The Guardians: An Urban Fantasy Romance (9 page)

“I’ve always known God didn’t give a damn about me,” she seethed. “And why should he? My father is a demon, and my mother is a junkie ex-Guardian who turned her back on everything she was supposed to stand for out of selfishness.”

Jack reached for her hand again, but she snatched it away and stood. He stood, as well, facing her.

“That’s not true. Didn’t you hear what she said? From the beginning, He chose you. He knew what was going to happen, and that you were going to be the one to bring a stop to it. You matter, Addie … you have always mattered.”

She laughed, the sound sadistic and rough to her own ears. “Yeah, I was so important that he forgot to assign a set of guards to me. I spent my childhood getting yelled at by my strung-out mom and being abused by—” She clamped her lips closed before she said too much. She refused to put a cherry on top of the sundae that this epic day had become by breaking down in front of Jack over the past.

Jack frowned, but didn’t ask. Maybe he understood the look on her face and realized she wouldn’t have told him if he’d asked, anyway. Elizabeth stood from her chair, dropping her cigarette into the ashtray at her side.

“I was a terrible Guardian, and an even worse mother. I know that. You don’t owe me a damn thing, Addie, and you have every right to hate me. But whatever this calling is, whatever you’ve been asked to do, you can’t say no.”

“I’ve been told I have a choice,” she argued. “That free will was a gift even demon kids get. I don’t
have
to do anything.”

“You’re right; you don’t. But if you refuse, you’re only giving him what he needs to come after you. For real, this time.”

Addison edged closer to her, searching her mother’s face for some hint at what she didn’t say. “What do you mean, ‘for real’? When has he ever tried to come for me?”

“Not in the flesh,” Elizabeth answered. “That thread that existed between us was because of you, Addie, because you were his seed. When you were born, he stopped tormenting me, and it didn’t take me long to figure out why.”

Addison’s stomach twisted and she thought she was going to be violently sick. “Because he was too busy torturing
me
. I was the thread and once I was born, you were free.”

“Exactly,” her mother confirmed. “You were always such a serious and gloomy kid … always staring off into space. When you turned two years old, you would throw these epic tantrums. I’m talking beyond anything I’ve ever seen. It wasn’t normal. In time, you evened out, so I figured he got bored. But, Addie, if you refuse this, he will see it as you turning your back on God and he’ll try to tempt you to his side. If you think it’ll be easy to resist, think again. He will latch on to the weakest parts of you and exploit them.”

Addison’s hands balled into fists at her sides as she advanced on Elizabeth. The tears were coming now, and she couldn’t stop them no matter how hard she tried. She thought the rage would choke her; it grew so thick. “You figured he got bored and just moved on? You really are clueless, aren’t you? I didn’t ‘even out,’ Mama; I learned how to control it. I have spent my entire life fighting to keep it hidden, to keep anyone from knowing about the thoughts I have when I’m angry.”

Jack stood beside her again, gripping her arm and pulling her away from Elizabeth. It was a good thing, too, because right now, she was ripping her mother to pieces in her mind, the thoughts far too enticing.

“Wait a minute,” he said, turning Addison to face him. “Are you telling me that Eligos speaks to you? You hear his voice?”

Addison shook her head. “It’s never any one voice. When I get sad or feel alone, I can hear voices telling me that I’m a worthless nothing. Anytime I get angry, the rage is unreal. I feel strong enough to tear a grown man in half, and my vision gets hazy. My mind fills with all kinds of deranged images of death and destruction. All this time, I’ve thought I was crazy, that maybe I suffered from some kind of mental disorder. I was afraid if I told anyone, they’d commit me to the nuthouse without a second thought. Are you telling me that he could be the one causing all of this? He’s the reason I fantasize about torturing and killing people? Or why I get so depressed sometimes I just want to slit my own throat?”

Jack nodded, but his gaze no longer focused on Addison. He stared over her shoulder at Elizabeth.

“You have failed your daughter,” he ground out through clenched teeth. “Whatever she decides concerning her calling is none of your business. You lost the right to advise her about anything a long time ago. Micah, we’re leaving!”

Micah had already jumped to his feet, one box of pizza and the rest of his six-pack in hand. He’d been silent through the entire conversation, but he’d watched the entire exchange with interest.

Addison let Jack lead her to the front door by the arm, too numb to protest or make a sound. They needed to leave; she knew that. Best that they left before she snapped and killed them all. As it was, she felt very aware of everything around her, almost as if she could reach out with some unseen force and crush the trailer until it reduced to the size of a tin can.

But murdering her mother was the last thing Addison wanted to do, if for no other reason than it would mean her father had won.

Micah lumbered down the front steps, his long legs propelling him toward his truck. Its headlights illuminated the dark night as Jack and Addison followed.

“Addie, wait!” Elizabeth cried, her robe fluttering around her thighs as she chased them down the short dirt path to Micah’s waiting truck. “Please.”

She spun to face her mother, and found identical tears coursing down her cheeks. “What do you want? Don’t you think you’ve done enough?”

“No, I haven’t. That’s why I need you to hear me out. Just one last thing and you can turn your back on me forever. I won’t try to contact you again, or be a part of your life. I need you to take this.”

She glanced down as Elizabeth extended a black velvet pouch to her. She hesitated, but then accepted the pouch, surprised by the weight of it. Reaching inside, she came out with a piece of jewelry and what looked like a solid gold brick the size of her forearm, heavy and solid. Her eyes widened as she turned it over in her hands and realized it was real. The jewelry was real, too—a golden medallion on a slim chain. The pendant made up the Guardian symbol—the cross, olive branch, and dove within a gleaming circle.

“What is this?” she asked.

“Those are the tools you need to complete your transition as a Guardian, should you decide to become on.”

