The Handfasting (8 page)

“Hi Jaime,” she
said as she passed Jaime on the small trail that led from the field back
towards the keep.

“Hello,” said
Jaime cheerily.  He stopped momentarily and searched Emma’s pretty face.  Having
Gavin back physically but with him not remembering who he was had taken a toll
on Emma.  Jaime knew how deeply they had been in love, and his heart ached for
Emma.

“He gave me a run
for my money,” Jaime said, smiling.  He hoped to bolster Emma’s spirits.

“I watched.  I
thought you were going to kill him at first,” Emma scolded, placing her hand on
her hip.

Jaime’s lips
curled into a wry smile.  “Ye ken that I wouldna do that,” he said.  “I’m glad
that ye still find me the superior swordsman,” Jaime added.

“That I did not
say,” Emma said, smiling now as she shook her head.  “I think that Gavin had
the advantage,” she teased. 

“Nay.  I won for
sure.  Ye must have not had a very god viewpoint.  Clearly, I won,” Jaime said,
teasing now.  If ever two swordsmen were equally matched, it was he and Gavin. 
He was thrilled to see that Gavin was still his equal.  “He’ll be happy tae see
ye.  Get on down there,” Jaime coaxed as he watched a nervous smile spread over
Emma’s lovely face.

“I’m going to go
tell him that you conceded,” Emma smirked, and she took off running down the
path before Jaime could protest.

“Ye had better
no!” Jaime called after her, smiling.  She was such a fiery lass, and it was
good to see that spark kindling within her again.

..ooOoo..

“Hi,”
Emma said shyly as she approached Gavin. 

He
stood under the oak tree carefully cleaning his claymore.  His eyes flashed
with recognition, and a faint smile spread over his rugged face.  Emma had been
a Godsend to him since his return.

“Hi,”
he said softly as he sheathed his claymore.

“I
brought you something to eat,” Emma said, thrusting the basket at him.  She was
not used to being nervous around Gavin, and this new twist in their
relationship made her feel awkward.  She was still trying to figure out where
she stood with him.  They were handfasted, and yet they did not know each other
at all.  She was so attracted to him, for he physically looked just the same as
she had remembered.  He still looked like her beautiful, precious husband, and
yet it was not proper for her to touch him because he was now more like a
stranger.  They were testing each other, searching each other almost as if they
had met for the first time.

“Thank
ye,” Gavin said as he reached out and took the basket.  His thumb brushed
against the soft skin of Emma’s hand.  “Will ye join me?” he asked casually as
he spread his plaid out in the grass.

“Sure,”
Emma said.  She sat on the plaid across from him.  Her heart fluttered in her
chest, beating an erratic rhythm.  She needed something to do with her hands,
something that would calm her nerves.  She took the hem of her gown and worked
it between her fingers, studying the tiny stitches in an effort to calm her
nerves.

“That
bad is it?” Gavin said coolly as he watched her.

“What? 
No!  I mean…it’s not you, it’s just that I’m…” she trailed off as color flushed
her face.

“Nervous?”
he asked.

Emma
nodded.  “Nervous,” she agreed.  “I don’t know how to act around you,” she
confessed, her eyes looking boldly into his.

“Just
act like yerself,” he offered, smiling that lop-sided smile that she loved so
much.  “I’m sure that is who I fell in love with in the first place,” he added.

Emma
nodded, and tried her best to relax.  He was right.  She needed to act like
herself.  He had fallen in love with her once, what was to say that he couldn’t
fall in love with her again?  The thought brought a smile to her face.

“What
are ye smiling about?” Gavin asked as he rummaged through the basket.  He
pulled out a jug of ale and some meat that was sandwiched between two slices of
bread.

“I
was just thinking about you,” Emma confessed.  “That’s exactly what you would
say…just be myself.  And you’re right.  All I can do is be myself and hope that
you…”she trailed off again, afraid to say what she was thinking.

“And
hope that I what?” he insisted, not letting her drop the topic.

Emma
exhaled slowly.  “And hope that you fall in love with me again,” she said
softly.  She was afraid to look at him, hoping earnestly that he wouldn’t
rebuff her.

“Emma,”
Gavin said huskily.  He waited for her eyes to meet his, but they would not. 
“Look at me, Emma,” he demanded.

Emma’s
eyes fluttered up and met his. 

