The Harbinger (A Fight for Light Novel Book 2) (19 page)

I went with him after lunch the next afternoon, watching everything around me and half paranoid, as he discussed plans with the guard. No one had seen the harpy cross the portal and were unsure of how it reached this side. Was there some kind of black magic involved? A rift?

Or was there another gateway in use? One the Guardians were not aware of?

We found out that the enemy was already marching toward the portal and would be here in about three days. It was agreed that we would meet back here in two to be sure to intercept them before they could get into the human world. Kellen didn’t tell me many details but I knew it was bad from the way his lips pressed into a thin line and his brow furrowed.

Once, when Kellen was deep in conversation with Tristan, I noticed Seasnan watching me. I glanced in his direction, and his gaze caught mine. His smile was soft and he winked at me. His lips mouthed the words “I remember” and then he looked away quickly before Kellen could notice. I sighed quietly and pretended not to understand. Minutes later Kellen and I went home and I forgot about Seasnan.

That night another new nightmare awakened me screaming…

The rider was perched atop a horse, sitting quietly, ominously, awaiting someone or something. He was incredibly tall, wearing solid black armor with a red plume sticking out of the top of his helmet. Though he was covered head to toe I could still see his large muscular frame, sitting erect, eyes searching until they landed on me.

He stared at me intently, his dark eyes visible through the narrow slits in his helmet. I had the impression that he intended to intimidate me. Suddenly he charged at me, on that huge dark warhorse, also covered in black armor, and galloping his way forward at an alarming speed.

I tried to run but he caught me and snatched me up. I was thrown over his horse as he galloped quickly away. I screamed and struggled against the strong arms that held me captive but I could not get free…

I woke up screaming and flailing my arms, trying to escape my captor. The evil feeling from the dream haunted my sleep the rest of the night. I tossed and turned endlessly, almost falling out of bed.

Kellen was watching me when I opened my eyes. His face was carefully blank but I knew by the look in his eyes that he was afraid for my safety. I was careful not to say too much. I didn’t want him to keep me home. I refused to say a word to him. No way was he going to use that as an excuse.

Kellen and I spent nearly every second with each other during those two days we waited. He never took his eyes off of me except to sleep. I knew the idea of me being kidnapped haunted him. I tried to distract him, making myself look pretty and alluring for him. I know he noticed because his eyes betrayed their desire often, but he never acted on it. True to his word, he remained the gentlemen and kept the physical contact to a minimum. I didn’t mind but I
was
missing him.

Kellen left for a couple of hours in the afternoon and I sank onto the couch with Gran. She made us hot tea and we relaxed, enjoying time together, just the two of us. We talked about my visit across the portal and how beautiful it was.

“Are you going to tell me about Bae?” She asked gently.

Surprise made my mouth drop open. “Gran, how much did you see?”

“Plenty, enough to know you have competition for more than your affection,” she responded, watching my face closely, “I would say for your heart.”

“He’s wonderful,” I admitted, “but I love Kellen.”

She seemed to think on that. “True, but…keeping your options open is important.”

“That’s what he said,” I took a shaky breath. “He asked me to remember him. To keep him close and not forget him.”

It was quiet for a moment. “There’s a lot of emotion and feeling in those words.”

“Yes, and there was plenty between us Gran. He made me feel…beautiful, safe, desired, wanted…”

I looked down at my mug at the swirl that rose above the steaming liquid.

“I see,” she placed her hand on my arm and squeezed, “are you confused by that?”

I shook my head. That’s the thing, I wasn’t confused at all. “Being with him felt
right
. Perfect, like I was supposed to be Gran. He said…someday we would be together. It frightened me but exhilarated me too.” I set the cup of tea on the coffee table. “What’s the matter with me Gran? I
wanted
to be with him. I wanted to stay with him and never leave. And I’m nearly engaged to Kellen. How could I do that? How could I let him kiss me and hold me and promise with sweet words everything I wanted to hear and just…” I faltered, everything spilling out in a rush.

“Because, perhaps, your heart is undecided Rhiannon. Don’t sell yourself short. You don’t have to make any decisions now,” she assured me.

“That’s what Bae told me.”

“He sounds like a smart man, and from what I can tell, he was speaking from his heart and totally honest. I do not think you have any reason not to trust or believe him.”

“I know, I
felt
it. I felt everything with him, so strong, so deep. Is that normal? Was it like that with Gramps?” I hated to bring him up but I wanted to know.

“Yes,” she smiled sadly, “he was my soul mate and I knew it from the moment I met him.” Her words resonated inside me. “Do you feel that with Kellen? Did you feel it across the portal?”

I was trembling. Gran took my hand in hers and rubbed little circles to calm me down. “No, not with Kellen, not like that. Not here and not there.”

