The H-Bomb and the Jesus Rock (13 page)

It’s boring watching sheep all day.

I sucked up a giant breath, held my stomach in, bent all the way over and tied my right shoelace as quick as I could, then sat up straight again and let the air out, along with my stomach.

I sat there catching my breath.

Mr. Pappas across the street sat up in his recliner and hollered out some more gibberish, then laid back down again. He’s all worked up today. He thinks this is it, the end of the world. Any minute now,
Kaboom!

But he’s wrong.

They’ll have a meeting, or a long talk over the phone. They’ll put together some kind of deal. And nothing will happen.
Nothing ever happens, Mr. Pappas. Don’t you know that? By now?

I sat there.

I thought about going back in and getting my boxes.

I thought about at least tying my other shoe.

But I just kept sitting there.

Then Mom opened the door, up there behind me. “Are they gone?” she said.

Stupid question. I didn’t even answer.

“Toby, listen to me. Don’t ever bring anyone into this house again without my permission. Do you understand?”

She waited.

“Do...you...under
stand?
”

“Yeah, yeah.”

She was quiet then for a couple seconds. Then she said, “I’m just about to heat up some ravioli. Interested?”

Little slippery pillows with meat inside, smothered in tomato sauce—what an invention.

“Come in and wash up,” she told me.

I love ravioli but I went on sitting there.

“I brought up a can of apricots from the basement,” she added.

I stayed where I was.

“Del Monte apricots...”

“In a minute,” I told her.

“In extra heavy syrup...”

“In a
minute
, all right?”

She went quiet again. Then, here came the waterworks. “I’m trying very hard,” she blubbered. “I’m trying very hard to forgive and forget...after what you put me through...with that
rock
, and those...
children
, those...greasy little godawful—”

“Hey, Mom?” I said, stopping her. I turned around and looked up at her there, all fat and weepy, in her muumuu.

“Well?” she said.

“I was wondering...”

She waited.
“Well?”

“Haven’t you got anything else to wear?”

She stared down at me, her mouth open a little.

“Anything at all?” I said.

She kept staring at me, shaking her head real slow. “I don’t even know you anymore,” she said. “I don’t even know who...you...are.”

I nodded. I liked that idea. I liked that a lot.

She kept shaking her head, not knowing who I was, stepping back into the house. She gave the sky a quick glance and closed the door.

Poor thing.

But I was awful sick of that stupid muumuu. In fact, I was awful sick of everything.

I went on sitting there.

Mr. Pappas went on sleeping.

A car went by.

Then all of a sudden I thought of something I felt like doing.

First though, I sucked up a lungful and went after my other shoelace. Then I stood up. I was pretty hungry,
very
hungry in fact, especially for ravioli. Be that as it may, I headed towards the back of the house, towards the patio, where I kept my bike.

I felt like trying again.

Premier Khrushchev

I appreciate your assurance that the United States will not invade Cuba. Therefore, we have ordered our officers to stop building bases, dismantle the equipment and send it back home.