Gavin
swallowed hard as he looked at the beautiful woman who sat before him on his
plaid.  Her knees were curled delicately beneath her, and her long blonde hair
rustled in the faint breeze.  Emma was breathtaking.  She was also his wife,
and it pained him to see her forlorn look.  The sadness that resided deep
within her eyes troubled him, and he knew that Emma was working hard to be
patient with him.  He wanted so badly to remember the life that he had shared
with her.  He wanted to remember how they had fallen in love, how he had been
the man that claimed her heart. 

Gavin
wondered how he had ever been so lucky as to win Emma’s affection. He had
noticed how the other Mackinnon men watched her.  She seemed unaware of her allure. 
She carried herself confidently, but Gavin was sure that she had no idea of her
quiet grace and her irresistible beauty. Gavin was sure that every man in the
clan had noticed her.  Hell, their desire for her played openly across their
faces.  He would need to do something about that.  Somewhere deep inside, he
knew that Emma belonged to him.

“Give
me time, sweetheart,” he said softly.  “I’m doing everything that I can tae
remember.  I…”

Emma
brought a trembling hand to her mouth and inhaled sharply.

“You
called me sweetheart,” she uttered in disbelief.  “That’s what you always used
to call me…”

 
“I can see why I fell in love with ye the first time,” he said, smiling
sheepishly.  “And if ye’ll let me, I’d love tae fall in love with ye again.”

Emma
smiled and then looked away.  Gavin’s words made her heart sing.

Gavin
watched as an attractive flush spread over her cheeks.  Emma was lovely in the
afternoon sunlight.  The sun glistened off her unbound blonde hair, which stood
out in compliment to the sky blue gown that she wore.  Her breasts swelled at
the neck of the gown, and with each rise and fall of her breath, they crested
and fell in a very alluring manner.  Gavin could not deny that he was attracted
to Emma.  As he looked at her now, he wanted to pull her into his arms and
assure her that everything would be alright with time.  He found himself
becoming aroused as he watched her.  The urge to kiss her, to taste her full
lips became harder to fight.

“Would
ye prefer that I find somewhere else to sleep until…until we decide how tae
move forward?” he asked.  The question had been burning on his mind.  He had
slept in front of the fire in Emma’s chamber since his return.  Emma had said
nothing to indicate that she was unhappy with this arrangement.

“No,”
Emma said honestly.  “I like having you close,” she admitted.

She
had lied.  In truth, Emma
loved
having Gavin sleep in their chamber. 
Even though he was not yet in her bed, she loved knowing that he was near.  She
adored knowing that he was safe and nearby.  His presence calmed her and the
steady, reassuring rhythm of his breathing while he slept lulled Emma to sleep
at night.  She loved sitting up in their bed and watching him as he slept in
front of the fire.  Secretly, she hoped that he would soon be sleeping in their
bed beside her.  Well, maybe not just sleeping.  Emma felt the dull ache begin
to build within her.  She wanted Gavin so badly that she ached for him.  She
burned for his touch.

Gavin
was pleased by Emma’s quick refusal that he find somewhere else to sleep.  He
would often rise in the middle of the night and walk over to watch her sleeping
in the giant bed.  He thought that maybe if he watched her, he would remember
something, anything.  He liked being close to her and did not want to find
another place to sleep.  Somehow, he felt as though he belonged with her in
that chamber.  He felt as though he belonged in her bed.

“Not
everyone gets the chance tae fall in love, ye ken,” Gavin whispered softly. 
“It would be a rare blessing tae get the joy of falling in love twice.”

Emma’s
heart raced at the implication of Gavin’s words.  Even though he did not
remember, he was telling her that he was willing to love her.  He
wanted
to
fall in love with her again!

“I
love you so much, Gavin,” Emma whispered, her eyes tearing up as she looked at
the beautiful man before her.  Here he was, her Gavin, and yet it was almost as
if she was professing her love to a stranger.  “There is nothing that I would
like more in the whole world than the chance to fall in love with you again.”

“Thank
ye for loving me, Emma.  Ye have no idea of how much it means tae me that ye’ve
chosen to stand beside me.  I ken that this canna be easy for ye, and I can
only hope that someday, I’ll be able tae make it up tae ye,” Gavin said
sincerely, his chest clenching with the tension of causing this beautiful lass
such strife.  “It pains me no tae be able tae tell ye that I love ye back, but
when I say those words tae ye, ye will ken that I mean them with all of my heart,”
Gavin said fervently, his green eyes searching Emma’s face for understanding.