“And with Bae?” She asked softly.

“I did,” I whispered, tears filling my eyes. “Oh God, I did and I do.” I groaned and placed my hands on my cheeks. They were flushed. “Oh Gran.”

“All you have to do is listen to your heart and make the right choice when you are ready. No matter who that man is, or who you love now. Until you say I do, nothing is certain.”

I took a shaky breath. “I
love
Kellen. I do.”

“Yes, and you wonder why you can love another but you should know something. Your mother loved two men once, before you were born, and she had to choose. She chose the right man of course. But it was a difficult choice until she made it. Once she did, there was nothing but peace and happiness for her,” Gran told me as she kissed my cheek and smoothed the hair out of my eyes. “I have no doubt it will be the same for you.”

“But what does that mean? And what do I do while I figure it out?”

“Rhiannon sweetie, you live life. Once the timing is right, you will know. Until then, be happy,” she advised, “there’s nothing complicated about it.”

I sat back, my thoughts rushing to Bae, and all I wanted was for him to appear before me and tell me everything would be all right, holding me close, feeling his strength, shielded in his warmth, and never letting him leave. Ever.

And the worst part was…

I did not feel guilty at all.

That night I had a premonition. The one I dreamed long ago and had nearly forgotten, when Kellen and I had spent the day together and watched Star Wars and ordered in Chinese food and Gran and Gramps went to the picnic out of town…

I was falling…faster and faster, propelling myself toward the ground. In my dream, I needed to hurry, spurred on by some instinctive drive. Urgency catapulted me forward, as if it was life or death. Suddenly, I smacked right into a tree, slamming my body in the process. Landing on the ground, I screamed and writhed in agony, sudden pain gripping my body in agonizing horror…

I awoke with a start, jolting my mind into consciousness. I sat upright in bed, panicked and scared, until I realized I was in my room. This wasn’t just a dream or nightmare. I could tell by the fluidity, the clarity of the circumstance, and the intense feeling of realism that it was a premonition. I was getting better at recognizing them. I knew by the way a vision made me feel.

Why would I dream about falling like that? More than the confusion was the feeling that I somehow
wanted
to be falling. It almost felt like I
needed
to be. The danger in the dream was secondary to the way I felt. I didn’t understand at all. Why in the world would I want to smack into a tree and fall to my death?

The morning we were leaving I lounged in bed late and pulled Kellen with me. We stayed silent in each other’s arms, enjoying our last few minutes together alone. I lay my head on his chest, my thoughts drifting to that first day we met at school, the lunch line, and that electric magnetism and attraction when our hands touched for the first time.

I laughed lightly and propped myself up, looking down into his eyes. He was watching me, grinning, searching my face.

“I was thinking about that first day we met in school. Do you remember?” I asked him.

“Yes, of course. I thought you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. When you looked over at me in English class my eyes nearly popped right out of my head. I didn’t know what you looked like yet. I only knew that the girl I was protecting was named Rhiannon,” he laughed lightly.

“I thought you were gorgeous, like some Greek god. I had a hard time concentrating around you,” I confessed.

“That’s how I felt too. There were so many times I wanted to touch you and I couldn’t. I wanted to kiss you long before prom. I kept trying to tell myself that you didn’t feel that way about me and as your Guardian I shouldn’t be interested in you. It was a hopeless effort,” he admitted, laughing again.

“I wanted to ask you about something. Do you remember when we were in the lunch line that first day and our hands touched?”

“Yes,” he laughed and shook his head, “it felt like I had been electrocuted, the current ran straight up my arm. It intrigued me. I knew I was attracted to you and that only confirmed it for me.”

“Really? It felt exactly like that to me too. Interesting…” I trailed off and looked in his eyes again.

I smiled very slowly and very wide. I bent my face close to his chest, my lips just an inch from his skin, tracing his whole upper body. Slowly I made my way around to his shoulders and then to his neck and up to his ear. I could see his pulse beating in his neck erratically. I started to make my way down to his abs again and then I felt it.

The electric current flowed across his chest between us. He grabbed my arms and flipped us over so that he was suspended above me. He was breathing heavy and fast, his muscles flexing in his biceps. I slowly let my eyes travel up his chest until I met his eyes. They were liquid green pools of desire that seemed to see all the way to my soul.

He stayed there for several minutes before he jumped up and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Rhiannon, sweetheart, you…are so…irresistible. I think I’m going to lose my mind.”

I laughed out loud. “It was just an experiment. Did you feel it again? The electric current?”

He frowned at me and said sarcastically “What do you think?”

I jumped up and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him with feeling. He kissed me back and then removed my hands. He sighed.

“Rhia, darling, you are the most seductive creature I have ever met, and even more so because you are completely innocent and unaware of it.”

