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Authors: Iris Murdoch

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BOOK: The Green Knight
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‘Well, my friends, this is Mr Peter Mir, who is as you see alive and well, much to the relief of Lucas, and of all of us I feel sure, and he has kindly expressed the wish to come here, and Louise has kindly invited us all, to say a friendly hello and make acquaintance, and we, do we not, welcome him and are happy to celebrate with him his wonderful return to health.' Clement, usually a fluent speaker in any situation, could hear his voice assuming a pompous and affected tone, not unlike that which many actors use (wrongly in Clement's view) when playing Polonius.
There was a pause; then someone, Clement was not sure at the time (in fact it was Tessa), out of nervousness and to end the silence or else (Clement later supposed) in mockery of his speech, began to clap. Everyone clapped. Mir bowed his head slightly, still frowning.
Louise hastily, so as to avoid another silence, said, ‘I think we might have some coffee, perhaps one of the girls – '
Mir, raising his hand, said, ‘Not yet, if you don't mind.' This remark had a chilling effect.
Clement said to Mir, ‘Perhaps we should let you know who we are – I suggest each one of us introduces himself, or herself. Is that a good idea? Suppose we start on the left on the floor. Suppose you start, Bellamy.'
Bellamy, surprisingly, said nothing. He just shook his head. Clement said quickly, ‘Tessa?'
Tessa, fingering her tie and using her slow deep voice, said, ‘My name is Tessa Millen. I am unmarried, I am a social worker and a feminist. Let me say how interested I am to meet Mr Mir, and I congratulate him on being alive.'
‘I'm sure we all do that,' said Clement.
‘I should add,' Tessa continued, ‘that I am not a member of the family. Neither is this gentleman at my feet who refuses to speak.'
‘Joan?' said Clement.
‘What family are we talking about?' said Joan. ‘I'm not a member of the family either, though my son Harvey over there thinks
he
is. I am no one in particular, just Harvey's mother.'
Sefton proceeded to say that she was a Miss Anderson and a student of history. Moy had some difficulty in describing herself beyond saying that she was a Miss Moira Anderson and a – well, sort of a – painter. Harvey said he was the aforementioned Harvey and a student of modern languages. Aleph, who was the first person to smile at Mir, said she was the eldest Miss Anderson and a student of English literature. Louise, also smiling, then felt bound to say that she was, as he knew, Mrs Anderson, she was the mother of the three girls, and her first name was Louise.
Clement said in a hearty voice, ‘Well done!'
After another, briefer, silence, Joan said, ‘Is this supposed to be a party? No one has told me, no one tells me anything, least of all Harvey. I suggest that rather than sitting mum like a prayer meeting we should all get up and mingle, and what about drinks? I agree with Mr Mir in not requiring coffee. Louise, can't you rouse out some sherry or something?'
This speech seemed to amuse Mir, who smiled. The children giggled. Louise said, a little sternly, ‘Later, Joan, later, we can have coffee and drinks, but we are doing all the talking, and I'm sure Mr Mir hasn't come here just to listen to our little speeches. Perhaps he would like to talk to us, to tell us something of his – his work, his ideas – '
‘What job do you do?' said Tessa.
Mir, after a deep breath, turning his big solemn face towards her, said, ‘I am, I was, a psychoanalyst. As I explained to Professor Graffe and his brother, I am no longer able to continue this work owing to a lack of concentration, the result of Professor Graffe's blow.'
Louise said in a surprised tone, ‘Oh, a psychoanalyst?' She added hurriedly in a sympathetic tone, ‘Of course you have been through a terrible time and suffered a terrible – you must have had – we sympathise very much – '
‘What was it like being dead?' said Joan. ‘Were you really dead? Well, you can't have been because here you are!'
‘I don't suppose Mr Mir remembers much,' said Louise, ‘perhaps he doesn't want to talk about it.'
‘I can't remember it,' said Mir. ‘I can't remember – many important things.'
‘Of course such experiences affect the memory,' said Louise.
