The Glass Lake (86 page)

He talked about things that could cause no friction. He asked her nothing about where she had come from or why she was here. Instead he told her about planes and how he'd love to fly one. It must be great to soar up there and swoop and have miles of sky at your disposal, not just a straight road.

He had never been on a plane, as it turned out. “Real country hick, Lena,” he said with a grin. It was hard to believe that the son of dreary Kathleen Sullivan and her insane, drunken husband could turn out like this. Handsome and confident, but not pushy.

Her fingers tightened on her handbag. She knew that her daughter had lost her soul to this man. Nothing she could say in terms of warning would do any good. All she could do now was hope and pray.

He was as good as his word about circling around. He said his good-byes as he dropped her off. “Come back and see us sometime,” he said, all warmth and invitation.

Lena responded in the same way. “Or you two come over and see me. At least it would get you on a plane.”

Kit looked at her in delight. Stevie had been accepted. She could see that. Lena really did like him. She was overjoyed. As soon as he was out of hearing she clutched Lena's arm. “I knew you'd like him,” she said excitedly.

“Of course I do. Who wouldn't like him?” Lena said.

She got out her wallet and paid for her ticket. She must have bought no return flight. What had she intended to do in Ireland, or had she not thought at all? She looked perfectly well now.

Kit walked to the departure gate with her.

“Soon, very soon, you'll come?” Lena's eyes looked deep into hers.

“Yes, as soon as you're settled in again. Of course I'll come.”

“Thank you, Kit. Thank you for everything.”

Kit didn't know what she was being thanked for. She had no idea what she had prevented. She was too choked to say good-bye so she just clung on to Lena for a long time and then ran back to the exit.

In the car she blew her nose loudly. “Now, that's better,” Stevie said approvingly, as if he were talking to a toddler.

“It was very kind of you to drive her out.”

“Nonsense.”

“And thanks too for not asking and everything. Sometime I'll tell you, but it's too complicated.”

“Sure. Would you like to go up the mountains?”

“Where?”

“You know, out in the Wicklow mountains. We could just go where you'd see no houses or people or anything, sort of empty your mind a bit.”

“That would be lovely.”

They sat companionably, saying nothing but feeling no need of chat until they were beyond Glendalough, up in the Wicklow Gap. Then they parked the car and walked in the cold, clear air past the gorse bushes and over the springy turf and rocky crags.

Stevie was right, it was as if the whole population had left. There was nothing to look at except what had been there when the earth began, trees and mountains and a river.

Kit felt her mind emptying. She took deep, long breaths. They sat on a great big rock like a shelf and looked down at the valley below.

“It's a very long story,” she began.

“She's your mother,” Stevie said.

I
VY
was overjoyed to see her.

“Come upstairs at once and see your new wallpaper,” she said.

The room looked totally different. Pink and white stripes from ceiling down to floor. A little stool at the dressing table covered with matching material. The position of the bed had been changed slightly and there was a pink eiderdown with a trim of the striped fabric.

“It's beautiful, it's utterly gorgeous,” Lena cried.

She could see the hours of time and work invested in this by Ivy. She could never thank her. But she knew that for Ivy to see her well again was reward enough.

“At least it's different,” Ivy said gruffly.

“It's very different. It doesn't look like the same place.”

“That's what I hoped.” Ivy was grim.

“No, it's all right. I'm fine now, I promise.”

“What were you doing in Ireland, then?” Ivy wanted to know.

“I just went and saw it happen, saw with my own eyes that he married someone else. Now it's over.”

“You went to the wedding?”

“Just in the church, not as a guest…” She laughed lightly.

“You amaze me,” Ivy said.

“And do you want to talk about it or about him, or is it better if we don't?”

“I think it's better not. That way I get on with my life.”

Ivy seemed pleased. “I'm sure that's the right way,” she said. “Now, I suppose this means you might be able to eat again. Because I've got some steaks for the three of us.”

“A big rare steak…that's exactly what I was hoping you'd have,” Lena said.

Ivy trotted happily downstairs to tell Ernest that Lena was cured.

“Ah, women get over these things,” he said with the air of a man who understood the world.

Lena stood alone in the room where she had lived with Louis. She would speak of him no more, she would talk of him to nobody. But most of all she would think about him as little as was humanly possible.

She had seen him marry another woman. He had gone from her life. She was glad she had seen that, and been to the wedding. It finalized everything somehow.

It was a bit of a blur how she had got there and what she had intended to do. But that didn't matter, she had been and seen it. She had been so close to Kit and seen how she loved Stevie. Once this had frightened her. But now she felt there was no point in trying to fight it. It was just inevitable.

         

At work they were so pleased to see Mrs. Gray back. There had been a few problems, naturally they hadn't wanted to interrupt her on her sick leave, but it was great to see her back.

“The Christmas party wasn't the same without you,” they said.

“The Christmas party!” How long ago that seemed now. She had forgotten she hadn't been there. “Oh, I'm sure you managed,” she said.

“Not all that well. There was no spirit in it somehow…Did you have a nice Christmas or were you still poorly?”

“I was still poorly, but thank heavens I'm better now.” Her smile was bright, her air was busy and let's-get-down-to-work. “I'll be having a meeting tomorrow, when I've caught up with everything. I am so sorry for leaving you all in the lurch but these things happen…so I'll want you to let me know by the end of today any areas in your control where you feel any anxiety.”

