The Governess of Highland Hall (19 page)

“Thank you. I believe we are making good progress.”

He nodded. “My cousins will come around in time.”

“I hope so.” She hesitated, her stomach tensing again, but for a different reason this time. “Sir, there is something else I should tell you.”

“What is it?”

“I should’ve given you this information during my interview, but I was a bit flustered, and I wasn’t sure what the outcome of the one-month trial would be.” She swallowed, reluctant to continue.

His dark eyebrows lowered. “Go on.”

“I am very fond of the children, and I’m grateful for this position. But if my father’s health improves and he regains his strength, our family plans to return to India.”

His face fell. “You would leave us?”

Her breath caught in her throat.

He grimaced and held up his hand. “I’m sorry. That was not what I meant to say.”

But the vulnerability of his comment pierced her heart. Suddenly, the truth rushed through her. She did not wish to leave him or the children, but the time might come when that was necessary. It would be best for her to prepare him—and herself—for that possibility.

She looked up. “I believe we have a calling from God, and if He answers our prayers and restores my father’s health, then we must follow that call back to India.”

“You speak of
we
as if that tie to your parents is the only claim on your heart.”

“I know of no other claim … except that of my commitment to the Lord, and it is He who called us.”

His expression turned brooding. “Very well. Thank you for the warning.” Sarcasm laced his words, but she heard the hurt beneath them.

She bit her lip, trying to think of a way to ease his mind. “Sir, I have no idea what the future may bring. I pray my father’s health improves, but even then, we would have to raise the necessary finances and make the arrangements. It would be several months before we could leave. I’m sure you would have time to find a replacement.”

“Finding a replacement is not the point.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to disappoint you.”

“I am not disappointed. It’s simply time consuming to find a decent and sensible governess. I’ve no desire to start that process again.”

Her heart dropped. Was that the only problem—finding someone decent and sensible to replace her? She schooled her expression and pressed the hurt down deeper in her heart.

“I’m finished discussing this. You may go.” He waved her away as though she were no more than an irritating fly.

She gave him a slight nod, then turned and strode toward the door, leaving him there to brood alone.

The next morning William glared out the library window as rain splattered against the glass. The darkening sky cast gloomy shadows around the room, while the wind blew around the casings with an eerie whistle.

Blasted storm! He would have to send a note to McTavish and postpone their meeting to inspect the stable roof and discuss the needed repairs. No one should be climbing ladders in weather like this. It also meant he would have to stay in and spend the rest of the morning finishing the work at his desk.

With a weary sigh, he focused on the ledger, but the numbers blurred before his eyes. He hated being cooped up indoors almost as much as his son did. Thoughts of Andrew quickly turned to thoughts of Miss Foster. He shoved his ledger aside and rose from his chair.

Would she actually leave them and return to India? She said she would give him several months’ notice, but one month or six, he didn’t like the idea of her sailing off across the ocean. The whole thing left him feeling very unsettled.

Of course he admired her determination and commitment to her faith. But did that mean she had to leave Highland? Couldn’t she stay and serve God by helping him care for his children and cousins?

Miss Foster didn’t seem to have a problem with leaving—no hesitation, no regret. Well, she was made of sterner stuff than he had realized.

Not many men or women of his acquaintance would be willing to leave the comforts of England for the challenges of missionary life in a foreign country, especially not the life she had described: caring for poor villagers and rescuing girls from lives of abuse in heathen temples. He sighed and shook his head.

How could he resent her for desiring to go and do such important work? Caring for his two children and preparing his cousins for the season wasn’t nearly as significant as her life in India.

He crossed to the window and stared out through the drizzling rain. He had to admit he’d been wounded by her announcement. How quickly she
had become an important part of their lives. He had come to depend on her for more than just overseeing the children and his cousins. Their discussions in the evenings had been stimulating, especially as she related stories of her experiences in India and how they had shaped her faith. She brought her spirituality into her everyday life in a way that intrigued and challenged him.

If she left, it would mean another loss for him and his children, but he did want what was best for Miss Foster. She deserved that, even if it meant freeing her to travel halfway around the world … leaving him and his family far behind.

TWELVE

Julia ran her hand down her dress’s silky lavender sash. “It’s so lovely.” She looked up and smiled at her reflection in Sarah’s bedroom mirror. The lavender underdress was partially covered by a sheer plum overdress decorated with sparkling silver beading. And from each fluttering sleeve hung a shimmering plum tassel—the perfect finishing touch to the exquisite evening gown.

“The dress is pretty, but you are the one who looks lovely.” Sarah stood behind Julia, a happy light in her eyes as she gazed into the mirror.

“Thank you, Sarah. I don’t know what I would’ve worn tonight if you hadn’t let me borrow this dress.”

“I’m happy to do it. The color is perfect with your dark hair and fair complexion. It looks as if it were made for you.”

“You’re so kind.”

“Well, it’s true. And I’m sure you will outshine Katherine and every other lady at the table.”

Julia shook her head and stepped away from the mirror. “I have no desire to outshine Katherine or anyone else.”

This was the first time she had been invited to dine with William and his family and guests. Just the thought of it made her stomach quiver. Her conversation skills and table manners would carry her through the evening, but what would William think when he saw her dressed this way? Would he be pleased?