She said to Clement, ‘Do you want to ask Mr Mir any questions, or tell us something about him? It must be quite an ordeal for him to confront us like this! We must not keep him with us too long or tire him out! Now, if he would like a little coffee, or if he prefers tea – '
‘I agree that we should not prolong this gathering,' said Clement, rising to his feet. ‘I'm sure we have all been very glad to see Mr Mir, who has had this miraculous recovery. He so kindly wished to show himself to us and to meet us all, and now we have had our little conversation – '
During these sympathetic exchanges Mir's frown, as he looked from one speaker to another, deepened, and his thick lips pouted with annoyance and distress. He looked, as Louise saw it and said later, as if he were thoroughly confused and upset and would soon have to be led quietly away.
Interrupting Clement's bland mollification, Tessa said, addressing Mir, ‘Did you try to steal money from Professor Graffe, or is that not true?'
Clement began, ‘Of course he didn't and now I think we had better – '
Mir said, his frown clearing and his mouth relaxing, ‘No I certainly did not try to steal anything from the Professor. I am not a thief or a violent person. In fact what I did do on that occasion was to save Clement's life, as I trust that he will now, in front of you all, confirm – '
Clement felt himself flushing violently, the heat running fiercely to his cheeks. He put his hand to his head, clutching his dark hair. The audience, silently embarrassed by Tessa's intervention, now shifted, looking anxiously at one another, then at Clement. Clement heard Louise murmur, ‘Poor fellow!' and then aloud, ‘Your memory of that terrible evening is naturally a bit confused. It is your own life which has been saved, not Clement's, after all he wasn't there!'
Mir, now patently clear-headed and master of the situation, said to Clement, ‘Were you there?'
Clement sat down. He looked intently at the questioner and made a supplicating gesture. He said softly, ‘
Please
, you are dreaming.'
Mir said, ‘These people are your friends. You need not fear them. What are you afraid of?' His tone seemed now slightly mocking.
‘Well, were you there?' said Tessa. ‘That's news to us!'
There was a moment's silence. Clement, blushing and sustaining Mir's gaze, said, ‘Of course not!'
There was a perceptible rustling in the room as everyone changed position, sat up, leaned forward, drew breath.
Louise said, ‘I think poor Mr Mir is having a fantasy, perhaps he thought he saw another man, he must be tired and ready to go home. Clement, perhaps you could drive him – or has he got his own car?'
‘I have my own car,' said Mir. Then to Clement, ‘Come, come. I think you should tell these good people the whole story. This is what I wanted, on this interesting occasion, in this so deeply concerned gathering, to hear Professor Graffe doing. However, since he has elected to be away, it may be better for you to do it. You are a truthful person, tell them the truth, the whole truth, now is the time.'
Clement was aware of having now reached the exact point at which, in his last conversation with Lucas, he had realised that he ought to
think
about what was going to happen at this scene, but had been
unable
to think and had
preferred
not to. He had imagined Lucas as,
somehow
, handling and conducting the whole horrible business. Now he saw himself as trapped, he had been trapped by Lucas, and was now trapped by Mir. He found himself thinking: what does Lucas want me to do? One thing, a terrible thing, seemed clear. He must
not admit
that he had been there. Mir's appeal to truth was in his ears. But, Clement thought, if I tell it
here
, later on
they
will get it all out of me. By ‘they' Clement meant, not his family, but the authorities, the lawyers, the police. He thought, all I can do is
appeal
to Mir, make him see the impossibility of my answering his question.
He said, ‘Mr Mir is a kind and honourable man,
not
a thief, or an aggressor. He is absolutely blameless. He has behaved bravely and nobly and virtuously throughout. Now I suggest that we close down this conversation, which he must have found extremely tiring – we thank him very much for coming to see us this evening.' There was a faint murmur of assent, then silence. Clement, who had risen, sat down again. Breathing deeply, he put his hand to his throat and looked at Louise's feet and her shoes.
Mir, who had been leaning forward, now leaned back. Gazing at Clement he searched slowly for a handkerchief, drew out a large one and unfolded it. He put the handkerchief to his mouth, pulled at his tie and undid a button on his waistcoat. He said to Clement, ‘You are a liar.'
The audience moved. Louise said, ‘No! Really – '
Clement said, ‘Look – '
Louise went on, speaking fast, to Mir, ‘You mustn't say such things. You are mistaken. He has said that you are blameless. What more do you want, what is he supposed to be lying about? This is ridiculous!'
