R
OBERTO
clung to her hand as Jeannine walked alongside the gurney to the OR. Images she tried to suppress of her own recent trips to the OR attempted to insinuate themselves into her mind, but she forced them back. Now was not the time for a trip down the memory lane from hell.
Miklo bent over the stretcher. He had quickly changed into OR scrubs and a bandanna-style head cover. Reaching into his pocket, he retrieved a toy race car and placed it in Roberto’s hand, curving the little boy’s fingers around it.
“What do you have there?” she asked.
“Just a little something for him to hold.” Miklo shrugged and offered a quick smile. “I’ve found that children do better with some little token that they hold through procedures. Officially, it’s called a transitional object, but I just like to call it a car.” He shrugged, seeming to dismiss the idea.
Jeannine smiled. “That’s a great bit of insight.” She leaned over and stroked Roberto’s hair back from the bandages on his face. “I should have thought of that.”
“It’s not a big deal,” he said.
“Really, it is. Not everyone would go to such lengths to see to the comfort of their patients. Especially the little ones.”
“It’s just a toy car…”
“That will go a long way to keeping Roberto’s stress level down.” She looked at the little car clutched in the bruised fingers. “I could have used one myself not long ago.”
Miklo watched as her mind seemed to wander a bit. What could she have meant by that comment? Observing the slight tremor of her hand, he guessed that it had something to do with the recent change in status she had alluded to yesterday. But it was none of his business. Getting overly involved with staff members’ lives wasn’t part of his job.
He had enough on his plate trying to live with the guilt that still plagued him daily. Taking care of patients and running his practice was all he could handle. Every time he handed a car to a child he was reminded of how he had failed in his life, how he had neglected his pregnant wife when she had needed him most, and of the child that would never be.
Jeannine’s soft hand on his arm startled him from his haunted memory. Looking up, he met her concerned aqua gaze. “Sorry?”
“I said, ‘Are you okay?’” she said, and removed her hand.
Miklo rubbed a hand down over his face. “Lost myself there for a moment. Let’s get this boy inside, shall we?”
“Of course,” Jeannine said, and watched as the man strode to the scrub sink.
After he turned away, a woman dressed in green scrubs approached Jeannine. “I’m Dr. Harrison, anesthesia.”
“Hi. I’m a little lost as to what to do next,” Jeannine said.
Dr. Harrison picked up a syringe and administered medication of some sort into the IV tubing. In seconds, Roberto was completely under. “He’ll sleep now,” Dr. Harrison said, and started to push the gurney down the hall. “Are you coming inside with him?”
“Dr. Kyriakides asked me to come along for emotional support.” Jeannine didn’t know quite how much support she was really going to be able to give Roberto, but she would try her best. No one should go through this situation alone.
“Well, he knows what he’s doing, so if he’s asked you along, there’s good reason for it. Let’s go inside and get him hooked up to my monitors.”
They walked by as Miklo stood at the sink, performing his intensive hand and arm scrub. Even in simple green scrubs and a tied hair cover, Miklo would have commanded the attention of every woman in the area. The simplicity of his attire peeled away everything except the man. He didn’t draw attention to himself intentionally, but something about him drew her to him, and she shivered, trying to resist the whisper of attraction that swept over her. Attraction was what had gotten her into trouble in the first place. She didn’t need a repeat of that disaster.
As if sensing her gaze, or perhaps he had heard the gurney, Miklo turned toward her. His brown gaze met hers, and she held her breath for a second, startled at the intensity of his stare. He was serious, intense, and focused. Only a nod acknowledged her, but that simple gesture released her.
“Here. You can sit by me,” Dr. Harrison said, and pulled a low stool beside her at the head of the bed. OR techs worked on setting up the sterile environment and covered most of the bed with large blue drapes. “Miklo will be close to us, but you’ll be out of his way here.”
“Thank you,” Jeannine said, and sat, relieved to have something solid to hold her up.
