Authors: Amy Sue Nathan
“How about if I take Luca over to the twins?” Peg said.
“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Nicole said.
“I am here to help, aren’t I?” Light sarcasm flitted through the air.
Nicole nodded.
“So, would that be helpful to you, Nicki?”
“Yes, Mother.”
Peg swiveled the stroller and walked quickly toward the corner of the park.
“You didn’t tell me your mother was a college professor.” Evie sat on the blanket. Nicole did the same.
“You never asked.”
Evie had not asked. Evie had assumed. “So I really don’t understand what’s been going on. You said your mother couldn’t take time off to come to the funeral.”
“She couldn’t. It was finals week.”
“You said she didn’t approve of your marriage because Richard was Jewish. Is she really that narrow-minded?”
Evie had been that narrow-minded as well. She’d lectured Lisa for the year she was engaged to what’s-his-name, saying it would never work because of their cultural differences. Three years later, Lisa and no-name divorced because they were too much alike. They were both workaholics.
Nicole stretched out her legs and crossed her feet at the ankles. She pointed her toes as if imitating ballet and then flexed. “She doesn’t approve of anything I’ve done since I got pregnant in high school. I’m not exactly a daughter she can brag about.”
Evie leaned back on her hands, stunned. Her parents would never have turned her away. She would never turn away Sam or Sophie. “I don’t know what to say.”
“It’s no secret that I haven’t lived up to her expectations. That’s why I moved away. After Peter and Lucy, she wanted me to go to college and start over. I didn’t want to do it. I had been a wife and mother; I didn’t want to be a sorority girl. I couldn’t be. So I moved to Chicago and went to cosmetology school.”
“She didn’t understand that you needed a new life?”
“Not really. She had my brother and me in her late thirties, worked two jobs, went to grad school. She always said it was for us, but she did it for herself. She was never around.” Nicole nodded and shrugged in surrender. “But now I understand why.”
“So, she was thrilled with your choice to go to beauty school—which you did for
yourself
.”
“Not half as thrilled as when I told her I was dating a man twenty years older. She figured out pretty quickly that he was married.” Nicole looked down, away from Evie. “She didn’t talk to me for months. Even on the anniversary of Peter’s and Lucy’s deaths. Or on their birthdays.” Nicole looked back at Evie with a forced smile. “I thought the fact that Richard had a Ph.D. and taught at Pinehurst would make her happy. I thought they’d have a lot in common and she would realize that I’d done okay for myself even without going to college. Then I thought when I had Luca, she’d want to be a grandma again.”
“But she didn’t, did she?”
Nicole looked right at Evie, with a gaze stronger than any Evie had seen on Nicole’s face since Richard died. “I hadn’t done any of the things she’d planned for me. And when she wanted to get back into our lives, I told her it was too late.”
“It’s never too late.”
Of course, until it is.
“Why did you tell me she didn’t like Richard because he was Jewish?”
“I didn’t want you to like her,” Nicole said.
Evie didn’t like Peg. Nor did she want to be like her. Peg had been so grief-stricken, so bitter, so cemented in the past, she had been without the capacity to let go in order to move on. Nicole had to live hundreds of miles away and become a widow the second time before her mother would accept her—flaws, faults, funky family attachments, and all. Evie would never let that happen. She would not become the next Peg Smith.
“It’s okay,” Nicole said. “We’ve been having long talks, and I think we’ve come to an understanding.”
That was probably a good idea considering Nicole was moving in with her.
“She understands that I don’t want what she wanted for me,” Nicole continued. “And I think I finally understand that it’s okay for her to wish things were different as long as she can just accept that they’re not. She doesn’t have to like it, but if she loves us, she’ll learn to deal with it.”
“So things are good between you?”
“They’re better. We even talked about Lucy.” Nicole scooted closer to Evie, almost invading her personal space.
Evie leaned away, boundaries intact.
“She was glad I got a job, that’s for sure,” Nicole said. “Unemployment is not high on her list.”
It hadn’t been high on Evie’s list either.
“I renewed my cosmetology license,” Nicole continued. “I’m going to cut hair again and manage the front desk at a really nice salon. Finding a babysitter for Luca is the only thing standing in my way.”
“Why won’t your mom help?”
“How is my mom going to help?”
“Look, I know your mom is a professor, but maybe the university has child care.”