“Whoa, wait, what?” Jack fumbled as he glanced from Elizabeth, to the gold, then Addison, and back again. “How is that even possible? Addison is a Naphil.”

Elizabeth lifted her chin a notch. “Not just any Naphil. Why do you think He chose her? She has the best of both worlds in her. Her human side is far from ordinary, and if she chooses to take the mark of the Guardian, she will be endowed with the same inner light you carry.”

“Why would anyone allow me to become a Guardian?” Addison questioned, confused as she studied the objects in her hand. “Didn’t you hear what I just said about my dark thoughts and my sadistic nature? I am not Guardian material.”

Elizabeth’s bony fingers found her face in a tight grasp. Her eyes grew wide as she leaned close, and for a moment, a woman Addison had never known came to the surface. A woman with purpose.

“You listen to me, Addison Monroe. You
are
a Guardian! I don’t give a damn who your father is; I am your mother, and we come from a long line of light bearers. If you take the mark and become a Guardian, it will bring balance. The light will chase Eligos away and you will have peace. Darkness cannot reside where there is light … you need the light, Addison. It will save you.”

Addison was flabbergasted. “Is that all it took, all this time? Why didn’t you tell me all this before? I could have taken the mark years ago and saved myself so much pain. Why now?”

“You had to be willing,” Elizabeth insisted. “I always believed I could have avoided so much heartache if I’d waited until I was older to take the mark—when I would have been old enough to understand its importance and treat it with the respect it deserved. Maybe then, none of this would have happened. Now that you know the stakes, and the truth, you decide. You can embrace the light, Addison, and do what I never had the courage to do.”

Addison stared down at the medallion in her palm, her thumb tracing the smooth gold. Jack cleared his throat beside her.

“I will have to consult Reniel on this, but it sounds like the truth,” he said. “It makes sense when you think about it. It would be an advantage for you, Addison, whether you decide to help us find the Seal of Solomon or not. It could help you to combat the darkness enough to live a normal life.”

Dropping the items back into the velvet bag, Addison turned to her mother. “Thank you for telling me the truth.”

Elizabeth smiled, showcasing her tar-stained teeth. Addison could remember a time when her mother had been pretty. As a little girl, she’d thought Elizabeth the most beautiful woman in the world, even with the dark circles under her eyes and disheveled hair. Guilt and drugs had withered her away to nothing. Despite her hurt and anger, she found herself pitying the woman again.

“I’m glad you know. I don’t know about you, but I feel so much better now that it’s all out in the open.”

Addison shrugged. “It helps.” She turned to leave, but paused, swiveling back once more. “Mama?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“What was your power?” Curiosity was a strange thing. Even when Addison should have had nothing left to say to her mother, the question just wouldn’t leave her alone. She had to know. She wanted to believe a different woman had existed once … a woman with a cause and a purpose. “When you were a Guardian, what was your ability?”

Another tear slipped from Elizabeth’s eye and clung to the edge of her chin. Her smile wobbled and her answer came out on a sob.

“I used to fly. Yeah … that was my gift. I could fly.”

Chapter 10: Things that Matter

Jack sat on the edge of the couch with his head between his hands. The apartment had gone quiet for the night, but his thoughts were anything but serene. His mind raced with all they’d learned tonight. There was still so much he didn’t understand. If Elizabeth had told the truth, then Addison could become a Guardian, too. Who knew what kind of power that would unleash from the depths of her soul? For that matter, he still had no idea what the scope of her abilities encompassed. He had a feeling she didn’t quite know herself. She’d been too busy holding her dark thoughts at bay to explore her gifts.

He’d put in a call to Reniel as soon as they’d arrived back home, and he expected the angel first thing in the morning. For now, they could do nothing except try to get a good night’s sleep, but no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t force his mind to shut down. The scenes from Elizabeth’s trailer kept replaying themselves over and over again—the look on Addison’s face as the truth finally came out; the pain in her eyes as she realized that her mother had really never wanted her; the hope that flared when she encountered the option to become something greater, to become a Guardian.

While Micah had finished off his six-pack and then stumbled into his room where he closed the door and passed out, Jack had been sitting on the couch for hours, just staring off into space. In the beginning, this mission had been all about Eligos for him. Whatever it took to take down the Great Duke and his ten, he would do, without question.

Now, he found himself tangled up in this web of Addison’s life. A place he didn’t want to be. Since learning about the Guardians and taking up their cause as his own, nothing had been the same for him. With Tracy, he’d though he’d found something—someone—to anchor him, to remind him beauty and laughter and love could be found in the world. It had given him hope that there could be life beyond this one mission that had consumed his entire adult life.

Now here came Addison, who required protection, but needed so much more. She was an angry, insecure mess, but no matter how much Jack tried to pretend it didn’t strike a chord with him, it did. No matter how much he tried to pretend he didn’t care about her beyond what she meant to their mission, deep down, he did.

That’s why he stood and made his way down the hall to his bedroom. The door was closed, but he could see the glow of the light from the threshold. She must still be awake.

He paused with his hand poised to knock and asked himself what he could be thinking. Nothing mattered except convincing her to go along with the plan, which could have waited until the next morning with Reniel around for backup. That rationale did nothing to sway him from his determination to know that she was all right. He had to know how she was dealing with what had just happened. He’d told her earlier that she didn’t have to do it all alone, and he’d meant it.

Snapping out of his wandering thoughts, he knocked.

“Come in,” her muffled voice said through the door.

He turned the knob and stepped inside, finding her seated cross-legged on the floor with the bag she’d taken from her apartment upended beside her. Notebooks, pens, and pencils lay scattered around her, one of them open at her feet. She straightened, her hair a cascade of flames around her shoulders, a few strands falling into her eyes.