Surprising
them both, Gavin reached out at took Emma’s hand.  He brought her fingers to
his lips and kissed her knuckles gently, closing his eyes and drinking in her
sweet, feminine scent.

Emma
struggled to breathe as Gavin’s lips brushed over her skin.  His faint touch
sent shivers racing down her spine all the way to her toes.  Feeling Gavin
touch her so intimately caused such conflicting feelings.  She wanted to throw
herself into his arms, to kiss him and hold him tight, but she remained still
while her heart beat erratically in her chest in answer to his kiss. 

Gavin
did not love her.

His
warm lips lingered on her skin for a moment longer than necessary.  Gavin’s
green eyes flashed up to Emma’s blue as he slowly drew his lips away from her
hand.

“Let
me fall in love with ye again, Emma,” he asked tenderly as he held Emma’s gaze.

Emma
closed her eyes and fought to remain in control.  A single tear slid down her
cheek.  There was nothing that she wanted more on this Earth.

Chapter Seven

“Tell me about how
we fell in love the first time,” Gavin whispered into Emma’s ear as they sat
together at a table that had been brought out into the field below Mackinnon
keep.  The clan had gathered outside to celebrate Beltane, the festival for
spring, fertility and new life.

“Now?” Emma asked,
her face flushing with color as her eyes darted towards Gavin’s mother, who sat
just to Gavin’s left.  Lady Mackinnon pretended to ignore them but somehow Emma
knew that she was listening.  Her eyes were fixed on the warriors that were
sparring for their entertainment, but Emma knew that Gavin’s mother was working
very hard at looking interested in the swordplay.

“Aye.  Now,” Gavin
coaxed as his breath warmed Emma’s ear deliciously.  He brushed his fingers
lightly over the back of Emma’s hand.

Her spine
straightened in response to his touch.  How could such an innocent touch affect
her so much?

“I need tae ken
what I did right the first time,” he chuckled as his stubble tickled the
sensitive skin of Emma’s neck.

Emma squirmed in
her seat, and worked hard to pretend that she was watching the Mackinnon men
display their skill at warfare. 

Lady MacKinnon
cleared her throat abruptly and rose from her seat.  Gavin made no move to
distance himself from Emma, but looked towards his mother.

“I’ve had enough
sun for today,” Lady Mackinnon said with a knowing smile.  She pushed in her
chair and dismissed herself without further explanation, leaving her son alone
with his wife.

Emma giggled
softly.  “See what you did?” she said teasingly.

Gavin smiled wryly
and said a silent thank you for his mother’s forethought.  “Now ye have nae
excuse.  Tell me, Emma,” Gavin asked softly as he reached over and captured
Emma’s hand beneath his own. He brushed his thumb over the back of her hand
encouragingly.

“I think that
mayhap there are some things that it’s better that you don’t remember!” Emma
teased, smiling broadly at Gavin.

“That bad, was
it?” Gavin winced, a lump of anticipation building in his throat.  He suddenly
began to wonder what exactly he had done.

Emma’s face turned
bright red, and she looked away.

“I kicked you…in…um,
in a very sensitive place,” she said sheepishly, now unable to make eye contact
with Gavin.  Her eyes darted up experimentally, and when she saw the look of
absolute shock that had overtaken his face, she began to giggle as she
remembered their first encounter.

“Ye have my full
attention now.  What did I do tae deserve that?” he asked as he gritted his
teeth together with dread.

“You didn’t
deserve it!” Emma said, still giggling as she watched Gavin’s reaction to her
story.  “We first met at my mother’s wedding, when she married your uncle. 
Rabbie MacAurthur was plaguing me at the celebration that followed the
wedding.  He was all drunk and had just tried to kiss me.  I slapped him and
turned to walk away and then the more I thought about what he had tried to do
to me, the madder I got!” Emma explained.  She smiled now as she watched
Gavin.  He was completely enraptured in her story and his eyebrows were knit
together as she recounted the story of Rabbie’s advances.  She could tell that
Gavin was possessive of her still and that he was not pleased to hear about her
mistreatment.