The Heartbreak Cafe (17 page)

Jess
smiled. ‘Well, I missed you and wanted to surprise you.’

Placing
his overnight bag down, he loosened his tie and moved across the
room towards her. ‘What’s the special occasion?’ he asked, taking
her into his arms. ‘I didn’t forget our anniversary or something,
did I?’

Jess
laughed. ‘You know that’s months away. There’s no occasion really,’
she said, her heart thumping so loud she was sure he couldn’t hear
it. ‘I was back early today so I just thought it would be nice to
do something special.’

‘
You’re right, it is nice. And what a wonderful surprise, thank
you,’ he said, kissing her softly.

‘
So how was London?’ Jess asked, when they were seated at the
table. She poured them each a glass of pinot grigio, making extra
sure his was well filled. Tonight, she wanted her husband to be as
relaxed as possible.

‘
Ah not too bad, you know yourself. Actually, I’d rather not
talk about work – I’ve had it up to here with all the goings on.’
He took a sip from his glass and smiled appreciatively as Jess put
the steaming dinner plate in front of him. ‘How was your weekend?
Did you have a good time with the girls?’

‘
It was good fun.’

‘
Everything back to normal then – no more baby
talk?’

Jess
gulped. ‘Well, now that you mention that…’

‘
What, they were banging on about it again?’ He rolled his
eyes.

‘
Kind of but …well to be honest honey, all of that stuff kind
of got me thinking a little.’

‘
Oh – about what?’

‘
Well, about us, and our own …situation.’

Brian’s
fork stopped halfway to his mouth. ‘Our own
“situation”?’

‘
Yes, you know regarding that…department.’ So much for her big
pitch, Jess thought. As it was, she could barely get the words
out.

‘
Wait a minute,’ Brian said, looking at her. ‘Are we talking
about us having children?’

She
nodded, her eyes shining. ‘I was just thinking that maybe, you
know, it’s time.’

He was
silent as he stared at her. ‘This is about the girls again, isn’t
it?’ he said evenly.

Jess
stared down at the tablecloth; the relaxing mood that she’d worked
so carefully to cultivate was well and truly broken. ‘What? No,
this has nothing to do with them.’

‘
Ah Jess, come on, you’ve never been a good liar.’

‘
Well, it isn’t about my friends. It’s about us, and if you ask
me, it’s something I really feel we should be thinking about.
‘

A smile
played at the corners of his mouth. ‘Really. So this big welcome
home dinner has nothing to do with the fact that you were out with
Emer and Deirdre at the weekend, and all of sudden you want to have
a baby?’

‘
It’s not all of a sudden – I’ve been thinking about this for a
while actually.’

‘
For a while? Strange that you hadn’t mentioned it before that
thing with Emer. And do you honestly think that you having a baby
will help mend the problems with your friendship?’

How did
he do that? Jess thought. How did he hit the nail right on the
head?

‘
Honestly Jess, you should know better than to let this bother
you; those two are like a pair of ‘oul biddies since they moved
down to the sticks.’

‘
No, the girls have nothing to do with this Brian, honestly.
This is about us. This is about me. We’re …well, I’m getting old.’
She decided there was no choice but to call in the big guns and go
all out with the dramatics.

‘
Old?’ Brian chuckled. ‘You cannot be serious.’

‘
I am serious. I’m thirty-five and while we’re sitting here
talking about it, my eggs are drying up. I looked it up on the
internet, it’s a fact.’ Saying the words out loud was actually
harder than reading them on screen and despite herself, she felt
scared.

‘
Ah love, this has got to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever
heard…’

Jess’s
heart began to thump; this really wasn’t how she’d planned tonight
at all. She’d hoped for a calm, reasonable discussion about having
a baby. She certainly didn’t think Brian would be so against it;
didn’t men usually just go along with their wives on this kind of
decision? ‘Look we always said we would have a baby some day,
didn’t we?’ she pointed out. ‘But there’s no denying that whatever
you say, I am getting older, and soon it might be too
late.’

