The Highlander's Tempestuous Bride (32 page)

“I dinnae expect to find ye here. I must be back at Morven tomorrow and couldnae wait for ye at Scaurness.”

“Och, I cannae keep Will away just because his grandda and I dinnae get along.”

Her voice was light, cheerful. It was difficult to hide her happiness at seeing Conn. She motioned him inside the room and toward the sleeping bairn. Conn took a step forward and paused. Keita’s dour, untrusting look returned, causing Gilda to wonder what she thought Conn planned.

“He is here to visit Will, not ravish me,” she scolded. Conn coughed and Keita’s face reddened. With her nose tilted in the air, the maid pivoted on her heel and stalked down the hall.

Laughter burst from Gilda as she led Conn across the bedroom to the cradle lined with silver birch bark to keep evil spirits and faeries at bay.

Amber eyes blinked sleepily at them, tracking from one face to the other. A toothless grin split Will’s face and he kicked his feet beneath the blanket, waving his chubby hands in the air.

“So, ye are awake, my lad?” Gilda tucked the bairn into her arms and turned to Conn, offering the chance to hold Will. With eager hands, he took the bairn and lifted him into the air. Will chuckled and thrust a fist into his mouth.

Gilda sighed. “Ye best give him back to me before he realizes how hungry he is.” Her face brightened. “We were going to break our fast on the beach, but Lissa isnae feeling well. Would ye go with us?”

“Aye. I can linger the day.” He handed Will back as the bairn began to chew vigorously on his fist. “I will meet ye in the great hall when ye both are ready.”

He cleared the room, shutting the door behind him, and Gilda unlaced her bodice as she sang softly to her baby.

Feeding, burping and a change completed, Gilda made quick work of getting a basket of food together. Duncan and Archie, as well as Conn’s men, would act as guards, and Gilda bade the cook to include plenty of food for all. She settled Will against her in a heavy cloth sling after she climbed aboard Fia, and, taking the reins, began the sedate walk to the beach.

Later, Gilda’s heart swelled with contentment as she watched Conn and Will together. Conn lay on an elbow, propped above the bairn, and dangled a late-summer flower above his face. The baby’s amber eyes tracked the slow movements and his fists alternately fanned the air and retreated to his mouth.

“Ye are so good with him.”

Conn glanced up, the foolish smile with which he’d entertained Will lingering on his face.

“Ye know how much I enjoy spending time with him.” His look turned serious. “And ye.”

Gilda dropped her gaze and fingered a tiny flower poking through the grass at her side. Her forefinger traced the silken petals and down the hairy stem. The air was bright with morning sunshine, and the thin canvas stretched over them and anchored by four slender poles, flapped gently in the breeze. The soldiers formed a distant perimeter around them, giving both privacy and protection. Beyond the wiry salt grass, waves broke on the shore, a repetitive, lulling sound giving Gilda reassurance and courage.

“Do ye often think of that day, last year—” She could not finish the question, but Conn nodded. He rolled to a seated position and draped one forearm across his knee, twirling the flower between two fingers as Will cooed.

“Aye. ’Tis not so frequent now, but for months not a day went past I dinnae wonder what I could have done differently, how things would have changed—if it had been me killed that day instead of him.”

Gilda lightly touched Conn’s upper arm in sympathy. “I used to blame myself for wanting an outing that day. As I dinnae lure us out to help the pirates attack, and truly dinnae know they had returned, I finally had to admit ’twas not my fault.”

“Gilda, ’twas never yer fault.”

“I know.” She pressed a hand to her heart. “In here, I know. Up here?” Her finger pointed to her head. “’Twas not so easy to understand.”

Conn paused thoughtfully then turned his attention to Will, who appeared to be studying the undulating canvas overhead with awed intensity. The baby’s rosebud lips puckered in an ‘O’ of delight and he chortled happily.

“I am amazed every time I see him,” Conn murmured.

Gilda swallowed past a sudden lump in her throat. “He needs a father, Conn.”

Conn glanced up sharply. “What are ye saying, Gilda?”

She shot him a teasing look. “I cannae be a mother
and
father to him, ye know.”

“Are ye ready to be my wife, then?”