Then Miklo entered, covered in sterile garb. He used his foot to scoot a low stool close beside Jeannine. Looking at her through the protective goggles, he gave her a wink of reassurance. “Are you ready?” he asked.
“Never further from it,” she said, admitting her insecurity aloud. She’d discovered recently that admitting fears aloud often took the power right out of them. “I’ve had a lot of new experiences lately. What’s one more?”
“Glad to hear it.” Miklo looked at the rest of the staff members. “Everyone else ready?”
Nods all around seemed to satisfy Miklo, and he pulled the gauze away from Roberto’s face.
Despite the gasp that wanted to escape her throat, she was fascinated by the whole operative process. “May I ask questions while you work or will it be too distracting?” she asked in a whisper.
“Ask away. This is a teaching hospital. If the doctors
don’t teach something every day we’re not allowed to come back,” Miklo said without looking up.
This time she did gasp, and her eyes widened. “Are you serious?” she asked, then immediately bit her lip. She’d fallen for that one without even looking.
Miklo turned amused eyes on her for a second. “No. You seemed a bit tense. I just wanted to shake you up a little bit.”
“Well, you certainly did that.” She rubbed her nose and tried to calm the flutters in her stomach. “Just for that, you have to answer all my questions.”
“Fire away.”
Jeannine watched Miklo’s gentle hands work their magic over Roberto’s small broken face. Wires and pins were added to keep the fractures stable, but thankfully his little jaw didn’t have to be wired closed. She asked questions through the procedure, but mostly watched. “This is just fascinating,” she said.
“Make you want to be a surgeon now?”
“Hardly.” She almost snorted. “Just gives me a greater appreciation of what you do. And of how fragile we all are.”
After completing the last delicate suture, he snipped the end and turned to her. “Thank you, Jeannine.”
A blush flashed over her face and neck. “You’re welcome.”
After six hours of surgery, Miklo was glad to be rid of the stifling sterile garb, and he took a deep, cleansing breath. Jeannine walked beside Roberto to the PACU,
the post-anesthesia care unit, just outside the OR. Despite not being her area of expertise, she had held up well under the pressure of surgery.
“Are you okay?” he asked Jeannine, and touched her arm. Her skin was soft and he pulled his hand back, resisting the urge to let his hand linger there. Touching a woman had once been something he had done often every day, but since his wife had died, the urge to reach out had faded away.
“Yes, yes, I’m fine. That was just a marvelous experience. To see a case from start to finish is a fabulous opportunity. Thank you for including me.” She stood beside Roberto’s bed as the other nurses set up the monitoring equipment. “Should I return to the PICU or should I stay with Roberto?”
“I’ll call Arlene and see if I can keep you here. When Roberto’s recovered enough from the anesthesia, you can follow him back to the unit. It will be a well-rounded day for you then. He’ll need to remain intubated for a while so that the stitches can heal a bit. The sound of your voice will be a comfort for him.” The sound of her soothing voice was a small comfort to him, too, after such a long procedure. The rigors of surgery had always invigorated him until the last few years. Listening to Jeannine’s voice during the procedure had somehow prevented that fatigue from overcoming him. Perhaps her presence wasn’t a comfort to Roberto only.
“I never thought of my voice as a comfort, but I suppose it’s the familiarity of it more than anything, isn’t it?”
Jeannine touched her throat in a gesture of which she was completely unaware. Miklo followed the direction of her hand. He noticed a distinctive, tell-tale scar, and he frowned, his curiosity roused as he observed the pink tissue that hadn’t fully healed. “You are quite right. Your instincts are very good for this sort of work.”
“Will he continue to be sedated so he’s not feeling choked by the tube?”
She dropped her hand, and he examined the scar as unobtrusively as possible. It was definitely a tracheotomy scar that marred the beauty of her otherwise flawless skin. “Yes. He’ll have to stay in the PICU at least for tonight, possibly a few days, while he’s monitored.”
