The Healing (11 page)

Samuel felt his defenses rise. “You have nothing to worry about, Mama Fannie. Bonnie’s a nice woman, and most of the time she’s not even around when I’m working. She’s often out shopping or working in some other part of the house.”

“Can’t you take one of the kinner with you when you’re over there? That way no one can say anything about you being alone with a woman.”

“As you know, my two older ones are in school all day, and I’m not about to bring the younger ones to work with me.” Samuel grunted. “They’d only get in the way.”

“But don’t you think—”

“I hate to cut this short, but there are some things I need to get done yet today, so I’d better go,” Samuel said, cutting her off in mid-sentence.

“Oh. I see.”

Samuel knew from the tone of her voice that he’d hurt her feelings, so he quickly added, “It’s been good talking to you, Mama Fannie. Tell Dad and the rest of the family I said hello.”

“Okay. Tell your kinner I said hello, too. Oh, and tell Marla I’ll be mailing her birthday card out to her soon.”

“I will. Bye.” Samuel quickly hung up the phone. If Mama Fannie was going to badger him about working for Bonnie, he might make fewer calls home. He knew her intentions were good, but sometimes she didn’t know when to quit. He didn’t remember her being this way when he was young and figured it might have something to do with her age. Their bishop said once that the older a person got, the more they worried about things.

Paradise, Pennsylvania

When Timothy arrived home after helping Zach and his crew paint the inside of a grocery store, he was disappointed that he didn’t find Hannah in the kitchen. He was tired and hungry and hoped she’d have supper waiting for him. Painting all day was hard work, but the money he earned paid the bills and kept him busy during the winter months when he wasn’t able to farm.

He was about to head down the hall to see if she was in the living room when he spotted a note on the kitchen table. It was from Hannah and said that she’d taken Mindy and gone to her folks’ house to help her mother clean and do some baking. She also said there was a container of vegetable soup in the refrigerator that Timothy could heat for his supper.

He frowned. It seemed like Hannah’s mother was more important than him. But then that was really nothing new. Hannah was tied to her mother’s apron strings and thought she had to be over there nearly every day. When Hannah wasn’t at her folks’, her mother was over at their place. It was getting old, and Timothy was tired of it.

He draped his jacket over the back of a chair and took a kettle and a bowl out of the cupboard. He’d just started heating the soup when the back door opened and his mother entered the house.

“I’m surprised to see you, Mom. What are you doing here at this time of the day?” he asked.

Her forehead wrinkled. “Is that any way to greet your mamm?”

“Sorry. I just figured you’d be at home having supper right now.”

“We already ate, and when your daed fell asleep in his recliner, I decided to come over here and talk to you about something.” She glanced at the single bowl he’d set on the table. “Where’s the rest of your family? It looks like you’re planning to eat alone.”

He nodded. “Hannah and Mindy are at her folks’ house.”

Mom’s lips compressed. “Again? She seems to go there a lot.”

Timothy merely shrugged and said, “What’d you want to talk to me about?”

“Not what, but whom. Samuel, to be exact.”

“What about him?”

“Did you know that he’s been working for an English woman who’s planning to open a bed-and-breakfast this spring?”

“Jah, I heard about that. From what Samuel said, Bonnie Taylor’s a very nice woman.”

“Well when I spoke with Samuel on the phone earlier today, I told him that I didn’t think it was a good idea for him to be alone with this woman, and he got defensive.”

“Can you blame him, Mom?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Timothy could see by his mother’s pinched expression that he’d hurt her feelings. “I just think you to need to remember that your boys are grown men now, and we have the right to make our own choices—even if what we decide doesn’t go along with your thinking.”

“I don’t mean to be overbearing,” she said sincerely. “I’m just concerned.”

“I know your intentions are good, but I’m sure there’s nothing to be worried about where Samuel’s concerned. I think you ought to concentrate on keeping Dad happy.”

Her eyes narrowed. “What do you mean? Has your daed told you he’s unhappy?”

“No, no, of course not. I just meant that Dad should be your primary concern, not your grown children.”

“Are you saying I shouldn’t be concerned about my kinner?”

“I’m not saying that at all, but I think you worry too much.” Timothy wished they could start this conversation over. Every word he said seemed to make Mom more agitated.

“I probably do worry too much,” she admitted, “but I can’t seem to help it. I just want what’s best for everyone.”

“God doesn’t want us to worry, Mom. You’ve told all of your kinner that at one time or another.”

“You’re right, I have, and I’ll try not to worry or interfere.” Mom gave Timothy a hug. “I love you, son.”

“I love you, too.”

She smiled and turned toward the door. “Guess I’d better head for home now, before your daed wakes up and misses me. If you talk to Samuel anytime soon, please don’t mention that I spoke to you about him working for that English woman,” she requested as she went out the door.

“I won’t say a thing,” he called to her retreating form.

As Timothy continued to heat his soup, he thought about his conversation with Mom and hoped she would be careful not to pester Samuel about working for the English woman. Samuel wore his emotions on his sleeve since Elsie died, and if Mom wasn’t careful, she might push him away. Could Mom’s constant pressuring be one of the reasons Samuel had moved to Kentucky, or was it simply because he needed a fresh start?

Wish I could start over someplace new, Timothy thought. If Hannah wasn’t so dependent on her mother, I might think about moving to Kentucky, too
.

E
sther smiled to herself as she guided her horse and buggy down the road toward Titus’s house. It was the first Saturday in February, and she had plans to meet Suzanne and take Samuel’s kids sledding. Esther had enjoyed sledding since she was a girl and used to race her older brothers, James and Dan, down the hill behind their house. Besides, a day of sledding meant she wouldn’t have to be alone. It was quiet and lonely in the house since Mom and Dad had moved to Pennsylvania. She missed them both so much. At times she found herself wishing she’d moved there with them, but if she had, she wouldn’t have met Samuel’s children. Spending time with them had filled a void in her life that she hadn’t even realized was there. The children seemed to need her—especially since Samuel paid so little attention to them.