Gilda hesitated.
Was
she ready to be Conn’s wife?
He doesnae stir me as Ryan did.
But would there ever be another man such as her true love? Did she want to live with Conn, love him, bear his children? She was no longer a starry-eyed girl. She knew full well what Conn asked of her.

It could be sweet between us. Is that enough?

Somberly, she nodded. “Aye.”

“Do ye love me?”

Again, Gilda looked for the truth in her answer. Would Conn settle for her dedication to their marriage, her companionship and her acceptance of him in their bed?
Oh, Conn, I cannae love ye as I did Ryan.

“I love how ye love Will. I love how ye make me feel wanted and safe.” She worried her lower lip. “I dinnae know if I love ye like ye want. But I would do all in my power to be sure ye never regretted marrying me.”

Conn stared into the distance. “I thought if I loved ye, if ye let me love ye, it would be enough. But I want ye to love me, too.” He turned an intense gaze to her. “Do ye still love Ryan?”

A tremor shot through Gilda and she closed her eyes, fiercely holding the memories at bay. His face had faded in her mind, the look and smell and touch of him slowly becoming a mere ghost of the past. But the space in her heart only he inhabited was still empty, still tender.

At last she opened her eyes. “There will always be a place inside that remembers him. Seeing Will every day keeps that alive. I dinnae know how to change that.”

Conn scooted across the few inches that separated them and pulled her against him. It was the first time in more than a year she’d been held by a man, one who wanted to be her husband, her lover. Her breath quickened and heat swirled through her, banishing the emptiness inside. As his lips met hers, she slid her arms around his neck and curved her body to his.

With a groan, he cupped her face in his hands and ended the kiss, slowly pulling his lips away. He rested his forehead against hers, his breathing a rasping echo of Gilda’s own.

“I thought our lives would fit, regardless if ye loved me or not. I am not sure that is true anymore. I have loved Will since the day he was born, but I also love ye, Gilda. God help me if I hear Ryan’s name on yer lips while loving ye.”

Cold doubt washed over her.
Am I making a mistake?
“What if—”

Conn touched his finger to her lips, silencing her.

“Let me help ye forget him, Gilda. I dinnae want him to come between us.”

His next kiss stirred her, warmed her.

And for a moment, she believed he could make her forget Ryan forever.

Conn brushed a final kiss against Gilda’s temple and rose to his feet. She tilted her head in question.

“What is it?”

He gave her a reassuring look. “A
birlinn
approaches the dock. I would not have thought any would chance the weather. The seas have been choppy for several days. Likely a storm brews up the Channel.”

A chill shivered down Gilda’s spine. “Think ye ’tis a pirate ship?” She attempted to make the question lighthearted, but her voice broke, betraying her sudden fear.

“Och, nae. Dinnae fash yerself. There are soldiers at the dock. They will be watchful.”

Gilda tried to steady her heart as it raced in her chest. She forced herself to take slow, even breaths, but it left her light-headed, and her throat was dry. She rose to her feet.

“I believe ’tis time to take Will back to Ard. We will likely travel home to Scaurness tomorrow since Lissa is not feeling well.” She began gathering the remains of their meal, tossing food and cloths in the large wicker cubbie.

“Here. Let me give ye a hand.” Conn reached across the basket to help, but his movement startled Gilda and she knocked against the lid. It fell with a thud, rapping her fingers still gripping the edge.

“Oh!” She jerked her hand free, thrusting the throbbing fingers to her lips as tears sprang to her eyes.

“Gilda! I am sorry. Let me see.”

“’Tis not your fault,” she murmured, her voice high and tight in her ears. But she let him hold her injured hand in his, inspecting the light red line across her knuckles. “I am more startled than hurt.”

He lifted her hand and gently kissed the back of her fingers, one at a time. By the time he finished, Gilda’s heart rate was racing more from pleasure than fright.

“The thought of pirates still upsets ye?”

“Aye. I thought it had passed, but when I left Scaurness, one of the twins shouted for me to beware of pirates. For several moments, it was as if it were happening all over again. I could see, hear, smell everything.”

Conn glanced past her to the dock. “I believe the
birlinn
is carrying sea sales and likely the last until after the storm. Mayhap a walk to the pier, seeing the normal shipping would help put yer fears to rest?”

