The Good Life (12 page)

Perry went to his room and hung up his clothes with meticulous care. He was going to have to start drinking less if Billy would give him the chance.

He gathered his small cache of gold together and put it in a drawer. He took a sobering shower and put on one of the new Brooks Brothers dressing gowns and went across to Billy's bedroom.

Billy was in his pajamas and dressing gown and was taking a sip from a full glass as Perry entered. “Here, my adorable boy. I have it ready for you,” he said, handing Perry a glass.

Billy went to the bed and lifted his legs onto it and sat propped up against the pillows, leaving plenty of room beside him. “Come talk to me while we're having these. I'd love to go on sleeping with you, but I often get restless during the night, and it would keep me awake worrying about disturbing you. I think we'll be more comfortable in separate beds.”

Perry sat on the side of the bed within easy reach of him. “Whatever you prefer, Billy,” he said. “I'd love to sleep with you if you'd like me to.”

“I probably often will.” He seemed to have mastered his speech again. He lifted a hand and opened Perry's dressing gown and stroked his chest. “So many men tonight would have given anything to have you with them like this. I watched them staring at you as if they wanted to devour you alive.”

Perry laughed. “Except for that ass at Tony's, I'll bet you just imagined it.”

“No fear. You're wonderfully levelheaded about it. I've watched so many boys get swept off their feet, wearing themselves out in a season. They get the reputation of being easy to have, and soon nobody wants them anymore. I don't think that will happen to you.”

“How could it if I'm with you?”

Billy unfastened the tie of Perry's dressing gown and pushed the folds of material aside. Perry parted his legs. Billy's hand moved down over his abdomen. Perry's cock stirred at its approach. He was increasingly aware that it was his exhibitionistic urge to display himself that made it so easy to get a hard-on. Since nobody knew, it must look very flattering.

Billy lifted Perry's cock and watched it hardening and lengthening. Perry took a swallow of his drink. Drink made him feel sexy too. Billy began to stroke his cock as it filled out and acquired its full dimensions.

“I want to watch you suck me off, Billy,” he said.

“You know my tastes,” Billy said, then smiled stiffly. “Although you've been pretty clever at making me forget them.”

“My cock is better than a whip. It's
me
. I'm a strong young guy. I can hurt you without a whip if I feel like it.” He took a long swallow of his drink, then put it down and stood, dropping his dressing gown.

“Look at me, Billy. I'm the guy everybody wanted tonight. You've got me. You'd better get used to giving me what
I
want. I don't mean cigarette cases. You can't buy me. You can love me if you learn how. I want you to suck my cock when I tell you to. I want you to beg me for it. I want to see it in your mouth while you make love to it. You worship it. You worship it when it gets hard. A hard young cock you can't buy: big and hard and dangerous.”

He was drunk, but he knew Billy was drunker. He would probably forget all this by morning, but something would remain: a threat, a fear, a danger. He might turn into a nut himself, but he was learning how to master a nut. He was going to make Billy love him in his weird way.

He threw a knee across Billy's hips and sat astride him. His cock reared up near Billy's mouth. He held Billy's shoulders and pulled him closer.

“Suck it. Suck my cock. Make love to it. Try to buy me that way. I'm going to come quickly.
Do it!”
he commanded.

Billy did as he was told. Perry swung his hips back and forth, driving it in. He had him again. He would master him and establish his total control over him. The power in him sang in his veins. Perry had a massive orgasm. Billy choked on it, and his mouth overflowed.

Perry pulled back as Billy lay back, his chest heaving and an arm over his eyes.

“You're sublime, Perry,” he gasped. “You know. You know everything I've ever wanted. Don't ever leave me.”

Perry pulled his knee back and sprang off the bed onto his feet. He stood looking down at him and was touched by pity and tenderness. “Good night, honey,” he said gently. “I'll be around.”

“The bell by your bed,” Billy said in a fading voice. “Ring once for breakfast. Whenever you want it. You know everything.”

