The Gravity Keeper (11 page)

Simon blinked. “Wait…the Order of what? Flannel who?”

“Oh, you're a special boy, aren't you?” Flangelo said. “Listen carefully.” He pointed at himself. “My name is Flan-jell-oh Skwi-cho-knee. I can write it for you if it'll help. And I'm here from the Order of Bye-ahl-oh-jee.” He paused. “It's a science.” He paused again while the trio just stared at him. “Study of living things.” He sighed. “This is going to be one of those days, isn't it?”

Alysha put her hands on her hips. “Yeah, we know what biology is, and we understand what you want, but we have our own questions. Like what is the Order of Biology and how did you turn from Tweety Bird into a real live boy?”

“Ooooh, sassy.” Flangelo clapped. “The Order of Biology is just like your Order of Physics, only we practice biology, not physics, get it? I saw what just happened in your Dunkerhook Woods, and I want to know just what you junior scientists are up to, pronto.” He snapped his fingers several times.

Alysha stomped her foot. “Are you threatening us? You saw how we handled those two back in the woods.”

Flangelo sneered. “Yes, that was very energetic running you did. Bravo.”

“That's it,” Alysha said. “Simon, use the fireball and flame-broil him.”

Flangelo's face went pale. “Okay, okay, no need to get pushy. I'm not here for trouble, just information.”

“You
are
a spy!” Owen gasped.

Flangelo waved him away. “Hush, field mouse. I'm no spy, just an emissary.”

“Emi-what?” Alysha asked.

Flangelo looked up at the sky in exasperation. “I'll bet you all rule at Scrabble.
Emissary
. It means ‘messenger.'”

Alysha gestured for him to continue.

Flangelo cleared his throat. “I'm a
messenger
for Gilio Skidowsa, Keeper of the Biology's
Teacher's Edition
and head of the Order of Biology.”

“Who?” all three kids asked at the same time.

Flangelo dramatically dropped his head into his hands and then looked up with a frown. “My boss. Leader of Biology. He has a Book just like Ralfagon Wintrofline's, only it says
Biology
on the cover.”

Simon pulled the Book out of his backpack. “You mean like this?”

Owen gasped. “Simon-don't-let-him-see-it-he'll-attack-us-too!”

“Who, Robin the Bird Wonder?” Alysha laughed. “What's he going to do, chirp us to death?”

Flangelo folded his arms. “Well, there's no need to be so rude about it. I mean, Robin? Green shorts? Tights? Please. Besides, I've already seen you with the Book. My question is, why do you have it? Where's Ralfagon?”

“That was the name in the Book!” Simon said. “Who is he?”

Flangelo made a trilling noise. “Who is—? Are you sure that lightning missed you?” Under his breath, he muttered, “That would explain a lot, actually.”

“Watch it, feathers,” Alysha said.

“Let's start simply,” Flangelo said. “What are your names?”

“I'm Simon; this is Alysha and Owen.”

Flangelo trilled again. “Those are completely normal names! You—” He gasped. “You're not in the Order, are you?”

Simon shrugged. “Which Order, exactly?”

“Oh no,” Flangelo warbled. “I've been afraid of this since I started watching you. You're not even in the Knowledge Union. You're Outsiders!”

“Please, just tell us what's going on,” Simon said.

Flangelo sighed. “I'll bet you can't throw fireballs, can you?” When Simon shook his head, Flangelo glared at Alysha. “Flame-broiled, huh? Big faker.”

“I don't know why the Book came to me, but it calls me Keeper,” Simon said.

“This makes no sense,” Flangelo said. “You see, Gilio sent me to check on Ralfagon and his Order.”

“How is that not spying?” Alysha demanded.

“Gilio and Ralfagon are friends,” Flangelo said. “It's different when you watch over friends. Gilio wanted me to find out what the Order of Physics did after the Council was forced to disband.” He raised a finger to stop Alysha from asking. “The Council of Sciences is all the Keepers—the leaders—of the Science Orders. Which are the folks with science-related Books. Like yours.”

“So what did you find out?” Simon asked.

“I've been flying around the town and the woods all week. I saw you and Squeaky Boy coming out of the woods with the
Teacher's Edition
on Tuesday, which made no sense. I checked on Ralfagon that same night, and he was perfectly healthy, so I started following you.” He chirped nervously. “But now that crazy duo says they put Ralfagon in the hospital. They're blowing things up and are oh, so very unhappy with you three. I just don't know what to do.”

“Can I ask you some questions?” Alysha asked.

Flangelo sighed. “Like saying no would work?”

Alysha scrunched her brow in concentration. “So there's a big group of people—the Knowledge Union—and some of them have Books, like Simon's
Teacher's Edition
. And they can all control different sciences?”

