The Good Life (25 page)

He finally demolished what was left of his cell at 4.15 a.m. It took three POs and two male nurses to subdue and sedate him. He was down on the block by 6 a.m.

Eileen was making lunch the next day when Jenny finally strolled in.

‘Well, fuck me, girl, you have certainly nailed the just-rogered look!’

Jenny attempted a smile but she felt awful. The effects of the drink and the knowledge that she had slept with Freddie Marks were starting to take their toll.

‘Oh, Mum. What have I done?’ She burst into tears.

Eileen put her arm around her girl, and held her close. ‘I’ll tell you what you’ve done. You went out with a nice bloke and you got your leg over. It’s hardly a hanging offence in this day and age. You were hurting, you’d had the worst day possible and you needed to escape your life for a while.’

‘But, Mum . . . Poor Cain. I was so fucking angry and disappointed with him yesterday. Now I’ve gone and slept with someone else!’

‘Did you enjoy it?’

Jenny nodded, feeling a flush of shame.

‘Listen, girl, you ain’t the first and you certainly won’t be the last. Personally, I think it will have done you the world of good. A bit of passion never hurt anyone and he is a nice-looking lad. I would, and I’m nearly old enough to be his big sister!’

Jenny had to laugh then. Eileen could be funny at times and maybe she was right on this occasion. She had enjoyed it, and she wanted to do it again. So why did it feel like a betrayal? Freddie Marks had been so lovely, telling her all the things she needed to hear, holding her tightly and making her feel safe. She turned to go upstairs to her bedroom, but Eileen stopped her.

‘By the way, Jen, you’ll never guess who was shot to death yesterday in his own home.’

Jenny looked at her mother and shrugged. ‘Who?’

‘Peter Parkes! And I know I’m no fucking mastermind but it seems funny, all of this happening on the same day. It looks like your Cain is back to his old self in more ways than one, eh?’

Jenny couldn’t quite comprehend what her mother was telling her. Peter Parkes was dead? Shot down in his own home? There was no way the timing was a coincidence; she knew that much was true.

‘It was all over the late evening news – knocked your Cain from the top story, darling. Guns always top knives when it comes to the order of these things. So there are obviously a few things you don’t know about this, darlin’.’

Jenny didn’t answer her mother. She sat down at the kitchen table and poured herself out a cup of tea.

‘He rang here last night. I said you didn’t want to talk to him. He sounded fucking upset.’

Jenny rolled her eyes at that. The knowledge of what Cain had planned for what was to be their wedding day was just sinking in. Her anniversary would always have been the same date as Peter Parkes’s death, and Cain didn’t even seem to care. She felt a terrible coldness wash over her as she realised exactly what the man she loved was capable of.

She cried bitterly, ‘I bet he was. Missed out on a fuck, didn’t he? He paid twenty grand for a fucking hour with me. Now I’ve spent the night with Freddie Marks and, do you know what, Mum? It was
fantastic
. You were right all along. I need a bit of life. I want to live
my
life finally.’

Eileen shook her head. ‘I’ve got to give it to you, Jen, you don’t do things by halves!’

‘I must have been mad, Mum. All these years I’ve lived in a vacuum. Everything I did was for Cain – trying to make his life easier while he was banged up. Writing to him, visiting him, telling myself that it wasn’t that hard, that the loneliness was something I could control if I just kept my mind focused. And I was lonely, Mum – so fucking lonely – but I bore it because I knew he felt the same. Yet he’d planned to have a man killed on what should have been the happiest day of our lives. Jesus Christ, talk about having shit in my eyes. I never saw him properly, did I? I made him into the Cain Moran I wanted him to be.’

Eileen sat down at the table opposite her daughter and took her hand gently. Never had she heard her Jenny talk like this about the man she loved to distraction.

‘Well, girl, the ball’s in your court now.’

Jenny sighed. ‘I know that now, Mum. I need to think long and hard about what to do with my life.’

