The Hermit (10 page)

He
paced the porch, smoking.  “I met a woman in the Congo.  Officially, we weren’t
there but that was where I was stationed for most of my military career.”  His
eyes stared off toward the mountains, seeing the jungle and a small village.  “She
was kind and funny and knew I was fucked up but didn’t seem to mind.”  Ryan
shook his head.  “I took care of her.  Made sure her and her family had what
they needed, which took shockingly few American dollars to accomplish.  I’d see
her every few months when I got leave and her people accepted me.”  He took a
long drag and whispered, “A year after we met, she got pregnant and had a
little girl.  We named her Natalia.  I only saw her once.”  He rubbed his eyes
hard, wishing he could stop seeing the past. 

“A
gorilla group invaded her village.  Killed all the men, beheaded the children. 
They raped the women again and again before they left them to die.  It was a
message to other villages in the territory not to resist their occupation,
their brutality.  When our team arrived, every building was slowly burning,
despite a misting rain.” 

He
swallowed hard and lit another cigarette with a shaking hand.  “I found her…the
mother of my child…in a pool of her own blood.  She was still alive.  As much
pain as she was in physically, the psychological damage was much worse.  With
the last of her strength, she held what was left of our daughter in her arms. 
She begged me, pleaded with me, to kill her.  To end it and let her find
peace.  She couldn’t go on, couldn’t live with the memories of what had been
done to our child and to her.  I kissed her once and then I broke her neck. 
There was a smile on her face that haunts me still.” 

Ryan
still felt physical agony at the memory, the horror, of that day.  Then his
voice went cold.  “I hunted down and executed seventeen men over the next
weeks.  Their entire little gang of murderers and rapists fell to my rifle and
then my knives.  I made them suffer for a long time.  None of them were given
an easy death.  What frightened me was how much I enjoyed it.  After I’d taken
out the men responsible for taking what little peace I’d been able to find, I
left the Congo, I left the military, and took my shot at living a normal life.”

His
heart was racing, his stomach sick with the verbal acknowledgement of the
things he’d done.  No regret.  No guilt, even now.  He hated showing Daphne who
he really was.  “I came back to the States and focused on my medical career.  I
opened a clinic that specialized in helping ex-military.  A one-stop shop for
rehab, surgery, and psychotherapy.  I realize now it made us a target.”  He
focused on the cigarette for a moment and Daphne waited quietly, refusing to
interrupt. 

“We’d
been open three years when we received an anonymous package containing an
unknown bio-weapon.  It was released through the entire building when my
receptionist simply cut open the envelope.  By the time I identified the
primary compound and figured out an antidote, our quarantined building
contained seven living and thirty-one dead.” 

He
gave a humorless laugh, “I received huge pats on the back, big publicity for
cracking the code so quickly and saving so many lives.  I couldn’t tell you the
name of a single celebrity who congratulated me, of a single politician who
gave me a medal – but I still know every name of the thirty-one people who died
because I wasn’t fast enough.  I sold everything I owned and came here, a place
I’d been one time on a hunting trip with my team ten years before.  The day I
found you, you were the first person I’d seen in more than four years.”  He
took a deep breath and added, “Everything I touch gets corrupted somehow.  That
is a lot less likely if you become a hermit.”  He snubbed out the cigarette and
lit another, allowing Daphne time to absorb all he’d told her. 

When
she spoke, he could hear the tears in her voice, “Ryan, I understand now.  Why
you live so far from people, from civilization.  I’m so sorry.  I’m sorry I
brought so many horrible memories back to life for you but I’m grateful it was
you who found me.”  She gave a single quiet sob.  “I wish I was close enough to
hug you right now because I think you could really use some human contact.  I
wonder how you’ve stayed so gentle, so kind, with all you’ve seen and
experienced in your life.  How old are you, Ryan?”

He was
struggling to keep it together but somehow managed to say roughly, “Forty-two.”

She
gave him a watery laugh, “You look thirty.  I’ll be twenty-nine this year and
look forty.  Funny how two different roads led us to the same place in the
middle of nowhere, Alaska.” 

“You
do
not
look forty, Daphne.”

“Ha. 
Well, I
feel
forty then.  A plastic surgeon whose sister was one of my
hospice patients has been working on the scarring.  A dentist I knew through my
Aunt Glenda took care of my ruined teeth.  Now I have mostly implants.  Janice
says you can’t tell the difference.  I think she’s ridiculously sweet.”  She
paused for a long time before asking him quietly, “Would you come here, if I
asked you to, Ryan?  Here to me?  If I told you I needed you to?”

“I
would,” he answered her without hesitation.

“As
much as you’ve withdrawn from the world at large, you went with me into
McArthur.  You would come all the way to Ohio if I felt you were the only
person who could help me?”

“I
would leave immediately if you needed me, Daphne.”

“Okay. 
I reserve the right to ask that of you if things get to be too bad.  I don’t know
what’s going to happen, but I may need you, Ryan.  I think I may get worse
before I get better.”

“Daphne,
say the word and I’ll come to you.  But if that happens, you have to promise to
wait for me.  I’m not around the corner.  No matter what, you have to wait for
me.”  Securing her promise meant a lot to him.  Daphne was a very honest
woman. 

They
talked for another hour and Ryan was amazed at the burden she’d lifted from him
just by listening and not judging his past.  He was surprised when she didn’t
call the next day. 

It was
strange how accustomed he’d become to her calls. 

How
much he missed her voice.