Flangelo nodded. “There are all sorts of groups, actually. The Orders deal with Sciences, the Guilds make things, and so on. Everything that makes the universe tick has a group, and it's all watched over by the Board of Administration. They're the ultimate bureaucracy.” He saw their confused expressions. “Think about all the headaches your parents have with waiting in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles or filing taxes. Picture that, only the BOA is in charge of people who can control existence. They're experts at putting the squeeze on, I tell you.” He chuckled, and then noticed the kids' blank faces. “Never mind.”

“You mean there's all this stuff going on right around us? All the time?” Simon asked.

“Since the dawn of humanity, there's been a Knowledge Union,” Flangelo explained. “Maybe even before, with the dolphins or something.” He stood proudly. “Biology deals with evolution, you know.” Seeing the kids' blank looks again, he sighed. “Can you even walk and chew gum at the same time?”

“You know,” Simon replied, “this
is
a lot to absorb. You could be nicer.”

“Yeah,” Alysha said, “if someone's going to insult these guys, I'd prefer it was me.” She saw Simon's look and smiled. “Kidding.”

“Listen, I'm sorry, kids. Really,” Flangelo said in a kinder tone. “But I'm pretty confused myself. I'm somewhat new to the Order of Biology, so I don't understand how everything works. I don't even know what to do about reporting this whole mess with Ralfagon and the Book.”

“Why not call Gilio on the phone and ask for advice?” Simon asked.

“Oh, if only it was that easy,” Flangelo trilled. “Gilio hates technology; he doesn't trust it. Thinks it's too easy to fake or trace phone calls, faxes, e-mails, and so on. You should hear his conspiracy theories. He's more cuckoo than I am.” He whistle-laughed. “Anyhoo, that's part of why he wanted me here: he was afraid some Order members were working together to bring down the whole system.”

Flangelo paused to chew on his lower lip. “Okay, maybe he wasn't so cuckoo on that one. Which is particularly bad news for you three.”

Owen dragged himself out from behind the file cabinet, where he'd been hiding all along. “Bad-news-why-bad-news-for-us?”

“Look who's come to join us; welcome back,” Flangelo said. “It's bad news because that tacky tattooed bleached blonde and the beady-eyed Zeus wannabe are going to do everything in their power to get that Book. Them and anyone else who's in on their conspiracy. They'll stop at nothing, and even if you give up the Book, they'll probably still eliminate you.”

Simon, Alysha, and Owen all stared in horror while Flangelo awkwardly looked away. Then he brightened. “Hey, I love this basement. Very minimalist, really. Who's your decorator?”

Owen moaned and crawled back behind the file cabinet.

Flangelo frowned. “We'll just talk when you're done hiding.”

“So we're dead no matter what.” Simon gulped. “Flangelo, will you help us?”

Flangelo sadly shook his head. “Sorry, Keeper Junior. I'm no fighter. I was just a graduate student before I joined the Order, and now, I turn into a sparrow. I chirp, I fly, I chat with birds. Ooooh, scary me.”

Owen groaned loudly. “We're-dead-we're-so-dead-it's-all-over.”

“This Sirabetta woman is something else,” Flangelo said. “Nobody's ever done what she did.”

“What, turn invisible?” Alysha asked.

Flangelo let out a whistling laugh. “Invisible? Any Physics member with a good light formula can do that. The Bio folks have their own versions of camouflage, too. No, I meant the tattoos. As you surely know, formulas are imprinted into your brain so they can be triggered when needed. It's more instant than memory, even. Nobody but a Keeper should be able to write one down, much less tattoo it onto someone's skin. Plus, Sirabetta obviously has access to formulas from different Orders. She used Physics and Chemistry, and I'm pretty sure I saw some from Biology. That's not just dangerous; it should be impossible.”

Noticing the scared looks on the kids' faces, he cleared his throat. “Look, I'm sure you'll be fine. You have the Book, you have the power; just prepare yourselves to fight the bad guys.” He pointed at Simon. “Next time, have your friends chip in with their formulas, too.”

“How?” Simon asked. “The Book's commands look like squiggles to them.”

“Of course.” Flangelo whistle-laughed. “The Book belongs to the Keeper; it's up to you to share the formulas.” He saw their expressions. “What, you thought I could just naturally turn into a bird? Bitten by a sparrow on the full moon and now I'm cursed to poop on the heads of those I love the most? Oh, children, stay away from the cartoons and
use
those noggins!”

Alysha raised an eyebrow. “Wait, what formula in biology deals with becoming a bird?”