Perry woke up in muted daylight and lay without moving while he reassembled the events of the previous evening. Tony's. Mabel Mercer. Frances Faye. Those other places. It was all there.

He got to the scene of their nightcaps and felt himself blushing hotly. What in God's name had got into him? He must have gone as bats as Billy. He had said things that only a lunatic could say, but it had worked. How had he dreamed it all up? It was a wonder he wasn't out in the street, sleeping in a doorway.

The point was, he wasn't going to have to think about doorways ever again. He opened his eyes. He was in a handsomely appointed bedroom. The light was dim because heavy draperies were drawn.

He fumbled for his watch. It was almost noon. He found the bell beside the bed and pressed it once, then jumped out of bed and went to the bathroom.

His morning erection was too rock-hard for him even to be able to pee. He brushed his teeth, waiting, and heard movement next door in his room. He called out, and Laszlo's voice answered.

“Help!” he called, moving toward the door with his erection. Laszlo looked at him blandly. “What can I do about this thing? It seems to be locked in this position.”

“P.P.”

“Pee-pee? I tried that.”

“P. P.” Laszlo grinned. “Priapic paralysis. Dangerous. Especially for me. Put it away. Rock it to sleep or something.” He turned his back to Perry and put a tray on the bedside table. “Or try an aspirin.”

“Good idea. For both of my heads.” Perry disappeared into the bathroom.

“Your breakfast is here. Did we hit some rough weather last night?” Laszlo called.

“Not really. I think I'm going a bit nutty, that's all. Nothing to worry about,” he said as he crawled back into bed. “Is he up yet?”

“He had his breakfast some time ago.” Laszlo put the bed table across Perry's lap. “He's about to retire to the bathroom. I'll be back.”

“How is he?”

“As bright as a bird. He asked me to tell you that he hopes you'll come to see him before you go out.”

“Did he sound angry with me?”

“On the contrary. He sounded particularly solicitous. He asked if I was sure I was providing everything you required. I think he wanted to know if I was making you happy in bed. It was a conversation laden with innuendo.”

They laughed easily together. “If you're supposed to be making me happy in bed, you're doing a lousy job of it. I meant to tell you: You don't have to bother with all this food when I get up so late. Just coffee and fruit juice would be fine.”

“If you're hung —
over
, that is — food is repellent.” He left Perry to his breakfast and his sense of triumph. Perry had somehow blundered into winning another important round. Billy must remember more than he had expected. Perry was getting firmly entrenched. He was eager to see if anything had been altered. He took advantage of a slackening of his erection to hurry back to the bathroom.

He was in bed again when Laszlo returned and smiled into his eyes as he removed the table. Perry threw back the covers.

“The paralysis is gone.”

“I see. Did you rock it to sleep? It's a shame I couldn't have been of more assistance.”

“Next time, perhaps,” Perry teased.

Laszlo smiled at him and shook his head. “I can't, Perry. If I let myself once, I'd never be able to keep my hands off you.”

“So? Nobody will know.” Perry was still teasing, but he realized Laszlo was serious.

“I'll know, Perry.” He covered Perry gently with the sheet, a rueful little smile on his lips. “A valet's duties have got to end somewhere.”

“What control,” Perry said with feigned regret. “I suppose I don't need to actually have you to love you.” He was fond of Laszlo and felt now the fondness could grow naturally since they'd both made their positions clear.

Laszlo picked up the tray and headed for the door. “That's when real control is needed. When there's love there already.”

They looked into each other's eyes and smiled, their friendship sealed as if they had been lovers for years.

Laszlo disappeared with the tray, and Perry threw off the sheet. He looked at his cock and gave it a little slap. “You see, not everybody wants you, smarty.” He needed a cold shower.

Perry put on his jacket and disposed of the money and key and cigarette case in various pockets and crossed the landing.

Billy was wearing slacks and a shirt but still had his dressing gown over them. He had a glass in his hand. He turned to Perry with a look of slightly astonished delight, as if he'd suddenly been relieved of some anxiety. He hurried to Perry and kissed him lightly on the mouth. That was becoming a habit.