The look in her eyes seemed far off, as if she were looking elsewhere. Maybe she was. Who knew? And was it any of his business why she had a scar? Life was full of people who carried scars, inside and out. And he was one of them. With a mental sigh, he decided he needed something to distract himself from his thoughts. The direction they were headed wasn’t going to be helpful for anyone. Work was his life, his passion, and something he needed to keep his black emotions at bay. Indulging in self-defeating behavior wasn’t something he was going to do.
“Do you need a drink of water, or something to eat? For someone not used to surgery, it can be tough the first time.”
“A cup of coffee would be wonderful.” She flashed a smile. “And a bathroom break,” she whispered, and crossed her eyes briefly.
Miklo almost laughed at her antics. He could appreciate her position. She hadn’t had a break since she had walked in the PICU this morning. For that matter, neither had he.
“Come on. I need a cup of coffee, too.” He glanced at the clock on the wall. “The canteen is open. Let’s get lunch and have a real break. Roberto will be fine for a little while.”
Since entering medicine as his father and three brothers had, he’d been focused on his career, with little time for anything else. Every beat of his heart revolved around the hospital. Time with family, stolen moments, and rare evenings off were cherished. Three years ago his family had picked him up from the most painful experience in his life. Now they seemed to have moved on, leaving him to his own devices. He knew it was his fault, but he couldn’t seem to function outside his comfort zone of the medical world. This was his life and others depended on him. That’s what he kept telling himself, what he needed to believe, or he would be on his knees from unimaginable pain and guilt. He had to believe that his time here was not wasted. That he hadn’t sacrificed his family for nothing.
A group of four nervous-looking interns dashed past them on the way out of the canteen. One of them bumped Miklo’s shoulder and brought him back to the present.
“I’ll be right back. You go ahead,” Jeannine said, and ducked into the ladies’ room. In moments she returned with a smile lighting up her face. Finely arched
brows over a pair of eyes the color of the sea, her smile seemed to shine just for him, and he took a quick breath.
“You were right, I needed this more than I realized.” She filled a large disposable cup with coffee, added a little sugar and milk, stirred, then placed a lid on it. “Thank you.”
“No problem.” He fixed his own cup of coffee and followed her to the grill. After obtaining their orders, they sat at a small table and ate. Miklo took a few bites of his sandwich, then placed it on the plate.
“Not good?” she asked.
Uncomfortable with the question, Miklo shifted position. “I don’t know how to answer that without sounding completely biased.” He picked up the sandwich again, but didn’t eat.
“Oh, do try,” she said with narrowed eyes that sparkled with mischief.
He sighed and leaned forward. “Okay, so I’m half Greek, half Mexican. My uncle owns the best restaurant in town. After eating that kind of food all of my life, a simple sandwich from the hospital grill just doesn’t cut it sometimes. Know what I mean?”
“I can appreciate your position, but as I’ve never eaten Greek food, I can’t pass judgment on you.” She took a bite of her sandwich, seemingly not bothered.
Miklo shot forward in his seat, incredulous. “Are you kidding? You’ve
never
eaten Greek food?” He leaned back and placed a hand over his eyes. “Woman, you have no idea what you are missing.” He shook his head in amazement.
“Well, maybe some day you can show me.” She laughed and took another bite.
“You’re on,” he said, just as his pager went off.
“I
THINK
we’re due back in PACU. And Arlene will think I’ve kidnapped you or scared you off completely.”
“Oh, she knows it will take more than something like this to scare me off.” Jeannine walked beside him as they returned to the PACU.
“You’ve been a nurse for a while then?” he asked, and held open the door to the stairwell.
“Yes. I think I’ve worn out fourteen pairs of nursing shoes in the last ten years.”
“That’s a lot of miles.” He opened the doors to the PACU for her, his stride so long she had to lengthen hers to keep pace with him.
“I’ve heard someone say it’s not the miles but the
mileage
that gets to you.”
Startled by that insightful comment, Miklo sighed. “I’ll go along with that,” he said, thinking of the emotional mileage he’d incurred over the last few years.