I laughed again and spun around in front of him, blowing a kiss, and heading to the shower.

“I’m going to take a shower. See you later? Or not?”

I was being completely naughty and loving every second of it. He folded his hands across his chest and scowled at me. It didn’t last long. He grinned and walked away whistling but not before I saw the wink he threw in my direction.

After my shower I skipped downstairs to meet Kellen. We had a few hours before we were leaving for the gateway and decided to watch a movie and relax. I didn’t see Kellen around and walked over to the Blu-ray collection to decide on a film. I wasn’t sure if he felt like action adventure or a comedy. Rummaging through the titles, I was caught off guard when the doorbell rang.

I thought it was strange he would ring the bell. I shrugged and opened the door with a huge smile on my lips. It quickly died on my face, replaced with a frown. Kellen was not the person standing at my door. It was a young woman, someone I had never seen before, ever. She looked me over with contempt and shot me a dirty look. I raised an eyebrow. Who was she?

“Can I help you?” I asked, trying not to sound rude. I was not successful.

“Yes, I don’t know, I am looking for Kellen.” Her voice was impatient.

She tossed her shoulder length blonde hair behind her and sighed. I noticed she was wearing a lot of heavy make-up, especially on her eyes, making her seem older and cheap. Now that I was looking, she was dressed quite provocative in a short mini skirt and a tight low cut top. Something didn’t feel right. My stomach got a sinking feeling.

“May I ask who you are?” I kept my voice even.

“He knows who I am very well. Tell him Renee is here to see him.” She smiled, icy and cold.

I tried not to look very surprised.
Renee
was here to see Kellen? What in the world was going on? What the hell? I could feel the tension rising, bringing the blood in my veins to a fever pitch. I was
not
going to invite her into my house. I didn’t care if it was rude.

“I’ll check with Kellen and be back in a minute.” I closed the door quickly before she could respond.

Turning around, I found Kellen walking into the living room from the kitchen. He was eating a sandwich and grinned at me, seemingly at ease. Yeah, right. Did he know she was coming?

“Who’s at the door?” He asked brightly.

I folded my arms across my chest. “It’s…
Renee
.”

His mouth dropped open in surprise and he set the sandwich down. Instantly he scowled and walked over to the door. I followed behind him but hung back a little. I wanted to see what he was going to do. More importantly, I wanted to watch his interaction with her. Actions speak louder than words. If he was carrying any kind of relationship with her I would know it right away.

He opened the door quickly. “What in the hell are you doing here Renee?”

He sounded furious. At least that was a good start.

Renee walked up to him and placed her hand on his arm. He pushed it away. “I just wanted to see you and talk. It has been too long Kellen. I miss you.”

“Why are you here? We have nothing to say to each other,” he responded coldly.

She put her arms around his neck. He started to remove them when I got frustrated and slammed the door shut on them both. I stomped up the stairs and slammed my bedroom door shut too. It felt good, easing my frustration a little.

I sat down on my bed and sighed. I could hear raised voices and knew they were arguing. I walked over to my balcony and opened the sliding glass door quietly, tiptoeing out onto the balcony and listened.

“Kellen, please. Just give me a chance to make it up to you. I’m sure-”

He cut her off. “There is nothing to discuss. I don’t need to clear the air about anything. I have nothing to apologize for.”

“You’re right Kellen, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Please let me show you I am sincere.” Her voice was pleading.

“I’m not doing this Renee. I want you to leave. I am involved with someone else. I am very happy with Rhia-”

She interrupted this time. “You don’t know her that well. We have a long history together Kellen. Don’t throw it away. Come with me, just for a little bit. Let’s talk. We need to work things out.”

“There is nothing to work out Renee. You are not in my life anymore. Please leave and do not come back here ever again. I mean it.” His voice was harsh and cold.

“Kellen! Please don’t do this!” I could hear the desperation in her voice.

“Get off of me. I love Rhiannon.
I love her.
Go Renee. Find someone else to deceive. I told you that I was done and I meant it.”

I could hear a scuffle and then I saw her get in her car and leave. I walked back inside my room and shut the sliding glass door, locking it. I was pissed.

What the hell was she doing here? How did she know where to find Kellen? What kind of history did they actually have together? It seemed more than the relationship that Kayleigh told me about and more than Kellen had ever revealed himself.

I sat on the edge of my bed, my arms folded across my chest, and scowled. He had a lot of explaining to do. I knew exactly where this would lead. We were going to argue, simply because he didn’t like questions or explanations, and he would refuse to fully explain. But I had a right to know. I wasn’t going anywhere with him until he talked to me and told me the truth.

About ten seconds later there was a knock on my balcony doors. “Rhiannon, please open up and let me talk to you.”