“Why would Luca need child care in Iowa?”
“Because you’re
working
? You can’t take him to a salon, there are too many chemicals, it’s not safe, and there are so many sharp tools. It’s dangerous!”
Nicole grinned. “I’m working at Hair Expressions in
New Meadow
.”
“
Our
New Meadow?”
“Is there another New Meadow?”
Evie exhaled a breath she didn’t realize she was holding in. New Meadow, just a few miles east of Lakewood, was a post–World War II town built around the old Amtrak line that ran from Chicago to Minneapolis. The town was filled with classic bungalows, apartment complexes, and newer town-house subdivisions named after Native American tribes.
“Oh, that would be a bit of a schlep.”
They chuckled.
Evie released her public reticence, put her hand on Nicole’s arm, and left it there. “I didn’t want you to go. For Sam and Sophie.” Evie remembered she had wanted to be careful. “But if you’re not leaving, why is your mother here? What were all the suitcases in the back of your car?”
“Mom took the train. She said she’s going to start acting like a mother and a grandmother. She was on sabbatical this term and changed her plans to help me move and to spend some time with Luca. And hopefully to get to know you and the twins.”
“What made you change
your
mind about leaving?”
“My mother.”
“Your mother convinced you to stay here?”
“My dad left us with nothing. He took off and left a wife and two kids and he never turned back. I never wanted Luca to think Richard abandoned him and left him nothing. My mother pointed out that not only did I have Social Security, but Luca would never think that if I didn’t let him think that. She admitted she fueled our bad feelings about my father. I don’t blame her, but she’s right. It’s different. And she’s putting all the money she had saved for me to go to college into a fund for Luca. He’ll be okay.”
“Yes, he will,” Evie said.
“Your kids will be fine too, you know.”
“I know.” Evie’s throat softly closed and kept her voice from cracking.
“And my mom and I are going to be okay too. She’s offered to watch Luca while I find a babysitter.”
Evie’s wheels turned in a million directions, mimicking the inside of an elaborate clock. “Why wouldn’t she help you before now?”
“I didn’t ask her before now.”
It wasn’t easy to ask, Evie knew that.
“Do you think you might consider letting me see the kids sometimes? You know, with Luca?”
“Okay,” Evie said.
“Just okay?”
“Yep,
just okay
.”
Evie thought about Beth. Beth and Alan moved somewhere no one knew their story in order to start over. No one who Nicole met in New Meadow would ask if Richard was married when she’d met him. They’d know she was a widow with a baby, and they’d learn about Sam and Sophie and probably about Evie. Nicole would leave out the details that no longer impacted her life and that might affect her future.
If Nicole was lucky, one day she would have a friend whom she trusted with the truth.
When the troops arrived at her feet, Evie reached into her purse and pulled out dollar bills.
Peg shook her head and reached into her pocket and corralled the twins and Luca for an ice cream run. “Last one to the ice cream truck is a rotten egg,” Peg sang out. The twins took off running. Maybe she would figure out the mother thing
and
the stepgrandma thing.
“I’ll watch Luca,” Evie blurted. “When you go to work.” Evie spoke before thinking it through. Why not? She loved babies. More important, she loved
Luca.
“You will?” Nicole’s eyes grew wide, and Evie saw a thin ginger border around the green. She had noticed it the night Richard died, when Evie hugged Nicole and they ended up nose to nose, but without a haze of tears Nicole’s irises looked like peridot rimmed in gold.
“Well, I guess I should say, if our work schedules mesh. I need someone to watch the twins too.”
“You got the job at that college?” Nicole said.
Evie nodded. “And I’m going back to Third Coast.”
“Mazel tov.” Nicole grinned at her command of universal Yiddish. “When do you start?”
“I’m going back to work at the store after Passover. Just a few hours one or two mornings while the kids are at school. I start teaching in June, but that’s at night. Once your mother leaves, we can coordinate our schedules.”
Nicole nodded.
As if she held a flipbook, Evie scanned the future. Rickety images emerged and bled into one another. She and Nicole and the three kids together—in the park, on the bleachers, at the kitchen table, on birthdays, for holidays. Nicole would care for the twins. Evie would care for Luca. It wasn’t what Evie had planned twenty, ten, or one year ago—but the pictures in her head slowed her pulse. This was about choices. Evie had chosen to accept the job at County, and now she chose to keep Nicole in the fold. Nicole had chosen to stay near them. It could work. This time she and Nicole would choose to be on the same side of the picket fence, and to stay there.
