The Good, the Bad and the Unready (12 page)
Read The Good, the Bad and the Unready Online
Authors: Robert Easton
Saladin the
Chivalrous Saracen
Saladin, Saracen leader, c.1138–93
Saladin was pitted against Richard the
LIONHEART
in the Third Crusade and earned his nickname when he allegedly saw Richard
without a horse and sent him one of his own steeds, saying he would not see such a worthy opponent without a mount. He was not all sweetness and light, however: his hatred of Christians was absolute. ‘Let us purge the air that they breathe,’ he told his troops, ‘until there shall not remain on this earth one unbeliever in God.’
Saladin the
Chivalrous Saracen
Citizen Equity
Philip I, duke of Orléans, 1747–93
In an attempt to recoup the vast fortune that he had squandered, Philip built an arcade of shops and cafes in his palace grounds. Business proved to be brisk, and the gardens soon became a popular meeting place. However, they also became a crucible of liberal dissent, and as the French Revolution grew in intensity, so did murmurings against Philip, with rumours flying that he secretly harboured ambitions to be king. To stem the tide of unpopularity, Philip publicly renounced his hereditary titles, assumed the name ‘Citizen Equity’ or ‘E´galite’ and, as a member of the National Convention, voted in 1792 for the death of Louis XVI, ‘the Baker’
(see
the
BAKER AND THE BAKER’S WIFE
). His efforts were in vain, however, and Philip followed the monarch to the guillotine the very next year.
Louis Philip the
Citizen King
Louis Philip I, king of France, 1773–1850
Together with the likes of Maximilien Robespierre and Jean Paul Marat, Louis was a member of the Jacobin Club. He fought in the Revolutionary army but, feeling alienated by the more radical policies of the Republic, deserted, and in 1793 went into exile in Switzerland. For a number of years he travelled under a pseudonym, first as ‘Chabaud Latour’ and later as ‘Herr Müller’, only returning to France after the restoration of the Bourbons over twenty years later.
Colourful Characters
Erik the
RED
, Edward the
BLACK PRINCE
, Harald
BLUE-TOOTH
and many others with a colour-related epithet are mentioned elsewhere in this book. Below is a collection of other nobles whose main soubriquet is ‘black’, ‘red’, ‘green’ or ‘white’. As with the longer, individual entries, the origins of these nicknames vary, from hair colour to dress sense.
Fulk the Black
Fulk III, count of Anjou, c.970–1040
Even the most bloodthirsty of barbarians would blanch when they considered the dark deeds of Fulk, a man who burnt his wife at the stake, waged war with his son, and sent twelve thugs to assassinate the favourite minister of Robert the
PIOUS
.
Halfdan the Black
Halfdan III, king of Norway, d.c.860
Details about Halfdan’s life, as recorded by medieval Icelandic historians such as Snorri Sturluson, are, at best, sketchy. We can be fairly sure, however, that he had black hair and that aged forty he drowned after falling through the ice of a frozen lake.
Amadeus the Green and Amadeus the Red
Amadeus VI, count of Savoy, 1334–83 Amadeus VII, count of Savoy, 1360–91
Amadeus VI adored tournaments almost as much as he did Savoy, and his nickname ‘the Green’ derives from the vivid emerald colour of his ensign at these events and his customary livery when at court. At his son’s wedding he turned up resplendent in his customary green taffeta with cloth-of-gold embroideries on the sleeves. Not to be outdone, Amadeus VII
emulated the paternal example, but chose bright red instead of green for his signature colour.
Thorstein the Red
Thorstein, Norse king of Scotland, d.900
The little we know about Thorstein comes from later Icelandic sources. Quite possibly, he married Thurid, the sister of a woman called ‘Helgi the Lean’. In all probability his nickname denotes the colour of his hair.
Elizabeth the Red-Nosed Princess
Elizabeth, princess of the Palatine, 1618–80
Elizabeth, the daughter of ‘Frederick the Winter King’
(see
the
WINTER MONARCHS
), possessed a monstrous aquiline nose that had the disturbing habit of turning cherry red at the most inopportune moments. When it did so, she would run away to her bedroom and hide.
Donald the White
Donald III, king of Scotland, c.1033–99
When he became king on the death of Malcolm
BIGHEAD
, the first act of the sixty-year-old, white-haired ‘Domnall Ban’ (meaning ‘Donald the White’ and sometimes anglicized as ‘Donalbain’) was to expel all the Englishmen from his court. The red-haired English king William Rufus was furious and sent an entire army north to get rid of him.
White Hands
Godred, king of Man and Dublin, c.1040–95
Godred ‘White Hands’ was so named because of his habit of wearing white gauntlets into battle. A slightlymore outlandish choice of battledress was that of ‘Sebastian the Madman’, the sixteenth-century king of Portugal who dressed in green armour, in order that he might be clearly visible to one and all.
On his arrival in Paris in 1830, the son of Citizen
EQUITY
received two nicknames. The first was ‘the King of the Barricades’, after the form of mass protest that occurred before he was declared lieutenant-general of France. The second, ‘the Citizen King’, was conferred upon him ten days later when the people elected him their monarch.
After a cautious and conservative reign, Louis Philip was ousted by the Revolution of 1848. Again he used a pseudonym to ensure safety. When he arrived in England, his immigration papers stated that he was a humble citizen called ‘William Smith’.
Clicquot
Frederick William IV, king of Prussia, 1795–1861
Often depicted as a romantic aesthete rather than a hard-headed politician, Frederick William had specific tastes and strong views: he appreciated organized religion but believed in the divine right of kings; he liked the order of the German nation but disliked parliaments; and he loved champagne (for which the British satirical magazine
Punch
gave him his brand-specific nickname) but absolutely loathed France.
Omar the
Commander of the Faithful
Omar I, second caliph, c.581–644
Succeeding Abu Bakr the
UPRIGHT
, Omar was the first of several caliphs to enjoy the title ‘the Commander of the Faithful’. His reign was marked by significant Islamic territorial expansion, including into Persia, but an obviously unfaithful Persian slave assassinated him.
Edward the
Confessor
Edward, king of England, c.1003–66
It is widely accepted that Edward did not love the military life. It is also generally agreed that Edward did not love his wife, Edith (indeed their unconsummated marriage dissolved completely when he sent her off to a convent). Instead, Edward had one passion: the Church. The most enduring expression of his passion for Christianity is Westminster Abbey in London, the construction of which he personally financed.