“I’m sure you’ve put on a few miles yourself between medical school, residency and your hospital practice.”
“Yes. Seems like I’ve been walking the same one over and over sometimes.”
Before she could respond to that, they arrived at the PACU, and the friendly camaraderie between them faded a little. In this environment the expectations were different. She suddenly didn’t feel as open with him as she had in the canteen when it had just been the two of them at a small table. Oh, well. Not a time to get curious about the medical director.
Two hours passed before the anesthesiologist declared Roberto responsive enough to be transported to the pediatric ICU. Jeannine assisted the PACU nurse to hook up transport monitors and together they moved him upstairs. Although Roberto was not under the influence of the heavier medications any longer, Miklo’s instructions were to keep him slightly sedated.
Arlene appeared at the doorway of Roberto’s room. “Jeannine, are you okay?” she asked, concern in her voice.
“Oh, yes. This has been a fabulous experience,” she said, and placed a small blood-pressure cuff onto Roberto’s arm.
“I was going to get angry with Miklo if he scared you off on your second day on the job.” She moved closer and gave Jeannine a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder.
“You worry too much. Really. I sat through the operation and then had something to eat, so it’s been a surprisingly good day.”
“Good.” Arlene placed a hand on her chest in obvious relief.
“What’s good?” Miklo asked as he entered the small patient room. Everything in it was designed for children, and with Miklo’s large presence everything seemed to shrink even more.
“Jeannine was just telling me you hadn’t frightened her out of the job today, and I said that was good.”
“She’s been a trouper. But she kidnapped my patient,” he said, and faced Jeannine.
“I did not! Dr. Harrison said he was able to go to PICU, so the PACU nurse called—”
Miklo gave a quick laugh.
“Miklo, stop teasing,” Arlene said, and glanced at Jeannine. “You can sue him for harassment if you like. I’ll be a witness.” Arlene shook her head and left the room.
“You’re not very nice to tease me so many times in one day, Doctor.” Jeannine pulled out a clipboard with Roberto’s chart and began to record his vital signs.
“I have to. Once you’ve been here a while you’ll be too smart to fall for my little tricks.”
Jeannine double-checked Roberto’s IVs and the ventilator settings, made sure of the security of the tube in his mouth that assisted his breathing. Distracting herself from the appeal of Miklo was extremely important at the moment. Though she had recently suffered the biggest letdown of her life when her fiancé had deserted her, she suddenly found herself being pulled against her will toward Miklo. She mustn’t allow herself to be drawn to him. That path only led to self-destruction. Once was enough for her.
“Jeannine? You got very quiet there for a minute. I
hope that I haven’t offended you with my comments.” Miklo took a step toward her, concern in his eyes. “I really was just teasing.”
Jeannine swallowed hard as he reached up and removed the cover from his hair, allowing it to fall back over his collar. The dark, luxurious locks fell down in disarray that didn’t impair his looks at all. The man was devastating to her senses, and he didn’t even know it.
“No.” She offered him a smile that was extremely lame. “I’m fine. Just been a long day, you know? Been a long day for you, too, I’m sure. Have anything fun planned for the weekend?” Jeannine asked and busied her fingers writing down vital signs she didn’t really need.
“Me?” Miklo snorted. “Hardly.” He held his hands out, indicating the area around them. “This is my life. Fun doesn’t enter into it.” Taking the stethoscope from around his neck, he listened to Roberto’s lungs.
“I have a hard time believing that you don’t have anything better to do than to hang around here all weekend. Don’t have you have anything to keep you busy?” she asked. She had noticed the absence of a wedding band, but these days that didn’t mean much.
“No.” Now was not the time to tell her he’d given up his life for his family, entirely too late. “How about you?”
“I might get out and take a hike or go to an art show or exhibition. There’s a bunch of stuff going on this weekend. You should try it.”
“Thanks, but I’m more of a museum kind of guy.”
