The Heart Series: Complete Boxed Set (71 page)

“I’ll just zip it then,” He huffed as we all rolled our eyes.

“What time is it?” Sam asked and I checked my watch.

“Three minutes to go,” Joel piped up.

“Oh my god, I’m going to be sick,” I said, doubling over so my head was between my legs. Joel stroked my back soothingly as I tried to regulate my breathing.

I literally did a countdown in my head, my heart beating more rapidly with each second that took me closer. I wanted to be sick, the panic inside was rising so rapidly I could feel my body almost go into meltdown.

Our text alerts went off telling us the link was live, Sam quickly typed in the title. We waited with bated breath for the link to load. It took what felt like forever though it was barely seconds when it came up. Elijah squealed making us all jump as the Black Eyed Peas filled the room, and we all sat transfixed staring at the laptop screen.

“Oh my god, Izzy, that was one epic close up,” Elijah shrieked as I stared at myself on screen. Joel squeezed me and pressed a kiss against my cheek as I just continued to stare slowly taking it all in.

After the choreographed dance finished, it went into the freestyle, the camera panned around us all, stopping on Elijah, he squealed, we all jumped. I could sense there was a pattern developing.

The camera came to rest on me again as I watched in complete awe, amazed at my fluidity. It was strange to see yourself on screen, to watch yourself dance. I was shocked at how calm I looked in the moment. You could tell by my face that I was so absorbed that nothing in that space of time truly mattered. It was just me becoming lost in the music. The camera was on me for what felt like forever before it went onto shoot others in our class.

“Fuck Iz, you were amazing. You are going to get lots of interest from this,” Elijah remarked as I blushed. I was hoping that some good would come from it after all I’d worked my arse off these last two weeks.

“Iz, you looked beautiful there. I saw your face before you went on and I’ve never seen you look so nervous in my life, but once the music started, it was like you flicked a switch, something inside you stirred and I knew that would be just fine. Watching you out there, I couldn’t have been any prouder. This is one moment that I’ll always remember, I’m so glad I got to share it with you,” Joel said, looking slightly emotional himself.

It was all too much, I could no longer hold back the tears. This whole day had been so overwhelming that eventually I knew that I wouldn’t be able to hold it back a moment longer.

“I hope those are happy tears, Iz?” Joel asked, brushing them away.

“They are, I’m just so stunned seeing myself on screen. You watch yourself in a mirror, but to see myself there amongst hundreds of people, to watch the way we interacted together, it was just something I’d never experienced before. It was breathtaking.”

“That’s what everyone thought. This is going to be huge, it will go viral soon. Elijah, refresh to see how many hits it has had yet,” Joel asked.

Elijah clicked and we waited for the screen to reload. “Holy shit, we are at 20k. I need to put it on my Facebook page. Iz, I’ll tag you and get everyone sharing, this thing will go viral if it kills me.”

He spent the next thirty minutes ‘networking’ as he called it, he had well over three thousand friends so we had high hopes that they would get it trending on Twitter and shared on FB. There was lots of buzz and our text alerts went off as we all messaged each other back and forth. My notifications hit a hundred, and my eyes widened as I watched the likes build on Elijah’s link. Sam refreshed and YouTube had gone up by five thousand. We all squealed as we watched in awe as the numbers continued to climb. I got tagged in more links to our YouTube video, and I couldn’t believe the figures as we watched them rise by the hour. All the comments were really positive, and we watched in surprise as our video went viral. At fifty thousand, I almost hyperventilated. By a hundred thousand, I almost collapsed. We had never prepared for figures like this. We were all completely astounded to what was happening around us. The college website crashed with that many people trying to access it at a time, the Facebook like page went up by five thousand; everything just felt surreal. Joel looked on in complete wonder whereas Elijah was just quietly working away, getting people to share the link over and over.

By the end of the day, we had reached two hundred and fifty thousand views. By this time it had just gone beyond surreal, it was like a dream. I hoped it would be big, but the realistic part of me was telling me to hang fire and not get ahead of myself. But staring at the figure in front of me I could only dream what this could mean for all of us involved.