Freddie Marks and Jenny were together in Freddie’s flat. He was smiling at her happily as she sipped her glass of wine. Though it wasn’t an ideal situation, he was willing to accept Jenny’s pleas for secrecy. Freddie wanted to be seen with her; he wanted to take her out and spoil her. He wanted to be her boyfriend. But Jenny Riley knew that could never happen and, in spite of her anger with Cain over his antics, she’d come to the realisation that she would always love him and accepted the limitations that put on her. She had made it plain to Freddie Marks that if he wanted her, it would have to be on
her
terms, and on the quiet. Even though he’d made it clear he wanted more than that she wasn’t going to change her mind.

Jenny Riley was in lust, not in love, and there was a big difference. The sex with Freddie was explosive and regular, and there was no denying she was enjoying it. But she was still in love with Cain Moran and nothing would ever change that. Once she had admitted it to herself, she felt resigned to the fact that Cain would always come first, no matter what. These last few months had been a real learning curve for her, and even her relationship with Cain had undergone a massive transformation. She didn’t accept anything at face value and quizzed him on everything. The shift in balance had been good for her, and she was determined not to be so gullible or ignorant any more. But it didn’t matter what he had done or might do in the future – Cain would always be the love of her life.

The sex with Freddie Marks was physically fulfilling, but she was well aware she could never love him. What she and Freddie had would eventually run its course, then she would go back to the way she was before: waiting for Cain to come home.

As she watched Freddie now, Jenny felt sad for him, but it was only fleeting. Because now he was taking off her dress, and she couldn’t wait much longer.

Sex really was the best medicine, and she had grown up enough to realise that sometimes you needed certain things in life. If she thought of Cain while she made love to Freddie Marks then that really was her prerogative. She couldn’t have the real thing, so she was willing to settle for second best.

Eileen was right behind her, making sure she had the time she needed to enjoy her new-found freedom. It felt good to be needed, to be desired again. As she followed Freddie Marks to his bedroom she didn’t feel the slightest shred of remorse. If she had learned one thing from Cain, it was that the only way to survive in this life was by taking what you could from every situation. She was simply putting his philosophy into action.

Cain was working out and, even though he didn’t feel like it, he knew he had to do it. Sleep had been harder to come by since the events of what should have been his wedding day.

Jenny was a changed woman, and he only had himself to blame. She didn’t come to visit as regularly as she had before, and when she did come, she was a lot less passive, talking about her own life rather than just enquiring after his. Before, she had hated telling him about her life because it was on the outside and she didn’t want him to feel excluded. Now, he had every thought in her head thrown at him. It was certainly different, but how could he blame her? He had taken the piss in many respects and he rationalised maybe they were better off with this new relationship. They were equal partners.

Cain Junior had also changed, and wasn’t as affectionate as he had been towards his father. Cain knew he would have read all sorts in the papers and heard plenty of gossip about him. But he was a realist and had always known his son would find out the truth one day. He’d just hoped he would understand. There wasn’t much he could do about it banged up like he was now, so he would have to rely on Jenny to deal with the situation as best she could. It was frustrating to be so powerless when it came to people you loved.

In terms of Cain’s power as a Face, though, he was far from helpless these days. Now that he’d had Parkes taken out, and had entered into a partnership with the Osman brothers, he was back on top. It felt good to be scamming again and using his brain, and it was easier than he had thought possible to get back into things from the inside. The Osmans needed his good name, and he needed them on the outside to help pile up the money again. He was back in the Life, and making up for lost time; though he could not change his sentence he could still earn a decent wedge. The Osman brothers were good blokes and, now he had a mobile phone, he was able to keep in contact with them easily.

This new technology was amazing, but it also made the men aware of just how much the world outside was changing. It seemed that every week something new was launched on the world at large, and they felt left out of the loop, unable to access any of it. It was changing the face of the crime industry, and this was just the beginning. He had always been on the ball, and he was catching up with it as quickly as he could. The younger men were more than willing to explain things, and it was good to keep abreast of change – especially now he was back in business.

