The Great Leader (6 page)

Sunderson sat under a pergola on the hotel lawn, the official smoking area, and read the faxes with growing anger. He had no idea how many cult members had taken out home equity loans before the current financial plummet and turned the money over to Dwight. Mona had also discovered that Dwight had taken a Rent-a-Jet from Choteau to Albuquerque and then to Tucson for the exorbitant total of twenty thousand dollars. Mona had also written that Dwight had purchased five hundred peyote buttons in New Mexico. She found this out by prying into Queenie's checking account, which used a simpleminded code for peyote. Sunderson thought idly that he might turn over this information to the DEA but then they were too busy tracking shipments of heroin and cocaine from Mexico to be interested in this peripheral drug mostly used by the Native American church, a widespread religious organization among Indians, and besides the DEA would be interested in where he got the information. He suspected that law enforcement agencies would be wise to hire world-class hackers like Mona and probably some of them had already done so.

Mona had sent him MapQuest directions to his mother's house but he was inattentive when he reached Green Valley which, all in all, was rather brownish. On the drive down on 19 through Papago property he had been mystified and captivated by the weird flora, the saguaro, cholla, paloverde, and the spiny ocotillo. Sunderson wasn't a traveler, another sore point in his marriage. Other than a long flight to Frankfurt for army hospital work he had only been west of the Mississippi once and then only briefly to Denver to retrieve an extradited prisoner. He was somehow pleased to note that the Rocky Mountains looked fake. Southern Arizona was another matter mostly because Marion had loaned him a book about the Apaches called
Once They Moved Like the Wind,
which left him with the obvious conclusion that the Apaches were the hardest hombres in the history of mankind. Dwight and his followers were unlikely to ape such a recalcitrant tribe, preferring “nicer” Indians.

His mother's house was a small stucco bungalow right next to a large home owned by his sister Berenice and her husband Bob whom Sunderson considered a nitwit, albeit a wealthy nitwit, having managed to acquire a dozen RV parks. Bob's Cadillac Escalade was parked out front, sixty grand worth of nothing and Sunderson had the irrational urge to ram it with his Avis compact but then giggled at the impulse like a child.

He was barely in the front door before his mother hissed, “Shame on you, son.” She was seated on the sofa wrapped in her wildly colored macramé throw, the air conditioner on so high on this warm day that she needed the blanket's warmth. Berenice had given her a home permanent and her hair was such tightly wrapped white nubs that her pinkish knobby skull was revealed. “You have disgraced our family, son.”

“Mom, you have no idea of the tensile strength of some women there. They go to the gym every day. She had me in a bear hug.”

“From what I heard in e-mail and on the phone you were behind her in plain view.” His mom was smug with self-righteousness.

“The night was black and cold and snowing. No one could see a thing. I was carried away with passion.” Sunderson had decided that a strong offensive was best and could see that his mother had become doubtful in her attack posture.

“We're having your favorite chicken and biscuits,” ­Berenice interrupted.

“Darrell Waltrip is kicking ass,” Bob said, turning from his NASCAR event on the television, then noticing Sunderson. “There's room for you in the company,” he added.

Sunderson sat down beside his mother and took her stiff hand. She turned away, still unwilling to let him off the hook.

“I e-mailed Diane and you can tell she's upset about your behavior.”

Sunderson tried to imagine the language his mother had used to describe his behavior to Diane, and then Diane's trilling laughter when she read the e-mail. Berenice brought him a stiff whiskey on the rocks for which he was grateful. He spilled a little when Bob bellowed, “Waltrip won!”

Sunderson ate too much of the stewed chicken and biscuits but then so did everyone else. His mother dozed off at the table after her last bite of lemon meringue pie. Looking at her he dwelt on the mystery of her giving birth to him sixty-five years before.

“She's not doing too well. Her heart is weak,” ­Berenice said, clearing the table. “And you look like you could use a vacation. Couldn't you go fishing someplace down in Mexico?”

