loved seeing Mary so happy.

She studied the map on the back page of the brochure.

‘This is where we will be going,' she said, tracing the journey with her finger. ‘Coach to Newhaven then across the English Channel to Dieppe and then it will be Paris here we come! Ooh la la!'

She closed her eyes and I knew what she was thinking. She was imagining herself in her new dress, dancing through the streets of Paris with Elton at her side. She was thinking of her future, a future that would involve lots of travelling, lots of cities, lots of excitement and adventure.

In the staffroom at Woollies that afternoon, I looked at my friend's blissfully happy face and felt something I had never felt before. I realised that we wanted different things. I had always been happy to go along with whatever Mary wanted. When we were little, we'd fitted nicely into our separate roles. She had always been the feisty girl who made up the exciting games, I was proud to be her friend and to do whatever it was she wanted me to do. I never had to use my imagination because I was always swept up in Mary's. I'd never wanted to do anything other than what Mary wanted, because she was everything to me.

And now, now things were changing.

I was excited about Paris too, of course I was, although I'd never particularly wanted to go abroad. I didn't see the point when I had everything I wanted here, at home. I would go to Paris with Mary and we would have a wonderful time, but Mary's dreams were no longer my dreams because she was no longer everything to me. Now, I had a dream of my own to follow.

T
wo days
before Ralph and Elton's party, I got ill. It started with a cold and then it went on to my chest and I was struggling to breathe. I hadn't had an asthma attack for months and Mum was so worried she sent for the doctor.

‘Will she need to go into hospital, Doctor?'

I knew she was worried sick because she was twisting her pinny round and round her hand. ‘It's only a cold, Mum,' I said.

‘Is it, Doctor? Is it just a cold?'

‘You know that Dorothy always has to be aware that a cold can very often lead to an asthma attack, but if she stays in bed and rests she should be okay. I will call in again after evening surgery. If she gets worse and you are worried, then call an ambulance, but as I said she should be okay if she rests.'

‘Well you won't be going to this party, Dottie,' said Mum, plumping up my pillows. I felt like crying. I had been so looking forward to it, but I knew she was right – I was going nowhere.

Mary came round in the afternoon. She sat on the end of my bed. I stared at her blearily through my runny eyes.

‘You poor thing,' she said.

‘I feel like a poor thing.'

‘Will you really not be well enough to go?'

‘Doctor's orders,' I said. ‘So as far as my Mum's concerned, it's set in concrete.'

‘Ralph's going to be gutted.'

‘I know he is. I feel really bad about it.'

‘It won't be the same without you.'

‘You'll be fine,' I said. ‘You'll be with Elton anyway.'

‘Yes, but his band's going to be performing. I expect he'll be on the stage most of the time.'

‘Well, you and Ralph will just have to look after each other, won't you?'

‘I suppose so,' she said, making a face.

‘Stop making me feel guilty, Mary Pickles,' I said croakily, although really I felt too ill to feel guilty.

‘Sorry,' she said. ‘Here, I've bought you something.'

She rummaged in a carrier bag and plonked a
Jackie
magazine down on the bed.

‘Thanks,' I said.

Mary stood up and went across to the window; she seemed to be lost in thought. ‘I've got a bad feeling about this party,' she said, suddenly turning round.

‘Why? I thought you had a good feeling about it.'

‘I did. But I haven't heard from Elton all week.'

‘I shouldn't worry about that. He's probably busy planning it all. Ralph's been pretty tied up with the arrangements too.'

‘Really?'

‘Of course. Why? Do you think it's something else? Has something actually happened?'

‘Elton never asked me to help. I'd have loved to help him get everything ready.'

‘But you've been at work.'

‘I know. But knowing Elton, the silence could be anything. It might be his way of saying he doesn't want to go out with me anymore.'

‘Wouldn't he just tell you if he didn't want to go out with you anymore?' ‘He's not that brave. I usually find out by accident, when I see him with another girl.'

It was still beyond me why Mary put up with him. He kept hurting her and she kept going back for more.

‘I know what you're thinking,' she said.

‘I just hate seeing you get hurt all the time,' I said gently.

Mary came back to the bed and sat down.

‘I'm a mess where he's concerned. Sometimes I wish he was more like Ralph.'

‘Ginger hair and all?' I said.

‘Perhaps not the ginger hair,' she said, smiling, ‘but you know where you are with Ralph.'

I knew what she meant. Ralph would never do that to me. I trusted him completely. I was lucky.

Mary picked up the magazine. ‘How to get the boy of your dreams,' she read out loud. ‘It should be me reading this, not you.'

‘You could be worrying for nothing. Wait till he sees you in your new dress – you'll bowl him over.'