“Really? Why is that?” Jeannine asked. He looked more like a museum guy than a craft show kind of
person, but you never knew from looking at a person what they were like inside.
“You can sit in a museum and look at things that don’t talk back to you and rarely have a crisis,” he said, and picked up Roberto’s chart.
“That’s true, but I like being around people, too.” Jeannine wasn’t convinced by his philosophy. Sometimes people needed to interact with each other, rather than just watching life go by. Being alone for too long had made her desperate for company over the last six months.
Miklo rubbed the day-long growth on his face. He smiled a little crookedly in a gesture she was beginning to associate with him. His full mouth moved slightly to one side, but failed to form a complete smile. “My day doesn’t end when the surgery does. There is always much more to do before I leave.” Again he looked around them at the PICU.
“You’d rather go home and have a cold beer, right?” she asked.
Miklo laughed out loud. “You are exactly right. For tonight, though, I’ll turn things over to the intensivist on call.” He grabbed his labcoat from the back of the chair and headed toward the door. “Are you ready to go, too?” he asked, and paused at the doorway.
“Yes. I just need to give the night nurse report on what I’ve done, then I’ll head out. Have a good night and it was a pleasure working with you today.”
“Same here.”
Jeannine gathered the chart and headed to the nurses’ report room.
Just as she left, several family members came in to see Roberto. Miklo explained how the surgery had gone and what the boy’s condition was. By the time he was through answering their questions, Jeannine had returned to the room. She gave Roberto’s face one last stroke. “I’ll be back in the morning,” she said.
“Aren’t you off tomorrow?” he asked, surprised that she would be working her first weekend on the job.
“I am, but I want to come in to see him anyway.” She shrugged and looked away from his vibrant eyes. They saw way too much of the things she carefully guarded. Things that no one here knew about her.
“I’ll walk you out, then,” he said, and slowed his long stride to match hers.
They approached the front door of the hospital and emerged into the early evening twilight. The sun setting over the west mesa cast a muted peach glow low on the horizon. Not a cloud marred the distant sky for miles. Purple hues blended atop the other colors and melded into the approaching evening.
Jeannine cleared her throat and shifted her weight from one foot to another. “Well, good night, Doctor.”
“Miklo, remember?”
“Yes. It’s just hard to get used to change isn’t it? I’m so used to addressing physicians by their titles.”
“I wasn’t always a doctor. Sometimes when I’m addressed as Dr. Kyriakides, I think people are talking to my father.”
“Does your father practice here in Albuquerque?” she asked.
“Yes, but he’s partially retired. Somehow he found the right balance between the obsession of medicine and having a life outside his work.”
“But you haven’t?” she asked, somehow feeling brave enough to ask the question of him.
“No,” he said, and looked away from her. “I haven’t.”
“I’m sorry if I’ve probed too far, Miklo.” She sighed, hoping she hadn’t just ruined her work relationship with him by asking one question too many.
“It’s okay.” He turned to face her again, took a step forward, but hesitated. “You wouldn’t want to go have that beer with me tonight, would you?” he asked, uncertainty in his eyes.
Surprised, Jeannine could hardly believe she heard him correctly. “Sorry?”
“I asked if you wanted to grab a beer with me. You’re off tomorrow, I’m off duty now, and we could both use the break after the day we’ve had.”
It was a reasonable suggestion, wasn’t it? Just two co-workers relaxing together. “Sure, why not?” Jeannine said. The words were out of her mouth before she had time to think.
“How about Olympia’s? It’s my uncle’s place and it’s close.”
“Sure. You know I’ve never been there, so I’m open to another new adventure today.” There wasn’t time to get used to one thing before she had another new thing in front of her today. But, then, there was no time to be scared or say no, was there?
“Why don’t I drive and you can relax on the way
over?” he asked, and led her to his car. It was a sleek, silver Jaguar convertible.
Jeannine stopped short. “I don’t think I can relax in a car like that.”