“He could start work tomorrow,” Bob piped up, finishing his second piece of pie and rubbing his tummy as if he had accomplished something noteworthy.

He had left his cell phone in the car and noted that Diane had called for “no reason,” or so she said in her message. He called back before he got on the freeway back to Tucson. While they talked he watched an octogenarian shuffling down the street with his walker. Sunderson resolved to shoot himself in the head before he would live in a retirement colony. Diane joked about his “scandalous missteps” with Carla. She had always been amused rather than judgmental about human foibles, but then her voice weakened and she said that two days before her husband had been diagnosed with liver cancer. Since he was a doctor himself he had become immediately depressed about the inevitable prognosis. “I'm so sorry,” Sunderson offered. “Things had been going so well,” she said before hanging up. She had only been married half a year.

Heading north on the freeway he saw clearly again that like so many his marriage, the central fact of his life, had failed because the marriage and the job didn't go together, couldn't coalesce, couldn't coexist in a comfortable manner. The simple fact was that when you worked all day monitoring the least attractive behavior of the species you're going to carry the job home. Diane, a very bright woman indeed, couldn't believe in the fact of evil, which always reminded him of Anne Frank's deranged statement that people were essentially good. If you're a cop long enough even songbirds are under suspicion. The daily involvement with minor league mayhem did not predispose one to large thoughts. His brain short-circuited again. His unused first name, Simon, only served to remind him of the Mother Goose verse, “Simple Simon met a pieman going to the fair.” He signed his name S. Sunderson and no one he knew had the guts to call him Simon, except his mother. In his childhood any grade school boy that used Simon got his ass kicked while the girls tortured this sore point as did his sisters Berenice and Roberta. The family called Roberta “Bertie” because of the eccentricity of his parents calling the little brother Robert who had been the family's long-term headache until he died of heroin in Detroit where he was the soundman for a Motown band. When Robert was a boy he'd had a terrible accident at the big saw at the pulp mill and Sunderson and the rest had all stood in a circle looking at Robert's lower leg on the railroad siding. When the ambulance came the driver put the appendage in a small burlap bag. This item was large in Sunderson's accretion of emotional mold.

When he reached the Arizona Inn in the twilight he saw that Diane's near doppelganger was sitting near the vacant Ping-Pong table under the smoking cupola. He barely had the courage but joined her and was rewarded with a broad smile. This made him happily nervous so he lit a cigarette. To his surprise she lit one of her own.

“I rarely smoke but at dinner I had an argument with my mother. I'm fifty-five and she's eighty but she tried to make me eat my spinach.” She laughed at the absurdity.

“I had an argument with mine, too,” he admitted.

“About what?”

“I misbehaved at my retirement party in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and the news reached her by phone and e-mail all the way out here.”

“What did you do?”

“It's too indelicate to admit.” He felt himself blush.

“Please. I'm an Episcopalian but I'm an adult. I want to hear some naughty talk,” she laughed.

“I sort of made love to a dancing girl out by a woodpile. There were witnesses looking out the window of the cabin.” He was pained to admit this but he liked the fullness of the laughter that ensued.

“You
sort of
made love! What did your mother say?”

“She said shame on you son.”

More laughter and Sunderson leafed through a large book she was looking at. It was a coffee table book about petroglyphs in the Southwest.

“That's wonderful. My name's Lucy. My mother served spinach, a vegetable I hate, at my birthday dinner. Maybe you're like Kokopele, a mythic Indian with a fondness for ladies?” She showed him a petroglyph of Kokopele, the humpbacked flute player. The light was growing dim and she invited him to join her for coffee and a brandy. He followed her on a longish walk through gardens past rooms and bungalows a little worried that he wouldn't find his way back to his room, which he saw as a deliciously childish worry.

“Keep your hands off, buster. I'm happily married,” she said at the door.

“I'm not happily divorced,” he replied.

He wondered where her bed was because he was standing in an elegant living room with a couple of Chinese screens while she called room service. He had never felt so far away from the Upper Peninsula except maybe at a Frankfurt whorehouse forty years before.