Elijah and Sam eventually headed home, it looked like Elijah would be glued to the phone all the night. He wanted way more hits, and he wasn’t settling for anything less. I could imagine him continuing all through the night, barely drawing breath. I didn’t know where he got the energy from I was completely beat. Mike had rang and congratulated me telling me had watched it earlier with Kara and loved it, and I patiently waited for my dad to ring with his verdict. He had almost got teary which wasn’t a complete shock, he was always so free with his emotions. He told me how proud he was and how he got it trending in Australia too, which I had to laugh. He wasn’t into the whole social media side, though he had set up a profile page that currently had thirty friends so I wasn’t really hoping for anything much, but thanked him for any input he could have.

The whole day had been one long dream, the emotions and feelings I had experienced today had been something I had never felt to this extreme before. I guess this was my first working job, we weren’t being paid, just participating was enough. But I was happy to have it on my work CV, to have the video out there showcasing my abilities. All the nerves, the agony beforehand had been more than worth it for those unbelievable twenty minutes that had changed everything. For the first time in a while I felt excited about what lay ahead, what was in store, and that possibly something good might be in the pipeline. I needed that hope to feel that good things were indeed ahead. I had felt so beaten down these last few months. Rejection was indeed a tough pill to swallow, but as my dad always said when one door closes, another one opens. It was something he had always lived by, it was his mantra and one that I had often dismissed, especially in my darkest hour when doubt crept in like a cruel reminder that I just wasn’t good enough. But today had been a good day, today had been the best day and as the clock finally struck twelve, I sighed and made a silent wish that tomorrow would bring something more amazing. Tomorrow would be the moment of truth and I for one couldn’t wait for the new day to start.

The moment my eyes sprang open, I sat bolt upright causing Joel to stir.

“Fuck, Iz, you nearly give me a heart attack,” he groaned.

I grabbed my laptop and quickly refreshed the YouTube page. We were now at one million views, I just stared at the screen, too shocked to even process a thought.

“Looks like Elijah’s magic has certainly worked,” Joel commented over my shoulder.

It certainly had, I wondered if he had even slept.

I clicked on the Facebook page and the amount of likes had risen by a few more thousand, the video had now been shared over three hundred thousand times, it was just absolutely crazy.

I dialed Elijah’s number, and he answered with a sleepy hello. It was pretty evident that he was only just getting to bed now.

“Did I wake you?”

“Nope, I haven’t been to bed yet,” he mumbled.

“Elijah, that’s crazy.”

“I know but it worked didn’t it.” He was a little short tempered, but I put it down to lack of sleep.

“Well yeah, I had to pick my jaw up from the floor this morning. I couldn’t believe the increase in views.” It had totally astounded me.

“I have lots of dance groups on Facebook that were quick to share the vid and get it circulating, Twitter has been just as crazy. We were in the top ten trends at one point. Even I’m blown away by it all.”

And he wasn’t easily impressed.

“Wow, and you never are, it takes a lot for you to get excited.”

“Hopefully I’ve done our job in putting our college on the world map. I think we deserved it after all the hard work we put in. I didn’t want it to go unnoticed.” He sighed sounding weary. It sounded like it had completely taken it out of him.

“Trust me when I say that you definitely did that.” All the hard work he had put in was amazing.

“Then my work is done, now I don’t think Sam will let me down any more red bulls, so I’m going to have to give in and take forty winks because I don’t think I can keep my eyes open a moment longer.” He yawned.

“I think you deserve the break, I’ll call you later.”

“Bye Iz,” he muttered before the line went dead.

I hung up and sighed. He truly had been a great advocate for helping the college take centre stage. I was lost in my own thoughts when Joel strolled in wearing just a towel and instantly my mind was brought back to the here and now. The devilish grin on his face told me he more than had something up his sleeve to keep me busy.

* * *

My phone rang a while later, I was just fresh from the shower pulling on my sweats when it went off. I looked at the screen to find it wasn’t a number I recognized. I wasn’t really one to answer private numbers, but on this occasion, I decided I would.

“Hello, can I speak to Isabelle Adams?” a business like voice asked.

“Speaking,” I answered hesitantly.