Brian’s
tone softened. ‘Sweetheart, of course we should think about having
a baby sometime, but don’t give me all this “old” business. Women
have babies well into their forties these days.’

‘
Well, I don’t want to be an older mum,’ Jess said dejectedly,
standing up and going into the kitchen. Brian followed her, but she
stood and faced the window, away from him. ‘A few more years and I
might have to follow my kid around in a walker.’

Brian
stood back, shaking his head. Then he sighed, and put his arms
around her. ‘Look, I know we always said we’d have children someday
and I’m still committed to that idea. But can’t you admit that
maybe some of this – even a teeny tiny bit of it might have been
brought on by you feeling left out of Emer and Deirdre’s mummy
club?’

‘
No.’

He
sighed. ‘Okay, if you can’t admit that, fine, I’ll go along with
it. But regardless, don’t you think that a decision like this, a
huge, momentous life-changing decision like having a baby deserves
a little more talk and planning?’

‘
Of course but –’

‘
Wait, let me finish. Don’t you think that maybe we should
discuss the practicalities, look at our finances, see if we still
have things we want to do before we commit to such a huge
change?’

‘
But our finances are fine,’ Jess argued. ‘And we can continue
to do whatever we want; the only difference is we’ll have a little
one to tag along.’

Brian
nuzzled Jess’s neck, ‘Love, you do realise a baby isn’t an
accessory, don’t you?’

Immediately she pushed her husband away. ‘Don’t patronise me,
Brian.’

‘
I’m only teasing, but you really should hear yourself,’ he
said pulling her back to him but again she wriggled away. ‘Can you
see that I’m really serious about this?’

‘
OK, duly noted,’ he said. ‘But come on, let’s not rush into
anything before we’re sure it’s right for us. Yes of course we can
start talking about it, but we also need to make sure that it’s
something we really want. Truthfully, I suggest you should let some
of this rubbish with the girls blow over before you even start
considering it seriously. Just because you’re feeling a bit left
out of their lives now isn’t a good enough reason for us to embark
on starting a family. That kind of clouded judgment won’t do anyone
any good, especially when you’re are talking about a decision as
big as this. Come on, you of all people should know that it isn’t
something to take lightly.’

‘
I do but …’ Jess sighed. Of course Brian was going to be all
methodical and logical about it, wasn’t he? Still, he did agree to
consider it, and that was something, wasn’t it? And seeing as the
idea had (however muddily) been pitched, maybe now it was just
about speeding up the selling process.

‘
So what do you think?’ he asked in conclusion.

‘
You promise we can talk about it?’

‘
Of course, but we aren’t going to jump into this
blindly.’

Not
exactly the answer she wanted, considering she’d already told the
girls they were trying, but it was close. ‘OK then, let’s talk
about it.’

‘
You mean now?’

‘
Why not?’

He ran a
hand through his hair. ‘Ah come on Jess, I’ve just got home after a
long hard week and another flight. I don’t have the energy,
emotional or otherwise, to even think about something like this
just now.’

‘
Tomorrow then?’

Brian
sighed heavily. ‘I have a long day tomorrow too, but fine OK,
tomorrow.’

‘
My clock is ticking, remember?’ she said,
half-jokingly.

‘
So is mine and every second we spend here talking about your
biological clock is one second closer to when I need to get up in
the morning.’

‘
Alright, alright,’ she decided to let the subject drop for
now.

‘
So, is that new?’ Brian asked, smiling at the raspberry
coloured lace peeking out at the V of her dress.

‘
It is actually,’ she said, smiling back at him.

He
encircled her in his arms and bent his head to kiss her. ‘Well
then, let’s try and make those seconds count.’

So be it,
Jess thought, as she kissed her husband. She’d laid the groundwork
and with a little more prodding, Brian would be on
board.

Because
while he might have won the battle tonight, he definitely wouldn’t
win the war.