“Come on, it’s just a car,” he said, and opened the door for her. But as she sank into the soft leather seat, she knew it was far from it. This was luxury like she’d never known or ever thought to indulge in. When Miklo folded himself into the vehicle, she shrank back a little, not accustomed to being so close to a man. Not for a long time. And not with someone as vibrant and alive as Miklo was. He breathed energy and life into everything he did. Being so close to someone who exuded that kind of energy was almost intoxicating.
He started the powerful engine and let it idle a moment before shifting into gear. They remained silent as Miklo maneuvered the car through the university area and found a parking place about a block away from Olympia’s.
Jeannine stayed close to Miklo in the near dark of the street until they were in front of the Greek restaurant. “Ready?” Miklo asked.
Jeannine nodded.
He opened the door and allowed her to enter ahead of him. Somehow a table had been crammed into every available spot, but with enough room left for the troupe of dancers working their way around the room.
“Oh, my!” Jeannine said, and turned back to Miklo. His presence so close unnerved her, but she didn’t know where to go inside. “I’ve never seen so many people in
one place before,” she said, practically shouting over the boisterous music and conversations. “This isn’t against the fire code, is it?”
“Come on.” Miklo grinned and took her hand in his as they worked their way through the crowd. “I forgot this is Greek Week at the university. It’s absolute madness,” he said close to her ear, and she shivered as his lips touched her skin. “Plus, it’s Friday night. We’ll find a spot, though.”
Jeannine nodded as they plowed their way through the throng of people. She clasped Miklo’s hand tightly, not wanting to lose him in the crowd. And she liked the feel of his hand tight around hers, the feel of his long fingers wrapped around her hand. A man hadn’t held her hand in a very long time, and the gesture of Miklo keeping her close made her remember things long ago and best forgotten.
“Miklo! Over here!” An older gentleman wearing a white apron and waving a bar towel gestured them toward the bar. “How are you, nephew?” he asked, kissing Miklo on both cheeks and giving him a hearty hug. “You’ve waited too long to come and see me. Your auntie misses you, too.”
“Yes, Uncle Seferino,” he said. “But how could you have missed me with all of these people to keep you busy?” Miklo embraced the man with great enthusiasm.
“Oh, the heart knows, my boy. The heart knows,” he said with a slight nod, and then his focus changed to Jeannine. Miklo introduced them. After welcoming Jeannine to his establishment, Seferino led them to the
bar and squished two stools together. “Make room for my famous nephew, the surgeon,” he said, and waved his hands to move people out of the way.
Though crowded, space opened up. Miklo assisted Jeannine onto a barstool and took the one beside her. He stiffened slightly as he brushed by her, and her fragrance filled his mind. Though the end of the workday, she smelled clean and fresh and very appealing. Squelching the sudden heat of desire down, he took a gulp of iced water that his uncle placed in front of him.
Uncle Seferino leaned over the bar. “What will you have, my dear?” he asked.
Jeannine glanced at Miklo. “We just came in for a beer.”
“Bah! You can’t survive on that, not with all the hard work you do,” he said, and reached beneath the bar and pulled out two long-necks anyway. “Christo!” he yelled in the general direction of the kitchen. “We need food for your cousin Miklo and his nurse. Make them something.”
Wide eyed, Jeannine reached for the beer and took a sip. Miklo reached for his as well, needing the refreshment the cold drink offered. “Don’t worry. He’s always like that.” Speaking conversationally over the noise and music was impossible, and Miklo leaned closer to Jeannine to hear her response.
“I haven’t been in this sort of crowd since college. I’d kind of forgotten how loud a place like this can be.”
“Did you go to school here?” he asked.
“Yes, but I lived off campus. It was better that way. Not tempted to engage in much socializing.”
“I didn’t think that was possible in the first two years of college,” he said.
“Well, I was very shy and very serious back then.” She shook her head. It seemed like a lifetime ago.
“But not any more?” His gleaming eyes told her that he’d already formed an opinion about that.