The Glimpsing (19 page)

She took her wine in hand and before taking a sip, playfully chimed: “That’s keeping tabs.”

Felix nodded a touché.

Gabrielle glanced at his ring finger.
 
“You never married?”

“No.
 
Does that surprise you?”

“Yes, I guess it does.”

“Why?”

“You always struck me as the marrying type.
 
You
know,
a happily ever after kind of guy.”

Felix registered some perplexity, as if her insight surprised him.
 
“That’s very observant.
 
It pains me to be so honest, but there isn’t anything I’d like to do more than to get married.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“To live happily ever after, there has to be a happily ever after girl.
 
And they aren’t around every corner, especially these days.”
 
He looked at her suggestively.
 
“They’re a rarity.
 
Usually, you only cross paths with them once in a lifetime.”

“I see,” Gabrielle said, shyly blinking away from his gaze.

The waiter returned with Felix’s drink and placed it before him.
 
“Will there be anything else, Mr.
Nadal
?”

“No.
 
Thank you,” Felix said.

The waiter departed once more.

“What about you?” Felix asked, “No significant other?”

Jack entered her mind, but she slowly shook her head.
 
“No.”

Felix paused, leaned his head slightly to one side,
then
said: “You wouldn’t be lying to me, would you?”

“Lying to you?
 
Why would I do that?”

Felix chuckled mildly.
 
“I’m sorry.
 
I’m being very rude.
 
It’s just that… you’ll probably think this silly, but…”
 
He trailed off.

“But what?”

He smiled again.
 
“I can always tell when a woman is in love.”

Gabrielle’s lips parted in surprise.
 
“What?”

Felix seemed to take delight in her reaction.
 
He lifted his drink to his lips, sipped,
swallowed
.
 
“I know it sounds crazy, but I assure you, I can tell.”

This discomforted Gabrielle.
 
“You’re serious?”

Felix gave a polite nod.

“And how… how can you tell?”

Felix leaned forward, resting his arms against the table’s edge.
 
“Women who are in love exude a very peculiar beauty.
 
They look different.
 
Doesn’t matter if they’re happy, sad.
 
It’s just there.”
 
He paused, measuring her face.
 
“It’s all over you, Gabrielle.”

Gabrielle looked at him blankly, feeling strangely unveiled.
 
Finally, she cleared her throat, forced out a grin, and lied weakly: “Well, this time you’re wrong.”

“I hope so,” Felix replied.

That comment left Gabrielle even more off balance than his seemingly clairvoyant suspicion that she was in love.
 
She shifted in her chair.

Noticing her unease, Felix said: “I apologize… again.
 
I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.
 
It’s just a little game I play.
 
Don’t take it seriously.
 
Let’s talk about something else.”

Gabrielle offered a wincing smile.

“You said you’ve been under stress?”

“Yes.”

“What’s the cause?
 
Both the acting and the modeling taking its toll?”

“No, I don’t think so.
 
I’m not scheduled to start my next film for three months.
 
What’s happening is… well, hard to explain.”

“You want to tell me about it?”

“No.
 
Not really.”
 
Felix was about to speak, but Gabrielle interrupted.
 
“But I probably should.
 
Maybe it will help.”

“I’m listening.”

“I, um… this is going to sound ridiculous.”

“Well, I’ve already said something ridiculous tonight.
 
I could use the company.”

Gabrielle smiled broadly.
 
She then looked down and sighed.
 
“It’s just that I feel like something is wrong, like something very bad is about to happen.”

Felix suddenly showed concern.
“To you?”

“I can’t tell.
 
There’s this dark feeling that comes over me.
 
It’s overwhelming at times.”

“Dark feeling?”

“Yes.
 
It’s almost like a panic attack.
 
It kind of comes and goes.
 
But it never completely fades.
 
It’s always there, like background noise.”
 
She sighed again.

“When did it start?”

Gabrielle pursed her lips and slowly shook her head.
 
“I don’t know.
 
Maybe a few days ago.
I almost feel like I’m being cursed.”

“Cursed?
 
You mean by God?”

“No.
 
At least, I don’t think so.”
 
She glanced upward at the man on the hill.
 
“It’s something else.
 
It feels… evil.”

“Have you done something?”

“Done something?”

“To make you feel this way?”

Gabrielle’s head fell to her lap.
 
She sighed.
 
“Yes.
 
I have.”

“And what is that?”

She shook her head, still not looking up.
 
“It’s not important.
 