“Hello Isabelle, my name is Lorna and I’m ringing from LBC casting agency. We’ve recently been alerted of a YouTube video that went live yesterday. We are currently doing some test screenings for Fame, which is currently touring the country. It’s about half way through its tour and is taking a month’s break. One of our dancers has to drop out due to personal reasons and we have to quickly set up some auditions as a replacement, I was wondering if you would be free to come for an audition on Friday?”

What?

I stood there speechless.

“Hello? Are you still there?”

“Yes, sorry— Yes, Friday is fine.” I was actually working, but I wasn’t about to turn this kind of audition down. I knew Joel would find cover for me.

“Great, well if I can take your email then I can send you all the documents, have you fill out the forms and sign. Also bring some photographic ID, your birth certificate and please wear the appropriate clothes. The audition will last ten minutes, so please prepare some music and be ready to perform. Auditions start at ten a.m. sharp, and there will be nine others we are interested in. As this is just for one role, competition will be fierce, so please make sure you are very prepared to give yourself more of a chance.”

My heart sunk for a few moments I was hopeful but to now have a one in ten chance was just agonizing. But it was an audition, an amazing audition, and I had to give my all.

“Okay, thank you.”

“We look forward to seeing you then.”

“Bye.” A million thoughts raced through my head, but I had no time for distractions so I quickly changed and headed down to the dance club. I had booked a room and was grateful that I had the whole day to prepare for the job at hand.

Joel’s reaction to the news hadn’t been as well received as I thought. He was ecstatic about the whole auditioning part until I gave him the killer news that it was for a tour, but all I could think about was the chance to be on stage. I was going to grab this opportunity with both hands. There was a great chance I wouldn’t get it but that couldn’t be a possibility, if I allowed any negativity to cloud my mind then there was no point in going. I had to be positive and put together a routine that was as equally as good as the YouTube video. I would keep the elements that worked for me whilst tweaking others, so that the energy of the dance would be more up-tempo. As this was for five minutes not twenty, I would be able to do more in the time slot and show them I was more than capable of pushing myself to the limit. This audition was about selling every single part of me, and I had to go into it ready to put on the best performance of my life. A part of me was fearful that something could go wrong but a part of me welcomed the fear, it was more than enough to drive me to strive to be the best.

* * *

The morning of the audition arrived and to say I was a bag of nerves would be an understatement. I guess it was to be expected, but I tried to keep my mind focused, after all, concentrating on the negative was not an option. I had filled out all the paperwork, got together the appropriate documents and headed for the audition. As luck would have it, they had hired out a room at my college so directions were not a problem. Entering, I was greeted by my old tutor who was walking along with a pile of new paperwork for the new year. She smiled and came over.

“Hey Izzy, don’t tell me you’re bored with the outside world and wanted to come and do it all over again?” Miss Bryce said, laughing, walking towards me.

“I wish but no I’m here for the auditions for Fame.”

Her eyes widened slightly. “Wow, I was told that they are happening in the main hall. I’d like to say I’m surprised, but you’ve always shone brightly. Good luck and if you do get it don’t forget to give me a mention in your bio.” She winked.

“I’ll keep you in mind.” I chuckled

“But seriously good luck, focus and know I have my every faith that you can succeed.” She patted my arm reassuringly.

“There are nine others auditioning so . . .” My words trailed off.

“Then you’ve got to bring your game. You only get one shot, so make it count.”

“I know, oh I’d better get going, it starts in ten minutes.” I did not want to be late.

“You’ll be fine, Izzy, make us proud.”

I smiled and walked off feeling even more nervous when I saw the other nine lined up and waiting. They looked me up and down, summing me up with that one stare. I took a long draw from my water bottle and sighed.

Stay calm.

I couldn’t let them see my nerves.

When they called out the first name, I breathed a sigh of relief, I did not want to go first. I was glad for the five-minute reprieve that it brought me, where I could mentally get into the mindset and focus.

My name was called third and I took a deep breath.

This was it, don’t get scared.

This was what I’d been waiting for, finally to have my moment to shine.

“Hello Isabelle, you may leave your things by the side and please stand by the x provided. I smiled and placed my bag down, my throat immediately grew tight and I longed for a drink, but with all eyes on me I knew that wasn’t possible.