I looked over at him, still scowling. His face was pleading. I shook my head and turned around. I was still mad.

“Rhiannon, baby, open the door for me. We need to talk.”

I sighed, getting up and unlocking the door. He walked in and immediately put his arms around me. Leaning his face down, he kissed me, as if that would fix everything. I pushed back against his chest. I knew the tactic, if he distracted me he didn’t have to explain. Not this time.

“Kellen, that isn’t going to work. I want to talk about this, right
now
. I’m not leaving until we do.” I sat back down on the bed and stared at him.

He was frowning. “So, you aren’t going to leave with me because Renee showed up to your house?”

“That wasn’t what I said but fine.” I looked away, irritated.

“Dammit Rhiannon, I don’t care about her at all. But you will not stay in this house without me. I am your Guardian. You need to listen to me.” His voice was tense and strained.

I looked back over at him and narrowed my eyes. I wasn’t allowed to stay in this house without him, huh? Fine. I stood up and walked out onto the balcony and slammed the door closed behind me. He followed me out and grabbed my arm, forcing me to look into his eyes.

“What are you doing? I have every intention of explaining things to you. Just give me half a chance, please.”

His saving grace was the sincerity in his eyes. I nodded and he led me back into the house. We sat down on my bed.

“I swear I don’t know why she came here. I didn’t know she was coming and I didn’t invite her. I promise you, I never told her where I was. Please believe me.” He sounded upset.

“Yes, I believe you,” I sighed, “but why did she come here unless she has feelings for you and believes she has a chance? Have you seen or spoken to her? What happened? Just how close
were you
?” I was frustrated and admittedly, a little jealous.

“No, Rhiannon, we have not spoken or had any communication in a long time, since before I met you. She is delusional. She just wants what she can’t have. I will not be used by her again. You already know how close we were,” his voice became tight. He sounded a little too convincing, like he was hiding something.

“Kellen…were you…did you…sleep with her?” I asked, my voice low.

I realized suddenly that I didn’t know the answer. How did I not
know
that? How was it possible that I never thought to ask? I was young and innocent. I assumed that because I was a virgin, then Kellen was too. I looked at my hands nervously. I was afraid of his answer. Deathly afraid of it.

He was silent for a moment and then he tilted my chin so he could see my face. I know he could see the uncertainty and doubt in my eyes. There was no way that I could hide it. He watched my expression and bent his lips to mine briefly. He didn’t answer. I knew when he stayed quiet that the truth was my worst fear. He
had
been intimate with her.

Tears sprang to my eyes. I felt so betrayed in that moment. Lied to. Deceived. It wasn’t because he had been with someone else. Ok, well maybe a little. Mostly, I felt betrayed because he never told me. Not once. We were supposed to be in love, practically engaged, at least in the near future. Why didn’t he tell me this before?

Kellen was still watching my face. I saw him grimace and he dropped his hand. He knew I was upset. He knew I felt the sting of his silence. I didn’t want to but I started to cry. The tears overflowed, slipping down my cheeks silently.

Kellen slid his arms around me and hugged me tight, obviously thinking the conversation was over. Fat chance. I know he wanted me to feel better but I was so upset that I shook my head. A simple hug was not going to help.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I whispered. I was so hurt. Devastated more like.

“Rhia, it wasn’t exactly something to bring up in every day conversation. I never meant to keep anything from you. We-” His voice was low, matching mine.

“Kellen, you had many opportunities to tell me. More than enough time. Remember the night we talked about Renee, across the portal? You could have told me everything then. Instead you kept it to yourself on purpose. That is very deceitful.” I was getting angry, interrupting him in my anguish.

“Deceitful? Rhiannon, I didn’t think the timing was right. I didn’t want to upset you. It was a special time for us. I decided to wait until the right moment.” He sounded defensive.

What right did he have to act that way?

“You mean you wanted to wait until you
needed
to tell me. How is that not deceitful? Kellen, I am so hurt. I just don’t know.”

I sniffled, wiping at my tear stained face, standing up and walking toward the door.

He stood and started pacing. “What are you saying? What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I don’t know Kellen. I don’t know about being with someone who can’t communicate with me or be truthful. I don’t know about being with someone who keeps secrets from me and doesn’t consider that a big deal,” I told him angrily.

He looked at me in surprise and then his expression turned angry too.

“Rhiannon, this is ridiculous. You keep things from me too. Besides, I really was going to tell you soon. I can’t help it that she showed up here today.”

Nice try but that was not enough to convince me nor was it a valid point.

“Don’t make this about me Kellen. This is about what
you
did.” I took a deep breath trying to force air into my aching chest. “I need some fresh air. Please don’t follow me.”