“Biology isn't as clear-cut as Physics, so it's hard to explain,” Flangelo said. Seeing the kids staring at him expectantly, he coughed nervously. “It's basically evolution. In reverse. With a twist.” He paused. “It's technical. I don't want to have to explain all the mysteries of nature.”

Alysha turned to Simon. “He has no idea and doesn't want to look stupid.” She smirked. “Too late.”

Flangelo huffed. “Big deal—so I only know the basics of imprinting.”

Simon could barely contain his excitement. “So it's called imprinting?”

“You've got to show us how it works!” Alysha said.

Flangelo examined his fingernails. “And why should I? You've been anything but nice, and frankly, I
know
there'll be no fireball from Simple Simon over here.”

Alysha crossed her arms, her voice growing angry. “What do you want for it?”

Flangelo twittered. “Oh, wildcat, you'll never make a negotiator. You should be buttering me up, not going into diva mode.” He cleared his throat. “But it just so happens that I
do
need something. A place to roost.”

The kids looked at him blankly. “Oh, New Jersey, wherefore art thy dictionaries? Roost. Perch. Sleep.”

“Why do you need to roost here?” Simon asked.

“Because I'm not flying all the way back to Biology headquarters until I'm done with my investigation, and it's hard to hold on to a wallet when you turn into a bird. No dough, no hotel. Get it? I need a place to stay. I could sleep in a tree, but I'd prefer something four or five star. Preferably with room service and a view.”

“Flangelo, sixth graders don't bring home strangers to sleep on the couch,” Simon said. “Even
my
parents would notice that.”

“Hey, I didn't say it would be easy,” Flangelo chirped, “but that's my price.”

Simon paused to think. “Okay, I've got someplace you can stay. Now, tell us about imprinting.”

“It's simple, really. Gilio wrote out my formula with his Book's special pen on a normal piece of paper. He put my name on the page so I could read it, too; anybody else would just see squiggles. Once I read the formula over enough, it seeped into my mind. Now I can use it whenever I want. That's it.”

“Thank you,” Simon said. “Let me show you your roost.” He led Flangelo and his friends across the basement.

Most of the file cabinets lining the walls had labels with names like C
LIENTS
, P
ERSONAL
R
ECORDS
, D
ELIVERY
M
ENUS
, or L
ABEL
-M
AKING
C
OMPANIES
. But one thick and sturdy cabinet had no labels, just padlocks on each drawer.

Flangelo pointed to it. “What's in there, the Nixon tapes?” he asked.

“Who's Nixon?” Owen asked.

Flangelo shook his head. “I wouldn't want to overload your precious mental capacity, Toto.” He clapped twice. “
Garçon
, my room!”

“Who's
Garçon
?” Owen whispered to Alysha as Simon led them up the stairs. Alysha just shrugged.

On the ground floor, Simon brought them to the recreation room.

Flangelo smiled as he looked around at the overstuffed armchairs, the amply padded sofa, and the wide-screen television set. “My, what a comfy room. Splendid! I trust you have cable?”

“Yeah,” Simon said, “but it's not for you.” He pulled aside a heavy curtain and slid open the glass door behind it. He led Flangelo and his friends into the backyard.

“We had a deal!” Flangelo squawked.

“Yup.” Simon nodded. “And here you are, your own house.”

“A birdhouse?” Flangelo warbled.

Alysha and Owen burst out laughing. “Hey,” Simon said, “it's got a roof, plenty of space, and a great view of the garden. Roost away!”

Flangelo sighed. “Can I at least have a bite to eat?”

“I'm sure I can dig up something.” Simon dashed into the house and came back with a box of bread crumbs. He looked at the ingredients. “Good news: these are rosemary flavored!”

Flangelo turned into a bird and fluttered into the small, wooden house. His chirps sounded very angry.

Simon led Alysha and Owen into the house and closed the glass door. “That's done. So.” He looked at Owen. “I think we can agree there's no point in getting rid of the Book.”

Owen shook his head. “If they want us dead with or without it, then let's learn formulas and figure out how to protect ourselves.” He turned to Alysha. “Maybe if we all stick together, we can do it.”

Alysha smiled at him. It was probably the closest Owen would come to welcoming her aboard.

Simon held up the Book. “You know, choosing good formulas could take a while. This stuff is pretty complicated.”

“My sister Mona's in high school,” Alysha said. “She's taking physics now, and I'll bet she has one of those books of science for dummies.”

“You think?” Simon asked.

“Mona?” Alysha rolled her eyes. “Trust me, she needs it.”

“I don't even know if we should be going outside,” Simon said. “What if we run into Sirabetta and Mermon?”

“As long as we're careful, we'll be fine; they can't be everywhere,” Owen said.

“Whoa…listen to you!” Alysha said. “When did you get so brave?”