“Good morning, dearest boy,” Billy greeted him. “I think I might have had a little too much to drink last night. That can happen if I'm not paying attention. I didn't misbehave?”

“Good heavens, no. It was a wonderful evening.”

“The last thing in the world I would want is to offend you.”

“You asked me not to leave you. One can hardly call that offensive behavior.”

“I meant it. I admit there were moments I don't remember with absolute crystal clarity, but I feel that we're getting closer than I've ever felt with anybody.”

He smiled, then turned his back and headed for a chair and sat. He looked at Perry steadily for a long moment. “You're demanding. You have a right to be. I want you to demand everything you expect of me. It's only by being demanding of each other that we can know and love one another. There's something you probably understand, but I want to tell you anyway. I don't give you little presents in order to dispose you in my favor. I know you're not that kind of boy. I think you'd rather have my love than a cigarette case.”

“I would, but I love the cigarette case too,” Perry said with blunt honesty.

Billy uttered unexpected naughty-boy laughter. “You're a delight, an absolute delight. Giving you things is a way for me to share the pleasure of knowing that you have the things you should have so that you'll never feel at a disadvantage with the people you meet with me.” Billy frowned and cocked his head. “You following this? Am I making sense?”

“Perfect.” Perry was listening with victorious incredulity. Billy's manner was conciliatory, almost deferential, as if begging his indulgence. Guilt could do wonders. He'd learned that with Hubie. And Mrs. Rosen.

Perry leaned down and kissed Billy gently on the top of the head. “Are you beginning to love me, Billy?” he asked with a note of surprise in his voice.

“My memory of last night may be slightly blurred, but it's left me with a feeling unlike any I've ever had before. You might say that I feel that you could become almost as necessary as breathing to me. That's surely love.”

“Don't say things like that if you don't mean them, Billy. You think I'm smart, and I know I've had to be tough, but I'm still pretty young and innocent in a lot of ways. I don't know what it would do to me if it turned out that you were just stringing me along.” He tightened his grip on Billy's arms until he knew it must be hurting.

“No matter what happens, you can count on me, Perry. I solemnly swear it. You're the most thrilling young man I've ever known.”

“If you were a young man, I wouldn't trust you. I trust you, Billy. I already think of you as part of my future.” He relaxed his grip on Billy's arms. He had seen fear spring up in Billy's eyes. Fear and guilt could make people do almost anything.

“That's the nicest thing you could say to me. It's the way it should be. You won't regret it. I was afraid you might get out this morning before I'd pulled myself together. Since you're such a lazybones, why don't we have lunch together? I thought it might be fun to go to the Radio City skating rink. It's the most charming new addition to New York that I can remember. There's something so sweetly innocent about watching city slickers twirling around the ice. There're some quite good restaurants at the rink level. Would you like that? You could get on with your chores after lunch. Passport. Mark Cross. And, of course, Cartier for the ring.”

“That couldn't be better.”

Billy's slightly deferential manner remained through some more fresheners. Perry hadn't been sure he could refer to himself as young and innocent with a straight face, but Billy swallowed it. He'd found the key to handling Billy. Tough and demanding, with an undercurrent of menace when he really needed to be knocked into line.

They took a taxi to Radio City Plaza and had a pleasant lunch watching the skaters. There were a couple of cute girls in sexy little skirts sitting among them, and Perry was glad to find that he coveted them as much as he always had.

Laszlo had apparently never had a girl. Poor guy. Perry was pleased they'd become friends. Being able to joke about being queer made him realize that he could never be completely queer himself. Funny how he had a way of ending up with the help. Mrs. Costigan would say that that was where he belonged, and she would probably have a point. He didn't know how long it would take him to feel totally at home with the grand folks. Perhaps a cruise on the Mediterranean would do it.

“I've invited Valentina for dinner tonight,” Billy said that evening when Perry came in from shopping at Mark Cross and getting the necessary photographs and documents for his passport. “We'll go to Voisin and then take her to El Morocco later. You have to dress there.”