Mir said to Clement, ‘You have the impertinence to speak of my honour, you graciously declare me blameless, as if
I
were the criminal who is now to be forgiven!'
Clement said, ‘No, for God's sake try to understand me!'
‘You mean “spare me” – why should I – I despise what you want me to “understand”. I am asking you now to tell these people what happened! If you won't, I will.'
Clement tugged violently at his hair, dragging it down and scratching his neck with his fingernails. He held his hands out toward Mir. ‘I did what you wanted, I assembled them here. As for what happened, how can we know? Let us
leave it alone
. You
can't remember
– '
Mir uttered a loud violent hissing sound.
Tessa said, ‘It may indeed be possible that Mr Mir now admits he can't remember things and may be making mistakes. But I think we may reasonably ask him to say what he
thinks
happened.'
‘Oh shut up, Tessa,' said Joan, ‘who elected you to be the
juge d'instruction
? The poor man is having a fantasy, I can't see why he has to torment Clement about it. Let's not get cross with each other, let's leave it at that, as Clement suggested, and for heaven's sake, Louise, let someone bring us something to drink.'
No one moved.
Mir said, looking at Tessa, ‘The lady who is a feminist and a social worker and whose name I have forgotten, has asked the appropriate question. I will tell you.'
Clement said loudly, ‘No,
no
– it's all a
dream
.'
‘I will tell you what I saw, and what he, here, knows to be true. I saw two men under the trees, this man and Professor Graffe. I saw Professor Graffe raise a weapon, a sort of club, with the evident intention of killing his brother. After all, brothers do kill each other, it is a well-known phenomenon. I moved forward to intercept the blow. Graffe then deliberately changed the direction of the blow and hit me instead. I knew nothing more until, a considerable time later, I regained consciousness in hospital, and heard an account of how a man had mistaken me for a thief and struck me with his umbrella. No mention was made of the other man or of the club which I had so clearly seen. I assume that the Professor gave the weapon to his brother and told him to run.' After a moment everyone began shifting and looking about. Joan said, ‘Oh what nonsense!' Louise said, ‘He must have imagined it all. It's a fantasy, perhaps a dream he had when he was unconscious.' Moy whispered to Sefton, ‘Oh do let's stop this, it's all
wrong
somehow.'
Tessa said, ‘Why didn't you say all this at once to the police?' Mir hesitated. ‘I wanted to find my murderer myself.'
‘What were you doing underneath the trees?'
‘I just like walking about in the evening.' He added, ‘It was a summer evening.'
After this there was a short silence. Tessa said, ‘Won't Clement – ?' Clement, who was sitting with his hands over his face, said nothing. Then she said, ‘I'm sorry, I know I'm an intruder – but when someone is called a liar shouldn't
something
be said?' She kicked Bellamy. ‘Why don't
you
say something, what do
you
think?' Bellamy was silent. He carefully moved a little farther away.
Clement stood up, turning to Mir who was sitting with his hands in his pockets and his long legs outstretched. For a moment Clement, his face contorted and blazing, was hardly able to utter. Then he spoke, choking, sounding almost tearful, ‘Please go away. You have upset these people by talking like this. You don't understand. We wish you very well. Now just go
please
.'
Mir rose. ‘All right, I'm going. I didn't realise this was to be a charade arranged by you and your brother. I shall certainly not talk to
you
again. I shall talk to other people, I shall take other steps. I'm sorry I have upset these ladies – I thought perhaps – but I was wrong. I'm sorry.' He bowed to Louise, then marched out of the door. After a moment Louise followed him down the stairs, but he had already taken his coat and umbrella, and the front door had banged after him.
Everyone had now risen and was ‘mingling' in the fashion prescribed by Joan, who had now taken it upon herself, with a perfunctory ‘Louise, you don't mind, do you', to instruct Sefton and Moy to bring up some refreshments. Coffee appeared (no tea) and white wine and sherry and various biscuits, so that it did become a party after all, and ‘Did we need it!' as Joan said to Tessa later.
BOOK: The Green Knight
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