The prison had ruled James Banks Junior’s death as self-defence on Cain’s part – there was no comeback, which pleased him no end. In some ways he would have enjoyed a trial as a way of getting away from these fucking four walls for a while. There was no end of inmates who would keep appealing their sentences, just to get out and about. All in all, though, Cain was so relieved he had finally got his Jenny back and he had some work to occupy his time, that was enough for him right now.

The lack of sleep bothered him though – he would often lie awake for hours on end. Blokko reckoned it happened to a lot of the lifers, and saw it as a form of depression. Maybe he had a point. One thing Cain did know was he needed to get some well-earned shuteye soon because it was really starting to take its toll on his frame of mind. Working out would make him physically tired, and he hoped that by upping his regime he might just finally drop off through sheer exhaustion. It was worth a try anyway.

Molly was exhausted; it was a long journey to the Isle of Wight, what with the drive down and the ferry crossing. It had been an arduous day, and she wasn’t getting any younger. As usual she had accepted the ritual of being searched by a female prison officer and, after what seemed an age, she was finally able to go through to the visiting room.

She lived for these visits and, now that Jenny wasn’t coming down at every available opportunity, she could see her son more often on her own. She preferred that – they could talk properly without having to worry about Jenny’s reaction – and she knew Cain liked it too.

She bought two mugs of tea and a couple of Kit Kats and settled at a far table, awaiting her son’s arrival. She sensed he hadn’t been quite as chipper of late but he always had a smile and a wink for his old mum. He put on a good show for her, she knew that much. She loved the fact that the eyes of female visitors always followed him, responding to his good looks, and how the men always gave him a respectful greeting. It was a crying shame that her son was spending the best years of his life locked up.

As he made his way towards her now, he was smiling widely, and she felt the sting of tears at what she had to tell him. But she was his mother, and she had to do right by him. If there was another man in Jenny’s life, then he ought to know. He wasn’t going to be made a fool of, not on her watch. As much as she loved the girl, there were some things that couldn’t be forgiven.

Eileen was unloading her shopping from Jenny’s car when she heard Caroline Moran’s voice behind her.

‘Feeding the five thousand, are we?’ She sounded friendly, but her usual undertone of malice could be heard beneath the surface.

Eileen replied nonchalantly, ‘No, we just thought we’d better be ready in case you popped in for a snack.’

The barb hit home and Caroline closed her eyes for a moment before saying carefully, ‘I thought I would see how poor Jenny is doing these days – after the wedding fiasco and everything.’

Eileen turned to face her, ready for a fight if need be. ‘She survived, and she and Cain are stronger than ever, darling.’

‘Really? So all this talk about her and Freddie Marks isn’t true?’ Eileen’s face paled, telling Caroline Moran all she needed to know. ‘Well, who can blame her? I wouldn’t think Cain will be so fucking forgiving though. Funny like that, he was. Slept with any old trollop who’d let him between her legs, but he always said he’d kill me if I did it. Food for thought, eh?’

With that she waddled away. As Eileen watched her retreat, she felt a rising panic. The cat was out of the bag. She needed to warn Jenny and, more to the point, Freddie Marks. Cain Moran might be banged up but that wasn’t going to stop him retaliating. Freddie must have blabbed, the stupid fucking idiot. Now there would be hell to pay.

‘Oh my God, what are you going to do?’

Freddie Marks was nonplussed for a moment by Jenny’s words. ‘What do you mean, what am
I
going to do?’

Jenny sighed in exasperation. ‘Are you being deliberately obtuse?’

He shook his head. This was what he had wanted – they could be a proper couple now. He said as much and saw the way Jenny’s face paled. ‘Look, Jen, think about it. He’s going to be banged up for years and we can move away. Abroad even.’

Jenny laughed then, nastily. Fear was hammering at her chest. ‘Are you on fucking drugs, Freddie? Do you really think Cain will swallow the idea of you taking his woman? I told you from the get-go that I wouldn’t ever love you. That I could never be with you. You agreed to that. You must have told someone. If Caroline Moran knows then so does the whole fucking world – they don’t call her the
Romford Recorder
for nothing.’