On Monday
morning, Nina met Trish outside Lakeview public library where they
planned to search through old newspapers for relevant articles and
photographs for the charity book. They had phoned Ruth and asked
her to join them, but couldn’t contact her and neither one of them
had seen her since they’d met up at the cafe.

‘
What’s the story with those two?’ Nina had asked that day when
Ruth and Charlie went outside. It was obvious there was some kind
of history between them, but Nina hadn’t known Ruth well enough
back then to know whom she was or wasn’t seeing.

Trish was
unperturbed. ‘I suppose they’re just catching up. It’s impossible
to talk to Ruth these days without people gawping at you so I’d
imagine he wanted to talk to her in peace. Didn’t you see them all
staring when she was with us?’

Nina
hadn’t in fact, noticed anything untoward, but then again she’d
been sitting beside the actress and facing the other direction.
While she had no idea what was said, she figured it couldn’t have
been terribly positive considering that Ruth never returned to
their table.

‘
They were engaged you know,’ Trish told her, referring to Ruth
and Charlie.

‘
Really?’

‘
Yeah, well kind of, I heard he proposed but … Actually, I
can’t remember the exact jist of it, but it was around the time
Ruth really made it big on The Local. Obviously they broke up when
she moved to LA.’

‘
Right. That must have been tough.’ Nina wondered if this was
partly the reason Ruth had taken so long to return home. A broken
heart, perhaps? ‘I wonder why he didn’t go with her?’

‘
Charlie Mellon in Hollywood? You must be joking. The same man
can’t stand going to Dublin, so he’d hardly be cut out for La-La
Land.’

‘
I see.’ Sounded like Ruth had had to make a choice; a
glittering acting career or life as a Lakeview housewife. Knowing
what little of the girl she did, she suspected it wasn’t a
difficult one. Yet she wondered if Ruth had privately ever had any
regrets?

Since
then Nina had tried calling Ruth and had spoken to her briefly
about coming to the library, yet she seemed intent on keeping to
herself for the moment. Which was why she and Trish were on their
own this morning.

Going
into the library, they were escorted to a room out back by the
friendly head librarian. ‘I’m not sure if there’s much here to help
you, Trish,’ the woman, who was called Martha said, ‘but if there’s
anything I can do don’t hesitate to ask. I think this book is a
brilliant idea and it’s about time someone other than Madame
Seymour did something to put Lakeview on the map.’ She sniffed, her
tone leaving them in no doubt as to her opinion of the local
celebrity and Nina figured it was probably a stroke of good luck
that Ruth had decided not to accompany them today.

When
Martha left, Trish plopped down her large leather holdall and
started perusing the shelves. ‘What do you think we should look
for?’ she asked.

Nina
grimaced. ‘I was hoping you would know, this is your project, after
all.’

‘
Yeah well, truth be told, I have no idea.’

Nina
grabbed a volume containing newspaper clippings off the wall. ‘This
is impressive. I suppose I didn’t think that Lakeview had any
history that was worthwhile enough to merit an entire
room.’

Trish
smiled at her tone. ‘Oh, aren’t you the sarcastic one, Lakeview
happens to have a splendid history, rich and colourful and…’ Trish
faltered.

‘
Exactly,’ Nina said laughing. ‘You know as much about this
town’s history as I do.’

‘
Well, I will know the history,’ Trish said haughtily and Nina
raised an eyebrow. ‘Just as soon as I finish this book,’ she added
giggling. ‘Seriously though, I suppose I’m looking for stuff that’s
interesting, a bit quirky maybe? Something that’ll surprise
people.’

Typical,
Nina thought smiling; she should have known that Trish’s
instructions would be clear as mud. Interesting and quirky weren’t
exactly words that jumped out at you when you thought of this
place.

Several
hours later, she stood up to stretch, feeling dusty and yellowed, a
little bit like this room. And there was no denying her hunger.
These days she couldn’t stop eating, a side-effect of not being
able to keep breakfast down, she supposed. Trish, on the other hand
was still eagerly reading each and every piece of newspaper and
examining every picture with the intense scrutiny of a
pit-bull.