“My parents were friends of the owner and used to stay here so my dad reserves the same room for me.”

They sat at a table slowly turning the pages of the petroglyph book. He had seen a similar book at Marion's house but had never bothered taking a look. When the room service waiter came he called her “Mrs. Caulkins.” Sunderson noted her conversation style was very much like Diane's, light and deferential with an occasional edge of the abrasive. She spoke of the drawings on stone as the “roots of religion,” also “totemistic,” a word Marion used. She drank her large brandy more quickly than he did.

“My mother is making me gulp. Why are you on edge?”

“I didn't think it showed.”

“It does. You're like my husband when he heard he was going to be audited by the IRS.”

“I retired two days ago and I already feel a little useless.” He was hesitant at first but then went ahead and explained his recent life including the Great Leader, Dwight. With a bit of probing on her part he added the reasons for the divorce.

“I've seen that a half dozen times. A couple begins quite romantically doing a lot of things together and then it begins to die if the man becomes overabsorbed in his work. It can go the other way. A friend of mine started working in an animal shelter and found it more interesting than taking care of her husband who was anyway less than fascinating. Another friend saw her kids off to college and then went back to finishing her nursing degree. Now she's a surgical nurse and lives in New York City and her husband is still down the road from us in Bedford wondering what hit him.”

Sunderson was looking down at the beautiful table before them feeling the full impact of his own shabbiness. His desk at the office had always been the most grungy of any of his colleagues with its accumulated gummy spilled coffee, dust, and scraps of paper. Roxie had never been permitted to touch the desk or he might lose track of what he comically called “important papers.” Now he thought of the old saying
pigs love their own shit
as he looked down at the finely made table and the frayed, soiled cuffs of his sport coat. There was a longish, more than awkward silence as if they were both asking themselves, “Why are we depressing each other?”

“Marriages get moldy real slowly,” he said, then paused to take out the flask of whiskey from his coat pocket. She nodded and he poured into their empty brandy glasses thinking that she had likely never drunk cheap whiskey. Sure enough she winced at her first sip.

“My God what is this, paint thinner?” She laughed and took another sip. “Sorry, I interrupted you.”

“I was saying that marriages slowly get moldy and then are no longer mutually vital. You just keep dancing the same polka steps.”

“I never danced the polka. We fox-trotted out East or waltzed.”

“I could show you but I'm sure that Tucson is not a polka town. Anyway, we had a lot of fun camping in the summers in our twenties and thirties. It's wonderful to make love in a tent. In the winter we'd do a lot of cross-country skiing. When we got into our forties we stopped doing both. In the summer we'd rent a cabin, which wasn't the same as a tent, and in the winter we'd vegetate.”

He had made himself nervous and finished his ample whiskey in a single gulp. He could no longer bear her nominal resemblance to Diane and imagined her living in a colonial house with daffodils in the yard in the New York City suburb of Bedford. He got up to leave.

“Please don't go just yet.” Her eyes seemed to be misting and her voice was less strong. “When you spoke about your new hobby of investigating the crime of religion, I found myself agreeing intellectually but emotionally I have to protect my own religion. We lost our baby girl, our first child, Lucy, when she was five months to a defective heart. My husband insisted she be called after me because he loved the name Lucy. Probably because of dreams I had the irrational belief that my little daughter became a bird and that her soul passes through generations of birds. I even became a bird-watcher though I had never much noticed them before Lucy's death. We raised a son and a daughter but with them my feelings were never as intense as they were with Lucy. We knew that we were going to lose her for three months but I never accepted it.”

“We never got beyond a couple of miscarriages,” Sunderson said lamely. He began to finally feel the extreme fatigue of having awakened at three a.m. and also a niggling twinge of desire for her. It seemed crazed that he could hear this terrifying loss and it made him want to make love to the mother. He remembered that Diane, who knew so many nurses in her work as a hospital administrator, had said that they tended to be very sexually active because they're around death so much. “At least fucking stands for life,” she had said, shocking him because it was the only time in their marriage she had used the word.