Sam and Sophie ambled to the blanket, cones in hand, with an ice pop for Luca. Peg lowered herself to the blanket next to Nicole. Sam pulled off the white paper wrapper of the ice pop and twisted it around the stick. He hesitated, and instead of handing it to Luca, he knelt and held it at his brother’s lips. Luca licked the green Bomb Pop, smiled, licked it again, and shivered. The April sky teased them into believing it was spring, but the wind off the lake reminded them all that steady, warm breezes wouldn’t blow in until summer.
“We’re going to babysit for Luca while Nicole goes to work,” Evie said.
Sophie clapped and bunny-hopped in a circle, her smile wide and bright enough to dissolve any of Evie’s suppressed uncertainty.
Peg crossed her arms. “Do you think that’s wise?”
“Yes,” Evie and Nicole said.
“I’m just here to help,” Peg continued. “You two know best.”
“And when I start teaching this summer, Nicole will keep an eye on you guys. How’s that sound? Remember, that’s two nights a week.” She said it as much for Nicole and Peg as the kids. “So you’ll have lots of time with Luca. And Nicole. I guess we’ll have a lot of time together.”
“Like a family,” Sophie said.
“Not
like
a family, Soph. We
are
a family,” Evie said.
“Daddy would like that,” Sophie said.
Evie hadn’t added Richard into the equation, but Sophie’s emphatic tone convinced her.
Sam looked at his feet and kicked the grass once.
“You okay, Sam? You want to sit with me?” Evie patted the blanket, away from Nicole.
“No, I’m fine.” He looked up. “I just think he—Dad—would think it was weird. Good weird, but weird. None of this is normal, you know.”
Evie jumped on his words, her own tinged with defiance. “This is going to be normal for us. And that’s all that matters. Now, which one of you is going to give me a lick of ice cream?” She smacked her lips loud.
Sam and Sophie laughed and drew back the hands that held their cones. Evie hadn’t expected the twins to share their ice cream. Their lives, their hearts, their home, their mom, yes—but their Rainbow Cones? No way.
Chapter 25
T
HE GRANDFATHER CLOCK CHIMED FIVE
times and then the doorbell rang. Nicole and Peg were on time.
Evie held the front door open with her foot as Nicole, with Luca on her hip, stepped inside. Peg handed Evie a plastic-sleeved, oversize bouquet of pink, yellow, and orange gerbera daisies.
“Luca
and
flowers,” Evie said, kissing the not-quite-toddler on the head. “What a great combination.”
Nicole and Peg pulled off Luca’s jacket in tandem. Peg took Luca and stood him on the floor, holding both his hands. He raised his leg to walk, but Peg was not ready to go anywhere.
“Happy Passover,” Nicole said. “I knew we couldn’t bring food, so I hope these are appropriate.”
“I told you they were appropriate, Nicki.” Peg shook her head.
Evie grabbed Nicole’s hand on instinct and squeezed. “Thank you, they’re beautiful. I’ll put them in a vase. Do you want to introduce your mom to everyone? They’re in the living room.”
“Do I have to?” Nicole muttered.
“I heard you, Nicki. I won’t embarrass you, I promise.”
Peg and Luca baby-stepped toward the sound of voices.
“Take a deep breath,” Evie said, letting go of Nicole’s hand.
Nicole nodded and put her purse on the floor by the bench. Then, she leaned and peeked into the dining room. The lights were dim, but the crystal goblets sparkled. Bubbe’s Passover dishes—Lenox Daybreak, with its gold flowers—“popped” against the white linen tablecloth. Bubbe would have kvelled. The middle of the table was crowded with candlesticks, Elijah’s cup, a soup tureen, bottles of Manischewitz wine and Kedem grape juice, seder plates, and stacks of matzo.
“Wow,” Nicole said. “It looks beautiful.”
“Thanks. Just don’t ask me where all the kids’ art supplies are.” Evie cocked her head toward the hall closet. “Open that at your own risk.”
Nicole walked into the room. She touched the back of each chair as she circled the table, set for sixteen. Evie knew Nicole was hoping Luca would handle the grandma introductions.