Whatever is going to happen, it’s probably deserved.”

“No, it’s not,” Felix said, almost angrily.
 
Gabrielle’s eyes shot up from her lap.
 
“You’re a good girl, Gabrielle.
 
You don’t deserve for anything bad to happen to you.”

“Felix I—” she began to protest, but he cut her off.

“I want you to listen to me very closely.
 
Now, I don’t know what you’ve done or to whom you’ve done it to, but I do know this: you are a good person.
 
One bad act, no matter what that is, won’t ever erase that.”

A smile started on Gabrielle’s face, but it never completed.
 
Again she dropped her head away.
 
Felix reached across, however, and nudged her chin up.

“I want you to know something else,” he said, meeting her eyes with his own.
 
But then he blinked off and leaned back, measuring, with apparent consternation, what he was about to say next.
 
Finally, he sighed,
then
spoke.
 
“You don’t know this, Gabrielle, but the reason you’re here in Rio is because of me.”

“What?”

“I told Paul Alderman you’d be the best person for his magazine cover.
 
He contacted Jack Parke and… well, here you are.”

Gabrielle frowned, bewildered.
 
“Why would you do something like that?”

“Because I thought you were the most beautiful and fastest rising talent out there. But that wasn’t the only reason.
 
I wanted to see you again.
 
I had to tell you something.”

Gabrielle could feel her heart quickening, for what reason she wasn’t exactly sure.
 
“What is it, Felix?”

“I wanted to tell you… that I made a mistake.”

“A mistake?”

“Yes.
 
I never should have let you out of my life.
 
I shouldn’t have let our ambitions, my ambitions, stand in the way of what we had together.”

Gabrielle was dumbfounded.

“I should have left London myself, moved to the States,
sacrificed
it all, to be with you.”

“I disagree.
 
I think you were right.
 
If we would have tried to make it work, neither one of us would have fulfilled our dreams.”

Felix paused, gazing at her softly.
 
“But what good is having a dream if I don’t have you to share it with?”

Gabrielle blinked at him, both confused and concerned.
 
“That’s what you wanted to tell me?
 
That’s why you brought me here?”

“No.
 
That’s not why I brought you here.”

“Then why?”

For the first time, Felix’s air of confidence seemed to break apart and separate, revealing the vulnerable man inside.
 
“I brought you here… because I’m in love with you, Gabrielle.
 
Still in love with you.
 
I’ve never stopped.”

Gabrielle swallowed, looking on in stunned amazement.
 
Chills of emotion streamed over her back.

Felix continued, “I feel like this night holds special significance, Gabrielle.
 
Normally, I’m in bed pretty early, but tonight I couldn’t sleep.
 
I felt like I should leave and take a walk, and so that’s what I did.
 
Six blocks from my hotel I decided to turn into this place… and that’s when I saw you.
 
I was in disbelief.
 
It’s very late and this is a big city.
 
What are the chances?
 
But there you were: a miracle in my eyes.
 
It’s a sign, Gabrielle.
 
We were brought here tonight for a reason.”

“But for what reason?” Gabrielle asked breathlessly.

“I’m not sure.
 
Maybe it’s happening so I can help you with whatever has been tormenting you.
 
Maybe it’s much more than that.
 
I can only hope so.
 
But whatever it is, none of this is an accident.”

Felix then did something very peculiar.
 
He extended his hand onto the table, and opened it in her direction.

Gabrielle gazed it anxiously, realizing it held some special significance but was uncertain what that something was.
 
“What are you asking, Felix?”

“I’m asking you to think about what we once had, how happy we were in each other’s arms, how whole we felt.
 
I’m asking you if you’d trade that feeling for anything in this world, past or present.
 
And if you wouldn’t, then I’m asking you to take my hand and give us a second chance.”

Gabrielle sat there stunned, suddenly aware of the sound of her own breathing.
 
The power of the moment was paralyzing.
 
She felt as if the simple decision to take Felix’s hand or leave it lying there on the table represented some great crossroad in her life.
 
Was he really a godsend, she wondered?
Had God actually answered a prayer that she had been too ashamed to even utter?
 
Was he actually the way out of a situation that had grown too much for her to bear?
 
She could not help but cast her eyes back to the man on the hill, to the outstretched form of the Christ on
Corcodova
Hill.
 
Was this all His doing?

Slowly, Gabrielle raised her right hand and slid it along the table.
 
She touched Felix’s fingers, and then delicately laid her hand in his, grasping it lightly.