Gilda chewed her lip and cast a doubtful look at Will who had managed to kick a foot free of his blanket and grab his toes. He seemed content to pull his foot back and forth, and Gilda took a deep breath, steeling her nerve.

“Aye. A walk would do us all some good. Mayhap I will get a glimpse of some of the goods before they are sent up to the castle.”

“Looking for cloth for a new gown? Mayhap a wedding gown?” Conn’s teasing grin sparked an answering one from Gilda.

“Ye will want to talk to my da, but, aye. I will need cloth for my wedding gown.”

* * *

Shona displayed her displeasure at the rough sea crossing by nipping the first lad who tried to enter her makeshift stall, and turning her back on the second, adding an ill-tempered swish of her tail in warning.

A large wooden chest, no longer secure after the tossing waves, suddenly crashed to the deck, spilling its contents as its slats burst apart. Bottles scattered across the planks with the sound of rolling thunder and Shona shied at the rumbling noise, tossing her head as she lifted her forefeet off the floor of her stall.

“Steady, lass.” Ryan watched as her ears twitched in his direction. She shook her long mane and stamped a hoof irritably. “Let the lads sort out the mess and we will be off this ship. Ye dinnae want to be risking a cut leg on one of those broken bottles.”

The ship’s captain stalked past, anger showing as he berated the hapless lads clearing the deck. The sweet odor of claret permeated the air as it bled from the broken bottles across the wooden planks. Within a few moments, the salvaged flasks were packed away amid fresh straw, and the remaining shards swept away.

Ryan slipped the leather halter over Shona’s head and led her from the stall. She butted his back with her forehead in her eagerness to leave the ship, and he took a skip step forward. “Wheesht, lass. I am sorry for the delay, but I will have ye saddled in a trice and give ye a bit of a run.” He raised a hand to his brow, shielding the sun. “Looks like we will need to be careful of the people headed to the docks. Likely the captain will do well with his sea sales today.”

A lad met him in a covered area just off the dock and handed him Shona’s saddle and bridle. With a nod of thanks, Ryan tossed the lad a coin and quickly tacked up the mare. She danced on the end of her reins, obviously eager to put distance between herself and the ship. With a grin for her antics, he stepped lightly into the stirrup and swung aboard.

“Give yer muscles a bit of time to warm up and get used to dry land.” His hand firm on the reins, he guided her through the crowded path up the beach. His heart quickened its beat and his head grew light with anticipation. He’d cleaned up as best he could in the moments before the ship docked, and managed to change into a moderately fresh leine. A complete transformation from ship voyager to laird’s son would have to wait. Announcing his return from the dead would likely be a long, joyful event.

What would Gilda think? What would she do? He imagined her now, a year of mourning behind her.
It must have been verra rough on the lass. I doubt she’s smiled much in the past months. My poor, sweet Gilda.
She had likely wasted away, devastated, no appetite to speak of
.
He’d heard of women whose hair had turned prematurely gray after they’d endured such a traumatic event. Would her beautiful hair have faded?

He reined Shona away from a cart full of produce and settled her beneath a canvas overhang in front of a tiny tavern as he took in the activity around him. The scene was much the same as the day he’d arrived home more than a year ago, how he had left Conn nursing a sick stomach and traveled along the beach searching for memories.

And found Gilda.

Sunlight glinted off thick red curls as a woman walked in his direction. Her face was tilted away as she listened to the man beside her. His hair shone gold and his attention turned to the bundle she carried in her arms. He took it from her, lifting it in the air. A section of cloth fell away, revealing a bairn who waved chubby fists at him.

Ryan smiled. He could imagine a scene such as this with himself and Gilda in a year or so. A twinge of envy twisted inside as he contemplated the time he and his sweet wife had lost.

The man and woman tossed back their heads, laughing. Recognition flooded in an icy wash through Ryan’s veins. ’Twas no chance couple out for a stroll on the beach.

This was Conn and Gilda—and their bairn!

Chapter 31

Gilda laughed as Conn tickled the baby’s chin, earning a gurgling coo as Will waved his chubby fists.
Conn is so good to him. He will be good for both of us. I have made the right decision.

The words flooded her heart, piercing her with warmth and conviction.
Da will be back in a few days and we will start arrangements then. It has been more than a year since the pirate attack. So much has happened. I know he will give us his blessing.