The music filled the hall and I counted my way in, losing myself to the beat as I danced my heart out on the floor. Each step came so effortlessly, the nerves just instantly evaporated, and I smiled knowing for the first time since I received the call I felt myself unwind as the moves became natural to me. I barely had to think I had practiced so hard that it was almost ingrained into me what was next. The minutes ticked by as I gave my all, fighting to be the one they would pick. It was like everything had come together in that one moment. Everything suddenly made sense and I knew that this was, without a shadow of doubt, what I was born to do.

As the music died and the room filled with silence, I focused on the four pair of eyes that had never left me. Their expressions gave me no indicator as to if they were impressed, in fact they looked anything but, my heart immediately sank even more so when they dismissed me from the room without even a second glance. I gathered my things and left with my heart dragging along the floor.

I headed towards the toilet and once inside the cubicle promptly cried. All the hard work and effort had been for nothing. It had all been one massive failure. For a while when I was out there I felt like it was my moment. From the looks on their faces, they obviously thought different.

I clicked on my mobile and debated whether or not to tell Joel. I knew he’d be anxiously waiting, but I didn’t want to give him the bad news just yet. After blowing my nose and splashing my face, I grabbed my stuff and made a swift exit, stopping off on the way home to buy a huge tub of Ben & Jerry’s. If I was wallowing in my own misery then I was doing it in style.

Twenty spoonfuls later I pushed the tub aside, I guess ice cream really wasn’t a great substitute for a breakfast. I groaned at the dull ache in my stomach and curled up into a ball, slowly giving into my tired and weary body.

A finger stroked along my cheek and I sighed, I heard a soft, sweet voice whisper my name over and over until I was slowly roused from my sleep. I peeped open an eye to find a concerned looking Joel frowning at me.

“Iz, I’ve been worried sick, I’ve rang you ten times. I take it from the ice cream coma that things didn’t go well?”

“That’s the thing, I gave it my all and it still wasn’t enough. When I finished I expected well something, not blank faces but a little enthusiasm would have been nice. They just told me to leave. So I did. Then my legs took me to the shops and the next thing I knew Ben & Jerry’s was in my hand, and well the rest well is history.

“You’ve barely left any.” He flicked his finger around the tub, sucking on it before sighing. “So you don’t think you got it then?”

“No, Joel, I’m almost certain I was a complete flop, maybe I have delusions of grandeur and I think I’m way better than I am,” I ranted. Totally taking my rage out on him.

He grabbed my chin urging me to look in his eyes. “Trust me, you are amazing.”

“Yeah, well, you have to say that because you’re my boyfriend.” I shrugged my face away in annoyance.

“Hey I don’t bullshit anyone. I watched you out there and never took my eyes off you the whole time. You were outstanding, beyond unbelievable and if they can’t see that then it’s their loss.”

“Thanks,” I muttered. He was trying his best to lift my mood, but right now it was on the floor.

“You’re welcome, now come on, I’m cooking you a bacon sandwich to get some proper food into you.” He headed towards the kitchen.

“I am rather peckish now.” My stomach grumbled in agreement as I followed him.

“Well, let’s get this thing going.”

“Don’t you have to be back at work?” I asked confused.

“I got an hour off, the pub is quiet. They can cope, you come first. I was going stir crazy calling you and when you didn’t pick up I thought the worst.”

Now I felt bad.

“Sorry, I silenced my phone before I went in and forgot to turn it back on,”

“Well, at least I know you’re fine.” He turned back to pull out the plates from the cupboard.

“My ego may be a little bruised. I just really wanted it. I thought this was my chance. I don’t know. I’ve been really down about all the other failed auditions, and then this came along and gave me renewed hope but I just feel like I’m back to square one.”

“Something else will come along you’ll see.”

I clenched my teeth in anger. “Please stop saying that. You don’t know that, this could be it for me just an endless line of failed auditions, never moving forward, just stuck working behind a bar.” I wanted to cry at just the thought of it.

“There are far worse jobs, you know,” Joel snapped, looking annoyed.

“Joel, I didn’t work hard for three years to pull pints. I want more. I need more.”

So much more.

“Thanks,” he added, turning back in a huff.

“Oh don’t take offence, I just meant …”

“Yeah, I know what you meant. But it’s how I pay my bills and I love socializing, seeing the regulars, it’s a good job to me,” I could hear the bitterness in his voice.