The Hardest Part (10 page)

"
Nothing. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I just know where you and Lexi met, but she didn't tell me anything. My assumptions are my own."

Of course Lexi didn't tell him anything. She didn't know anything about me.

We stared at each other for a long second before Reed's phone rang, making me jump. He held the phone to his ear, staring at me with the same serious yet regretful expression.

"
Peters," he said, never taking his eyes off me. "Yes, I know." He paused and listened. Then he pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and bit down, clearly angry about something. "Dammit. I'll head there now. They were waiting for us outside a restaurant, too. Would you call Robbins and have him meet me at the back of Lexi's building? Yes. Thank you, Peters." He set the phone back down on the seat and let out a long, steady breath, not saying anything for a few seconds.

"
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. It's none of my business," he finally said.

"
It's fine." I sensed a change in him. The phone call he just received clearly upset him. He wouldn't look me in the eye and he was tapping his fingers nervously against his bouncing leg.

"
What was the phone call about?" I asked, knowing it was none of my business. I couldn't help but be curious when he mentioned Lexi's name.

"
It's Lexi." His voice broke on her name and he had to clear his throat. "The press swarmed her outside her apartment, asking questions, talking about the attack, saying horrible things. I guess trying to get her talking. It scared the shit out of her and now she won't come out of her bathroom. I'm headed over there after I drop you off."

"
Oh my God." I shook my head. "Why can't they just leave her alone? She's been through so much already." My heart ached for her. I couldn't imagine how scared she must have been. "I want to come with you."

His head turned to the side and his eyes locked with mine.
"You don't have to, Emily. I can take care of my sister."

"
She's my friend. I want to be there for her."

He and the driver exchanged a brief look and then the car pulled into the right lane, turned around, and headed back toward the Upper East Side.

"
This is the reason I left the city, the reason I stayed away for so long," he stated, staring out the window. "I left because I wasn't strong enough to deal with what happened. It hurt too much to look at Lexi and know what she’d gone through. To know that I wasn't there to save her and my parents." He raked his hand through his hair and then down his face. "Do you think I'm a horrible person for leaving her all alone?"

My stomach twisted and my heart squeezed.
What am I supposed to say to that? It’s difficult to judge someone’s actions unless you’ve been in their shoes, and even then, it’s still pretty difficult. To be honest, if it were me, I probably would’ve run, too.

"
Hey." Without thinking about it, I reached out and grabbed his shoulder. I just wanted to do something to comfort him. The pain was clear on his face and in his voice. "She's going to be okay." I consoled him. "She's strong. She'll get through this."

He looked at my hand and then up at me through hooded eyes. By the look on his face, he was feeling what I was feeling
—
the connection between us. My heart ached as I knew there was something there. I had felt it the last time I’d touched him or when we were within a few feet of one another. Our pasts were so different and yet we were both running from them. Reed was trying to get away from the guilt and agony over what happened to his parents and Lexi. I was running from fear and pain, trying to start over. I wanted to help him. I wanted to do whatever was in my power to erase any pain or guilt he was feeling. But I knew what that meant. In order for him to let me in and tell me his feelings, it meant I had to let him in and tell him everything about myself. But I wasn’t quite ready for that… I wasn’t sure I’d ever be.

Taking my hand away slowly, I sat back in my seat. I knew touching him last night was going too far and here I was doing it again. Even if I wanted to get to know him better, I knew things could never work between us. His life was too public, surrounded by reporters and paparazzi. Those were the last two things I needed in my life. Those two things didn't match up with the low profile I was trying to keep. I was starting to wonder if maybe working the Black and White event was a mistake, too.

"
I think I made a mistake," Reed said, stealing my thoughts. "Maybe this event wasn't such a good idea after all. When Lexi called me a couple months ago and told me she was ready to do this again, I thought it could be a good thing. I thought it would help her, but dammit…" He paused, trying to keep his frustration under control. "It's just bringing back old fucking ghosts. What was I thinking when I agreed to this?"

My hand reached out to touch him again, to console him, but I stopped just before it reached him. Instead, I sat there in silence, knowing that touching him again could give him the wrong message. As far as I was concerned, Reed and I were business acquaintances and that’s the way we would stay.

We pulled up to the back of Lexi's building where a tall, broad-shouldered man that I'd never seen before stood beside the door, holding it open for us. He looked similar to Hercules and the Hulk, but this guy was older. He had a head full of salt-and-pepper hair yet still looked like he could take on a man twenty years his junior.

Reed's hand was on the small of my back as we walked toward him. This time, I didn't pull away.

"
Thanks for coming so quickly, Robbins," Reed said as we walked toward the elevators.

Robbins nodded and held the elevator door open for us.

Reed kept his hand on the small of my back as we rode up the elevator and until we entered Lexi's condo. I can’t lie and say that I didn’t like his touch. It felt warm, strong, and safe.

When we entered the living room, I saw Brandon pacing the room while Lexi's two bodyguards stood near the window. Reed and Robbins immediately made their way over to them as I made my way over to Brandon.

The guy was a mess. His face had a mix of relief and sadness when he saw me.

"
She won't talk to me, Emily," Brandon mumbled as I approached him, looking like he was about to lose it right there in front of me. "I don't know what she's doing in there. I'm going crazy. I'm about to break down the goddamn door."