Millar's gave a collective sigh of relief. Mrs. Gray was back, all was well.

         

“James?”

“Is that you, Lena?”

“Yes, I was wondering if you were free for lunch any day?”

“Any day is exactly when I'm free. Today, tomorrow, every day in the year.”

“Very gallant indeed, James. Could we say tomorrow, same place as last time, one o'clock?”

“I'm looking forward to it very much,” he said.

         

Lena went through the papers, she saw where opportunities had been missed, contracts lost, unsuitable people given too much time. The normal monthly search through papers and publications trawling for possibilities had been poorly done. Even the office did not look quite as smart as usual. They were only small things but she noticed them.

There were wastepaper baskets not fully emptied, rings from cups left on desks, calendars not changed, flower water left to gather a little scum on it. She would have to be very diplomatic about all these things, make it appear that the staff had noticed them rather than she herself.

And also, she must smarten herself up as well as the office. She went to the salon after work. There were no questions from Grace West. But she was owed an explanation.

“He married a young girl who was pregnant. Her brothers are friends of my daughter. That's what Louis did next,” she said.

“Married? He got a quick divorce, didn't he?” Grace said.

“No need, not an official marriage between us.”

“I'm glad you have a daughter,” Grace said simply.

         

James Williams was waiting at the table.

“You look so well,” he said.

“I feel well now,” she said.

“And I was so worried about you, I tried to get in touch.”

“I know,” she said.

“But why didn't you return any of my calls?”

“I wasn't well then, but I am now. So here we are.” Her face was bright and cheerful.

“A glass of wine?” he suggested.

“Yes, I need it.”

“I fired Louis,” he said. “Did you know?”

“No, I didn't know that. I thought he stayed there until last week.”

“No, I couldn't bear to look at him after what he did to you.”

She was perfectly composed and calm. “I don't know what I should say, I suppose I should thank you because you did it on my behalf…but the reason I asked you to lunch was to tell you that Louis has gone now out of my life. I won't be talking about him, thinking about him, or referring back anymore…”

“Good,” he said approvingly.

“Yes, I went four days ago…that's all it was, and watched him get married. It's all gone now.”

“It won't last, you know. He'll cheat on her too.”

“You mean very well, James. But it's no consolation or help to me to know how well rid of him I am. These things only come from within.”

“I think you're perfectly right,” he said. “His name will not be spoken between us again, but…”

“Yes?”

“I hope we'll be able to speak of other things like perhaps your coming to the theatre with me, or to see an art exhibition or just to go out anywhere.”

She looked at him thoughtfully. “From time to time I would love to go out with you as any friend, but that would be it. I don't want to anticipate anything on your part but I've learned that it's better to, should there be any misunderstandings…”

“Indeed,” he murmured.

“I mean it, James. I've had two marriages as I call them, two long relationships. I haven't an intention in the world of getting involved again.”

“I quite understand…”

“Not even a casual involvement. So if you'd like to be my friend we could buy each other the occasional lunch…”

“And dinner?” he said.

“And theatre ticket.” She entered into the spirit of the thing.

“And one could always live in hope?” he said.

“But an intelligent man like you would know that to live in an unrealistic hope is a very foolish way to spend a life.” She spoke with a steely edge to her voice. As if she knew that only too well.

He raised the glass to her. “To our friendship,” he said.

         

Ivy watched her like a hawk.

Often she dropped in on her landlady. They had enlarged the room by knocking down a wall. Now Ernest sat looking at the television a distance away, shielded by a big screen.

It was a screen that Lena had found for them, in a secondhand shop, she said. In fact it was an antique. It was exactly right for the room. It also meant she could sit and talk to Ivy undisturbed.

Sometimes she had coffee, often Ivy persuaded her to take a sandwich. She was looking better, Ivy said approvingly. Her skin was firm and young again, she had put on those few pounds that made her look less anxious, less drawn. Kit's letters still came to Ivy even though there was no need. It was as if she sensed that Ivy liked being postman.

Sometimes Lena read her little extracts.

We went to see Sister Madeleine. She's exactly the same in many ways. She works in the kitchen and in the yard. She has a pigeon with a false leg that she made herself. She has a hare, a poor old hare that sleeps in a box all day and eats cornflakes. It got hit on the head running away from something apparently and doesn't know where it is
.

She was so pleased to see me. She didn't ask about you by name of course and not in front of Stevie. But she did want to know if everything was fine over in London, and I told her it was. It's as if she were always there. If I tell her about people like Tommy, people she liked, she sort of looks vaguely away as if they were people she dreamed about once
.

I wonder was she ever married. Remember I told you that tale she told Clio and myself years ago, and we kept it as such a secret? I asked Clio the other day what did she think. Clio said she'd forgotten it. I can't believe she's forgotten. It was the biggest secret we ever had when we were young. But then, Clio has her own secrets and
problems these days. This time she's almost definite that she's pregnant. And she's terrified to tell Michael
.

“Isn't it wonderful that she can tell you all these things?” Ivy marveled.

Lena agreed. No mother could talk like this to a daughter. But there was something, she wasn't sure what it was, something about Stevie, that Kit wasn't telling. But she wasn't going to worry. She would tell one day…if it was important.