Mary was still looking pretty down. I propped myself up on my elbows and blew my nose. Then I said: ‘At least you're
going
to the party. I'm going to be lying here thinking about you every moment and wondering what you're doing and thinking about how much fun you're having. I want to hear every single detail, so come round early tomorrow and tell me.'

Mary nodded. She looked at her watch. ‘I should go; Winston's girlfriend is coming over to do my hair.'

‘Just enjoy yourself.'

Mary looked back at me as she was going out the door and pulled a face.

‘Go on,' I said. ‘Have fun. Once Brainless start playing you won't even notice I'm not there.'

Ralph came round on his way to the party. He was wearing blue jeans and a purple shirt with a black stripe running through it. I thought he looked very handsome.

‘I 'm so sorry you're going to miss the party,' he said, sitting on the bed and reaching for my hand.

‘Don't,' I said, ‘it's all hot and clammy.'

‘I'm partial to hot and clammy,' he said, grinning.

I leaned over the bed and took a package out of the cabinet.

‘Happy birthday,' I said, smiling at him.

He held the present in his hands and started feeling it and turning it over. ‘Can I rattle it?' he said.

‘No you flippin' can't, just open it. Go on, tear off the paper.'

I wish I'd had a camera to capture the look on his face when he opened the present, because he was beaming. ‘Wow,' he said, looking at the watch. ‘It's great, thank you.'

‘I'm glad you like it,' I said.

‘I love it.'

‘Good.'

‘I just wish you were coming to the party.'

‘Don't
you
start.'

‘Why? Who else has started?'

‘Mary.'

‘So you want me to keep an eye on her?'

‘Yes please,' I said, yawning.

‘For you, anything. Now get some rest and get well. I'll call by tomorrow and tell you all about it.'

After he'd gone, I snuggled down beneath the covers. My head felt muzzy and I was hot and uncomfortable and achy. I must have fallen asleep because when I woke, it was dark outside. Nobody had come in to draw the curtains and all I could see was the blackness through the windows. I was cold now, cold and shivery. I pulled the blankets up to my chin, but they didn't help. I felt as if my blood had turned to ice. I felt as if something dreadful was on the other side of the window glass. I felt full of dread.

The next day I was feeling a bit better but not great, I was coughing for England and was still headachy and feverish. I was bored with being in bed. I'd read the
Jackie
magazine from cover to cover and when I did fall asleep I had this vivid dream of Mary's dad on stage with Brainless, dressed as Elvis Presley.

I'd been waiting all day for Ralph and Mary to come round and tell me all about the party. It wasn't until teatime that Ralph put his head round the bedroom door.

‘How's the invalid?' he said.

‘Bored,' I said, making a face. ‘Where have you been all day? And where's Mary?'

Ralph sat down on the bed and held my hand. He seemed to have trouble looking at me.

‘Well?' I said.

‘I had a hangover,' he mumbled. ‘I've only just got up.'

‘Ralph Bennett!' I said, giggling, which started me coughing. Ralph handed me the glass of water that was beside my bed. ‘I didn't think you drank much.'

‘I don't, usually,' he said, looking sheepish.

‘Is that why Mary hasn't come round? Did she get drunk as well?'

‘Worse than me,' he said, ‘I had to walk her home. Her dad was waiting up for her; he wasn't very happy about it.'

‘Well tell me about it then. Was it a great party? Were there lots of people there? Did you enjoy it? Did Mary enjoy it?'

‘I can't remember a lot.'

‘Ralph Bennett,' I said, pulling myself up the bed, ‘I've been waiting all day to hear about this party and you're telling me that you don't remember much about it?'

‘I don't think Mary had a very good time. I remember that much.'

‘Mary was right then, she said she had a bad feeling about the party.'

‘Elton was flirting a bit, the way he does.'

I was feeling bad for my friend. ‘I don't know why you go round with Elton Briggs,' I said sharply.

‘Because he's my friend,' Ralph snapped back. ‘And your friend Mary's no angel.'

I was a bit taken back. I'd moaned about Elton over the years but I'd never heard Ralph say a bad thing about Mary, or anyone else for that matter. Suddenly things felt awkward between us. I didn't know how to make it better.

‘Look,' Ralph said eventually. ‘We shouldn't be arguing about Elton and Mary; they're old enough to figure things out for themselves. We've got each other and that should be all that counts. I love you, Dottie, but I can't keep apologising for the way
my
friend treats
your
friend.'

‘You're right,' I said, ‘I'm sorry.'

‘So am I,' said Ralph. ‘Now give me a cuddle.'

‘But I've got a red nose.'

‘Didn't I mention that red's my favourite colour?'