"
Hey, hey, just calm down for a second and tell me what happened," I said. I'd never seen him like this. He was usually the one telling me to calm down
—
the few times I had lost my cool in class.

His nostrils flared; he looked like he wanted to punch something.
"Those asshole reporters cornered us on the way home from dinner. By the time I knew what was going on, they had swarmed her. I couldn't get to her. They were shouting at her, saying horrible things, asking her all sorts of questions…" His voice dropped down to a whisper. "God, Emily. It was awful… the things they said. Peters and Warren finally pushed through them and I was able to get to her, but she wouldn't say a word to me. The second we got back to the condo, she ran into the bathroom and locked the door. I can hear her crying in there and it's killing me."

I pulled him in for a hug and then glanced over to Reed who was looking in our direction. He stared at me for a moment before turning back toward Peters and Warren. Robbins was already heading out of the condo. I wondered where he was going.

"
She may talk to you," Brandon said, his voice strained, desperate.

"
I'll see what I can do." Pulling away, I gave him a small smile and then made my way over through her bedroom to the closed bathroom door. I knocked lightly but got no response.

"
Lexi, it's Emily. Can I come in? I just want to talk." Still nothing, until after a few seconds. Then I heard the lock roll over. I glanced back to Brandon. He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath of relief.

I turned the knob slowly, opening the door. Lexi was sitting on top of the toilet seat. Her knees were close to her chest with her arms wrapped around them. Her face was red and her eyes puffy.

"
Hey," I said, cautiously walking toward her.

"
Hey," she croaked out and put her head down into her hands. "I don't know what happened. I just flipped out." Her voice broke on the last word.

"
Hey, you're allowed to flip out. What they did to you tonight was wrong, Lexi."

She sniffed and wiped her cheeks.
"I've been trying so hard. I thought doing this charity event would be good for me, good for Reed and me." She closed her eyes as tears ran down her cheeks. "I wanted to feel close to my mom again, but I'm not sure if it's the right thing anymore."

I knelt down beside her and wrapped my arms around her. I didn’t know what else to do or say to her.

"
Brandon must think I'm a freak." She sniffed and shook her head.

"
He's worried about you. He cares about you."

She sniffed again.
"I know he does. I just don't know what he sees in me. I mean, look at me." She raised her hands, pointed at her scars, and then wrapped her arms tighter around her knees. "I'm so messed up… inside and out." She let out a small whimper before resting her head back on her knees.

"
I’m looking and I see you. You're beautiful and sweet. He's lucky to have you. I know how hard that is… to feel worth it… to feel like you're good enough and deserve to be loved. You are, Lexi. You just need to believe it, too."

A soft knock startled us both. Reed stuck his head in and I stood up, knowing what a mess he was and how badly he wanted to make sure his sister was all right. I glanced down at Lexi and she nodded, giving me a small smile of reassurance.

As I walked out the door, Reed grabbed my hand, making my breath catch.

"
Thank you." His eyes bored into mine as his thumb caressed the top of my hand. My heart melted at the way he looked at me. It was at that moment that I knew I wanted to get to know this man. The hardest part was that I wasn’t sure if that was the right choice or how I would do it without letting out all of my pain along with it.

"
Sure," I whispered.

Brandon was sitting on the bed. He jumped up when he saw me.
"How is she?"

"
She'll be okay. The cameras and people, it just freaked her out."

"
God, Emily. What do I do? She won't talk to me. I want her to let me in, but she keeps shutting me out."

My heart broke for him. He clearly cared for her. However, I knew how hard it was to let anyone in after you'd been hurt so badly.
"Just keep doing what you're doing," I assured him. "Be patient, and she'll talk when she's ready. You can't force it."

"
I just care about her so much."

"
She knows."

The bathroom door opened again. Lexi stood there with Reed close behind her, his hands on her shoulders. Brandon moved slowly toward her, afraid to spook her or make her upset again. Lexi took a couple steps toward him and when she was close enough, she fell into him, wrapping her arms around his waist.

My eyes connected with Reed's and then I turned to walk out of the room, wanting to give Lexi and Brandon some privacy.

"
Would you like a ride home?" Reed asked after he closed her bedroom door behind him. "The reporters are still out front and there's still the car waiting for us out back."

"
That would be great."

On the way back to my apartment, the two of us sat in silence until Reed's phone rang. I studied his face as he answered. The frustration and worry it held previously had returned. For a moment, I was afraid something was wrong with Lexi again.

He shoved his phone down into his pocket and shook his head.

"
What is it?" I asked, my heart thumping hard against my chest. His expression was beginning to scare me.

Out of the corner of his eye, he looked over at me.
"That was Robbins. Earlier, I heard the reporters calling your name. I'm not sure how they got it, but when I sent Robbins to check your apartment, he found it covered with reporters. I don’t know how they moved so fast. It didn't take them long to find out who you were or where you lived."

"
What?" My stomach clenched and I suddenly felt ill. "They know where I live? They're there right now?"

He nodded.
"I'm really sorry, Emily."

I barely heard his words.
The press is at my apartment. My apartment!
Fear crawled up my spine and my mouth went dry with fear.

"
Emily." Reed's concerned voice caused my thoughts to dissolve. "I'm so sorry. I know it's a lot for you to take in."

I stared back at him. For a second, I wanted to scream at him. Tell him he had no idea what this could to do to me. The problems it could cause for me.