Esther thought about the other day when she’d been holding Jared in her lap as she visited with Penny, who sat on the floor playing with her doll. Both children were equally sweet, each in a different way. Even though Jared could be a bit rambunctious at times, he always obeyed, as did Samuel’s other children. Esther had noticed that they weren’t nearly as obedient with their father, but maybe that was because he ignored them so much of the time. Could they be using their disobedience as a way to get his attention? She knew Samuel was still grieving over his wife’s death, but she wished he would wake up and realize all that he was missing by ignoring the children and being so harsh when he was with them.

When Esther had seen Titus the other day, he’d agreed to go sledding with them and said he’d try to talk Samuel into joining them, too. From what she’d observed and what the children had told her, Samuel did nothing for fun. He was either working or sleeping. That meant when Titus got home from work each day, he not only had the responsibility of doing the cooking and cleaning, but he had to keep an eye on Samuel’s children. Esther wondered how things would be once Samuel had a place of his own.

If he ever gets a place of his own, she thought. What if Samuel plans to stay with Titus indefinitely? Poor Suzanne might end up with a ready-made family. Would that mean she’d have to quit working with Titus and Nelson at the woodshop in order to care for the kinner, or will Samuel want me to continue caring for them?

Esther’s horse snorted, pulling her thoughts aside. Ginger seemed to like the snow, prancing along with her head held high, blowing what looked like steam from her nostrils.

It is beautiful
, Esther thought as she noticed the trees along the road, heaving with snow, bending down to touch the glistening ground. Seeing the beauty God had created made Esther feel closer to Him.

Ginger whinnied a greeting as they passed another horse and buggy, and Esther waved when she saw it was Ethan Zook, one of their minister’s sons. Ethan waved in response and tipped his hat in her direction. Apparently he’d left his buggy outside last night and hadn’t taken the time to clean the snow off this morning, for it was covered with white.

Esther knew that some folks saw the snowflakes piling up into drifts across the road as a nuisance, but she saw the beauty in it. The frosty cold clung tightly to the earth now, but in another month spring would be here and all signs of snow would most likely be gone.
Spring
, she thought wistfully.
Even in the oldest folks, it brings out a burst of youthful energy. I think just about everyone loves the feeling of freedom after being cooped up during the cold winter months
.

Lost in thought, Esther smiled at what spring would bring when it arrived in all its glory. She could almost hear the bubbling sounds as streams flowed from the melting snow and the birds singing joyfully as they migrated home. Oh how she welcomed spring’s unfolding splendor and the warmth in the breeze. But for now, she was content to enjoy the moment of this winter’s solace.

Esther breathed in the scent of pine, heavier in the air from branches recently broken with the weight of ice and snow. Overhead, a hawk’s shrill cry was joined by the crows announcing their protest.

When she pulled into Titus’s yard a short time later, she noticed Suzanne’s buggy parked outside the barn.

She climbed down from her own buggy and was about to unhitch the horse when Titus stepped out of the barn. “I’ll put Ginger away for you,” he said, joining her beside the horse.

“Danki.” She motioned to the back of the buggy. “I brought three sleds with me, so while you take care of my horse, I’ll get them out of the buggy. Oh, do you know if Suzanne brought any sleds we can use?”

Titus shrugged. “I’m not sure. She’s in the house right now, helping the kinner get into their boots.”

“Is Samuel going with us today?”

Titus turned his hands palm up. “I don’t know. I asked, but he never said. You can ask him, too, if you like.”

“I might do that.” Esther hurried to the back of the buggy, took out the sleds, and leaned them against the side of the barn. Then she trudged her way through the drifts up to the house.

When she stepped inside, she was greeted by four exuberant children wearing boots, heavy jackets, stocking caps, and mittens. All except for Penny, who only wore one mitten.

“I can’t find my
fauschthensching
,” Penny said, holding up her hand.

Esther chuckled. “It’s right here.” She reached around behind the child and lifted the mitten that dangled down her back from under her hat.

Penny squinted. “Now how’d that get there?”

Everyone laughed. Everyone but Samuel, who sat slouched on the sofa, looking like he was half asleep.

“Are you going sledding with us?” Esther asked.

He shook his head.

“What do you plan to do all day?” Titus asked when he entered the house.

“Ich daed yuscht so lieb gear nix duh,” Samuel said
.

Esther looked at Suzanne and slowly shook her head. She couldn’t believe Samuel had said he would just as soon do nothing, when he could spend the morning having fun with his children. Was he really that depressed?

“Please come with us, Daadi,” Leon pleaded. “You never do nothin’ fun with us since Mammi died.”

“Ich fiehl saddle schlect heit
.” Samuel stood and ambled out of the room.

Titus turned to Suzanne. “Since my bruder has just told the kids that he feels out of sorts, I think I’d better forget about sledding and stay home with him today.”

“Oh.” Suzanne’s look of disappointment, as she dipped her head, was as clear as the sorrowful expression on Leon’s face. Esther’s heart ached for her friend. Suzanne had obviously counted on Titus joining them. Esther felt bad for Samuel’s children, too. Didn’t Samuel realize that going sledding with the children might lift his spirits? He’d never recover from his loss if he didn’t do anything fun. Esther remembered that after Suzanne’s dad died, their whole family grieved, but when her Grandpa suggested they all go fishing one afternoon, there had been a change in Suzanne’s mother, who seemed more positive about life after that, which in turn, caused everyone else in their family to become more joyous.