Two
days later, Ryan was beginning to feel the unfamiliar emotion of panic.  He
hadn’t heard from Daphne and she wasn’t picking up her phone.  Calls to Janice
went to voicemail and he’d started checking flights from the nearest airport
almost one hundred miles away. 

He
told himself there was no way Daphne wouldn’t give him the chance to help her,
to help ease some of her turmoil.  She thought it was anger when in reality it
was a sense of helplessness.  He knew because it was exactly the way he’d felt
during the two most horrific events of his life. 

She
wanted control.  To know she had enough power to keep from being hurt again. 
He ached to convince her that she already had it.  That she’d had it all along
and only the actions of her kidnappers had forced her submission.  Inside her,
she held a core of steel.  It was what had kept her alive; it was what had
given her the will to escape in her weakened condition at the time.  There had
never been anyone in his life that he admired more.

Late
that afternoon, he heard the helicopter arriving to drop his quarterly delivery
in the meadow at the base of the mountain.  When he’d first decided to withdraw
from the world, Ryan had known there were certain things he couldn’t live
without.  Produce, beef, and books were high on the list. 

Glancing
out the kitchen window, he watched the chopper descending.  As it lowered out
of sight, he pulled on boots and a jacket.  He’d check the drop and go get the
Kubota to haul it up to the cabin.  There was no need to rush.  His
instructions were very clear.  He paid a certain amount for them to deliver
everything from his PO Box in McArthur and they were satisfied with his email
confirmation.  Opening the door ten minutes later, he watched as the chopper
lifted off and soon disappeared from sight. 

He
closed the cabin door and went down the porch steps.  It was as he headed across
the clearing, he saw her.  Daphne was running towards him full out wearing
hiking boots with a fully loaded pack strapped to her back.  She shrugged the
pack from her shoulders mid-stride and let it drop to the ground, never
breaking her stride. 

When
she was within a couple of feet, she jumped at him.  He caught her, stumbling
back a step with the impact.  Her arms were in a vice grip around his neck, her
legs around his waist just as tight.  He realized his own arms were wrapped
around her torso, crushing her to him with all his strength.  He concentrated
on loosening them but Daphne didn’t do the same.  Horrifyingly, his entire body
reacted to her instantly.  There was no doubt in his mind that he’d never been
harder in his life.

They
stayed like that for several minutes.  Standing in the middle of his clearing
with her wrapped around his body.  He stroked his hand over her hair, his heart
clutching at the realization that it was no longer coarse and unhealthy.  She
smelled like citrus and vanilla. 

Without
releasing her grip, Daphne lifted her face to look at him and he could not
believe the changes in her.  Her skin was taut and lightly tanned.  Dark, silky
hair fell down her chest and back, kept restrained in a long ponytail.  Her deep
brown eyes were clear and healthy, sparkling now with unshed tears. 

But
her
smile
, dear lord…that was what almost brought him to his knees.  She
was smiling at him with full, supple lips and perfect new teeth.  For the first
time, he realized she had dimples in her cheeks and for some strange reason that
made him want to laugh.

“You
shaved.”  He nodded.  “I like your face, Ryan, very much.”  She stared at his dark
blue eyes and squared jaw, finally lifting her hands to stroke his shaggy dark
blond hair back from his forehead. 

Bringing
her palms to rest on his ruggedly tanned cheeks, she leaned in and kissed him, gentle
little pecks back and forth over his lips as his grip tightened across her back
again.  Burying her face in his neck, she whispered, “I’ve missed you.  Every
day,
every single day
, I’ve missed you, Ryan.  Please let me stay.” 

He
turned his face into her hair, breathing in the clean smell of her shampoo.  It
was right to have her here, so right to be holding her.  Something inside him
clicked into place, as if what he’d been missing all along had finally been
given to him.  Nothing had ever terrified him so much.

Ryan
walked to the porch and sat on the steps, smiling when she made no move to let
go of him.  “Please tell me Janice knows where you are or she’ll be frantic.” 
She nodded against him, seemed to like how it felt and rubbed her cheek over
the warm skin of his neck.  “Daphne…I…need to set you down, honey.” 

Lifting
her head, she met his eyes with an expression he didn’t recognize at first. 
Then he realized it was aggression, hunger.  “Ryan, I’ve been in rehab and
psychotherapy for almost a year now.  I’ve talked to you on the phone almost
daily for thousands of hours and can say with all honesty you are
still
the only male of the human race that doesn’t scare the daylights out of me.” 

She
gave him another of her beautiful smiles, “A hard-on isn’t going to send me
screaming, I promise.”  Daphne stroked over his brows and down his jaw, “I have
to say, I didn’t notice how absolutely gorgeous you were before.”  He rolled
his eyes at her.  “No, I’m serious.  You’re a full-fledged hottie.”  Ryan laughed. 
She tilted her head to the side, “See the scar?”  He took her jaw in his hand
and examined the area where once there had been a long, jagged scar almost a
quarter of an inch wide.  All that remained was a thin pale line. 

“Daphne,
that’s amazing,” he told her honestly.

She
was smiling.  “I know, right?  The doctor did plastic surgery on that one then treated
a bunch of the other scars.  Some of the smaller ones are almost gone
completely.  The bigger ones will take longer but I have this cream he
prescribed that fades them a little more all the time.  Look.”  She fished in
her jacket pocket and pulled out her wallet, flipping it open to her ID and a
senior picture beside it. 

“I got
my new ID about a month before I came to Alaska.  This is my corny senior photo
with a big goofy grin.  What do you think?”  She gave the same smile and he
compared the two.