Sarah adjusted a pin in her hair, a merry light still shining in her eyes. “We have fourteen guests tonight, and three of them are eligible bachelors—four if you include my brother.” Sarah tipped her head and smiled at
Julia. “Perhaps one of them will want to become better acquainted with you.”

Julia’s cheeks warmed, and she laughed softly. “I’m sure the gentlemen attending tonight’s dinner would not be interested in a former missionary who now works as a governess.”

“And why not? Missionary and governess are both noble occupations.”

“Perhaps, but I am sure they would all consider me a middle-class spinster.”

“No, you’re much too young to be considered a spinster.”

“I’m almost twenty-eight and well past the age when most young women marry.”

Sarah’s expression faltered. “You are younger than I am by two years, and I don’t consider myself too old to marry.”

Julia reached for Sarah’s hand. “Of course not. Love can come at any age. But my circumstances are different from yours. I doubt I will ever marry.”

“Why would you say that, Julia?”

“My broken engagement has taught me many lessons.”

“Such as?”

“The pain of a broken heart is not easily mended. When Richard Green returned to England and left me behind, taking all my dreams for marriage and family with him, my confidence was shattered, and a cloud of despair settled over me for several months. My parents counseled me to forgive him and accept the Lord’s will in the situation, but I couldn’t seem to release the hurt or anger. Finally, one morning, the Lord broke through my gloom and spoke to me very clearly.”

“Really? What did He say?”

“I didn’t hear an audible voice but sensed a very clear impression in my heart. He asked if I was willing to release all my sorrow and pain and let Him carry them for me. Would I let Him safeguard my heart and trust Him with my future?”

Tears glistened in Sarah’s eyes, and she tightened her hold on Julia’s hand.

“He was so tender and kind I couldn’t say no. So I gave it all to Him. It was a costly, painful offering, but with acceptance came peace and the release of my sorrows.”

Sarah brushed a tear from the corner of her eye. “How wonderful to hear from the Lord like that and receive His comfort, but I hope you won’t give up on the possibility of love and marriage. You would make a wonderful wife and mother. You do want to marry, don’t you?”

Julia swallowed and looked away. Of course, that was what she had always wanted, more than anything else. But it seemed the Lord had closed that door and was directing her toward a single life where she would use her skills as a teacher to serve Him and help others. Still, the desire for love and marriage and her own children hadn’t vanished from her heart, especially since she had come to Highland. She pushed those thoughts away and adjusted her sash. “How are things going with Mr. Dalton?”

Sarah’s smile returned. “We see each other often in the greenhouse or his office … but we haven’t spoken to William yet.”

Julia turned to Sarah. “Do you think that’s wise?”

“I’m not sure. My feelings for Mr. Dalton grow stronger every day, and I hate to keep our courtship a secret, but my brother is very traditional and not one to go against social customs.”

“I’m sure your happiness means more to him than what others think.”

“I hope so, but I’m afraid when he hears about it, he’ll be upset and say something harsh to Mr. Dalton.”

“What if you spoke to him first, without Mr. Dalton being present. That would give him time to consider the situation before he meets with Mr. Dalton.”

“I know I should, but I’m not sure how I’ll find the courage to do it. William has always been my protector, and I don’t want to go against his wishes.”

Julia reached for Sarah’s hand again. “Do you love Mr. Dalton?”

“Yes.” Her dark brown eyes glowed with warmth. “I believe I do.”

“Then don’t let fear of your brother’s disapproval steal your chance for
a future with Mr. Dalton. Gather your courage and speak to your brother soon.”

Tears glistened in Sarah’s eyes. “Oh, Julia, you are such a dear.” She squeezed her hand. “Thank you so much.”

Julia smiled and had to blink away the moisture in her own eyes. “Please, there is no need to thank me. I feel blessed to find a friend like you.”

Sarah laughed softly and stepped back. “Look at us. We will go down to dinner with red eyes and glowing noses if we aren’t careful.” She took two handkerchiefs from the top drawer of her dressing table and handed one to Julia.

Julia wiped her eyes and looked in the mirror once more. Catching Sarah’s reflection, she smiled. “You look very pretty, Sarah. I believe our conversation has put some extra color in your cheeks.”

Sarah dabbed her nose. “It’s your skill with arranging my hair that makes the difference.”

“That and your new confidence and lovely smile.”

Sarah pulled open the top drawer of her dressing table. “There’s one more thing you need.” She took out an amethyst necklace and held it out to Julia. “This was my mother’s.”

“Oh no. I couldn’t.”

“Please.” Sarah placed the necklace in Julia’s hand. “It would make me so happy to see you wear it.”

Julia examined the silver filigree with tiny diamonds and teardrop pearls surrounding the oval amethyst. “It’s the most exquisite necklace I’ve ever seen.”

Sarah smiled. “It always makes me feel like a princess when I put it on.”

Julia held it out to Sarah. “You should wear it tonight.”

“It doesn’t go with my dress.” Sarah took a long strand of pearls from her drawer. “I’m going to wear these.” She slipped the necklace over her head. “There, how does that look?” With Sarah’s glossy brown hair and fair complexion, the pearls were a perfect choice.