Owen laughed. “Are you kidding? I'm still scared of that bird guy! But if we get our own formulas, we can kick butt!”

They hurried through town, staying alert as they went. They cut through Town Plaza, the perfect place to avoid getting noticed by bad guys. It was the busiest part of Lawnville, especially on weekends; the kids would be hard to spot in the crowd.

“Hey, want to stop for a slice first?” Simon asked as they approached Nezzo's. “A snack to keep us fueled?”

Owen looked in through the big glass storefront and gasped. “No! Let's get out of here!” He leapt away from the window. Simon and Alysha ducked down.

“Is it them?” Simon hissed. “Mermon and Sirabetta?”

Owen shook his head. “Worse! Marcus, Barry, Rachelle—all of 'em!”

Alysha rolled her eyes. “Big deal.” She started to stand up. “You know, you really scared me.”

As she stood, Simon and Owen both said, “Stay down!”

“Alysha, trust me, Owen does not have an easy time with those guys,” Simon said in a quiet voice. “Please, just stay low.”

Alysha nodded, and Simon grabbed her arm to pull her past the window.

As they snuck by, none of them realized that Marcus had spotted them and was glaring.

Alysha led Owen and Simon out of Town Plaza and into her neighborhood. Soon she pointed to a big white house. “Here it is. Home sweet home.”

They followed Alysha in, down a hallway to a spacious TV room. Alysha's father was sitting there on a sofa. He looked up and smiled.

“Hi, honey. Good day?”

Alysha shrugged. “Same old, really. You remember Simon? And this is Owen. We're going to work on a project for science in the basement.”

Max Davis whistled. “On a Saturday, no less. I'm impressed.”

Alysha took them through the kitchen, where they grabbed snacks and drinks, and then brought them downstairs. Alysha ran back up while Owen and Simon oohed and aahed over the dartboard, billiards, and air hockey tables.

“Can we make this place our secret headquarters?” Owen asked when Alysha returned.

Alysha rolled her eyes. “Playtime's later, boys; I want to get cracking on this formula business. We're just lucky Mona isn't home.” She held up her sister's
Physics for the Doofus
book.

Simon pulled the Book out of his backpack and placed it on the wet bar. The Book, responding to his touch, opened its clasp with a click. Simon cleared his throat. “Hello, Book. I'd like to share some formulas with Alysha and Owen if that's okay with you.”

Alysha snickered. “Is that how you talk to it?”

Then Owen and Alysha gasped as the Book's cover flipped open by itself. Words, written in neat blue handwriting, appeared before their eyes.

Welcome, Keeper. Do you have paper?

Simon smiled proudly while Owen took a small step back. Alysha pulled a stack of paper out of a nearby drawer.

The Book apparently sensed this because another message appeared.
Unlike the Keeper, Alysha and Owen may only have one formula each for now. Choose carefully. Also remember, Outsider science books are not completely accurate about the true laws.

The pen rose up from the cover, making Alysha's and Owen's jaws drop.

“Thanks, Book,” Simon said, giving its spine a gentle stroke. It wiggled contentedly. He took the pen and turned to Alysha and Owen. “So, what part of the universe do you guys want to control?”

They took their time, paging through the various chapters in
Physics for the Doofus
and checking them against the chapters in the
Teacher's Edition
. The Book had commands for everything in
Physics for the Doofus
and much more. There were even entire sections that
Physics for the Doofus
was missing.

Plus, the
Teacher's Edition
had different, deeper information about various laws and formulas. Alysha and Owen had a hard time understanding some of the material, much less deciding what they wanted to use.

“I think we can skip the really confusing chapters like ‘Quantum Physics' and `Theoretical Physics,'” Simon said. “Why not look for something that can be used as both an offense and a defense?”

“I've got it!” Alysha said. “The perfect thing, especially for what's his name…Mermon Veenie.” She pointed to a paragraph. “Capacitance. It's all about how much electricity an object can store up. I think I'll be like a superbattery. I should be able to absorb Veenie's lightning so he can't blow us up.”

Simon pointed to some squiggles in the Book. “It says here that electrical power can be found in almost everything; something about moving electrons around. It goes on and on about atoms, too. But according to this, you can also control current. When you learn these symbols, you won't just be a battery, you'll be able to release the energy! You'll be like an electric eel. Except not in the water.”

“And with arms and legs,” Owen added with a smile. Alysha rolled her eyes.

Using the Book's pen, Simon copied the proper command words onto a sheet of paper. Alysha stared at it blankly.

“Oops, forgot,” Simon said. He wrote Alysha's full name on the top of the page, and it glowed bright blue for a second before becoming normal ink.